The Pains of Becoming

A little bit of Draco-action to get started….
Thanks to Sajahi again for betaing! She helps a lot!
Hope you like and please review!


Chapter 2
A Deal

A few days later, Kirsty sat next to the fire in the Slytherin common room. She was staring into the flames, something she had done a lot of lately. There had to be another way. She could not continue like this, she had to change her life. It wasn’t like she cared much about mudbloods or purebloods or muggles or even You-Know-Who. But when she thought about how it would be, having a secret life as a deatheater, being a part of this powerful group, she was convinced that it would finally make her happy and most importantly people would finally give her some attention, see her as someone special. No one would deny that there was something seductive and powerful about the legion that surrounded Voldemort. Also there was something she found very attractive about pureblooded wizards and as a deatheater, she would gain the opportunity to mingle with the cream of them.
She’d always felt that if she’d been only two years younger, she would have had a large crush on Draco Malfoy. He was a good looking boy and he had this aristocratic assurance, an “hard to get” aura about him. She had seen his father and mother once at a Quidditch match. It was hardly surprising the younger Malfoy was so good looking, His mother was an incredible beauty and Malfoy senior could only be described by a term she had heard from the other girls in her year; he was an absolute stud! He had been a deatheater too and many speculated that he could well be one of the most powerful of Voldemort’s followers. She had been overwhelmed by the sheer amount of power and charisma he’d radiated. Once again she had felt that painful emptiness when she realised that someone like Mr Malfoy would never see anything in her. He would never notice her even. After all, what was she? Merely an average young witch, with mediocre blood, mediocre skill and only mediocre looks.
She was jolted from her thoughts when she noticed Draco had now joined her on the sofa, not from a desire for her company, it was simply the only empty seat in the common room. He was reading a history of magic book. Sometimes she wondered if it was possible he could be attracted to someone only a little older than he was. If nothing else, then maybe, the attraction could be to one with more experience? She inwardly gave voice to a pathetic laugh. That fifteen year old boy probably had more experience than her when it came to sex. In her early teen years she had experimented like everyone else. But it had amounted to little more than some rather unpleasant and unskilled snogging, with occasional groping in the dark. At least until Professor Snape would find them and cool them off with a stern lecture, on propriety and appropriate conduct, which was probably the most exiting part of the entire experience. But she’d never gone much further, she hadn’t ever enjoyed it, none of the boys had really interested her much. And as soon as they tried to hastily slip a hand into her pants, she would stop it all. Not that she was very traditional, she just would not have some stupid, ugly guy in her pants with his sticky unskilled fingers, no thank you. Eventually she simply gave up on it all. She was burning to explore all these things with someone she was actually aroused by, but she just couldn’t get anything out of it with the kind of boys that gave her attention.
But she wouldn’t mind playing with Draco Malfoy she thought. She wasn’t into younger boys usually, she preferred the idea of someone older and stronger. Someone who knew what he was doing. As she imagined Lucius Malfoy would be. But then, Draco was a bit reminiscent of his father, same silver blond hair and the same sneer. Yes, she would get something out of it. She looked at him out of the corner of her eyes.
“How are the parents?”, she asked in a distant voice. She didn’t want to sound like she liked him or anything, just in case he’d mock her or worse reject her.
Draco looked up from his book, clearly irritated: “Fine”, he said and resumed reading.
This sucked, how could she get him interested? Then she had another idea, one that would get her two flies with one slap.
“Malfoy, can we talk?” she said. He looked up in surprise.
“What about?”
“Not here. It’s something …secret,” He only continued to look at her, “Well?” She prodded him to answer.
“Ok, where then?”
“You know the empty room, three doors down, from the common room?” He nodded,
“Meet me there in one hour.” She told him before she left.
*
She waited in the small room, it was used to store various things, mainly forgotten paintings and some tables. It was rather dark, there was only one small window, high up near the ceiling, moonlight was shining through it. She paced up and down as she waited. She began to feel nervous, what if he didn’t come? Just as she was loosing her nerve ,the door opened and Draco slipped inside. He looked around in suspicion and then looked at her:
“So, what’s going on?”
“I need to ask you something. Do you have any… contacts among the deatheaters?” Draco hesitated, “I need to get in touch with them.”
Draco laughed out: “What?”
“It’s not funny” She said firmly.
“What could you want from the deatheaters?” He enquired.
“I have my reasons” She tried to sound assured, as though she had some kind of higher mission.
“Why do you ask me?”
“Your father is loyal to the Dark Lord, isn’t he.” She said, using the term she remembered Snape using for You-Know-Who. Draco was quiet for a moment.
“Like I would tell you anything”, he snorted. She stepped closer towards him,
“I am serious, Draco. I don’t need to know if he is or not, I only need to know, is there anyway you can get me in touch with the deatheaters?”
He only looked at her. She had to go about it in a different way.
“Draco, please, I need your help. I don’t know who else to ask and it’s very important. What do you want in return?” He seemed a little more interested now, that there was something he could gain from it.
“First, what do you want from the death eaters?”
“I am hardly a threat to them, am I? Just give me something.”
“So what could you do for me in return?” He asked with suspision.
