Potions in the Moonlight

Another afternoon of having his ear talked off about quiddich and nonsense, Remus finally had some time to himself. He dipped a recently healed hand into his pocket. The smoothness of Snape’s wand felt cool and comforting in his hand. In his sadness, Severus had left his wand on the floor of the potions cupboard.

He guessed that after Sirius’s confrontation in the corridor, Severus would want to forgo his own common room for the peace of the library. It would be quiet this time of the evening. Many student had gone home for the holidays and the others were probably discussing the match.

Severus sat quietly at the back of the library writing furiously in his Advanced Potions text book.

Rounding the corner at the back Remus spied the boy he was looking for. Before his nerves could take hold he strode over to the table and perched on the table next to him. Hoping he’d had enough time to… calm down.

Severus ignored him as he continued writing.

“Severus.”

It wasn’t a question. His voice was warm and reassuring.

"Hmm?" He asked stopping the quill and reading what was on the page.

A hand was placed on his back.

“I have something for you…”

"If it's my wand put it on the table and go away." He said. He refused to look at him.

“It isn’t your wand…” he moved his hand to touch the Slytherin’s pale face, a tiny break in his voice.

"What do you want?" Severus asked turning his chair so that he wasn't facing the desk an batted his hand away.

Without a word Remus dipped his head and laid a soft, chaste kiss on Severus’ lips.

Severus pushed him away from him and glared at him as if he had grown another head. He looked Remus up and down as if trying to find out if it was really him or not. If it was some kind of trick.

Undeterred, by the rebuff, Remus touched his face again and kissed him. This time harder, more insistent more urgent.

Severus froze and didn't respond to the kiss but didn't push him away. He was still waiting for the joke, the punchline.

Remus pushed a scarred hand through Snape’s long hair, silently pleading with him in a kiss. Pleading for a little understanding. A kink in the armour.

It took a few more seconds but he eventually confusedly responded to the kiss.

This earned him an appreciative whine as Remus smiled into the kiss, pushing him gently back against the chair. It was a kiss he had done nothing but think about since leaving the Potions cupboard. Through all the common room talk, James and Sirius arguing the best goal; every second of it all the teenage lycan could focus on was what had occurred downstairs. He had lost his virginity to a boy who claimed to hate him, all the while he begged for more on his hands and knees. If his father could see him now…

Severus moaned into the kiss and paused realizing that even though they where behind a few large book shelves that Madam Pince would still be able to hear them.

Remus knew that with his weapon back in his hands, Severus could petrify him in an instant and dump him in the restricted section to rot. But Remus wanted to show that this wasn’t meant to be blackmail, or extortion or anything.

Without breaking the kiss, he pulled out the wand he had cherished for all of a few hours and placed it in Severus’s open hand.

Severus broke the kiss and looked down at the wand now held in his hand. He looked back up at Remus confused. "You'd trust me?" He asked.

There was no suspicion in the younger boy’s face, only a youthful blush masking his unnatural paleness. His smile spoke volumes.

“I wanted to return it to you.”

He stared at it a moment. "Thanks." He said simply.

Remus beamed. He could feel a bubble of happiness in him that such a simple word had created. He ran an awkward hand through his unkempt hair and said,

“You know… you’re welcome. I wouldn’t keep it from you. ”

They sat there again in an awkward silence same as the night before. Remus swung his legs off of the desk, smiling at his shoes.

"So...?" he asked, not daring to look at Severus for fear of what his expression would tell.

Snape raised an eyebrow waiting for Remus to continue. He pocketed his wand and closed his Advanced Potions textbook. He was sure it had been long enough for the ink he had put in the margins to dry. Or maybe it just felt long enough.... either way he had closed it not really caring at the moment. He didn't want Remus to see his text book. No doubt would go ratting him out for damaging school property.

Remus smiled at him.

"Do I make you uncomfortable, Severus?"

"Only you and your lot would be so egotistical to think that your mere presence would have the ability to make me uncomfortable." He sneered.

Remus rose from his seat and brushed his warm fingers over the strands of dark hair that had strayed to the older boy's forehead. His voice was soft and unaccusing.

"You don't have to be defensive, Severus."

"I've had to be defensive around everyone my whole life, what makes you think I'm going to let my guard down around you?" He asked.

