Bound in Leather

oh lookie here.... another chapter. how ever did you get so fortunate as to stumble across one of my chapters? how ever did i get so fortunate? hmm... i must ponder that. and offer you all a sincere and heart felt welcome. anyone for hot cocoa and cookies? how about hugs? i love to hug.... ~screaming from the background~ who the hell let her in here? get back into the straight jacket! now! before she starts hugging everyone.... oh gods, she\'s heading for the stuffed animals. where\'s the tranquilizer gun? ~scuffling and screaming, a muffled report, then a dull thud~ right. get her back in her cell. our announcer has gone round the bend. ignore her. now, here\'s the short of it. not mine. j.k. rowling\'s. only borrowing. will return them...... eventually. not making money. promise...

next.... be prepared. have the fan and ice cubes hand. smut could just jump out at you at any time and have at you. i should hate for you to be caught off-guard. i know how much it can affect the body temp.

last.... if you like this, please let me know. be gentle with me, though. i bruise so easily. i\'ll do my best to either explain why something is so out of whack, or attempt to fix it to more acceptable standards. please don\'t blast me, though. i tend to shoot back before i ask why you fired on me. i\'m odd that way.

Chapter Nineteen: Thank You. Thank You Very Much
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The sun was setting behind a wall of trees, painting the sky brightly in crimson and gold, in deep blues and soft lavenders. There were even hints of oranges and pinks coloring the heavens above the tree tops. The trees themselves glowed with green and gold, as if they had been covered with faerie sparkles to make them stand out against the beauty of the setting sun. It was peaceful and calming to look at. It was also mildly depressing, as it signaled an ending.

Alasdair was ensconced in a window seat in the living room. The cushion beneath her was covered with a thick velvet in a deep forest green that smelled faintly of some masculine scent. There were a handful of throw pillows decorating the litte niche, all of them in a paler but no less brilliant emerald that both contrasted and complimented the darker hue covering the cushion. The curtains that framed the window matched the seat, a deep forest green velvet that looked as if it never saw the light of the sun.

The room was silent, not even the sound of a ticking clock to distract her from her thoughts. She was alone, her mother once more spending time with Remus. She was glad that the two of them got on so well, but that didn\'t stop the pain that sliced her heart at the thought that her mother had what she wanted. The love of a good man. It was something Al was rapidly coming to believe she would never have.

\'Pardon me, my dear. I hope you don\'t mind if I intrude upon your solitude for a moment,\' the kindly voice startled Al out of her musings and she turned to look at the doorway behind her. A older man stood in the open entrance. He was smiling at her gently, his eyes twinkling almost mischievously behind his half moon glasses. He wore what looked like some kind of elaborate costuming for Merlin, right down to the slightly pointed hat sitting askew on the top of his head. She blinked at him, wondering if she was seeing things.

\'Oh, erm... No. Please. Come in and have a seat,\' she motioned to the sofa while uncurling herself from the window seat. The older man moved with a sort of youthful grace that many children didn\'t have. He settled on the couch, turning to study her as she moved to sit in a nearby arm chair. He smiled at her pleasantly, as if he simply popped up in people\'s houses all the time. \'Can I get you anything?\' she offered politely, though there was nothing in the room to serve him.

He smiled and laughed, then settled back to watch her as she tried to make herself more comfortable. \'You needn\'t be so frightened, child. I mean you no harm. My name is Albus Dumbledore and you are Alasdair. Severus has told me absolutely nothing about you.\'

\'You know Severus?\' she asked him, unable to picture this colorful, happy man in the same room as the dark and dour Severus Snape she knew. He nodded at her.

\'He worked for me as a teacher not so long ago,\' Albus told her. She seemed to relax slightly at this. \' I also taught him when he was a student. I was rather surprised to find that he\'d brought someone to his ancestral home. And I was also intrigued. I simply had to come meet you.\'

\'You wanted to meet me?\' Alasdair sounded skeptical. He nodded at her. \' I can\'t imagine why. I mean, there\'s nothing special about me. I\'m simply a woman with a man\'s name.\'

\'Severus never brings people to his home. Never. For him to have brought you here, you must be very special to him. I felt it was my duty, as his friend, to come and ensure that you were comfortable and looked after. And to perhaps share a few secrets about Severus,\' he winked at her. Al found herself smiling at him, his face open and friendly.

\'Really? Then if we\'re going to do that, you have to stay for dinner,\' she insisted.

\'As long as there\'s some thing sweet for dessert,\' he smiled at her.

