Mine

I keep on fallin'... in love with you
Sometimes I love ya, sometimes you make me blue
Sometimes I feel good, At times I feel used
Lovin' you darlin', makes me so confused

I keep on fallin', in and out of love with you
I never loved someone the way that i'm lovin' you


Oh Oh, I.... never felt this way
How do you give me so much pleasure,
cause me so much pain,
'Cause when I
think I'm taking
more than would a fool I start
fallin' back in love with you.
-Alicia Keys, Fallin

*

I opened my eyes dazed and confused as I felt a dull ache inside my head but it didn¡¦t bother me as much as when I widened my eyes as I noticed the unfamiliar surroundings around me. Just a small wooden floored small room with old red walls, I couldn¡¦t see any other furntiure in the room from where I was sitting, but all I could think was where the hell am i!

"I wish I hadnt found you but I happened to and seeing as you were practically bleeding to death I had to help", a voice I remembered said by the side of the bed I wasn't facing, I turned round and almost fainted as my heart skipped a beat. It wasn;t real-it wasn't possible.

"I killed you", I gasped and pushed myself back and then sighing, I must have really whacked my head now its making me see things

"no you didn't, well I guess you deserve an explanation at most. You-know-who gave me an ultimatum: die by your hand or disapear, of course he knew I wouldn't care if I died, better to get it over with, but by your hand? No, I couldn't have that. Strange the dark lord gave me the choice of life and death but I know it was just to make me suffer, I either die with no pride or live with nothing, I would prefer to wait till I can die proudly"

"Its really you isn't it. He made me suffer and all the time you was alive", I dumfoundedly looked into the eyes of Ron. Pale and gaunt, his fiery hair completely lost in his cold self. It was true, I hadnt killed someone I loved dearly and that just filled me with warmth and a smile.

"Its me and I was extremely annoyed when I found you, im not supposed to be near you and if I am found within contact of you I will probably be thrown into Azkaban, and I don;t need that. I only helped because I would probably be given the same fate if I was found to be the one who left you to die, though you cant"

"So everyone does know then, news travels fast, I wouldn't have thought seeing as you live in such small village"

"I still get the daily prophet delivered, I need some sort of normality in my life", he spat

"Do you really hate me that much?"

"Why wouldn't I? you are the reason so many I love are dead! Be grateful I healed your head though you will probably still feel it for a couple of hours"

"Thank you"

"I don't need your gratitude, I just need to stay out of Azkaban", he sneered but then wiped any tears from his eyes before lowering his voice sadly but angrily at the same time, you were my best friend, why did you have to change?"

"I didn't", I tried to reason with him

"You aren't Hermione Granger anymore, the girl I used to love as my best friend is long gone"

"I'm still Hermione, but I'm just married to a complete bastard who is probably the most evil man in history. You think it has been easy for me and I enjoyed all what has happened? Let's look at it shall we, first I'm kidnapped, tortured, raped and forced to work as a slave for the dark lord! I was made to watch others feel pain before being murdered before my very eyes and I was treated worse than a house elf at times! You think I enjoyed all that? If you really think I loved watching my friends dying and having to make such cruel decisions, losing everyone I love and the ones who lived hated me" I cried with tears streaming down my face. "I'm sorry what I have done has hurt so many people but I won't apologize for finding some happiness during the horrors I encountered"

"I'm sorry about what you went through but marrying the dark lord? Falling in love with him? Becoming the dark lady or whatever they call you? That doesn't seem like you're that sorry-"

"I didn't want to marry him when he forced me to and I certainly do not like being called the ¡¥dark lady¡¦, but I admit I fell in love. Stupid maybe but it can't be helped, fuck I shouldn't have left-"

"-left?", he cut in.

"I left because I thought he didn't care, I'm so stupid!", I whacked my own head but instantly regretted it as I layed against the back of the bed, "im sorry, but I cant believe you're here, still alive, I never ever thought this would happen!"

"once your head gets better you can go back to wherever you came from. You know I should be in Hogwarts, completing my NEWT's but of course I cant, im not allowed and anyway, how did you happen to arrive a few yards away from my home?", he eyed me suspiciously, this isnt some sort of trap is it?"

"It was pure coinsidence and you know I would never do that to you Ronald! You may hate me but at least I know im still me, now I know I apologised to you finally my mind can rest, I tried", I pushed myself up out of the bed noticing I was still wearing what I was before I fell. I sat on the bed facing him but with my head bowed as I felt my small bump, happy they couldn't be harmed inside me.
"Ill leave then if you want me to go, I don't want to intrude on you"

"I didn't mean-", Ron stutted going a bit red, "I mean..."

