Black Robes, Pink Tights

It was about 30 minutes when it looked like both he and Hermione were ready to go.
“Okay, now, be prepared to have to empty all of your pockets before we get onto the airplane.”, Hermione explained.
“What?! How do you plan on explaining our wands? Surely they’ll know what they are.” Severus worried.
Hermione scoffed. “You’d be surprised. I took mine to France and told the person inspecting my belongings that it was an unsharpened pencil and the crazy bloke believed me. Just tell them it’s your whittling stick or something.”
“Right. Just what I need. Maybe I’ll whi a s a sharp point at the end and gouge it through my eye.”
“Oh come on Severus.”
They walked through the castle, out the front doors to the front gates. “There’s no way we’ll be able to make it back in time for tomorrow’s classes.”, Severus said.
“Honestly Severus,” She said, pulling the time turner chain from her neck a little bit, showing him.
“Oh” was his only reply. “Right then, to where?”
“London.”
And within a second, they were standing in a tiny broom closet that, from the sounds, could only be inside an airport.
“What the bludger are those noises?”
“That would be the planes.”
And suddenly, there was a thud. Hermione looked down to see Snape sprawled out on the floor, having fainted.

The minute Severus stepped out of the closet, he was regretting ever going for a walk the night before. The airplane things were so loud. Hermione was practically dragging him through the airport. He was glad she knew what she was doing.
He was standing behind her when he urgently prodded her shoulder. “What Severus?”, She asked.
“Uh, where’s the bathroom?”
Hermione pointed towards the restrooms and Severus hurried off towards them, but returned in a few minutes and prodded Hermione again. “What Severus?”
“Which one do I go into?”
Hermione sighed. “Are you trying to be funny?”
Severus shook his head while dancing from foot to foot. “No! It doesn’t say witches and wizards or men and women. There’s just pictures. There’s a person in robes and a naked person. I’m not in either.”
Hermione tried her hardest to keep a straight face, but burst out laughing. “Come here Severus.” She walked him towards the bathroom and stopped outside the doors. “Okay this,” Pointing to the ‘person in robes‘, “Is a woman. And this,” Pointing to the ‘naked person’, “is a man.”
Severus nodded and headed into the bathroom, only to come out a few seconds later with a confused look. “Hermione, there’s no handles on anything.”
She giggled. “What?”
“The sink… there’s no handles on the sink or the loo.. how am I supposed to flush?” He asked, still wiggling around.
Hermione sighed. “Come here Severus.” She glanced nervously around the airport and pulled him into the ladies bathroom with her, figuring there would be less to explain. She wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen a urinal before and didn’t want to find out. Thank goodness it was deserted. She took him to last stall, opened up the door and shoved him inside of it, got in and quickly shut and locked the door behind her. “Okay Severus, this is an automatic toilet. You don’t have to flush it. Once you go and step away, it flushes all by itself.” Severus looked at her skeptically. “Really, it does. Try it and see.”
“Go out then.” Hermione was about to open the door and get out when they heard the bathroom door open.
“Shit, I can’t leave now.”, She whispered.
“But I have to go!!”
Hermione glared at him. “Then GO!”
“Turn around.”, Severus ordered.
So Hermione turned around and covered her eyes. She heart Severus unzip his trousers and step near the toilet, then the unmistakable sound of tinkling. She giggled. “Shhhhh” Severus warned her.
They heard the toilet in the stall down the row flush, then water running, then the door opening and the person leaving. Both Hermione and Severus sighed in relief.
“Hurry up Severus. I need to go too.” She heard Severus zip up his trousers. Then the toilet flushed. She turned around and moved towards the toilet.
“Uh, I’ll just step out” Severus muttered.
“You can’t. Some Muggle woman will see you and freak out. No, you have to wait for me.”
Severus sighed. Hermione had her hand on her hip. “Well, turn around.” He muttered something and turned around. He heard her pull up her skirt and sit down. He tried to think of something else as she sat on the toilet with her bare bottom. The next thing he knew, the toilet flushed, so he turned around, only to realize that Hermione only had her panties half way up. He groaned at his instant arousal.
