Achieving Orgasm with Cruciatus in 10 Concise Step

Chapter 1: Finding a Partner

Unfortunately, self-inflicted Cruciatus is a rather difficult practice and not recommended for the purposes of this dissertation (unless you become excessively accomplished and even then, it is not nearly as enjoyable). Therefore, I recommend the acquisition of a partner to aid in this uncharted exploration.

I cannot begin to emphasize the importance of finding an individual who is not only competent with the Cruciatus curse, but also one you can somewhat trust (although I highly doubt that there are many trustworthy witches or wizards readily available, particularly if they are Death Eaters). You may wish to consider an individual that you can threaten with a litany of particularly vile curses in order to ensure their obedience should they intentionally harm you during the process. If you are unable to cast some of the simplest yet dire curses, then your tactics should obviously not involve the latter. In fact, your incompetent self should in all likelihood refrain from reading further.

You may, of course, select a servant of a powerful dark wizard, but this could potentially raise a variety of issues you may not wish to contend with should your partner fail you at a future date, necessitating their demise. Dark wizards typically do not like to lose any supporters unless they have designs in expediting their follower's detachment from the umbilical cord of life and do so with their own hands. Dark wizards can be so childishly territorial at times.

You might be able to garner the aid of a rule-breaking and sadistic Auror, but given your own probable proclivities and extracurricular activities, this is inadvisable for reasons that should be obvious.

Defence Against the Dark Arts instructors and masters can sometimes prove useful, although I would highly recommend securing as much knowledge as possible concerning your subject to make an informed decision as to whether or not they would be amenable to your enterprise. Most Defence Against the Dark Arts specialists abhor what they deem the irresponsible use of curses and hexes, frowning considerably at even the most benign use of an Unforgivable. However, you may be able to locate a life-long student of Defence Against the Dark Arts who is of dubious moral character -- but be certain, and do not permit your enthusiasm to cloud your decision.

The clinically insane are definitely not recommended and I encourage you to acquire a roster of prior and current mental patients from St. Mungo's to ensure that you do not inadvertently set your sights on the wrong sort of person. Mind, if you are this witless, then you deserve whatever amusing fate befalls you.

Do not neglect the general wizarding population, although careful scrutiny is in order. Not every dark witch or wizard is a Death Eater or serves a powerful dark wizard and you would do well to realize this fact. While handing out questionnaires and arranging formal interviews may draw unnecessary attention to your activities, you should be able to carry out an in-depth investigation of your target in reasonable secret. If you are incapable of performing this research yourself, you can contract organizations specializing in investigations to undertake this task for you. I do not think I need to mention that anyone you do retain in this capacity may require termination upon completion of the contract. Use your best judgment.

First and foremost, extreme competency in Cruciatus is paramount. Your partner must have absolute precision and control where this curse is concerned. After all, you are placing both your mental and physical health in this individual's hopefully capable hands. You may wish to observe prospective partners cast Cruciatus on a few Muggles in order to determine their proficiency. As a brief aside, choose Muggles from another country, preferably one with an incompetent Ministry of Magic -- there is little point in drawing unwanted attention to your illicit activities.

Secondly, proficiency in healing spells is quite essential. Your partner should be quite conversant in casting healing spells. If, after the fact, you discover that this individual is unskilled in this regard, then you have erred grievously in your choice. Before you inform your potential partner of your intended activities, you should determine their aptitude with healing spells. After all, you should look to your own interests above all else.

At the time of your first session, I would suggest surreptitiously dosing your chosen partner's libation with a time-release poison whereby if they do not receive the antidote within a specified period, they will endure considerable suffering (or death, if that is your desire). Feel free to inform your partner that you have done so after they have ingested the aforementioned poison. Use whatever ingenuity and creativity strikes you to guarantee the future compliance of your partner.

If you find your partner lacking at any point, you would be wise to dismiss them after using Obliviate to wipe recent events from their memory. If you are incapable of using this spell, you can always settle for an old-fashioned execution. Remember, mastering the techniques outlined in this book will leave you quite vulnerable to those who learn of your abilities. The fewer individuals who possess knowledge of your newfound talents, the longer you will preserve your existence.

Limit those who are aware of your indulgences to the following: your partner and possibly your lover (who may also be your partner). Likewise, if your lover betrays you at any time, elect to either Obliviate or kill them for the same reason as mentioned above -- whichever option best suits your future needs concerning this individual.