Fall into Madness

The sketches Ron made of the glen were bare lines and scribbles, with a simple stick figure on the boulder. He made these random scratches to get an idea in his head of how he wanted Luna to pose. He had her facing sideways gazing in the distance, and a light weight dress caught in a slight breeze flowing around her legs as they dangled from the ground. The lazy way he imagined her sitting would give a peaceful look, but he mainly wanted to capitalize on her hair. Luna still had fabulous hair, naturally white blonde as any Malfoy, cascading past her hips and almost to her knees.



She was due to arrive any moment, to go over the look he had in mind and the process he would go about it. He wanted to capture her in full light, and asking her to come and pose for him for a few hours every day wouldn’t be practical. He was going to use several rolls of film and shoot her from several angles as well as close ups in the type of light he wanted. He would paint from the photos at his leisure.



KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!!



“Come on in Harry!” He called over his shoulder. Harry mentioned taking the afternoon off and grabbing lunch, since it had been some time since he had seen Luna. Everyone’s schedules made gatherings difficult. “What did you bring for lunch?”



“I didn’t know you wanted it.” Ron spun around to a grinning Dorian. “I can easily have something delivered.”



“Dorian, leave.” Ron faced his easel again. He had prepped the canvas he was going to use and began fiddling around with tubes of muggle paint. He would be using a lot of earth tones and what seemed like a million shades of green. He had no idea what dress Luna was going to bring, but he asked her to make it something that would flow in the wind, and said spring time.



“A new one?” Dorian asked coming closer, and gesturing to the canvas.



“Dorian, I asked you to leave.” Ron was getting irritated. Dorian never understood that Ron needed isolation in his studio. Very few were allowed inside and even then, they waited for an invitation. Harry and Hermione shared the same home with him and still respected his studio by knocking on the outside door that he added. Coming and going at odd hours made it necessary for him to ad the door. It gave them the respect of not being bothered by his hours, but it also gave him the space he needed to work.



“We need to talk. Hasn’t this gone on long enough?” Dorian took a seat on the high stool Ron used to hold vases and jars.



“Hasn’t what gone on long enough?” Ron put down the paint tube he was holding and faced Dorian.



“This little tantrum of yours. You won’t return my owls.” He said.



“There is no ‘us’ anymore. How many times do I have to say it.” Ron spoke with clenched teeth. One thing that rattled him beyond believe was having his words or thoughts dismissed as nothing. Dorian did it frequently, as he did with anyone who didn’t agree with him. It as one of the ‘little things’ that Ron used to justify breaking up, even though the major reason of possessiveness was more than enough for him.



“Ron, come on. Mother and father are waiting for us. I thought we might have lunch.” He stood and reached out but Ron evaded his hand.



“Did you tell your mother I was coming?” Ron asked, knowing that his mother understood more than he did.



“I told her I was coming to get you, she seemed a little surprised. If you had returned my owl, I could have told her what time you were going to show up.” He stood with both hands in his pockets.



“I told your mother we spilt up.” Ron’s expression-less face drained the smile from Dorian’s.



“You told her that?” Ron nodded. “Why would you tell her that?”



“Because it’s true.” Ron said simply.



“No, it’s not!” Dorian shouted.



“Is there a problem here?” Both men looked over to Harry Potter who stood at the door to the studio, a brown bag in his hand. His wand was suddenly in the other.



“I’ve asked Dorian here to leave, but he refused. The aurors don’t like that do they?” Ron asked with a smile.



“No, they don’t.” Harry set the bag in a nearby table, and held the door open for Dorian. His wand still at the ready.



Dorian was not stupid enough to risk auror arrest. “I’ll talk to you later Ron.” He said before moving to the door.



“No you won’t.” Dorian opened his mouth to speak, but Ron was quicker. “I’m saying this in front of a licensed auror. Do not owl me, come to visit or follow me anywhere. Leave me alone. I mean it. Now that I have said it in front of Harry, if you do any of these things, it’s considered harassment. It wasn’t before, but now it’s on record. Stay away from me Dorian.”



“Lets go.” Harry’s firm voice silenced any reply Dorian could have made. He walked Dorian out of the house through the studio entrance and stopped him after shutting the door. “I know you don’t like me Dorian, but I really don’t care. I have seen you take advantage of Ron for too long and now he knows it.”