“Severus!”, Hermione exclaimed, trying hastily to pull up her panties.
“Here, let me help” HE reached down to grab her panties but she swatted his hand away.
“What? You’ve been frisky all day. Now I try and you push me away,” He groaned.
“But we’re in a Muggle airport bathroom.”
He grinned. “That’s what makes it all the more fun”, and started kissing Hermione’s neck.
“Severus”, she warned, but couldn’t hide the fact that she was enjoying it.
“Yes?”, as his hands reached for her breasts.
She moaned softly. “We shouldn’t do this.”
He gripped her bottom tight and pulled away. “I suppose not.”
Hermione stood there dazed for a few moments and then pulled up her panties. “Our plane leaves in 45 minutes. We’d better go find out gate.”
She peeked out the door to make sure there were no other people in the bathroom, then motioned for Severus to follow her.
“How do these blasted taps work?”
Hermione took her hands and placed them under the tap and it automatically turned on. Severus did the same thing, and was marveled at how it worked.
“you don’t have to touch a thing- bloody brilliant!”, he exclaimed. He looked around for a moment. “Where are the towels?” He shrugged and reached into his pocket for his wand, to perform a simple drying charm, but Hermione swatted his hand away.
“No magic Severus. Give me your hand.” He held his hands out and Hermione took them in hers and held them under this strange metal contraption that, as soon as their hands were underneath it, let out warm air, drying their hands.
Severus was in aw yet again. “How does it do that?”
Hermione started walking towards the door. “There’s motion sensors inside of it and once it detects something underneath it, it turns on.”
Severus was in awe of the thing and studied it closely, sticking his hands under it, watching it turn on, then taking his hands from under it. He probably would’ve stood there for hours, but Hermione ushered him out the door.
They made their way up to the gat their flight was taking off from. They presented their tickets. As they got closer to the gate, Severus could see people turning out their pockets and started to get nervous.
“Severus its okay”, Hermione whispered.
As they got closer to the gate, the security guard noticed how nervous Severus was. “You okay sir?”
Severus’ face went pale. “He’s just a little nervous. First time flying and all.”, Hermione quickly said.
The security guard nodded. “Understandable.” There were no other inquiries after that.
When they got to the point to turn out their pockets, Severus nervously did so. Hermione had stashed hers in her purse. They turned out their pockets and the person going through their belongings winked at them, gave them their wands back and sent them on their way.
When they got out of ear range, Severus glanced at Hermione. “That man looked at my wand and then winked at us.”
Hermione shrugged. “So. At least you didn’t get hassled about it.”
When it came time to board the plane, Severus was a bundle of nerves. “Hermione, I can’t do this. I watched those other planes take off. What’s keeping them in the air?”
“Now boarding flight 118 to America.”
“C’mon Severus. It’ll be okay.” Hermione reassured, as she took a hold of Severus’ hand and led him towards where they were boarding. She could tell he was shaking badly. She secretly laughed inside. Her feared Potions Master was a wreck over a ride on an airplane. If only the other students could see him now.
She looked over to see that he had turned extremely pale, and was a twinge of green. “Severus it’s okay. Calm down. Here, chew this.”, She said, handing him a piece of gum.
“Why in gods would I want a piece of gum now? It’s not going to soothe me.”, he spat.
“No. It’ll help when the plane takes off, so that your ears won’t pop.”
So that my ears don’t what?” Severus asked tensely.
“Oh just take the gum Severus.” He scoffed, took the gum and started chewing it hastily.
“Let’s go find out seats.” Hermione said, pulling Severus onto the plane. He was walking shakily. She found their seats, numbers 11 and 12.
A voice came across the loudspeaker. “Hello everyone, this is your captain speaking. We’ll be taking off in about ten minutes, but in the meantime, please listen to the flight attendants explain the safety precautions.”