Dinner consisted of hastily done up sandwiches and a light salad. It was a rather plain affair, but Al had spent enough time in the diner and in the kitchen at home to know how to make something look more appealing than it was. She\'d taken a few moments to rummage around in his kitchen, rather shocked that it had been so pristine. As if it never got used. But there\'d been adequate supplies in the cupboards and refrigerator that she\'d made them ham and cheese sandwiches on wheat and a light, crisp Ceasar salad. Two glasses of pink lemonade and a shallow dish of chocolate covered mints rounded out the meal.

Albus, as he\'d insisted she call him, was jovial and had a sharp, quick mind. He told her stories of his career as first a teacher and then the Headmaster of a very elite private school, making her laugh until her sides hurt. There had been so many students who had misbehaved in outstanding manners. Most of his stories on that subject centered around a set of twins. She found, as he told about their exploits, that she\'d love to meet the two of them to see for herself if they were as blatantly impish as he said they were.

He regaled her with tales of Severus\' students and how absolutely miserable he made them with his snide comments and waspish tongue. That was something Alasdair found she could believe with ease. The man had a wicked tongue and he plied it regularly on anyone who dared speak to him without his consent. She\'d seen it first hand. \'Excuse me, Albus. But perhaps you could explain something to me. I had an opportunity to meet some of his students. They acted as if they\'d never seen Severus with a woman before. Didn\'t he?... I mean, he never had a girlfriend or anything?\'

\'Severus,\' Albus chuckled gaily before being able to get any more out. \'Was very much the loner. Even when he was a student, he kept to himself much of the time. I still try and drag him from his shell, but he is ever set in his ways. So, in answer to your question. No, his students never saw him with a woman. Nor did any of the staff.\'

Al nodded at this. She saw just how introverted Severus was daily. The man barely associated with people he knew, unless he simply had to. She knew she was something of an exception. He found her interesting for the moment, but she was under no illusion that it would stay that way. The fact that he had stayed with her this long was quite amazing to her. \'He is a bit on the.... stand-offish side.\'

\'That he is. But he seems to care for you, and that is something I\'d given up hope of ever happening. I must thank you for making him realize he still has a heart,\' he told her. Al blushed, waving his thanks away with one hand as she lifted her lemonade to her lips to drink. \'That is no small feat, child. Severus likes to believe he\'s as heartless as any dead man. For him to suddenly find he is concerned with the welfare of someone not named Severus Snape is very much a shock to his system.\'

\'But I didn\'t do anything,\' Al protested. \' I mean, not really. I just...\'

She trailed off when Albus shook his head at her almost sadly, setting his glass of lemonade back down on the table. His smile was tinged with a slight bit of sorrow. \'You have no clue just how important you are, Alasdair. Simply being there for Severus, for seeing him as nothing more than a flawed man, is more than anyone has been willing to do for a very long time. That makes you very special to him and to myself.\'

Al didn\'t know what to say, so she sat in stunned silence and stared at him. How was she to answer such a statement when she was still fairly certain that whatever Albus thought she\'d done was really no big deal at all. But she nodded and smiled politely at him. She stood when Albus stood, not quite sure what she was to do now. He offered her another of his merry smiles and his cornflower blue eyes twinkled at her once more. \'Alasdair, it has been very much my pleasure to meet you. I should like to call upon you again, if you would allow it.\'

\'Oh, that would be nice,\' she nodded. She had to admit that she was feeling rather lonely. Not that she would tell anyone. She didn\'t intend to make anyone feel guilty or spoil the good time they were having. She knew her mother needed Remus almost more than he seemed to need her. And she was truly happy that there was someone in the world who could and would treat her much loved mother with the same amount of dignity and respect that she herself did. \' It would be nice to have a visitor now and then.\'

\'Then I shall make every effort to visit you as much as I\'m able,\' he told her happily. \'Now, I must get back. I have some papers to go over and there simply aren\'t enough hours in the day to do everything.\'

\' I understand. The diner was like that when it was busiest. I could never seem to find the time to really make my customers feel as though they were at home because I had to keep moving from one table to the next,\' Al nodded at him. \'Maybe you should hire a secretary? Someone to keep your important appointments for you. You know... someone to keep track of your time so you don\'t have to.\'

\'That, my dear, is a most excellent idea and I shall, of course, give it much consideration,\' he beamed at her. Al nodded, glad she could help. Though she couldn\'t for the life of her figure out why he didn\'t already have a secretary. But, that wasn\'t any of her business. She followed him to the door, uncertain as to why she felt so completely comfortable with him. He seemed harmless enough and he did know so much about Severus. They remained silent until they reached the main door at the end of the long entrance hall. Al opened the door for him, smiling up at him.

