Dead Inside

Usual Disclaimer as Chapter 1. Took awhile but I\'m currently running a game of SLA Industries and the plot-work for that is fairly weighty. No rest for the games master as they say :-).

Meep! *Blinks then dances jig* Thank you all for lovely reviews and from people who inspired me to write my own fanfic as well. I am honoured. :-) Have answered reviews at the bottom of the page as have decided with this fic it\'s nicer than just thanking a list of names.


*****


Dead Inside.

Chapter 2 - Tea and \'The Plan\'

After what seems forever I manage to pull myself together. Disentangling myself from Draco I get up and walk to the sink. Whilst splashing water on my face I realise my rage has at least for now evaporated, all of it. Now I just feel drained and oddly empty, trying to distance myself I put the kettle on. Tea smoothes over the worst situation my mother used to say. Can\'t hurt to try.

As it boils I turn back to my friends. Harry has finished with both his patient and his whiskey, Draco is back lounging against the wall.
Snape hasn\'t moved since I sat him down other than where his freshly bandaged arm now rests.
The wrongness of everything hangs in the air like a cloud. We won and still it feels like we are fighting an uphill battle, nothing is how it should be.

The click of the kettle switching off brings me back, waving ineffectually at the steaming appliance I ask.

\"Draco would you mind?\"

I need to go and freshen up and I admit that my tea-making skills are lacking. Apparently, and this made me laugh when I heard it, brewing a good cup of tea is a necessary skill if you plan to get anywhere in Slytherin. I wonder what Earl-Grey Snape style is like.

Bolting for the stairs before I start upsetting myself any more I make my way to the bathroom.
Moments later I stand, letting the water cascade over me drumming like rain. Washing the sterility of St. Mungo\'s off of me and the gritty sensation of prolonged crying from my eyes. I steal this moment to soothe my jangling nerves whilst I take stock of \'The Plan\'.

*****
The Plan is actually an ever growing set of actions that we add to when we meet, it sort of started as simply FIND DUMBLEDORE. It is not set in stone, though Merlin knows it would be nice if we had a clue as to what we are doing.

This happening to Snape was not something we had considered more than briefly, after all he was one of the good guys, everyone knew that. Or so we thought. When it became clear that there was no way Fudge was going to acknowledge Snape\'s work for the Order, or even that he had been on our side we started to panic.
When he actually survived the \'rehabilitation\' process (not everyone did) it became imperative that we act.

Yes Snape had done nothing but treat Harry and me with barely concealed hatred for seven years and he was an utter bastard to everyone else.
I don\'t even want to think about what he had done as a Death Eater, I\'m not as ignorant as some suppose on the matter.
But he was our bastard, the man who had saved Harry, Ron and I numerous times. In an attempt to atone for his past crimes he had undergone torture, humiliation and saved more lives than I can count.
If not for him we would not have been able to locate Voldemort, let alone destroy him on our terms.

The thought of him being claimed by someone who didn\'t know who he really was. Someone like that orderly made me feel ill.
Unable to defend himself and with a world of people holding grudges who\'s to say he wouldn\'t end up in a ditch somewhere.

It happens.

They say Lucius\'s body was mutilated almost beyond recognition when it was pulled out of the Thames.
None of us want that to happen to Snape, at least here he is as safe as he can be.

\"\'MIONE! TEA!\"

\"COMING.\"

I dry off quickly, dragging fresh jeans up damp legs, loosing my balance more than once before charging down the stairs. Draco gets pissy if you let his tea get cold.
Harry is standing next to Snape with a look of exasperation on his face. A mug of tea and plate of sandwiches lie on the table in front of the professor.

\"I can\'t get him to do anything!\"

I explain about being bound to only follow my orders before addressing the silent man.

\"Professor Snape?\"

His face turns toward me, still vacant as he stares at a point just over my shoulder.
I speak as gently as I can, gods but this is awkward.

\"There is food and drink on the table would you be so good as too consume it, then please acquaint yourself with the house.\"

His attention focuses on the plate in front of him and he picks up one sandwich. Feeling guilty at leaving him alone Harry and I make our way to the War-room.

*****

The war-room is actually my cellar, filled with junk, electric appliances and Gym gear bought with the best intentions but that I know will never get used. Set to one side is a small table with a huge pot of tea complete with cosy and a platter of food.

Draco pours as with a wave of my wand all the rubbish on the floor is swept to one side. Retrieving my much needed tea and something to eat we sit on the dark-grey linoleum floor.