Severus looked around wildly. “Safety precautions? What in the bloody hell?”
“It’s just routine things they go over before every flight, just in case the plane crashes or there are any problems.”, Hermione explained, trying to calm him down.
“Crashes? Into what?”
The man sitting behind them smiled maliciously. “Oh you know. Into the water, or the ground. Perhaps maybe another airplane.”
Severus looked as though he was going to be sick. “That’s it. Get me off of this thing NOW- if I die, I want to die safely on the ground, not up in the air with my ears exploding!”
“Hello everyone and welcome to British Airways Flight 118 to America. New York City to be exact.”, the woman standing in front of the plane in an official looking outfit said. “My name is Francine and I’m the head flight attendant. I would like to go over a few things before we take off. The emergency exits are located at the middle, one on each side of the plane.”
Severus looked around and realized that they were only 3 rows away from the emergency exits. He could’ve sworn he heard kid say if that door went they’d all be sucked out like a vacuum. “In the event of the crash into the water, your seat can be used as a floatation device. Oxygen masks will drop down, put them on like so,” and she put it on to demonstrate. “There will be no in flight movie or refreshments. Now, please buckle your seat belts, they buckle like so,” and she demonstrated. “Now please have a safe and happy flight with British Airways.”
Severus noticed that Hermione already had her seat belt buckled. He tried his but the stupid thing wouldn’t budge. He pulled it and that only seemed to make it bigger. “Uh, Hermione?”
She looked over and sighed and helped him buckle it. “Okay, now just try and relax.”
“That’s easy for you to say.” He muttered.
“Ladies and gentleman, thank you for flying with British Airways. Please buckle your seatbelts and make sure your tray tables and seats are in the upright position. We’ll begin take off in a few moments. Thank you and have a nice day.”, The captain said over the loud speaker.
Hermione looked over at Severus and started giggling. He looked as though he were scared to death and preparing for a nasty crash. He was sat rigidly in his seat, with his hands clutched so tightly on the arm rests his knuckles were turning white. She silently placed one of her hands on his. He picked up her hand and held onto it for dear life.
“Uh, Hermione, I-”, Severus started when all of a sudden the plane started moving. “What was that?!”
Hermione suppressed a giggle. “That was the plane. We’re starting to move down the runway. Soon we’ll be taking off.”
Severus kept his eyes tightly closed and nodded. “How long will this take off thing last?”
Hermione shrugged. “A few minutes. Then after we’re safely in the air, we can unbuckle our seatbelts and even move around if we want to.. there’s a bathroom towards the front.”
Severus’ eyes snapped open. “You mean walk in this thing? What if we crash?”
Hermione giggled again. “Severus we’re not going to crash.”
Just when the plane started picking up speed down the runway and he felt the nose of the plane moving of the ground, he muttered. “Oh Merlin…” He saw his life flash before his eyes and clutched Hermione’s hand tightly.
“Severus it’s okay.” Hermione said soothingly. “It’ll all be over in just a few minutes.”
Severus felt his ears popping as they rose higher and high, the plane seeming as though it were almost perfectly vertical. He chomped nervously on his gum.
“Oh Lord, if you please just let me live through this I’ll leave next year’s first years alone.”, He thought frantically. “I’ll even give Potter a fair chance, just please don’t let this thing crash.”
And in about 30 seconds’ time, the plane seemed to come out of what seemed like warp speed and returned to normal. It was no longer vertical, but horizontal. He breathed a sigh of relief. He looked up above to thank the gods and suddenly one of the glowing lights above went off. “They’re going to leave us in the dark?”
Hermione smiled. “No. That light means that we can put our tray tables down and remove our seatbelts.”, as she unbuttoned hers.
“Are they insane? And get sucked out the doors if we crash? Certainly not, I’ll leave mine on.”
Hermione shrugged. “Suit yourself.” She reclined her seat back a little and when the flight attendant came around offering pillows and blankets, she took some.
“You’re not going to sleep are you?”, Severus asked.