\'Thank you for coming. I had a wonderful time,\' she told him, then looked out the door. It was well and truly dark out. \'Oh my! I didn\'t realize that it had grown so late. Will you be alright getting home?\'

\'Of course, my dear. I may be an old man, but I\'m not without a means of protection. Don\'t fret. I\'ll arrive home safely. Good night, my dear, and thank you for a lovely meal and wonderful companionship. It was most appreciated,\' he told her sincerely.

\' I enjoyed it, too. Thank you so much for coming and breaking up the monotony that has become my life of late,\' she replied with genuine emotion. He\'d been a wonderful guest and she was very sorry to see him go.

\'Good night, child,\' he winked at her, then turned and stepped out into the night. Al watched him go until he was off the steps and down on the walk. She finally forced herself to close the door. Watching the man leave wouldn\'t do anything but make her feel even more alone.

Had she left the door open, Alasdair would have heard a very throaty chuckle. Albus was most impressed with her. \'A strong-willed Muggle woman. Ah, Severus, you always were the one to defy convention,\' Albus murmured to himself. When he was certain that Alasdair was no longer watching him go, he pulled the port key from an inner pocket in his robes. He simply had to get back and talk to Poppy about this young woman his former Potions Master was so deeply involved in.

He couldn\'t wait to tell Minerva about her. The woman would go positively nutters trying to decipher Severus\' next move with the girl. There was hope once more. With a softly spoken \'licorice whips\', Albus was gone in an instant.

~*~*~*~*~

\'Holy shit! Would you look at that? He\'s fucking smiling!\' the voice belonged to Turlough. The four members of his band pushed their way into Severus\' hotel room and stared at him. He had to admit they\'d caught him with a rather incriminating look on his face. He didn\'t smile often, but he had to smile as he thought of the night before with Alasdair. They had slept in one another\'s arms all night and he had woken this morning to find her completely curled about him. It had been both pleasant and frightening. He\'d hated leaving her side again, but she\'d put on a brave face and told him his public needed him more than she did. The woman was a terrible liar.

\'Contrary to popular opinion, I do know how to use the muscles about my lips for more than scowling at people,\' he jibbed, not at all meaning it to be snarky. The men laughed at this. Then Deek broke away from them and moved over to stand next to him.

\'How is Al?\' he asked softly. Both men knew what he meant, though the question was innocuous enough that the others would simply think the blonde drummer was asking after her health.

\'She is much better,\' Severus murmured softly. Physically, she was well enough. He wasn\'t so certain about mentally yet. He glanced from one face to the next, noting that there was some kind of sly look on their faces. Each of them actually wore the same look, as if they knew something he didn\'t. He found himself suddenly very distinctly nervous. \'What brings all of you to my rooms in such a manner?\'

\'We\'re going out on the town and we want you to come with,\' Fallon told him.

Severus lifted a brow at them. \'Out on the town at only,\' he checked his watch. \'Two in the afternoon? Whatever is the matter with you?\'

\'Oh come on, Severus. You need a break from reality for a while as much as the rest of us,\' Jesse informed him. \'Dude, we\'re in Las Vegas! Sin City! There\'s always something to do! Come on, man. Get dressed in some of your Rock Star finest and let\'s get out there! This place is just waiting for us to happen!\'

He stared at them. They were all dressed in some of their finest off stage wear. Turlough had on leather and a ripped up t-shirt that bore the name of the band Led Zepplin on it. Fallon was in jeans that had more holes than material to them and a dark blue shirt that buttoned down the front. Jesse wore jeans, as well. Though the weren\'t ripped to shreds, they were written on in paint, the colors loud and vibrant. Studs decorated any area that hadn\'t been marked. He wore a leather vest with a tie-dyed shirt. Deek was in a pair of skin tight leather pants that Severus knew were worn so well, they were soft and supple. His shirt was fishnet, several of his fingers pushed through the larger holes at the ends of the sleeves to make a sort of glove.Even Clarette stood at the back, wearing something black and tight.

\'What do you say, dude?\' Fallon watched him. He could see by the looks on their faces that they weren\'t about to leave him behind. He could plead a case of death and they would drag him out with them. He sighed, his scowl coming to life as his arms crossed over his chest.