Another motion of my wand and the light becomes purple and almost non-existent. Anything white glows brightly in the ultraviolet light including the notes and diagrams scrawled on the floor. Summoning a chunky UV reactive pen from it\'s hiding place I allow myself a smug moment of muggle superiority, very few wizards unless muggle-born would believe it possible to make something invisible without using magic.
On the list in front of me I strike out the words RESCUE PROFESSOR SNAPE and the written stages of that plan.
Looking at the boys I state the all important question.

\"So what do we do now?\"

Harry shrugs, looking despondent.

\"I can keep asking around what\'s left of the Order, but I don\'t hold out much hope there.\"

\"I know we\'ve been through this before but what exactly happened before you ported from Voldemort\'s sanctuary?\"

I close my eyes trying to picture the scene.

\"The distraction was working, The Auror\'s and the Order were busy engaging the the Death Eaters in some hefty Guerrilla warfare which they thought was just the Order thanks to misinformation supplied by Snape and Draco.

Ron and Moody ported to the point set up outside Riddle\'s chambers and held off anyone who came to the aid of their master. Dumbledore and I used the homing Port-key, circumventing Riddle\'s wards to get to Snape\'s location. He was having the shit cursed out of him. I was honestly surprised he was still coherent enough to keep the homing charm active, but it meant Riddle didn\'t notice we were there at first.\"

He pauses and I readjust the view in my head.

\"The fight, and no \'Mione I\'m not going into details, I don\'t particularly want to think about it myself, was vicious. I just about got his wards down leaving him open long enough for the dagger to be used and it was Snape who actually did the deed.
One minute he\'s a shaking mess on the floor, about as out-of -it as you can be, the next Riddle has the dagger buried in his groin and is looking fairly pissed off but nowhere near as fucked over as we\'d hoped.
That was until he could feel the magic keeping him together being eaten away, then he panicked.\"

And so he should have. That enchantment was the reason I couldn\'t fight in the battle, bed-ridden and having to hear about it second-hand put me in an even worse mood that day than the one I was already in at that stage.

\"You should have seen his face \'Mione, he was bricking himself, even tried his soul-escaping-to-fight-another-day trick but the knife had hold of that too.\"

Now I smile, I know what\'s coming next.

\"Anyway, when it started beeping Dumbledore threw Snape at me and we used the Port-Key to get the hell out of there. I mean we were all pretty beaten up but Dumbledore used the key the same time we did but he didn\'t reappear with us and by then Riddles rooms had gone boom.\"

He sounds dejected.

\"If Snape were himself he might know something.\"

We all nod in solemn silence. I voice something that has been niggling at me.

\"Has anyone spoken to Ron yet?\"

\"Weasel?\"

Draco sneers and I refrain from letting him know I can see just as clearly in this light as I can on a bright day. Sometimes he can still be a right prick.

\"Well he might know something, he was in the corridor outside.\"

Harry now looks pained.

\"I\'ve tried, but he\'s avoiding me. Merlin only knows what I\'ve done to offend him but he won\'t come anywhere near me.\"

\"Do you want me to catch up with him?\"

I feel somewhat ashamed that I haven\'t seen as much of my friend since the war than I would have liked but Harry is right, when the idea of a get together is raised he always seems to be busy or something \'comes up\'. Idly I write TIE RON TO CHAIR SO CAN HAVE CONVERSATION in the missions section of the floor.
I\'m serious, I will if I have to.

\"Right then...Harry your task is to question those who were at the battle again, I\'ll try to pin down Ron and Draco....try not to get yourself caught.\"

I add each task to the floor then spell the lights and junk back to their original form and positions.

\"You\'re both welcome to stay.\"

Harry declines but Draco lets me know somewhat mockingly that he has space in his busy schedule so accepts. It\'s getting late now so I see Harry off and close the drapes before Draco ascends from the cellar.
Snape doesn\'t appear to be downstairs which must mean he\'s exploring the upper floor or the attic. The sudden horrible thought that I don\'t know how much independent action he\'s capable of hits me hard, He could just be standing in the last room he explored waiting for my orders. Bloody, bloody hell!

The light padding of feet coming down the stairs would have alerted me to his presence even if I hadn\'t now got the proverbial eye in the back of my head.
Seeing me he stops and I stand speechless, I just don\'t know what to do. It seems wrong to just leave him sitting around but there\'s no way I\'m doing what was suggested in the \"Users Guide\" they made me read in the waiting room, I can see Professor Snape doing menial chores with magic let alone without. Though the idea of having him scrub all my cauldrons by hand does appeal to the part of me that still resents those detentions.

