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I stand here watching you walk away from our home. I don’t understand why they had to call you back; you said they had given you a vacation… I’ve missed you so much these two years, and now I don’t know when I will be able to see you again. My cheeks are wet and my vision is blurry. I see you turn around, but I can’t really see you. I feel so cold. You apparate and I know I won’t get to see you in a while. I crawl into the cold bed, wishing you were there besides me, but only the lingering smell of you is left. I lie under the covers shaking, desperately hoping that the pain inside will go away.
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When I heard the knock on my door yesterday evening I was about to curl up in front of the fire to write a letter to you. But when I got to see who it was, writing a letter was as far from my mind as possible. All I could think of was for how long I would have you home and how tired you looked. Three months. That’s how long you said you would be home. You lied! You weren’t home for 24 hours before you left me again!
I couldn’t stay there to hear you excuses I had to leave. I couldn’t watch you pack your things and leave me once again.
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I think back to the day of graduation, two years ago. We had been together for two years and we were both so happy, thinking of the life we would have together. I guess… I guess neither of us thought that you would have to join the army so soon… But they were just about waiting for you with a uniform outside Hogwarts’ gates, so eager to have their “Golden boy” fighting for the wizarding army. You are definitely not a boy anymore now though. That you proved several times last night. Your hands were rough, callused but gentle and I loved them as they carefully stroked my heated skin. Your body had scars, some looked horribly painful, but they didn’t really matter. Only you and I, in that moment, mattered.
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Flashback
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I woke the next afternoon and I felt your arms surrounding me, holding me tight. I smiled and snuggled closer, wishing that my bladder didn’t have to be so full. The clock shows 4.30 pm and I carefully entangle me from your arms and walk across the floor to the bathroom door. One last look at you lying in my bed before closing the door, showed you trying to find my body again and failing. “Baby?” Your drowsy voice makes me smile as I close the door. I wash up quickly and hurry back into the bedroom. Two arms circle around my waist pressing my back into a naked chest. “Baby… you weren’t there when I woke up. I had a little surprise for you.” You purr in my ear and I smile and tilt my head, giving you room to nuzzle that special spot on my neck. I can “feel” you surprise. “I needed the loo… and I’m hungry, aren’t you?” I turn and smile teasingly as I press closer to his arousal. “I’m hungry, though not for food…” You kiss me and I laugh. “You are insatiable, Harry.” I push at your chest and you loosen your arms enough for me to dance away. “Breakfast or rather “dinner”, will be ready in twenty minutes.” “Draco… you are a tease.” You growl, but I am already out the door and on my way downstairs. I think I want waffles. I haven’t made that in a long time; I know it is one of your favorites…

I hear you come in behind me and I turn halfway and smile at you. I’m so happy that you are going to be home for three (three!) months! “Mm… waffles. They sure smell good, but I would rather taste you.” Your arms circle my waist again and I want you to kiss me. “I love you, so much. I’ve missed this, missed you.” You sigh and there is suddenly a knock on the front door. “I’ll open it.” You walk into the hallway in you boxers and I wonder who it might be who comes knocking on our door now.

“Major Potter, you have been called back from your leave. You are to report back to base tonight at eighteen hundred hours.” I hear a man say and I feel faint. What? But he said… he promised me. I walk into the hallway too. “Harry?” You look so lost, like you don’t know what to do. “I… I don’t understand. They said I could have a vacation…” You look around you. “Draco… what time is it?” You ask. “What time is it!?” you almost yell at me. I turn to look at the clock in the kitchen. You look at me with that look in your eyes and I smile sadly as my heart breaks. “Draco… I…” Don’t do this Harry. I can’t do this right now. “The clock is 5.00 pm.” Only an hour left. One hour to say goodbye. You close your eyes and swallow. “Draco, I can’t…” You start, but I stop you. “I know, Harry. Just remember to write to me.” I turn and walk back into the kitchen again. “Draco!” I hear you cry behind me. All of a sudden my heart is numb. “Please, they promised me this vacation. I can’t believe they are calling me back! I’m so sorry!” you try to take me into your arms again, but suddenly my heart isn’t numb anymore and it hurts. So much. “It does not matter, Harry. You have to leave. So please just do!” I can’t stand there and watch him pack up his things and walk away. I can feel your eyes in my back, but you don’t say anything. I walk into our… my bedroom and over to the window. I watch you walk out the garden gate. Tears are rolling down my cheeks, but I don’t stop them. My eyes are blurry but I can see you looking back at our home, at me. Then you apparate away and I don’t know if I will ever get to see you again.
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I lie underneath the covers. My eyes are sore. I feel empty. I watch the hours ticking away. I can’t seem to close my eyes and sleep. I feel cold, even under the covers so I push them off. I wish he didn’t have to go back again, I wish he didn’t have to leave. I look at the clock again, 10.00 pm, 26 hours since you showed up on my doorstep, since you made love to me for the first time in two years. I roll over onto my back and suddenly a pale blue light emits from my stomach. What? I can’t be… I’m pregnant. I don’t know what to feel, what to do. The blue light tells me it is a boy, and I desperately hope that his father will return safely to us. I feel tears well up in my eyes again. Merlin, please let harry return safely to me… to us… please.


This war… it tears families and lovers apart. And those who have to watch their loved ones walk away, maybe to never return will always remember the pain inside. Always remember the desperate wish that their loved ones will return safe and whole.