The hurt puppy look; Remus occupied the chair next to Snape. His smile was genuine as he reached out to take Severus's hand.

"What is it you want Lupin?"

"A smile would be nice..."

"I don't... smile.... Lupin. I have no cause for such an unnecessary reaction."

His hand was squeezed by the young werewolf, who met his eyes with a sweet smile.

"You don't have to smile Severus... you don't have to smile, or laugh, or even trust me... Just let me... stay a while."

"I frankly don't care what you do." He said turning back to his book again.

"I think you do..." he danced his fingers over the older boy's slim shoulders.

"And why is that?" He asked.

Remus didn't reply, he was fascinated by the curve of Severus's neck as is disappeared under his collar. The skin was so perfect and pale... he touched the curve with a sigh.

Severus stiffened as he felt Remus's hands on his neck not knowing how to react.

"I don't care what you say... I think you're beautiful."

Severus flinched away from him. "What is wrong with you?"

"Will you please be quiet back there." Severus groaned at the sound of the librarian.

Remus withdrew his hand as if it had been burned. He sounded hurt. Not caring if she heard.

"Wrong?"

"Don't repeat me you know what I said."

"I didn't have a problem hearing you, I just wanted to know what you meant."

"What I meant was two days ago you couldn't even look at me... now all of a sudden cause of what happened last night we're what? Friends? Lovers?" Severus scoffed.

Remus huddled down in his chair, thunder rumbled in the grounds beyond the leaded windows.

"I never mentioned love... I just... never saw you this way before."

Severus put down his pen and closed his eyes. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he appeared completely exasperated. "I never said anything about love.... I meant..." Severus groaned again. He looked up at Remus. "And what do you mean by 'this way'?"

There was that blushy, puppy smile again.

"I... I mean like... uhh..." he stammered. His fingers moved up again to linger upon those slim shoulders and pale neck. In the dark recesses of his mind he wanted to taste his beautiful skin.

"Like?" Severus asked ignoring Remus' wandering hand.

The blush deepened.

"Like... I know what's under these robes..."

Severus scoffed and knocked his hand away again.

"No you don't. No one does." He said simply.

Remus blinked and licked his lips,

"You know the things you say... can be hurtful."

"Why? Cause you think you understand me? Think you know what I am? You don't!" Severus cringed again as the librarians voice called out again for them to be quiet.

"I don't pretend to understand you. I just ... want to be near you."

"Which brings us back to my original question that you have been avoiding this whole time. Why? What has changed?"

"I... don't know, it just feels different... to me."

"Is there a point to this conversation?" Severus asked.

Remus rose from his chair and put his hands in his pockets, withdrawing from the desk.

"I just wanted to come and see you... to see how you were..."

"I'm fine." Severus said holding back his usual retorts. At least Remus thought it was a step forward.

He smiled weakly, extending another desperate hand to touch his cool skin. It was soothing, feeling the subtle heartbeat in his throat. Severus always seemed unhappy, and he just wanted to take away some of that. It felt good being close to him like this.

Severus froze almost like he was too scared to move. Like he didn't want Remus to leave and if he did move then Remus would realize what he was doing an leave.

Dipping his head almost entirely on instinct, Remus laid a soft kiss on Severus's tense neck.

"Why?" Severus asked though his voice broke and it was little more than a squeak.

The kiss became a nuzzle and Remus growled in a gentle, protective way.

"Because you need this..."

Severus didn't relax as Remus moved forward but didn't push him away. Severus felt.... confused... conflicted.

A strong warm hand was slipped beneath Snape's collar, and Remus sighed, his warm breath flooding against his cool skin.

"Please..." he whispered. "Tell me what you need."

Snape shivered and pulled his hand away from his collar. "Please.... don't." He said half-heartedly.

Remus knelt beside Severus's chair, his big brown eyes full of emotion. Not a trace of restraint or secrecy.

"Don't you want me?"

"I-.... It doesn't matter what I want." Severus said not looking at Remus.

He took the older boy's hand, not taking his eyes off that pale, strained face.

"It only matters what you want."

Severus' breathing picked up as he looked everywhere but at him. Remus actually feared the poor boy would actually start hyperventilating if he kept it up.

