Mine

As long as he needs me...
Oh, yes, he does need me...
In spite of what you see...
...I'm sure that he needs me.

Who else would love him still
When they've been used so ill?
He knows I always will...
As long as he needs me.
-As long as he needs me-Nancy, Oliver

*

We were at Hogwarts, in the great hall to be exact in front of probably hundreds of people from all parts of the country, no students could be seen (though I noticed Draco and a few of his cronies smirking near the back) but the teachers were present. I didn’t know what to feel as I stood next to, well slightly behind Voldemort as he spoke boldly and strongly to the crowd, I wasn’t even listening to him as I felt like a mascot. A symbol of his power.

I was in shock when we arrived at the ancient school, even more when I noticed how it had changed, of course it was still a warm and inviting place but it felt different. Maybe just so many loved ones I had been with only a couple of years ago used to be here in this very castle, now they were gone. This castle was once a place I loved, now it just haunted me with memories I no longer wished to have. I didn’t want to remember my time at Hogwarts anymore, it just hurt me to think how things were and how they had changed, it was just easier to feel like Voldemort was all I had ever had.

I didn’t say a word for the time I was there, I looked down at my toes as he spoke, I didn’t care what he had to say, it would just bring misery. I looked up while still blocking out what he was saying when I noticed almost the same thing as I saw in diagon alley, a man whispering aggressively to a young woman while holding tightly onto her shoulder making her visibly wince.
I watched them carefully up until I heard applause from the crowds and Voldemort nodding his head as if ending his speech appreciatory but merely it was him saying ‘I could kill you all in an instant so don’t piss me off‘. I turned back round to see the man lowering his wand and the woman with a noticeable gash across her arm, like a knife had sliced it swiftly but painfully, her eyes were filled with tears as she bit her lip and held onto it to stop herself from screaming. I knew he had done it with a variation of Sectumsempra, just a smaller version and it angered me a lot.

I knew I shouldn’t have but I couldn’t control it, I marched down from the stand Voldemort stood at and to the man who seemed-as well as everyone else, surprised.
“is there a problem milady?”, he emphasised the milady as I knew he didn’t believe I should be a lady, I was only a slave in his and basically everyone else’s eyes even if I was the dark lords wife.

“There might be, could you explain why she has a slice across her am which wasn’t there a minute ago?”, I looked over to the woman now trying to cover it up.

“I don’t know what you mean”, he smirked, infuriating me even more.

“don’t toy with me”, I said in a deadly tone

“she disagreed when I told her she would be…staying the night with a colleague of mines”, he smirked broader making me laugh to his surprise.

“not a good enough answer”, I punched him in the jaw unexpectedly making him groan out in pain and fall back onto the floor, he quickly got up angrily with his wand out of his pocket again

“why you-milord, im terribly sorry but-”, he quickly changed his tone and hastily stuffed his wandback into his robes, bowing to the man behind me.

“that’s enough”, Voldemort said tonelessly, I hadn’t noticed but now everyone was looking my way.

“oh I don’t think so”, I went for another punch but my fist was frozen in midair by Voldemort and dropped back to my side before I could get in contact with the mans face.

“I do. Now go up there and I want you to explain what and why you did it, as I want everyone to know what a complete fool you have been”, he sneered dragging me in front of everyone.

“fine”, I growled then made my voice louder with my wand, “as all of you-or most of you witnessed just now, I tried to knock out that wizard down there. And do you want to know why? its because the bastard deserved it! You see you might all be pure-bloods or have all the money in the world, but that gives you no right to treat others like shit. All of you who do, deserve to rot in fucking hell-”, my sentence was cut off with a punishment from Voldemort. A ‘small’ crucio for a few seconds before pulling away, I couldn’t stop screaming and once he finished I was left gasping on the floor.

im sorry Hermione but you brought that on yourself I heard his voice in my head, what the fuck! I can communicate inside your head using legillmency, now I know that punishment may have pissed you off but you were making me look bad…
“No one is to threaten her, no one is to touch her, no one is to use any magic on her and no one is to harm her in any way”, Voldemort boomed aloud to everyone. “I have no patience and will not be as soft as I have been from here forth, if I can torture my wife in front of you all, I will not hesitate for others…I will not tolerate harm to those who do not deserve it, you”, he looked down at the man I punched, “why did she attack you?”

“I do not know milord-”

“you fucking do! You hurt that woman for no reason, she is a human being not a puppet or a toy!”, I cried furiously

“that is enough!”, Voldemort gripped my shoulder, “I think everyone needs a reminder of what I can do to people…”, He then all of a sudden spoke the incantation to the cruciatus curse and tortured a selection of muggles who were cowered to the side I hadn’t noticed before, their screams made me feel sick but he seemed to enjoy it. I looked over to see quite a lot of people not at all disgusted at what he was doing, I grabbed his arm and tried to lower his wand but he didn’t.

