Doubts and Desires

A/N: I know that it has been an incredibly long time since I have last updated this story. I am incredibly sorry about this, and I do apologize for keeping people in suspense. I do hope to update more since it is the summer. Again, for updates about my stories, you can find them at my livejournal. My user name there is cassie_snape. I thank you for your patience, and I hope you continue to enjoy the story.


Chapter Twenty: Harry’s Secret


Hermione was in the potions lab, stirring the potion and adding yet another ingredient to it. So far the potion was working and appeared to be the correct color that was expected. It worried her that they wouldn’t know until the day they needed it, if it worked or not, but at least it was the hope that everything would be perfect. She had just finished stirring it clockwise for five minutes when Severus came in and examined her work.

Severus gave a slight hint of approval at her work. “We need to go to the meeting,” he said. Dumbledore had called them to an important meeting. It was almost an Order of the Phoenix meeting but not quite as it was held at Hogwarts and mainly among certain professors and a few select people outside Hogwarts.

She nodded and cleaned up before she was ready to go to the meeting. On the way there, they met up with Harry and Draco. “Hello, Harry, Draco,” she said warmly as Severus had just given a cool nod to the two of them.

“Hi, Hermione,” Harry said, giving his friend a hug. He then gave a polite nod to Severus. His green eyes glanced over to Draco. “I would like to talk to Hermione for a moment. You and Professor Snape could go on. We’ll catch up.”

Draco acted like he was going to take Harry’s hand and give it a squeeze, but he then decided against it and looked at Professor Snape, making a motion that they should go on.

Severus hesitated slightly to leave Hermione, but it was just with Potter, so he nodded to Draco and then they quietly mentioned a few things on their way up to the headmaster’s office.

Hermione looked at Harry. “What is it, Harry?” she asked as her voice reflected a tone of concern. It seemed like he was going to tell her something serious.

Harry looked at his friend. “Hermione, I need to tell you something,” he started quietly as he glanced around to make sure they weren’t being heard. “I…I’ve been seeing someone seriously for quite a while, and I’ve been wanting to tell you and Ron, but I’ve been worried about it, but since you are with Snape, I thought that you might understand a bit more.”

Her worried look relaxed a bit as she realized that it wasn’t that serious. In fact, she was glad that Harry had found some happiness. He deserved it. She was so curious as to who it was though because he seemed so worried about it. “Well, don’t keep me in suspense, Harry. Tell me who it is.”

He still hesitated briefly and looked down. “I-it’s Draco. I’m gay,” he said so quietly that Hermione had to strain to hear him.

She blinked and stared at him momentarily, digesting what he had told her. “Draco? How did that happen?” She remembered when they left school over four years ago that the two of them hated each other. It just seemed unbelievable.

He knew it would be a surprise. “Yes, Draco, and it just happened. We had ran into each other at a club in London, and the next thing we are drunk and having a fist fight, and one thing just led to another. I’ll leave off the rest of the details for you, but I-I love him.” He still wouldn’t look at her. “Are you angry about this?”

She listened to what he said. She then smiled slightly and gave him a hug. “No, I’m not angry. I’m happy for you. It’s just a surprise.”

He looked up at her and smiled. He then turned serious. “Don’t tell, Ron. I just can’t tell him yet. He wouldn’t understand.”

She nodded. “No, he wouldn’t understand.” She still hadn’t told Ron about her and Severus, and she could imagine that it would be even worst for Harry and Draco. She then took his hand and gave it a squeeze. “We should go in there for this meeting. Do you know what it is about?”

He was so relieved that she was taking this so well. He then gave her a solemn look. “Yes, I do,” he said as he walked with her into the meeting. He noticed that everyone was there, and he moved and took a seat beside of Dumbledore, giving the elderly wizard a nod. He noticed that Hermione had gone over and sat beside of Severus.

Dumbledore slowly rose and perused the group before speaking. “I know that most of you have no clue why you are here, but the wizarding world is facing a huge threat that has been building for over four years. Lucius Malfoy is being released from Azkaban in a short amount of time. But, he is not our only worry.” He then looked over to Harry. “Harry, tell us what you know.” He then sat down and gave his attention to the young man.

Harry slowly stood up and visibly swallowed hard. “Over four years ago, it was told that I destroyed Voldemort. This, unfortunately, was not the case.” There were some grumblings about this surprise, and he paused briefly before they calmed down. “He was gravely injured and has been in hiding these four years. Draco Malfoy knows that his father is planning a sort of get-together at Malfoy Manor once he is released. It is fairly certain that Voldemort will appear there to his followers, and we need to be ready to finally destroy him once and for all.”

“And how do you plan to do that when you didn’t even defeat him the last time?” Moody exclaimed as his magical eye was suspiciously looking at everyone.

Albus expected this. “Severus Snape and Hermione Granger are working on a potion to deflect the Killing Curse. This potion will be ready when needed, and it will be used to give enough time to defeat Voldemort once and for all.”

There was a brief flutter of noise about how this wasn’t going to work and was an insane plan.

Hermione was getting rather flustered by all of this, and she opened her mouth to speak, but she was stopped once Severus of all people spoke.

Severus’ baritone voice broke through the other voices. “The potion will work. This is the only plan we have, and it is imperative to move quickly before the Dark Lord can regain complete power over his Death Eaters.” He then quickly unbuttoned the sleeve of his shirt and rolled up it, revealing a faint mark on his left arm. “For four years, this mark was completely gone. It has been revealing itself more and more in the past few days. Voldemort is planning something, and we have to be ready.”

For once, everyone was completely silent for a couple of minutes as it sank in what all of this meant. “Well, what is the plan then?” Moody asked gruffly as he gave his acceptance to the idea so far.

A slight twinkle exposed itself in Albus’ blue eyes, although his face remained stoic. He then explained the plan to the Order Members. It was a fairly simple plan. Draco would be getting things ready for his father’s return. The Death Eaters and Voldemort would arrive and Draco would give them a signal. Harry would apparate right where Voldemort was and the rest of the Order Members would apparate around to defeat the Death Eaters in the house. If all worked, Voldemort would finally be defeated once and for all. It just all seemed to rest on the potion though. None of the Order Members were overly enthused with the plan, but they respected it and would follow through with it. None of them wanted another full out war.

The meeting then was over, and Hermione and Severus were walking back towards the dungeons, but both stopped when Draco caught up with them. Hermione assumed that Draco wanted to talk to Severus, and she was about to excuse herself when Draco said he wanted to talk to her. She gave a slightly confused look toward Severus. “Okay, Draco,” she said as she motioned to Severus that she would be fine. She then looked at Draco. “What is it?”

Draco still disliked the Mudblood to some extent, but he would be nice to her because of Harry. “Harry told me that he told you…about us.”

She nodded. “Yes, he did.” She still didn’t know what this was about.

“Are you sure the potion will work?” he asked in an almost whiney desperate tone.

She sighed softly as she realized that he was worried about Harry. She wished that she could give him positive news, but she just couldn’t. “Severus and I are doing everything we can to make certain the potion works. We won’t know until that morning, and even then, it isn’t completely certain. Draco, I am sorry that I can’t tell you more than that because I don’t know any more.”

Draco’s cold eyes flashed with anger briefly. He wasn’t angry at her. It was just the uncertainty of the situation. “Very well. Just…just make the potion work.” He then curtly turned and left her.

Hermione sighed again and began to chew on her lower lip. Draco was right. They did need to make the potion work. Everything depended on it. Otherwise, all would be lost.


A/N: Please read and review!