The Inadequate Life

They were still going over the notes on the potion to destroy the Horcruxes when lunchtime came around. Since the Ravenclaws had been demonstrating some of their experimentation, it would have been dangerous to have any food in the room, so they took a break to eat. But after half an hour they all crowded back into the conference room and picked up where they had left off.

By dinner time everyone, even Ginny, was cautiously convinced that the theory behind the potion was sound. Hermione was going to go through everything again step by step, but no one could find any holes in the reasoning. “So,” Harry said, “the next step is to bring Pansy up to speed and get her opinion. I think that we can do that after dinner—I’ll ask her to come up here after she’s eaten. Can the four of you,” he said, indicating Luna, Padma, Terry and Sally-Ann, “fill her in on everything and answer her questions?”

“Well… we can, but your insight on the Horcruxes might be necessary for her to really grasp everything,” Padma pointed out.

“All right—if there’s something that just isn’t coming across, then we’ll all get together and help explain,” Harry told them. “But try it by yourselves, first, okay? Me, Ginny, Ron and Hermione all have other responsibilities that we ignored all day so we could talk about this, and we have to catch up.”

“Oh—I’m sorry!” Sally-Ann exclaimed. “If you had just said something we could have stopped…”

“No, it’s okay,” Harry assured her. “This was far more important than anything else.”

Everyone got up to leave, stretching and groaning—some of them had been sitting for almost six hours. But Hermione remained seated; “Erm, Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“Could I have a word with you?” Hermione asked nervously. “Privately?”

Surprised, Harry found himself glancing at Ginny. “Er—”

“Sure he can,” Ginny said calmly, smiling at Hermione. “Harry, I’ll see you downstairs, okay?”

“Okay,” Harry agreed. Ginny kissed him on the cheek and stepped out of the conference room, where she took Ron by the arm and steered him away, muttering to him.

“What was that about?” Hermione asked after Harry had shut the door, leaving them alone.

Harry considered telling her about his and Ginny’s problems with jealousy, but decided not to. It was in the past, and anyway it was between him and Ginny. “Nothing,” he said, sitting down again. “Ginny and I worked it out a while ago. Everything’s fine—better than ever, in fact.” He smiled reassuringly at Hermione. “Okay,” he asked, “what’s going on?”

“Well,” Hermione said hesitantly, “you remember what we talked about earlier—I thought that I simply wasn’t powerful enough to do it, but you asked me to research it and be certain?”

“Yeah, of course,” Harry agreed, suddenly very alert. “What about it?”

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” Hermione said, wringing her hands together. “I haven’t stopped thinking about it, to be honest. And I’ve done as much research as I can, and I think—”

“What?” Harry asked when Hermione didn’t go on. “Hermione, what do you think?”

“I think—that I might be capable of it after all,” Hermione whispered.

“That’s great!” Harry exclaimed ecstatically. “Thank you so much, Hermione—you might have just solved the one problem we didn’t have any other solution for! It could make the difference—”

“I know,” Hermione interrupted fretfully. “That’s why I’m so scared, Harry! I don’t want our victory hinging on me! One little mistake, or if I’m not strong enough magically, and we’ll lose! I can’t handle that kind of pressure—”

“Hermione, stop!” Harry interrupted. He got up and went around the table so he could sit next to her, and took one of her hands in his. “It won’t be all up to you,” he insisted. “It’s a big part, yes, but it’s only one part—everyone’s going to have to do their part right for us to pull this off. We’ve always known that. If anything will make or break our success, it’s what I do when I face Voldemort again. And if you agree to do this, then you wouldn’t even be there. Heck, you’d be lucky—you wouldn’t have to face him at all!”

“If?” Hermione looked up from her hands and met Harry’s eyes. “If I agree to do it?”

“Of course, if,” Harry confirmed. “I’m not going to force you to do something like this, Hermione. It’s your choice. And before you say that there isn’t a choice because we don’t have another way, if you decide you can’t do it then we’ll find another way.”

“But—but we’ve already tried—”

We’ll keep trying,” Harry insisted. “And we’ll figure it out. Maybe we’d have to cut down the scale of the battle or something, but somehow we’d do it, even if you say no. So don’t feel that you have to.”