\'You will not let me alone until I do this with you, will you?\' he asked them.

\'Nope. We won\'t,\' Turlough informed him, nodding his head.

\'Then allow me to change so that I may match the rest of you in attire,\' he turned and moved for his suitcase. \'Kindly step outside and allow me my privacy, thank you.\'

Severus waited until the lot of them had stepped out into the hallway before opening his suitcase. He sifted thought his clothing, wondering what would be considered appropriate for going out on the town. Finally, he settled on a shirt of silk that caressed his frame like a lover\'s hand. It was in black, naturally. The trousers he pulled out were a pair of his leather ones. They were well worn and formed to the length of his legs and the curve of his buttocks. Topping it was a frock coat of black linen, reminscent of his teaching clothes. There was a myriad of buttons on the arms and down the front, each of them covered in cloth. He took a moment to do something with his hair, finally deciding on letting it hang long and loose down his back. When he finally stepped out into the hallway to join the rest of his bandmates, he was scowling intensely.

\'Dude,\' Fallon nodded. It was their cue and everyone of them headed for the elevator. Severus was certain that he had a bery bad feeling about this.

~*~*~*~*~

They went from the hotel to a small music store and gave a rare appearance. Those that were in shopping were shocked and elated to see the band. Many autographs were signed and pictures snapped before they left and climbed back into the limo they were using. Severus listened to Turlough, Jesse and Fallon talk about the fans and which chick had the biggest boobs. He had to smile wryly. Some things never changed, no matter what they did or where they went.

The three of them sat on one bench, the other filled with Deek, Clarette and himself. Those two were wrapped around one another and Severus couldn\'t help but feel a moment\'s sorrow that he couldn\'t be more open with Alasdair. She deserved someone who could devote himself to her the way Deek seemed to have devoted himself to Clarette. The two of them were happy and, though they would often argue loudly about something, nearly inseperable. It also made him feel the slightest bit jealous, because he felt that he was missing out on something that could actually be quite wonderful if one was with the right partner.

And some part of him keep insisting that Alasdair was the right partner, the right one for him.

His better sense scoffed at him for that. He was intelligent enough to know that sentimentality had no part in his life. Nor did wishful thinking. He\'d never been an overly emotional individual and he had no plans to start being such now. Still, it didn\'t quite quiet or satisfy the part of him that thought he could find a certain amount of happiness with Alasdair. She seemed to care a great deal about him and that had nothing to do with the fact that he was who he was. She truly saw the man beneath the myth and legend.

That, unto itself, was a powerful form of aprhodisiac. In all of his many long months as a lead singer in the rock industry, never once had he come upon a woman who could look at him and see that, beneath the make up and the glare of lights, he was nothing more than a man. A human, fallible creature. The idea that she could do such a thing was terribly humbling to his over inflated ego. He wished he was a man of great, lyrical words and flowing poetry. Simply so he could put some of these emotions into written or verbal prose and express them to her. He was not, though. No amount of wishing could make him anything other than what he was.

He was a man, with limitations and faults. Just like everyone else. There was no softening of his nature for her. It simply was not something he felt could ever happen. He didn\'t wish to give Alasdair a false sense of hope about what kind of future the two of them might have together. If they were to even have one. He just couldn\'t see a sweet, gentle young woman like that wanting to have anything to do with a snarky old bastard like himself. The entire affair was becoming vexing.

A hand on his shoulder startled him from his introspective thoughts and he looked up to find the door open, bright sunlight spilling into the back of the posh car. He was the only one left in the vehicle. Deek smiled in at him. \'Come on, dude. We\'re here,\' he told him, then stepped back.

He slid out of the car, squinting against the harsh glare of the sun while his hand fumbled around in his pocket for a pair of dark sunglasses that he could use to cut the blinding light. When he could see, he looked up and scowled so intensely that the rest of his companions stepped back a few paces in fright. \'What is the meaning of this?\' he demanded in a tone that was so icy, it would amke Eskimos in Alaska freeze.

\'Just come on, dude,\' Turlough motioned to the doorway. Severus crossed his arms over his chest. \' Its not like it will hurt you or anything.\'

\'This is not my idea of going out and having a good time,\' he snapped. As a matter of fact, he was certain he\'d rather go back to Death Eater activities and Revels than step inside the building before him. Those, at least, did not make him shudder in revulsion.

\'It won\'t be long,\' Fallon promised.