He tried not to go to fast, it was so hard to know what he wanted. With anyone else it would feel ridiculous kneeling in the library gazing at him with sad puppy eyes.

"Do you want me to leave? I could go back to the common room, finish some essays and pretend this never happened..."

He prayed the answer was no.

Severus looked at Remus finally. Remus could see the confusion on his face. See the inner working of his mind. Remus knew Severus had been hurt before and didn't want to be again, just from that look.

Severus said something, a simple word. But it was so quiet not even Remus could hear it.

The younger boy brought the slender hand up to his face. The last thing he wanted to do was press an answer he didn't want to give.

"I'm sorry?"

"No." He said a bit louder.

Breaking out in his infectious smile of pure relief, Remus kissed at the long trembling fingers.

"It's alright," he whispered. "It's alright."

Severus fidgeted in his seat looking around as if waiting for the punchline once again. Waiting for James and Sirius to come out of hiding saying this was all just some stupid joke and that the whole school knew what kind of loser he was. Probably call him an attention whore or something along those lines.

Tears splashed onto Snape's tightly clasped hands...

Now Severus was really confused. "Why are you crying?" He asked.

"I've been feeling like hell...... and I just want you to be happy, but it's like you still think I'm playing some game with you..."

"Everybody's playing some game with me." Severus muttered under his breath though he was sure Remus heard him.

Remus looked away from him, still softly teasing his fingers.

"How can I help you believe that I'm not...?"

Severus didn't know what to say to that. "What is it you want Remus? From me?"

"Nothing... I can't take anything from you because I don't deserve it."

Severus sighed. "Let me rephrase that." He said clearing his throat quickly. "What do you expect to come of this?"

A hand was laid on his thigh, non intrusive but reassuring. All he could do was shake his head.

"I... don't know... I wish I did... I just do what feels right... and this feels right."

"And what is.... 'this'?" He asked. "Precisely?"

"Being close to you. Trying to make you feel happy."

His hand slipped against the stiff fabric under his robes.

"I don't even know what happy is..." Severus said before realizing he had said it, and who he had said it to.

"Please, let me help you..." his hands were at the waistband. He wasn't even thinking about what he was doing, or if he could stop...

Severus shifted uncomfortably but he could feel himself swell as Remus' fingers played with the button of his trousers.

Remus closed his eyes, his hands making light work of the zip. He didn't know if Severus would hate him for doing this again. But kneeling at the older boy's feet, at the back of the library... was this madness?

Anyone could walk in on them at any time. Remus looked up at Severus and... didn't care.

The waistband bunched awkwardly at Severus's waist. But Remus paid it little attention, his hands were already below, caressing the heated flesh that had been on his mind for hours now.

Madame Pince could show up, and student could just walk past. He wasn't sure if they would get into trouble, but any Gryffindor who saw them would disown him forever. And he didn't care. He wasn't afraid at all, just excited.

Severus seemed to relax a bit as Remus took a hold of him. He shifted slightly moving down in his chair.

It was easier than he thought, touching Severus like this. It seemed to come naturally, nothing felt awkward or forced. He pulled him out into the warm library air and gave an experimental rub. His cheeks blushed as he shot a shy smile at the older boy's face.

Even though the library light was dim he could see a lot better than when they where in the potions store. Severus seemed bigger than he had before, his cock pale but about as pink as the light blush on his face.

Remus's desire was always to taste rather than just touch. With a serene smile he lent forward to lap along the top and the head. He reveled in the sharp taste, it was exactly as Severus should taste.

Severus took a sharp intake of breath not expecting the sudden feeling.

A shudder passed all down the kneeling boy as he took some of the length into his mouth. Each wave of taste and sound made him more and more determined to make Severus happy.

Severus bit his lip trying not to moan out loud in fear that someone would hear. He heard the library door open and heard a few students walk in. He froze and listened. The group sat down on the other side of the shelf, though thankfully they couldn't see them.

Remus knew they couldn't be long. He bobbed his head, speeding up rhythmically and pressing his rough fingers into Severus's sides.

Severus could hear the blood rushing through his ears as he braced his elbows on the arm rests. He lifted his hips thrusting into Remus' mouth knowing that the longer he lasted the higher the chances of getting caught.