Hermione dropped her eyes to her hands again, and sat silently for a long moment. “You don’t have to choose now, either,” Harry added. “It can wait a bit longer—”

“No,” Hermione interrupted, and her voice was confident, if a bit shaky. “I’ve been thinking about it long enough. And I do think that with the proper preparation, I can make it work. But I won’t be good for anything else,” she added. “I’ll actually have to be in a trance-like state.”

“That’s okay,” Harry said. “We’ll put you in a secure place and have someone guard you—”

“No, I’ll have to be somewhere in Diagon Alley,” Hermione countered. “But it should be all right. That is—if we can spare anyone from the battle to guard me…”

“Of course we can,” Harry said firmly. “I know at least one person who’ll insist on guarding you.” Hermione blushed. “We’ll have to rearrange things a bit, but Wood will love the challenge,” Harry added. “So do you mean that—”

“I’ll do it,” Hermione agreed. She looked half terrified at the prospect, but she no longer hesitated. “It’s positively our best chance of winning… so I’ll do it.”

To Hermione’s surprise, Harry threw his arms around Hermione. “Thank you,” he murmured thickly into her neck.

Laughing slightly, Hermione hugged Harry back. “Just be sure to do your part,” she teased. “I’d hate to go to all the trouble and have Voldemort slip away anyway.”

“Oh no,” Harry said, pulling back so she could see the fierce determination in his eyes. “He’s not getting away from me.”

Hermione shuddered slightly at the expression on Harry’s face. “We need to tell Ron and Ginny right away,” she pointed out. “They’ve been planning without knowing about this… we’ll need to make a lot of adjustments. And,” she added, “we’ll have to figure out who’s going to go with you and Ginny to confront Voldemort, because just two won’t be enough.”

“That’s true,” Harry agreed. “All right—let’s go down and have supper, and then we’ll come back up here with Ron and Ginny ad fill them in. And,” he added ruefully, “we’d better be prepared for a long night of arguing.”

*****

Harry had been absolutely right about the arguing. Ron and Ginny both raised vocal objections to Harry and Hermione’s plan. However, Harry noticed that a lot of the objections arose from their anger over not having been in on the plan until that night, and on breaking up the four of them.

After arguing into the early hours of the morning, Harry and Hermione’s steadfast insistence that their plan would work wore Ron and Ginny down. Finally, around four in the morning, the two Weasleys had reluctantly agreed that the plan was their best option. “I still don’t like it,” Ron grumbled tiredly. He looked at Harry, and his expression was full of guilt. “I always thought that I’d be right there with you, mate,” he said wretchedly. “I’d be by your side when you finally faced down the Dark Bunghole for the last time. But… well, if this is what we’re going to do… I just can’t leave Hermione, Harry. I can’t. Not when…”

“I wouldn’t ask you to, Ron,” Harry assured his best friend. “Honestly, I always assumed that too, but—if the situations were reversed, I wouldn’t be able to leave Ginny. I’d feel bad about deserting you, but I just couldn’t do it.”

Ron ducked his head. “I feel like—like I’m being a bad friend,” he admitted shamefully.

“You’ve never been a bad friend, and you never will, Ron,” Harry insisted. “Well—okay, you were a bad friend at the start of the Tri-Wizard tournament,” he teased, making Ron look up in surprise and grin embarrassedly.

“Harry,” Ginny said, more calmly than Harry would have expected, “I do agree that this is a good plan. It solves almost all the problems we were going to have with containing the battle, and making sure that Voldemort ends up where we need him. But we absolutely have to have someone else there with us. Voldemort is simply too powerful for you and I to deal with on our own, even if we have destroyed the Horcruxes. Hell, even with the four of us there, he’s still too powerful. We need someone else there, preferably at least two someone elses, to help us distract him and keep him off balance until you get the chance to do—whatever it is you’re going to do.”

“What I’m going to do shouldn’t take long,” Harry said. “I shouldn’t need more than a few seconds. But you’re right, we do need two more people.”

“Wait—it shouldn’t take more than a few seconds?” Ron said, startled. You mean you have it ready?”