\'That\'s right. We\'ll only be about thirty minutes, then we can go paint the town red. Or black. Or whatever other shade appeals to you,\' Deek coaxed. Severus lifted a brow in his direction. \'Dude, I swear. After this, anything you want to do, we\'ll do.\'

He wished he had his wand. But it was locked away in the trunk in his room at the hotel. Under a heavy series of wards and spells that would take most magical folk a good day or two to unravel. Which, he decided, was a good thing for his bandmates right now. If he\'d had his wand handy, he\'d hex them to within an inch of their lives. As it was, all he could do was scowl at them for indeterminate lengths of time.

\'Please, Severus?\' Clarette asked him softly. There was an almost pleading look in her eyes and it was that look that saw him relenting. He sighed, dropping his arms to his sides in defeat.

\'Very bloody well,\' he snarled in a manner which he thought might be similar to that of a caged lion. \'Let\'s bloody get this over with.\'

Smiling at him, Clarette slipped on arm between his side and his own arm then did the same with Deek. Then she stepped forward and lead them all into the building. Severus was certain he\'d lose some of his claim to the title of the biggest prick in the industry for this.

A young man who was on the phone stood behind the desk. He was dressed in a well tailored suit in charcoal gray, his tie a soft blue. They waited while he finished his conversation up, then glanced up and offered a huge smile to the collected group. \'Welcome to the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel. I\'m Brent. How may I be of assistance?\'

Severus cringed. The man was not only sickenly sweet, he was a bloody pouf.

\'My name is Deek. I called last night. This is my fiancé, Clarette. We picked the Las Vegas Elvis wedding,\' the blonde said clearly. Severus had to grit his teeth to keep the groan from slipping out. This was his punishment for being a Death Eater all those years. For thinking he was above reproach, this was how he was to serve his penance.

\'Yes, sir,\' Brent smiled and stepped out from behind the desk. \'Why don\'t we get your lovely bride ready? Donna, you have a blushing bride to be!\'

A woman came out of a door behind the desk and moved to Clarette\'s side. \'Come along, dear. Let\'s get you all glamored up for your big day. We\'ve already gotten the halo made and we simply need to check it to see if its to your specifications. Even as we speak, there is a woman busy putting your bouquet together. Now, were you going to wear a wedding dress or did you want to wear what you have on?\' the woman lead Clarette away.

Deek was shown to a private room, leaving Severus alone with Jesse, Fallon and Turlough. They stood there, the three of them smiling at him stupidly, while he scowled back menacingly. In a few moments, a woman dressed as a Las Vegas Show Girl came out to escort them all to their seats. As far as Severus knew, she could actually be a Las Vegas Show Girl.

He groaned inwardly at the room. It was what appeared to be an exact replica of one of the casino\'s stages. Lights were on over the small stage area where he was certain the ceremony would be performed. Fog poured from a hidden machine, clinging to the floor and hiding it from view. A few moments passed, then the lights went down and music filled the air. Severus didn\'t hold back this groan, knowing the music would swallow it up.

A single spot in blue came up and out came an Elvis impersonator. He was singing \'Viva Las Vegas\' while gyrating his hips obscenely and pointing at the three of them as if there was a room full of screaming, swooning girls beyond the border of fog and light. When the song ended, some of the lights came back up and Deek and Clarette walked up the center aisle to stand before Elvis.

Severus didn\'t know if he wanted to rn and hide, snarl and hex, or simply laugh helplessly. He had never thought to see Deek get married, and certainly not by Elvis. While he refused to knock any one for their dreams, this seemed to be a little much to him. Though, judging by the looks on Deek and Clarette\'s faces, they were loving every moment of this twisted nightmare.

He listened to the two of them say their vows to one another while the King presided over it. The urge to laugh was hard to control. Not that he wanted to laugh at them. It was more that he saw a great deal of twisted humor in the situation. They were being married by a man pretending to be someone else while he was simply pretending to be a mere man. The irony was not lost on him.

He had to admit, though, that Clarette seemed to positively beam with joy over the wedding. Ridiculous as it was, this was her idea of a dream wedding. He wondered then what Alasdair would consider her dream wedding. Did it include being joined by a man in a white sequined jumpsuit and a rather overdone pompadour? Or did she see a lovely little country church and a long, flowing white dress with several small girls dancing about in fluffy, frilly pastel pink gowns. Would her ideal wedding include him? Did she actually love him enough to want something like that? Did she love him at all?