“I never took advantage if him. I love him.” Dorian was growing red in the face.



“When it becomes obsession, love factors in very little. You wanted him to shadow you. He couldn’t have a life, friends and even his art suffered. You wanted him dependent on you and he wanted freedom.” Harry spoke calmly, seeing Dorian grow more and more angry. “You messed up, and there are no second chances. You can’t give Ron what he needs, and he doesn’t want to give you what you have to have.”



“You have no idea what I need or what he needs.” Dorian’s fists were clenched. He had always hated how close Ron and Harry were. To him Harry was an obstacle. Hermione was as well, but he never really considered her a threat. Harry was another man, and even though Ron said many times that he never felt anything other than brotherly love for Harry, he was still convinced that the Ron’s closest friend was a danger to him.



“I know what Ron needs, and he needs a partner who supports him, not one who suffocates him. Ron is my best friend. He always has been. You never understood that. You always assumed it was more, and because of that you made Ron suffer for it.” Harry let out a sigh, almost in pity. “Ron is correct about something. Now that he has told you to leave him alone in the presence of an auror, anything you do from here on out is considered an act of harassment. I won’t go into what will happen if you violate my home again, because I live here too, but what just happened, occurred in Ron’s studio and therefore on his property. If you take such actions to be considered harassment you will be taken into ministry custody and will have to answer before the Wizengamut to explain your actions. It would then be up to the Wizengamut to determine if you are guilty of the harassment you are accused of and to determine a just punishment if it is warranted. At any time during these proceedings you may request the presence of legal counsel and it will be provided should you not be able to obtain it on your own. Do you understand the information I have given you?”



Dorian gave a quick nod. The monotone voice that took over Harry made it clear that he was passing off official Ministry of Magic citations and he had been officially informed of this. “Yes, I understand.”



“Good, then leave the premises and do not return.” Harry walked back into the studio and shut the door. He stayed, watching through the peephole until the other man vanished with a loud crack of apparition.



Ron had a table set and was removing the take away boxes from the bag. He must have went to the kitchen at one point because two chilled bottles were open and ready. “What did he say?” Ron asked.



Harry took his seat and opened his own box. “That he loves you.”



“He always says that, like it’s the final word in anything.” Ron tucked in, letting Harry begin his own meal. “He hadn’t even told his mother. She thought we just had an argument.”



“It figures,” Harry paused to take a drink, “document anything from here on out. If he shows up at a friends, or where you normally go to sketch, no matter how insignificant or random it may seem. Since I just gave him the information about harassment, it may become necessary to prove it.”



“Alright.” Ron nodded, then his face fell slightly. “I really do wish it could have worked.”



“I know Ron,” Harry really did understand him. Ron was elated when he first met Dorian, and deeply in love. It wasn’t until Dorian became overly demanding that Ron became troubled, “but it’s for the best. You need a real man, not him.”



Ron chuckled. “A real man huh? And what might that be?” Harry made a face. “Come on, I’m interested to know what a heterosexual man thinks is a real man.”



Harry pretended to look shocked. “What did you call me?” Together they laughed. “Heterosexual I may be but it’s all the same when you think about it. What does anyone need from a partner?”



Ron thought for a moment. “Someone who understands devotion to my art first and foremost.” Harry nodded. “He has to know that just because I don’t look at him or speak to him for hours doesn’t me I am ignoring him. I get lost in a painting sometimes. It’s how I earn my living but it’s also important to me because it’s something I created.”



“Right.” Harry made an invisible check mark in the air. “Someone who understands your career. He should also have a career of his own, and have his shit together.”



“Agreed,” Ron said, “although Dorian had his career and look at that.”



“That’s different,” Harry explained, “Dorian is joining his family’s business, already established and doing very well by the time he was old enough to contribute. I mean someone who has made his own career happen, like you, like me, like Hermione. Not someone who is just going to take over.”



“You don’t think it counts?” Ron was a little stunned.