“Not ready,” Harry corrected. I’m developing it. Give me another week and I’ll tell you all what I’m planning.”

All three of them stared amazedly at him. “Harry—you’re serious?” Ginny exclaimed hopefully. “You actually have some idea what you’re going to do against Voldemort?”

Harry nodded. “More than just ‘some idea’, in fact. But I don’t want to say just yet. One more week, and I’ll show all of you.”

“That’s the single most welcome piece of news I’ve heard since we reformed the D.A.!” Hermione exclaimed.

“I’ve been working on it for ages,” Harry told them. “But I didn’t want to say anything until I thought it might work. Like I said, give me one more week to finish my research, and I’ll fill you all in.”

Everyone was considerably happier and more optimistic after hearing that news—which Harry had known they would be. “But we still have the problem of who will join us against Voldemort,” Ginny pointed out.

“That’s true,” Harry said with a grimace. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I can only think of one person who’s right to ask.”

“Neville,” Ron said instantly. “He’s become a good wizard since he got some confidence, and if there’s anyone in the world who has a reason to hate Voldemort and want him dead—besides you, Harry—thank it’s Neville. And he’s the bravest, loyalest bloke you’ll ever meet.”

Harry nodded. “Neville was who I was thinking. Assuming Pansy doesn’t skin me for even suggesting it.” He sighed. “Before I ask him, let’s all think about it, okay? We need to rethink how much manpower we’ll need in Diagon Alley anyway, with the new plan. That is the plan we’re going to go with, right?” he asked Ron and Ginny pointedly.

They both nodded with fair confidence. “Just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s not a good plan,” Ron grumbled.

Harry grinned. “Say, speaking of manpower—Hermione, have you heard from Krum yet?”

“Not yet,” Hermione said with a frown. “Of course, owl post to him can take some time, since the owl has to find Dumrstrang. And with all the protective charms and spells I put on it to ensure it wasn’t read by anyone else—since we’re still trying to give the impression that I’m dead—that could make it could take even a little longer. Still, it has been a week, which is longer than I would have expected, considering the subject matter of the letter.”

“Durmstrang? He’s still at school?” Ginny said in surprise. “What’s he doing there?”

“Teaching flying,” Hermione answered with a little smile. “He’s their school’s Madam Hooch.”

Harry tried to imagine the surly Viktor Krum coaxing frightened first-years onto a broom for the first time, and failed. “Huh,” was all he said. “Well… if you hear from him let us know.”

“Of course!”

Harry yawned hugely. “Okay… it’s time for bed. Tomorrow we’ll have to catch up on all the stuff we ignored today.”

“Plus,” Ginny reminded him, “we have to find out how things went with Pansy’s Horcrux education.”

*****

The next morning after breakfast, Harry, Hermione, Ginny, Ron, Luna, Sally-Ann, Padma, Terry and Pansy all crowded into the second conference room. Harry decided that if meetings with eight or nine people were going to continue, he definitely had to enlarge the room.

“Bloody hell, Potter,” Pansy said as soon as the door was closed. “Horcruxes? No wonder the Dark Lord’s managed to hang around for so long!”

Harry hesitated. “You mean you knew what a Horcrux was?”

“I’d heard stories,” Pansy confirmed. “Not about the Dark Lord specifically, but about the existence of Horcruxes. I didn’t know their name—not many people would—but the concept would be known, sparsely. I wouldn’t be surprised if Draco’s heard of them too—they’re infamous in pureblood circles. They’re one of those things whose existence is rumored, but no one, no matter how fanatic or inbred or stupid, would even consider trying to actually make one.”

“Which says something about Voldemort,” Ginny pointed out wryly.

“Yeah, it does,” Pansy agreed. She looked up at Harry, and he thought he saw a hint of respect that he’d never seen from her. “I knew that I’d chosen the right side,” she said, “but hearing about this confirms it even more strongly in my mind. No one insane enough to intentionally split their soul can be allowed to live.”

Harry nodded. “So what did you think of the plan for destroying the Horcruxes?” he asked.