The train of his thoughts had suddenly turned rather disturbing and, no matter what he tried, he coudln\'t force them away from a simply enchanting image of Alasdair\'s upturned face wreathed in smiles, a halo of white tulle surrounding her beautiful face as she gazed adorngly up at him. Bloody hell! Where had that come from? Severus started out of his thoughts to find that Elvis was once more singing and a photographer was snapping a few photos of the happy couple together.

\'Dude, come up here! You need to be in the pictures, too,\' Deek was calling to him. Severus scowled and thought about telling them no in every possible way he could think of. But Clarette was staring at him hopefully. And that look was his downfall. He didn\'t know when he\'d gone so soft that a look from a woman was all it took to turn his mind against him. But he stood and dutifully made his way to their side. He was positioned behind Clarette as the photographer snapped several more shots.

Then, to his utter horror, three more Elvi joined the first on the stage. They all sang together, working their way over to join the wedding party for the last of the photos.

Soon enough, the lights came back up all the way and the fog started to disappate slowly. The four Elvi moved as one to a door hidden in the back corner and slipped from the room, leaving only the band and Clarette standing there. The five of them looked positively giddy with the experience. Severus felt as though he needed to go find the men\'s room and vomit.

\'Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the building!\' a voice rang out over the p.a.

\'Thank Merlin for that!\' Severus intoned.

~*~*~*~*~

The club pulsed with loud music, something that Severus found he could get lost in. He was trying to hide. From both rabid fans and his own irksome thoughts. After the ceremony had finished and everything had been squared away, they had left the chapel and gone in search of a party. They had found a loud rock club where they planned on celebrating Deek and Clarette\'s nuptuals long into the night. Severus had gotten himself a strong drink and slinked off to the corner to mull over his reactions and how truly disturbing they had been.

When it had become obvious to him that his thoughts were going to drive him to distraction in moments, he\'d shut his mind off and simply felt. He felt the burn of the alcohol as it made its way to his throat. It did nothing to stop the feeling of emptiness he had, as if some important part of him were missing. He didn\'t dare ponder too long on what that could possibly mean. He didn\'t think he was ready to face those inner demons yet.

\'Come on, Severus. Join the world and have some fun,\' Clarette said as she took the seat across from him. Her face was flushed with happiness and heat, her hair dampened with sweat. He lifted a brow at her, prompting her to go on. \'We wanted you to be part of the ceremony. Not to hide from it and us. You\'re our friend and we want to see you happy.\'

\'That is very generous of you. And I am truly happy for you both on your wedding. I am afraid I am a little out of sorts. Thank you for your concern,\' he remarked as gently as he could so as not to ruin the joy of the day for her.

\' If you love her, you should tell her,\' she returned, studying him intently. He found he didn\'t like the assessing look he was giving her. She reached out and covered his hand with hers. \'Look, I know it isn\'t my place. But I can see that you care for her. And, judging by what I\'ve seen of her, she cares for you, too. She may even love you. She might not let you know how she cares because of who you are. Not the mean, nasty you. The Rock Star you. I don\'t think she thinks she can compete with that part of your life. If you want her in your life, in all of it, you need to let her know she\'s wanted.\'

He opened his mouth to snarl out a reply to her, to tell her it was none of her damned business. But the truth was, she was right. If he cared, she needed to know he cared. From his own lips. He just didn\'t know if he did or not. Severus snapped his mouth closed and nodded curtly at her. She beamed a smile at him, one that told him she knew more than he thought she should, then she stood and hurried off to find Deek.

Severus sat at the darkened table for a very long time after, his mind turning over what she\'d said again and again. If he wanted her, he had to tell her. So very simple and yet terribly hard. If he loved her, he shoudl tell her. What a firghtening thought.

But, the question was.... did he love her? Something told him he might, but that there were no easy answers to that dilema.

Bugger it all. He was a bloody sheep.

end chapter nineteen.
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as usual, thanks to my support group. they all know who they are and they know i love them muchly. i hope i never lose their support or friendship. that would just be a terrible loss.

as with other chapters, this is entirely self-beta\'d. so, any mistakes are entirely my own. hopefully there aren\'t too many. if there are, i\'m sure i\'ll get them fixed eventually.

finally, if you like, please leave me a little note. i do so love hearing from you.

to jeannette(dragon34): oddly. i could see him as one, too. i don\'t know why i pictured him in this role. but i\'m so glad i did. i love writing him as a bastard. this is so much fun. i\'m glad you enjoy this humble little fic as much as i do.

to Echo: thanks for the review, hon. you know i appreciate it muchly.