It was hard to accept so much of him at once, but Remus was determined to finish the older boy off before anyone discovered them. He knew that if anyone found out about this then Severus would never so much as look at him again, let alone allow him this close.

Severus felt himself hit the back of Remus' throat and prayed that the boy didn't choke on him. At least audibly. The vibrations of his throat and the feeling of him clenching around his cock while he gagged on his shaft would feel amazing, but they just couldn't risk it at the moment.

The reaction was inevitable, but Remus didn't make a sound. Every gag or choke he translated into a hard swallow. He grasped blindly for Severus's hand, he wanted to feel something other than his slim thighs and bony hips.

Severus ran his fingers through Remus' hair to the back of his head as he moved over him. Severus swallowed a moan and bit his bottom hip.

"I'm cumming." He said quietly so that only Remus could hear. He moaned quietly biting his tongue as he did as as he came into Remus's mouth in long spurts.

It was hard for him not to moan as he fought hard to gulp it all down. Everything felt too loud, his breathing was loud, the sound of his swallowing, his trembling knees on the bare wooden floor.

Remus slumped back, his head resting against his vacant chair, incapable of speech.

A little bit of cum fell onto his shirt as his cock fell against his stomach twitching as it emptied the rest onto him.

"Perfect." Severus said sarcastically though quietly.

Smiling in his own personal afterglow, Remus reached into his pocket and waved away the mess.

"Sorry..."

Severus heard foot steps coming towards them and quickly tucked himself back into his pants. He sat up straight and kicked Remus' leg for him to do the same.

Remus hauled himself into the empty chair pulling one of Snape's forgotten books in front of him.

Severus grabbed his Advanced Potions textbook back and grabbed one off the shelf. He threw it in front of Remus moments before the librarian came around the corner. She eyed the two suspiciously as the read their books.

"Is that a particularly good book Mr. Lupin?" She asked.

Remus shrugged, trying to channel any of his friends' nonchalance and calm.

"It's alright..."

"Perhaps it would be more.... enjoyable.... if you turned it the right side up." She said. Severus looked over and choked on a giggle making it sound more like a scoff as he realized that Remus had his book upside down.

He hid his blush as best as he could and flipped the book.

"You're right... Maybe I'll enjoy it more now?"

Madame Pince shook her head as she grabbed a book off the shelf near by and placed another in another spot. She turned to leave before pausing and looking at Remus.

"Oh and... Mr. Lupin..." Remus looked up at her as she brushed her finger by her mouth signaling he had something on his face. His eyes widened in shock realizing that he had cleaned up Severus but not himself.

He stiffened and wiped a sleeve over his face. Muttering his thanks his buried his face in his book.

Pince sneered at the two before walking away. Severus quietly giggling to himself.

Remus shot a glare at him and then laughed.

“She already thought I was a bit odd… you could have warned me!”

"I didn't see it." Severus said. "Besides I doubt saying 'You have cum on your face' loud enough to get through your panic was very smart"

Despite still being utterly flushed, Remus couldn't help but grin. So what if Madame Pince suspected something was up, it didn't care what she thought. But they should probably not do it in the library any more.

"There's always my room..." he said, after a thoughtful pause. "Instead of here."

"Too dangerous." Severus said as he picked up his pen and began writing in his text book. His hair touched the book he was so close to it as he wrote. "Come to the Slytherin common rooms. The only ones left here for the holidays are me and Velana and Gertrude. But their girls and in the girls dorms."

Remus looked at him, stunned in his seat, he almost forgot to keep his voice down.

"Are you sure? Would that be ok with you?"

Severus jumped and raised an eyebrow. "Um... yeah... I guess." Severus said feeling suddenly awkward.

The younger boy reached over and tenderly took his hand.

"Only if you don't mind, Severus. I don't want to put you at risk."

"It'll be fine." He said gently pulling his hand away. "I better get going though I have a paper to finish before the holiday ends." Severus ducked his head and without looking back at Remus made a quick get away.

Remus slotted his book back on the shelf with a sigh. He wondered if Severus would bottle out and try to forget this ever happened. Maybe this would be the last time they spoke as anything other than sworn enemies.

He left their corner, hurriedly nodded to Madame Pince and made his way back to the common room.