"don't worry, im sorry for everything I have ever done to hurt you or anyone, as long as you know im not a bad person then im fine"

"I guess I should accept your apology, it's the least I can give you", he admitted awkwardly, "Ive adjusted to my new life now anyway so lets say im used to the new world, and well im engaged actually, I met a muggle down the village a few months ago but I love her, dad would have probably been proud"

"wow, congratulations!" I smiled, "well, I wish you happiness for the future"

"thank you", he avoided eye contact with me and he was a bit red still, I know he probably hates me a lot but we were best friends for so long in the past I guess we still had a link.

"I still love you as if you were my brother, you were always there and I wish I could have turned back time and not got myself kidnapped and forced to do all those terrible things, but I cant so I hope that even if you don¡¦t like me that you could at least trust what I say is true"

"I do. Hey-whats that?", he frowned confused as he pointed at my bump noticably showing in the position I was sitting.

"Im, well", I pulled up my clothes to show my baby bump to Rons gobsmacked face, "well yeah", I lowered my clothes again.

"well, I didn't expect that", he coughed going redder than ever, "congrats as well I suppose..."

"Thank you Ron...if only things had been different eh?"

"tell me 'bout it, well I don't know what to say as im still pissed at you but I suppose im glad we've finally spoken"

"likewise. Well, I know your not happy with me but I would like to see you again-"

"Im not allowed near you but I think I would have like to as well, seeing as you're an old friend I don't see many these days. But you can go home knowing I have forgven you", he said quietly making me beam, I stood up and hugged him like we were best friends again.

"Thank you, you don't know how much that means to me!", I gasped with tears in my eyes, "I know of course you arent 100% with me but what you just said means more than anything!", I let go and couldn't wipe the smile off as I sat back down. "I think...well if you want, can I stay a little long-fuck!"¨, I cried as I felt a familiar pain across my arm.

"What is it! Its not the baby is it?"

"No", I looked down at my arm with tears in my eyes from the pain to see those eery words carved in my skin, "just the dark lord"

"what the fuck", Ron said horrified at the blood glistening and dripping onto my lap.

Return or be taken

Almost exactly the same words as before, they healed as soon as they were read but the pain could still be felt and the blood stayed, I disgustedly cleansed it away and lay back against the bed as I kneeled on the floor.
"he's not happy, I can tell because he wouldn;t carve words into my skin if he just missed me. I knew I shouldn't have left but I was going to return almost as soon as I did but I banged my head just before...eurgh!"

"You better go then, im not stopping you"

"its nice to know you want me here", I said sarcastically, "Im sorry, I just made a stupid mistake, acting like a spoiled child and im taking it out on you. I need-well I want to go back but I want to spend some time with you as well, if you'd like that? I think the dark lord can wait, just a little bit"

"I didn't know he was the sort of wizard who had a lot of patience"

"No he hasn't got much of that, but I promise I will return soon, he will find me if I don't soon anyway-don't worry! If he does come you wont be punished, ill just say a varitaion of the truth, you found me and healed me, I just woke up a few minutes before he arrive. I probably wont even need to tell the story as I will go"

"Ok, its up to you"

"thank you. So what do you do these days?"

"I work in my brothers joke shop, they were lucky to keep it open actually but you know Fred and George-"

"they're ok? Thank Merlin!"

"Yes well, they can get themselves out of anything, they're the only people I have really but I only work in their shop on a weekend when they are away working on new products so I rarely see them. They still do the jokes to keep peoples spirits up, they are quite popular actually"

"Wow. At least that's a good thing"

"Yes it is, things are normal in that sense¡Khow about you? You know what I mean, hows life in general?", he asked casually

"Fine thank you, I have everything I need and I do love my husband for some reason", I laughed, "I have no idea you know"

"I would like to know actually, seeing as he destroyed your life and everything", Ron said coldly

"I know I shouldn't techinically but I love him more than anything, im sorry if that disapoints or disgusts you but I cant help how I feel. I hate how evil he is and I refuse to take part in anything that involves death or pain, though im sometimes forced to", I lowered my eyelids out of guilt but raised them again as I realised I had nothing to be guilty of.
"Your ashamed of me arent you"

"If you want it blatantly then yes I am. I know you couldn¡¦t help going through what you did but you didn¡¦t have to basically join him willingly, you were weak"

"I was anything but weak Ronald, you try going through what I had to go through, you thinky ou went through so much but I promise you it was nothing compared to what I went through!¡"

"whatever you say", he rolled his eyes angering me but I kept my cool as much as I could.