“Oh no, it counts, believe me. Taking over a success and making sure it stays a success is stress enough, and just as much a hard job as anything. But you aren’t taking over, so he doesn’t understand that. Dorian assumed that since you do nothing but draw, that you could do it anywhere. Since you don’t do what he does he doesn’t understand that. You need a man who isn’t involved in family business, you need someone who has done what you’ve done. Taken a talent and made it work for you.”



Ron fell silent. “I never thought about it that way.” Harry nodded. It made sense. Dorian had joined a business and had the savvy to make it even more successful, but Ron was entering a field, and doing it on his own with nothing but his own creativity. It made perfect sense that Dorian wouldn’t understand. To him, what Ron did was a hobby, and he often dismissed it.



“You also need a man who doesn’t lose his temper.” Harry said with a grin.



“Oh really?” Ron couldn’t help but smile now.



“Yes, you get emotional sometimes, so a man who can remain calm, listen and speak with patience is what you need.” Harry, glared at him, daring him to challenge what was just said.



Rom could only grin. He knew Harry was right. Two emotional people only made a fight worse. Ron had learned to speak his mind with more control, thinking first, but that came with maturity. He wasn’t the boy at Hogwarts anymore, but he was still passionate in his feelings, and it showed at times. A man with patience and control could teach him a lot. “Fair enough then.”



“Alright. What else? Someone who isn’t jealous maybe?” Harry stared up at the ceiling.



“Definitely a plus. Dorian flew off the handle so many times it was unbelievable.” Ron took another bite. “He has to be alright with my friends.”



“He has to have his own interests,” Harry added. “and he has to be willing to take part in yours.”



“I agree.” Ron took another bite. He also knew that Harry again spoke of Dorian. He was never willing to attend a quidditch match with him, because he didn’t like the sport. He also made Ron feel guilty about going instead of staying with him. Dorian also had practically no hobbies aside from sex. As long as Ron was with him, there was no need to go anywhere or do anything.



“He also has to be forgiving.” Ron said, again thinking of his ex. Dorian was slow to forgive anything, and always brought up mistakes when they didn’t matter. Ron’s face fell slightly. The fact that he always had to watch his actions was a sad factor in their relationship and one that he didn’t like at all. It made him realize that they weren’t right for each other and it wasn’t a healthy situation to be in.



Harry picked up on his mood and immediately jumped in. The last thing he wanted to do was get Ron depressed. “Ok, so we have the basics. Now the physical.”



Ron grinned. “Physical?”



“Yes. Taller or shorter than yourself?” Harry asked.



Ron thought for a moment, deciding to have fun with this little game his friend had started. “Taller, I think.”



“I’m not surprised.” Harry said with a cough.



“Shut it.” He gave the auror’s chair a kick.



“Blonde, brunette or ginger?” Harry asked.



“Dark hair, defiantly, but the color doesn’t matter.” Ron answered. His smile let Ron know that although Dorian had dark brown hair, he wasn’t thinking of him.



“Eyes, and if you say green, I’m out of here lightning quick.” He joked.



Ron laughed out loud as Harry’s own green eyes flashed with mock dramatic anger. “Dark eyes,” he managed to get out.



“Ok. Strong and muscular, lean and mean, soft and fluffy?” Harry ventured.



“Soft and fluffy?” Ron joked, laughing at Harry’s seriousness. “I never really look at that actually. I don’t want a big man, but I think overly muscular is too much.”



“So lean, then?”



“I don’t know. Average I suppose, neither one way or the other.” It was the most Ron could say to describe what he found attractive. “I suppose if he was a fabulous man, his build would be alright no matter what. I pay more attention to faces then I do bodies, so it’s not a big deal to me.”



Harry nodded, taking another drink. “Good, appearance?”



“What do you mean?” Ron asked confused.



“Someone who dresses all out wizard or more mugglish?”



“Oh. Well as long as clothes fit, I don’t care either way. I don’t look at clothes really, but I don’t like the huge baggy look or the skin tight trouser look.”



“Older or younger?” Harry pressed on.



“Older, definitely older, even if only by a few years.”



“Very good, very good,” Harry said between bites, “cologne or au natural?”



“Oh.” Ron smiled and thought for a moment. This little game was becoming fun, and that was Harry’s objective from the beginning. “I don’t want someone who marinates in a scent,” Harry chuckled and took another bite, “but a nice subtle fragrance is alright.”