“Anything, what do you want, Draco?” He hesitated, what would she have that he wanted. He didn’t know her at all, she was a fellow Slytherin, a bit older, she was a girl, not bad looking either…. Actually she was quite striking, but he’d never thought about her in that way. She was older than him and had always looked as though she did not want to be bothered by anyone. He was still somewhat… unsure about this exchange, but the more he thought about it, the more he felt there was definitely something in it for him. He could get her something, he was sure next time he went home, he would be able to get her something she could use to get in contact with the deatheaters and he could have some fun with a more experienced girl.
“Ok, would you do anything sexual?”, he asked a bit uncomfortably. She smiled inwardly, partly not believing he would want anything sexual from her, it made her feel so much more worthy.
“Anything you want, except for two things, I won’t actually sleep with you, and I don’t do blowjobs.” He was too embarrassed to look disappointed, though he surely was.
“But anything else.”
He looked back up at her speculatively. “Now and here. And I promise I get you what you need after next weekend when I return home.”
“Deal” She said simply and they just looked at each other silently for a moment. She felt surprisingly calm, it was his turn to tell her want he wanted to do.
“Take off your clothes.” He said breathlessly. She didn’t mind too much following that demand. His nervousness disappointed her, but it also made the job easier. Obviously he was not that experienced either and the risk for her to embarrass herself was not so big. The insecurities she had about her body suddenly seemed not such an issue. She sensed Draco wouldn’t have seen many naked women, in the flesh as it were, thus he wouldn’t care that she was not perfect. She casually dropped her shirt, then her bra and her skirt. Then she simply looked back at him in her panties and shoes and grey knee socks. He stared at her. He obviously liked what he saw so far.
“Take off your panties” He said hoarsely and swallowed on a dry throat. She did so and smiled at him. He only stared so finally she said “Come here.”
She leant back on the sofa behind her. He came closer and sat beside her. His right hand lay down on her naked inner thigh. He bent in to kiss her. She closed her eyes. They started kissing softly, then slowly thrusting their tongues in each others mouth. This was nice she thought. Not like one of her erotic dreams, but with half closed eyes she only blurry saw his silver hair and would treasure the fact that she was getting it on with a Malfoy, a rich pureblood. He was not a bad kisser too and his hand on her skin reminded her steadily that she was completely naked with him, which was turning her on a little. His hand moved up her body and cupped one of her firm breasts. But his touch was rather clumsy she noticed, so she concentrated on his nice kisses. She touched him too, but he was still dressed and she wasn’t sure where to touch him, she wasn’t too interested in touching him actually. She liked stroking his hair, but apart from that she was not really interested in his body, he was lean, boyish and rather undeveloped, he was not a real man yet.
But out of courtesy she moved her hand under his sweater.
His shaky hand now moved between her thighs, rather unskilfully he squeezed his fingers into her opening, she parted her legs for him to make it easier. She was still rather dry and it burned uncomfortably when he inserted one of his dry fingers. She pulled back:
“Don’t, don’t. I’m not ready.”
He looked at her frowning slightly. “Why not?”
“It hurts, ok? I’m not ready.”
“Are you sure you’re not just prevaricating about having to fulfil our deal?” He scowled at her. She couldn’t tell him, of course, that she was a virgin and rather afraid of sex or in general, of anything being inserted down there. Though she often fantasised about being filled with a big cock of some hot, strong man, when she tried to get the sensation by fingering herself she was surprised every time by just how tight she was and how uncomfortable it could be. She couldn’t actually imagine that something bigger that two fingers would fit. But with her not even being wet, there was no way she would have Draco put anything in there.
She decided to simply silence him by kissing him again. She put her hand on the bulge in his trousers and stroke softly up and down. She only hoped that she was doing it right, never really having dealt with a man’s sexual organ. It had always intimidated her and she’d simply chosen to stay away from it, but now she had to give this boy something to get what she wanted. He automatically placed his hand over hers and lead her in her motions. He closed his eyes moaning softly. She thought that he felt rather strange under her hand and the fabric. It was so alien to her, so different from her own body.
She realised that, while she’d been distracted with her thoughts, he’d opened his trousers and she backed off. She just couldn’t do it. She panicked and jumped off the couch. He opened his eyes and looked at her.
“What now?”, he asked frustrated.
She thought quickly, how could she get out of this without loosing her goal and without looking weak and stupid to him?
“How do I know you will still get me what I want after this?”
“What?”, he asked, trying to push away his desire for a moment to deal with her question.
“You get me what I want and THEN we continue this.” He closed his trousers.
“Stupid tease!” He stood and went for the door. Desperately, she stepped in his way, he was about the same size as her and she was still naked as she looked into his eyes.
“You get me what I want and we continue this… all the way to the end.”
He looked at her. Seeming to weigh her truthfulness. She definitely had his attention again, but clearly not his trust. She put her mouth right up to his ear and whispered huskily,
“I’m going to ride your cock until your eyes roll back in your head. I’ll fuck you senseless, little boy.”
She was repulsed by what she said, knowing she could never do this, that she would never want to. She’d sensed that he would be thrilled by the idea of her being the more mature woman. Her lips had slightly touched his ear and he’d shivered.
“Fine”, he hissed, angry that he’d betrayed his continuing interest in her, before he stormed out and slamming the door behind him. She sagged in relief, thankful that he’d bought her act, before straightening and starting to re-dress herself.