"I guess ill be going then if we cant get on", I stood up and prepared to apparate but he put his arm on my shoulder with eyes full of sorrow.

"Im sorry I just cant trust you anymore"

"I know and I don't expect you to, I just want us to get on, at least. Im sorry for everything, I don't want to be a bad person and have tried everything possible not to be one"

"You arent a bad person. Come on, ill make you a butterbeer and we can act like were school kids again over a game of wizard chess if you'd like"

And that was that.

Luck was with me when I was found by Ron, and he was alive and ¡¥well¡¦, though he didn¡¦t trust me that much we bonded a lot over the next few hours.

*

"Hermione..."

I whispered her name in my study as I waited, I must be obsessed, my ancestors would be laughing at me if they were alive. The damn girl must be enjoying what she was putting me through but the thing was, I had to have her back, not just for her safety but I simply felt lost without her. Maybe it was because a fragment of my soul resides inside of her and so I would logically miss her, but I just wanted her.

"Milord she will return of course, she is in no danger or you would know about it by now"

"I know but that¡'s not the point, she isnt supposed to leave anyway, back to business. Im going to Hogwarts in about an hour, part some wisdom", I smirked and sipped my muggle brandy smugly.

*

Wizard chess I was rubbish at compared to Ron but I didn't care, it was fun, actual fun. I hadnt had that in so long, doing stuff people my age do, we even went out and made a snowman for a laugh, it was as if nothin had happened between the two of us. I was still in shock that he was alive, but I was more than happy we were almost good friends again.
I had awoken in the morning when I first arrived, it seemed I was knocked out over night so I decided to spend up till evening with him until I would have to leave, latest.

"Im cold", I shivered but smiled at the warmth of his little home as we returned inside

"Attacking me with a snowball was always going to get about 300 in return", he laughed and passed over a butterbeer as well as one for himself.

"I'll remember that in future", I smirked before swallowing the hot liquid happily even though it burned a bit.

"That's something to tell the baby when its older, 'don't do snowball fights, snowballs bad, stay home, read books'", he said like a caveman making me giggle.

"They will read books, but im making sure the dark lord removes all the dark ones from their reach-actually, about 99% are dark so I think I wll just give them the suitable ones"

"Them?"

"Didn't I mention it? Its twins", I looked up at his surprised face.

"Well...two mini dark lords running about wont be easy"

"They wont be mini dark lords as im going to use all my power to prevent any dark business involved in their lives and also I never said it would be easy"

"I meant, well, I just want you to be ok"

"I am and I will be, don't worry about me", I assured him, "thank you Ronald"

"No problem 'mione, its not I ever thought it would be, I imagined checking out the babies father to make sure he would be good enough and help you out whenever you need it"

"You can still help me out like I will help you as much as you need, even if the dark lord doesn't allow it I will do all I can to-"

"I can look after myself", he smiled

"I know and that's why I admire you so much, look I think I have to go, ive been lucky enough that the dark lord hasn¡¦t found me yet but its only a matter of time. I guarantee you that it wiuld be better for me to return than be taken"

"Well I know we've had a rough time but I feel so lucky that I found you and we are friends again, i might never see you again so, well, im going to miss you", I didn't reply but beamed as I hugged him tearfully.

*

"Lucius...kill the muggles in the dungeons, I was going to use them to just take my anger out on but Ive realised I don't need to, im not angry, im not anything", I told Lucius quietly as he bowed in the bedroom doorway. He wouldn't enter as he knew he would be deeply punished but I didn't mind at this point in time.

"If course mi-"

"-milord...", a soft toned voice announced itself in the bathroom doorway, I spun around to see her holding her hands together awkwardly as if unsure what to do, her lips slightly parted like she was lost for words but overall she looked the same as she left. "I-I, erm..."

"You are dismissed Lucius" I let him know but he was gone before I finished the sentence, obviously sensing the tension.

"I don't know what to say milord, im sorry I left, I know I shouldn't have and I regretted it as soon as I disaparated", I laughed and sat in the armchair motioning for her to sit opposite which she did shyly.

"I may have a few drinks in me, but I know I heard correctly...you are sorry?"

"It doesn't sound like much but I returned, I returned instead of being taken, I didn't wait for you to come"

"First things first", I tortured her for a moment just to show her how angry I was, now it was out of my system I could concentrate, "I don't care about your excuses dear, you see im not usually one for forgiving and mercy", I smirked making her visibly nervous.