Hermione shrugged. “If I fall asleep don’t wake me.” Severus looked at her funny.
“You honestly can’t be thinking of sleeping on this thing, can you?”
Hermione sighed. “Honestly Severus, there’s probably a 20% chance of a crash.”
Severus looked around the airplane. He never really realized how different Muggles were, yet he’d never spent much time around them. They were very odd. There was a man near the front talking on what he assumed was one of those Muggle telephones, but it was unlike any he’d ever seen before. Then there was a Muggle boy with something small in his hands that he was enthralled with.
He nudged Hermione gently. “Yes?”, her eyes still closed.
He looked around the airplane again. “What’s that talking on? Telephones have cords and need to be plugged into the wall I thought?”
Hermione opened her eyes and studied his face. She was impressed that such a thing had him curious. She realized he must have taken Muggle Studies to know about the telephone. “That’s a cell phone. It’s a telephone that you can take with you and use just about anywhere. It works off of a specialized battery.”
Severus watched the man, then his eyes went to the boy with the square thing in his hands. “Then what’s that?”
Hermione looked and saw the boy playing a Gameboy. “That’s a hand held video game.”
He raised his eyebrow. “Video game?”
Hermione nodded. “It’s a computerized game that Muggle children like to play.”
Severus sat for a while, observing the Muggles. Some were more strange than others. He saw many with things upon their heads, covering their ears. What were those things? Were they hearing devices? What purpose did they serve?
He looked over at Hermione, who was gazing out the window. Severus peered out and it gave him the creeps. “Hermione, what are those things on those people’s ears?”
Hermione stood up and opened the overhead compartment door and pulled out a pair of headphones and handed them to Severus. “When I plug these in, put them on and you should hear music. If you don’t like the music you hear, press this button and it will change.”
Severus looked at Hermione skeptically but put the headphones on once Hermione plugged them in. He heard the music coming out of the headphones and screwed up his face. What kind of stuff was Hermione having him listen to? It was some kind of guitar riff and drums. He remembered from Muggle Studies that this kind of music was called Rock and Roll and was something Muggle teenagers listened to. He listened closely to the lyrics as they started. “Say your prayers little one don’t forget my son to include everyone. I tuck you in, warm within, keep you free from sin till the sandman he comes. Sleep with one eye open, gripping your pillow tight. Exit light, enter night. Take my hand, off to never never land”. Severus frowned. This was definitely not his ideal choice of music.
He reached up and changed it. He couldn’t honestly say that the second song was better than the first. There were no words to it, just a couple of banjo’s playing back and forth. What kind of crap did these Muggles listen to? He switched it again and the foulest thing he’d ever heard in his life came across the speakers. Something about Freak A Leak. Who in their right might would be freaking a leak and why was he singing about THAT?? He changed it again and this time the song that came on he actually liked. It was different than anything he’d ever heard before. It was slow and easy to listen to. The lyrics were amazing. “Looking back on the memory of the dance we shared neath the stars above. “For a moment, all the world was right. How could I of known that you’d ever say goodbye and I’m glad I didn’t know the way it all would end, the way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance. I could’ve missed the pain but I’d of had to miss the dance.” Severus almost choked up at the thought of what the lyrics meant. They were beautiful and so well written and so was the music to go with it. He listened to the whole song.
The song that played after that was just as good. The lyrics confused him a bit though. It went ‘She thinks my tractor’s sexy’, but he didn’t really understand what a tractor was, but apparently it turned this woman on.
He quietly nudged Hermione and felt bad for waking her up, but when she woke up, she smiled and snuggled closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder.
“Hearing any good music?”
He nodded. “I’m a bit confused though. What’s a tractor and why would someone find it sexy and sing a song about it?”
Hermione started giggling. “You’re listening to country?”
“What?”
“That’s what the kind of music is called.”
“So what’s a tractor?”
Hermione explained to him what a tractor was and what its uses were in Muggle farming. They talked the rest of the flight about Muggle music, and what they’d found interesting in Muggle Studies