What He Does To Me

Snape’s POV-

You are sitting at the dinning room table, your head in your heads and your hair falling around your shoulders. It is beautiful. I want to bash your head in with a hard object right now. Goddamn you Sirius. I hate you, you bastard. With every breath you take, I can feel myself falling farther in love with you. Whore. (A/N: my favorite word.)

I know I’m staring at you, you must know I’m staring at you too since your shoulders just went stiff and you peered at me through your bangs. My eyes quickly dart away to stare at something else. If I look at you to long one of the others might notice.

Why don’t you just die Sirius? You are always complaining and whining about how you cannot help us of leave you goddamn house. You seem miserable. I like it that way though. You can feel the same why I do. Horrible. I want you to suffer Sirius; I want your life to be as awful as mine has been.

However, you make it better. When you come to me every night I know that I can last through the next day because I don’t want to miss one day of you touch. You confuse me. Why do you come to me every night? Why do you leave afterwards? Tell me why Sirius. No, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. If I know, I might tell you I love you. I can’t do that.

Shit. You lifted your head and tossed your hair. It falls so gracefully around your face. Fuck, why do you have to be so beautiful? You’re still so deathly skinny, but on you it works. You’re pulling back your hair so it’s not hanging in your eyes. I wish you wouldn’t do that, you are so much better looking when it’s hanging in your face. It gives me imagines of how your hair is every night when you come to me, falling haphazardly in your face as you thrust into me. It’s erotic.

Great, you saw me watching you again. I know I shouldn’t stare, but I can’t help it, whenever I see you I cannot look away. I need to work on that. You look at me with your pricing eyes. They narrow into slits with a dangerous look in them. Others would take that look as one of hate and anger I suppose, but not me, I know what it really means. It’s the look you give me each night before you rip of my clothes.

“Snape,” you growl my name, “We have to talk,” Your eyes darken with lust. I know what’s going to happen.

I see Remus look up from the table out of the corner of my eye, “Um, Sirius,” He says hesitantly, “What are you going to do to him?”

Your eyes don’t leave mine, “Don’t worry Remus, I’m not going to kill him,” your eyes darken with luNo, No, you will not kill me, not tonight.

You stand up swiftly and your chair falls to the ground. You walk around the table, grab my arm roughly, and pull me out of m chair. I scowl at youyou you drag me out of the room. I do not like to be yanked out of chairs and roughly pulled down dusty hallways and up creaky stairs. But you don’t care about that do you? No, of course you don’t. Your normally gentle way with me is completely lost as you drag me through this old house and to your bedroom.

Sirius’s POV-


You’re staring at me. I can feel your eyes on my head and it’s dng mng me wild. God, Severus, what you do to me! You heated stare on the top of my head is making my blood boil. I have to look at you.

You see me looking back. Keep looking love! Of course you don’t. You never do. You never will unless I change things.

I’m sorry, this may end up hurting you more then just screwing you each night, or it might help you. God I don’t fucking care right now, I just want to do all the things to you that I always feared doing. I can’t keep dreaming about it, I have to have you now. But differently. I don’t want to keep taking you each night and leaving you there, vulnerable and naked and covered in your cum. It’s fucking breathtaking, but I can’t do it anymore.

Having you fall asleep in my arms with your head against my chest is what I want. Why did it have to happen this way? If I had treated you better in school, it wouldn’t be like this now would it? You wouldn’t hate me by day and have me fuck you by night. What if I was better? What if everything happened differently when we were at school?

But if it had, if I had treated you like a person instead of a toy, then what? I would have been treating a Slytherin with kindness, a Slytherin boy, my reputation would have died. I should just face it, hating you so much was what made me love you. It’s fucked, I know, but it’s true. If I had never hated you I never would have fallen for you.

But now I only hate you when others are around. I can’t seem to stop that. But the least I can do for you is let you know I love you when we’re alone. Hell, I love you all the fucking time. I have to tell you I’m stopping lying to you and myself. Who am I kidding? Anyone with half a brain and any life experience will be able to look at me looking at you and know that I’m head over goddamn heals in fucking love with you.

I can’t take it anymore Severus! I’m sorry, and I don’t care! I love you and I need you badly, in a way so different it scares me.

“Snape,” I snarl, I hate to call you by your last name, but I don’t want to be more obvious then I already am, “We have to talk.”

Your face doesn’t change. It stays neutral. You are always so fucking neutral around me. Even when we are alone together at night, you never show any emotion on your face. It doesn’t even change for me. I don’t know how you are able to keep your self from screaming, or at least, getting a look on your face. am, am, wince, cry out in pleasure, anything!

Remus asks me something. I’m not listening to him. I’m staring into your eyes. I say something back, I don’t know what, but I guess it reassured him.

I grab your arm and force you out of your chair. You sneer, whenever your face shows any emotion, it’s a sneer or a smirk, never a smile. Can you even smile Severus? Do you know how?

God I hate this house. I hate everything about this house and I always have. The only thing I dohatehate is that you are here. I look back at you as I drag you up the staircase a little too roughly. Oh no! I shouldn’t have looked at. Can I go through with this? Can I do what I desperately want to do? Can I tell you everything that’s in my heart?

I shove you into my room and push you up against the wall. Your face still stays the same though you look a little surprised by my actions. I run a hand through your hair; it always shocks me how ungreasy it really is. I run one finger over one of your cheekbones. I have the other hand resting against the wall right over your shoulder. I can’t let you get away if I scare you.

Then before even I know it, I press my lips against yours in a crushing kiss. I know I take you by complete surprise, hell; I take my self by surprise. I had told my self I would do this but I didn’t think I really would. You do nothing. I didn’t think you would, but I’m still disappointed. I want youpartparticipate.

Your lips are softer then I thought they would be. Please, move them, open them, push me away, do something that will tell me you are enjoying this!

I pull away and look into your eyes, searching for a sign for me to keep going.

“What did you do that for?” You ask coldly.

“I wanted to see what kissing you saw like.”

You put your hands on my chest and push me away, “Well I hope you hand fun,” You say with a bitter humor in your voice, “Now if you don’t mind I have to be leaving,” You slip out over my hold and head out of my r I s I stand there and watch you walk away.

Fuck.

I lost my chance.