"Then do what you must, I screwed up I know but I was just angry, surely you know the emotion well by now milord?", she whimpered as she pushed herself up

"ah of course...so you just apparated here as soon as you regretted it? But apparantly you regretted it was 'as soon as you landed;, so that makes it...Ive gone back in time!"

"sarcasm doesn't suit you"

"It suits me better than lies suit you, I don't like lies. You either tell me or I find out myself, either way I will know what happened between you leaving and returning", I threatened casually, she looked at me thinking hard what to say, "so enlighten me about your day"

"I, I apparated into a snowy village and I slipped and fell before I could even think about returning, I woke up to find I had banged my head and had been knocked out, I apparated back here", she replied simply

"I believe you but, that's not the whole truth is it?"

"I don't know what you mean", she said innocently

"Oh I think you do, now don't test my patience"

"I wont then, you want the truth? I will tell you if you promise me something, only punish me", I looked at her and smiked as I agreed, I didn¡¦t care for punishing anyone, I just needed the truth.
"I met a young man I once thought had been murdered...by my hand", she continued at my confused eyes, "his name is Ronald Weasley"

"ah so you met the youngest survivor of the blood traitors, I will enjoy punishing him, he knows not to be near you-"

"no! you cant and you wont harm him, if it wasn't for him I would either be still unconcious on an icey lane or taken by someone much worse! Yes I met Ron, and I am so glad I did, I had fun", I raised an eybrow but she didn't stop to hear me talk. "I was a normal teenager again, I acted my age and did stuff I should be doing!"

"You should be here, doing what I tell you to do"

"because I live to serve you dont I...why didn't you tell me about Ron?"

"Because you needed some discipline, be grateful I didn't have you truly kill him, im not interested in a waste of a healthy pureblood being killed for no reason"

"You made me think I had for so long, it tortured me inside to think I had done that, but I guess I should thank you for sparing him"

"You should be grateful-"

"I've never been ungrateful, ive just been not that good at showing it but from now on things are going to change. I make my own decisions on who I am allowed to see, is that clear?", she spat boldly

"How dare you!", I raised my wand but lowered it as I realised I didn't want to curse her.

"Its all I ask, im sorry, I just want to be able to see Ron again, nothing else"

"Why?"

"because hes potentially the only person other than you and the twins I care about", she got up off of her seat and kneeled herself before me, "Can you please forgive me for leaving milord?"

"You came back when you could of ran"

"Im no fool but even if I was I wouldn't have", she smile kissing my hand, "allow me to keep my good mood?"

*

He did, which I was most grateful for, of course we ended up sleeping together which surprised me as I thought I would most likely be punished severely for leaving, but I enjoyed it and it was like repaying him for hurting him for leaving.

"Would you like a butterbeer?", I asked happily in bed the next morning as I made two appear from thin air-I had learnt how to do it from Ron.

"It seems I have no choice", he chuckled and took a deep sip, "you have had an obssession with the drink lately"

"I actually think im addicted, im constantly craving it! But it seems you crave me as well and your not even carrying any children inside of you", I laughed as I received and affectionate kiss on my forehead as he kept his arm around my shoulder.

"I cant get enough of you even though you angered me quite a lot yesterday...but nevermind, there are more important matters. I wanted you to come to work with me, only to the minsitry, nowhere dangerous of course"

"why?"

"because I thought it would be interesting for you and this way your not bored during the day and get to see other people, as well as me being able to make sure you are learning as well as safe"

"you don't have to worry about me! Im safe, I just made a stupid mistake and left-by myself, no one kidnapped me or harmed me! But thank you, I will love to go to the ministry with you, and I used to want to work there as well..."

"Its settled then, as long as you always address me as 'milord; and don't do anything stupid, im putting a charm on you to prevent you saying a word against me or anything connected to me-in any way"

"Fine. I don't care anymore", I smiled and took his lips deeply, "thank you for understanding and not punishing me as much as I know you would usually jave to any other person"

"Lets just say you bring something out in me and I thank you for that, I love you"

"you don't realise how much that means to me", I whispered as I gazed into the eyes that matched my own colour.

My computer broke and is being repaired, ive been using someone elses for a bit so the chapter isnt what I wanted because all my plot notes were on the broken computer, nevermind I hope my substitue chapter is good enough and im sure you can get over it lol.
So Ron was always alive, and he will be involved in future chapters :) you didn't think I was that evil that id kill off EVERYONE she ever loved?
By the way every song lyric I have at the beginning of the chapter, I have the song on my ipod lol :)
Love the one in this chapter, I think it seriously links to this story!
Still have broken laptop so im really sorry for delayed chapters :\