“It’s sound,” Pansy said, and Harry let out a long sigh of relief—he’d half expected Pansy to berate them for coming up with something so ridiculous. “You’ve correctly interpreted the properties, and expected results, of the various ingredients. And the description of the Dark Lord’s resurrection—” she shuddered at the thought—“supports your plan for the method of delivery. Salt water was a particularly clever solution,” she continued, and Hermione reddened slightly. “Pretty much any potion involving basilisk venom—and I can’t believe you actually got some—is prepared in salt water for the exact reason you picked it: saturation. Salt water is especially conducive to saturation by basilisk venom.”

“So what you’re saying,” Harry summed up hopefully, “is that this potion will work for destroying the Horcruxes!”

“Almost,” Pansy said with a smirk.

“Almost?” Sally-Ann exclaimed. “But you said it was sound! You never mentioned an almost!”

“I do think it’ll work,” Pansy told them smugly. “But I think there’s one adjustment that would make it more potent and effective.”

“And what’s that?” Padma asked.

“Potter’s blood,” Pansy replied, fixing a stare on Harry. “Instead of pouring it from a vial, Potter should cut himself at the right moment and let the blood drip straight from his wound.”

Several people objected at once, but before they could really get into it Harry shouted “QUIET!” When everyone fell silent, he raised an eyebrow at Pansy. “Why would that be better?” he asked calmly.

“Blood sacrifice, even though it’s frowned upon by most of the Wizarding world, is one of the most potent forms of magic in existence,” Pansy explained. “The act of willingly giving of your flesh, literally putting a piece of yourself into what you’re attempting, is the single most powerful thing a wizard can do. It worked for The Dark Lord, who put pieces of himself into his Horcruxes. It worked when He resurrected Himself as well—the three ingredients of that spelled potion were the flesh of three people.”

“Don’t even try to compare what we’re doing with what that madman’s done!” Ron shouted.

“It does compare, Weasley,” Pansy retorted sharply. “Hell, you’ve intentionally mirrored the Dark Lord’s resurrection in your own potion! This would take that mirroring one step further, considering what Wormtail gave up back then. Actually, there’s another benefit to it—Potter’s blood was taken against his will two and a half years ago. Offering it willingly this time would be a strong contrast—the results would reflect that.”

“But if Harry’s blood is added from a vial, it’s still offering a piece of himself,” Hermione pointed out.

“But the results wouldn’t be as potent as they would if Potter opened himself and gave his blood in the moment,” Pansy insisted. “It would probably still work, yes—probably. But you’re talking about an immensely powerful magical object. The more power you can put into the act of destroying it, the more likely you are to succeed. Remember, Granger: there’s no such thing as Dark Magic and Light Magic—only magic used for good, or magic used for evil. If the application is intended to bring an end to a great evil, then can you really consider the act itself evil?”

No one responded, but some people looked like they still objected. Harry decided to take the question away from them; “All right,” he said. “If you think it will increase the odds of the potion working, then I’ll do it.”

“Glad you hear you’re not a coward, Potter,” Pansy drawled.

“While we’re on the subject,” Harry retorted, “I’d like you to supervise the potion, Pansy.”

Pansy’s eyes widened. “What? Wait a damned minute—”

“I’ll be there to add my blood,” Harry went on relentlessly, “but you’re our potions expert. You’ve got the most knowledge of mixing potions, and the steadiest hand. You understand the properties of the ingredients and can make adjustments on the fly if necessary. You said you’re convinced now that you’re on the right side—this is part of your being on our side. If we screw this up, Voldemort wins, so we need the best person for the job, and that’s you.”

Pansy looked like a stunned deer. She swallowed, opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it again. After a long pause, she finally managed to speak; “Well… I’ll be able to claim to be the only potions maker in history to have destroyed a Horcrux.”

Harry smirked. “True. Assuming that we survive the war, of course. When can you be ready?”

“I—I have some potions simmering that need to be finished,” Pansy said, her voice very quiet and reserved. “And I’ll need to clear the potions room floor so there’s nothing around the cauldron. We should probably use a completely new cauldron, this potion will be volatile and even traces of old potions could affect it—”

“I’ll have a new cauldron brought in,” Harry assured her. “And purified water, and salt. How long do you need?”

“Four days,” Pansy said finally. “Four days, and then we’ll give this madness a try.”