“Especially if you have to get close to smell it right?” Harry said, wiggling his eyebrows.



“You got that from Hermione.” Ron said, taking a drink himself.



“Yes sir, I did,” Harry told him without shame. “ok, what’s next. Expression, voice, style?”



“Expression? Well, I guess making your feelings known all the time is overdoing it, but I need honesty,” Harry nodded, “and as far as style goes, I don’t want anyone who acts as if they are better than others. I hate arrogance,” again Harry nodded, “and voice, well I don’t know. I guess a manly voice. Deep and confident.”



“Confident. Right,” Harry pushed away his empty box. “that brings us to habit. You want confidence in everything?”



“Yes.” Ron fished his own lunch quickly, letting Harry gather the remains and dispose of them, “someone who doesn’t need to be complimented all the time. Not that I don’t mind complimenting or getting compliments myself, but when it’s needed, that’s when it gets to be an issue.”



“I agree,” Harry added, “no addictions right.”



“Right. No alcohol or muggle-creations problems.” Ron said, still unable to believe some of the things Hermione told him muggles can brew up.



“I’m assuming you also want to avoid control issues?” Harry asked.



“How did you guess mate?” Ron took another drink.



“Ok, now we get down to business.” Harry leaned in his arms.



“Sex?” Ron asked, laughing as his friend gave him a sinister nod. “What do I want sexually?” Again Harry gave him the same nod. Ron thought carefully. “I suppose someone who’s giving.”



“Giving?”



“Someone who doesn’t expect me to do things to him, and not expect anything to be reciprocated.”



“Anyone wants that.”



“True, but also someone who enjoys me and my own body. I guess I want someone who appreciates what I’m willing to do rather than just assuming that I want to do it.”



“Meaning?” Ron knew Harry was still merely curious.



“I mean that enjoying my body because he’s gay is one thing and in most cases when things are casual, that’s a turn on.”



“I agree. People like to be found physically attractive.” Harry said.



“But when someone wants to be with me because he is attracted to Ron and not just gingers, or young men, or he has a thing for artists is something else. Someone who wants Ron will be appreciative of what I do and what I’m willing to have done to me.”



“Alright, so someone who is willing to share something will you and not just give you a rogering.” Ron laughed again at Harry’s blunt phrasing.



“Yes I suppose, although a good rogering is appreciated too.” Harry looked away and made a face. Ron always enjoyed making him visualize things.



“So moving right along, gentle or rough?”



“Both.”



“Simple or creative?”



“Depends on the mood, I guess.”



“Toys?”



“I’m open to it, but would like to be respected.”



Harry thought for a moment then blurted out, “In other words if you are not up for the manufactured fist then you would like him to understand this.” Ron erupted in laughter.



“Manufactured fist?” Ron could barely speak.



“Isn’t that a correct description?” Harry’s laughter joined his.



“I’m not really into fisting, thank you.”



“Ok, so you need a man who doesn’t care about fisting.”



“How did this bloody conversation start?” Ron said after he calmed down from laughing so hard, his face now bright red.



“I don’t know. Top or bottom?” Harry asked, taking a drink.



“Either, but I prefer a man in control. I’m still insecure about a lot of things so a man who knows what he’s doing and has more experience is more attractive to me.” Ron admitted.



“Ok so all we need to do is find you someone tall, who has dark hair, dark eyes, not overly muscular but who hasn’t let himself go, who’s older than you. Someone who is already established in his own career and has no uncontrollable vices or addictions. Someone who has his own friends but is more than willing to accept yours and the time you spend with them. Someone who has his own interests but again is more than willing accept yours. Someone who isn’t controlling, and isn’t jealous, who has patience and can control his emotions but not hide from them. Someone who is generous and caring in the bedroom, but who is confident, can have fun and experiment too. A nice voice and hint of cologne wouldn’t be bad either right?”



“I guess that about does it.” Ron said. As he took a drink a thought formed in his head and he spit out fluid all over his studio floor. Harry had it cleaned up with a wave of his wand as Ron controlled his breathing.



“Ron, are you alright, what’s the matter.” He asked slapping his friend on the back.



“Harry, you just described Professor Snape!”