He does look like death warmed up, now he\'s eaten the thing I would have done is had a long bath but the idea of a naked Snape in my bathroom makes me feel really uncomfortable. Tomorrow when I\'m feeling less raw I\'ll face up to it, but today? No.

I have prepared the attic room for him, it is comfortable and clean and not too bright.
Okay it is also my favourite room after my lab and bathroom.

I have also got his old clothes delivered by the ministry and some extra lighter garments, anything to get him out of those bloody coveralls.

\"Professor Snape the attic room is yours, anything in it is yours. I\'d appreciate it if you would get some rest now. I will come and check on you in the morning.\"

He turns and moves back up the stairs as gracefully and silently as a ghost. Letting out an explosive breath I return to my other guest.


*****

Draco is in my sitting room having switched on my CD player, the glasses from earlier and the bottle from my cupboard sit on the coffee table.
Gls ars are refilled with fire whiskey, music suitable to my mood plays softly and we sit in companionable silence whilst the first couple of tracks play.

\"It\'s going to be uncomfortable isn\'t it? At least until you get used to him being here. I know he wasn\'t exactly your favourite teacher, but he doesn\'t deserve this.\"

Closing my eyes briefly I sigh.

\"I\'m nertaertain uncomfortable covers it. We\'ll see. Anyway you were always his favourite.\"

He laughs.

\"Yeah, but only because my father outran him in the Dark Lord kiss-arse stakes. He did actually hate me as much as he hated everyone else.\"

Frowning I ask the question I always ask when alone with him.

\"You are being careful aren\'t you Draco?\"

Then snort indelicately as I realise.

\"If someone told me I\'d be saying that a year ago I\'d have sent them packing to St. Mungo\'s.\"

\"Yeah well if someone told me I was going to be sitting here drinking whiskey with you of all people I would have set Crabbe and Goyle on them. But yes I am, I still have some pretty unsavoury contacts and they are the ones likely to know if Dumbledore is dead. I haven\'t heard from them so there is still hope, however the fact is after this long I\'m preparing myself for the worst.\"

I nod, the possibility was always there but I will not abandon the search until I have proof.

\"It\'ll kill Harry.\"

\"You don\'t give him enough credit \'Mione. He isn\'t a child anymore and he\'ll have come to the same realisation we have. Not talking about it isn\'t going to make the issue disappear.

\"You\'re right, I mother him something rotten, sometimes it\'s hard to believe we aren\'t eleven anymore and all things considered Harry deserves a break from all of this.
What I want to know is where you picked up all this sudden wisdom?\"He rHe refills the glasses.

\"I was always a nasty little bastard wasn\'t I?\"

At my nod he grins.

\"Just because I\'m older and realised I don\'t have to be a Lucius clone don\'t make the mistake of thinking I\'ve changed that much.
I am still selfish and arrogant. I still have an evil streak as wide as a Quidditch pitch, I\'ve just mellowed slightly.\"

I really want to know this, it\'s beyond rude to ask but...

\"No-one told me why you joined the Order, there were rumours of course...\"

Draco stares into his drink, drains the glass then straightens as he makes a decision.

\"I\'ll tell you on one condition...no, two.\"

\"Okay.\"

\"One, it doesn\'t leave the room...\"

Again I nod.

\"Two, you tell me why you really weren\'t at the battle and no bullshit this time, you can\'t protect me like you do Harry. I won\'t allow it.\"

Bugger.


*****

Tbc...


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Susan - This and the next chapter should see more of the background. Thank you!

Jenny7611 - Thank you :-)

scatteredlogic - Omg! Thank you. It is a very creepy challenge and it would completely upset me to have mindless Snape wandering my halls when he is usually so...well..Snapeish.

WizardingAngel - Thank you :-)

Redone - Thanks for telling me, my only check other than me is the AppleSpeak utility and it doesn\'t point stuff like that out *sigh*. Hope I\'ve sorted it this time.

JestersTear _ I\'m really glad you like it. It\'s a really good one to write and I wish I could update sooner.

ancientgirl - He wasn\'t nasty enough to deserve that. :-)

aprilgrey - Another Omg! Not me unfortunately, still new at this writing thing ;-) Glad you like the story though.

Deb >^..^< . - I think the war will help? Harry grow up and there will be more back history when I get me a new Muse beating stick (he always breaks them). :-)

Saphira - Okay I\'m happy *dances more of the jig* I hope this chapter does not disappoint. *hugs back*

liquidscissors - Thank you :-)