Guilt

I'll never forget, nor will I ever forget you. But somethings are better off forgotten


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Forget

She found Ginny painting her toenails in her bedroom, wearing a green summer dress that complemented her hair. Ginny had always had a flair for fashion that Hermione could not find no matter how hard she tried. The redhead broke off her humming when she heard Hermione pop in.

"Hi!" she wriggled her toes and Hermione laughed.

"You always make me feel so dumpy," she said sitting down on the bed.

Ginny appraised her sweater and jeans. "Well I did offer to go on that shopping spree through-"

"-which I did not want" She remembered begging for mercy after Ginny spent two hours looking for the perfect bedspread. What difference did it make if it was Egyptian cotton or English?

But she often wished she could find joy in picking out clothes and doing her hair. It was always a nuisance to her, a routine chore. Getting ready was ten times easier using her wand to beckon random clothes.

"I always thought that couples let go of themselves after marriage"

Ginny contemplated that for a second. "Well..I suppose I try harder because all Harry ever saw on me was those ugly defense robes during the War," she wrinkled her nose in disgust. "And now that we can have sex, it's much more fun having him taking lacy little things off"

"Ginny!" Hermione admonished. They lapsed into giggles. The youngest Weasley had not an ounce of innocence in her body.

Hermione shook her head amusedly and frowned. "What do you mean now that you can have sex?"

"Oh well," she leaned in conspiratorilly. "Harry insisted that we--wait"

"He did?" Hermione's eyes widened with surprise, a pleasant one.

"I was furious at first" Undoubtedly. "It seemed like he was rejecting me. But then he said that he wanted to wait because our relationship was not a purely physical one. And that one day, when he could be sure that he knew all of me and that he could offer a future, then he would make love to me"

To Hermione's surprise, Ginny actually crimsoned. A small smile played on her lips, tilting it up at the memory.

"Did it work?"

Ginny nodded. "It had a huge impact on our relationship, the wait. Without all those nights spent talking about family, career and other inane things, I might not have known him as well.

"It doesn't take long to understand a person's body. But emotions are not as tangible"

Ginny laughed brightly, the conversation taking too serious of a turn for her liking. Hermione sat up straighter and laughed too, but it came out as just a breath.

Just a breath.

Touch.

That was the only way she had known Draco. Meaningless, no strings attached sex.

The familiar unease rose in her belly at the memory. While Ginny and Harry had waited to make love, she had jumped right into sex with someone she had loathed for most of her life.

But the hardest fact to accept was that along with the nauseousness came a feverish heat that overwhelmed all else.

"Apple?" Ginny offered. Hermione stared at it tentatively.


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"Apple?"
Hermione lifted her head to look at Draco who was holding out the fruit. She eyed it for a few seconds.

"Don't worry. The poison won't kick in for a few hours"

She scowled at him, but graciously took it. Until the first bite, she hadn't realized how long she had gone without food. It seemed as if she had been running on adrenaline than actual energy for the past week.

He remained in his lax state, munching on the fruit. For a second she thought that she might be delusional. Here was Draco Malfoy-sharing a dingy room with her and offering her food-without a smirk or scowl on his face.

On the other hand, Hermione's expression was as pensive as usual. Her mind was constantly running, analyzing a million thoughts. Right now, she was trying to determine if she was, perhaps dreaming.

"Is anyone alive?"

She looked up at him. His grey eyes had narrowed into cool focus. The awareness that her robes were hanging in tatters swept over her.

Tugging at the sides, she asked "Who? Ours or Yours?"

His eyebrow lifted at the distinction. "Either"

"There must be. If we did, others must have too. Maybe Harry or Ron.." she drifted off, worries afresh.

"Yes. The Golden Trio must survive; they're the best after all"

The sarcasm barely stung her. Instead, it gave her hope. They had escaped so much evil. What more could a horde of Death Eaters do?

"My father is dead. I heard my mother committed suicide." The wry smile would have come off as more pitiful if he hadn't delivered the news with an eery calm. It was the way she had stepped over the male corpse a few hours ago, emotionless.

Unsure as to what to say, she settled for "Sorry"

Draco turned that same smile toward her, now with a familiar smirk. He knew she was as sorry for the Malfoys' deaths as she was for Voldemort's. So he simply ignored it.

"I'm not ready to go out there are you?"

She looked fearful for a moment and slightly guilty. Her mind was still reeling from the images of death forever pressed into her memory. But what kind of friend was she to abandon Ron and Harry?

"Besides, we're no good to anyone in this state," he said softly. Almost as if he read her mind.

So she believed him, because she needed to. For once, she let her body reign over her conscience.

"Any ideas as to how we pass the time here?" She nearly cracked her neck with the speed she whirled around at him. Draco's blond wisps of hair were winking in the dimming light and so were his eyes.

"Sleep," she replied tightly.

He grinned, "Together? Sure"

Hermione glared at him. "No. Not together. Don't get any ideas because nothing's going to happen"

If possible, his grin widened. "Why Granger...what a dirty mind you have! I was simply stating the obvious that there is just one bed for the two of us"

Hopefully her anger sufficiently concealed the flush creeping down her face. Judging by his lowering sight, it didn't. Huffing, she decided to go off to sleep and curse Malfoy to hell.

Apparently that seemed like an invitation to Draco because he threw away the apple core and stretched beside her. They laid on their sides to create more space. His intense gaze unnerved her, making it harder to fall asleep. She wanted nothing more than to detach herself from the situation. All she was here for was rest and safety. Beyond that she would firmly ignore him.

So Hermione lowered her eyes, willing sleep to come. Yet all she could only sense his movement. He raised his arm above his head, shifted his hips a little and crossed and uncrossed his legs.

Hermione huffed a little and mentally made a list of all the things she would do once back home. But that only increased her worries because her future was unclear. She huffed again, making a ticking sound in worry.

"One day you're going to break down under all that stress Granger"

He leaned over to kiss her cheek, which might have been planted under the guise of affection. But it was a blatant tease. Making a face at him, she turned onto her other side, away from him.