“please stop it! They haven’t done anything!”

“I wasn’t going to punish you again so I decided to punish others in your place”

“please, please punish me instead! This isn’t right!”, I screamed but he just finished with the killing curse and the muggles were dead, “fuck. Why did you do that!”

“I told you”, he said to me, “now you weren’t listening to my speech was you. You didn’t hear what I had to say about what is going to happen, slaves are going to be given harder work and less choice-”

“what! But-”

“but…but you didn’t listen to me finish my sentence. I have decided from now no servant shall be harmed in any magical way, forcing them, beating or whatever is still allowed though, I do not care what you have to say”, I looked up at Voldemort open mouthed, how confusing can someone get?

I get what I want and so do you, this way I hear no complaints from you
“im not going soft but I believe its because of this overwhelming sense of power for individuals that is why there are distractions and lack of effort from the general population. Giving servants some freedom may benefit me, only those I allow personally I believe should be able to harm another being magically, including my deatheaters”, it was a start.

“I guess im supposed to thank you, but were all human, no one should be treated as a slave but I know of course you wont change that”, I spat, “you have still pissed me off though…why would you do that anyway? Lessen the harm that can come to them?”

“because I know it will help me out”, he said quietly to me, “I think only a handful of people can cope with the load of power felt when controlling a sla-servants and that’s why I have suffered problems from my empire lately…”, he explained but I wasn’t listening once again, I saw someone I didn’t recognise raise their wand up at me. Before I had time to register what they were doing I was struck with the killing curse, blasting me back into the castle wall, it was unbearable pain but I had to bare it, it was the force of the wall on my spine that hurt the most. I didn’t move, just lay not wanting to get up but I could hear several gasps and screams.

“The dark lords wife is dead!”, I heard someone cry before Voldemort shouted a stunning spell into the opposite direction.

I knew I was bleeding pretty bad but I eventually found the energy to slowly push myself up, I heard dozens of gasps and then silence, I still sat but it was clear I was alive. Voldemort thankfully healed my injuries though I was still weakened from the Avada Kedavra, as I lightly stood leaned slightly onto Voldemort who had him arm around me for support I became more aware of my surroundings.

“what happened?”, I asked dazed

“I think you were just killed milady”, someone said a few feet away in shock making me laugh to everyone’s surprise once again. I felt like saying, ‘oh what, again?’ but there was a time and a place…

“take the man to my dungeons and keep him stunned”, Voldemort ordered a couple of deatheaters to his right, which they quickly obliged by dragging the unconscious man from view, the man who tried to kill me.
“You may be wondering what just happened there”, he addressed the audience of wizards and witches, “I myself, can currently truthfully say I have no idea why it happened and that will be found out by the end of this day. My wife is very powerful, she, like myself cannot die, not anymore. That is all you need to know, anyone who questions me or my followers will not be in too good condition afterwards…”, he announced before picking me up in his arms and leaving. The look on everyone’s faces of shock and bewilderment was hilarious but I was to exhausted to laugh.

Once we were back in our bedroom he lay me on the bed and kissed my forehead.
“im sorry. Whoever did this will suffer, thankfully the babies cannot be harmed unless you actually die which isn’t going to happen now is it”

“I don’t care milord, people are always going to want to kill me because of their hate for you, though most people bow down willingly there’s always going to some people, I suppose now at least people don’t have to bother trying to kill me as they know its not possible…”

“there’s a bright side to everything”, he said cheerfully which didn’t affect me in anyway happily.

“So what’s the bright side of you torturing me?”, I lowered my eyes to avoid his gaze.

“You stepped out of line, so you were punished. Now don’t complain as I don’t want to hear it, its not a big deal and it taught you a lesson”

“I’ve known that lesson since the first day I was here milord. But no, its not a big deal is it? Not to you…you might as well get going, if your just going to torture that guy…”

“he tried to kill you and your talking as if you feel sympathy of some sort for him? I forbid you to feel sympathy-or any other emotion I do not give you permission to feel, for anyone!”

“you forbid me? And now I cant even like someone or hate someone?”, I questioned annoyed, “fuck it, if you cant trust me to even feel emotions now I don’t know why im here!”

“you’re here because you are my wife”

“no. you say you love me but do you even know what it is? You do though don’t you, and that’s why you will always win. Because you know everything and even with the best thing in the world you can twist it into something evil”, he looked at me carefully, “Im here because I happen to be pretty powerful and you want it for yourself milord, I carry your children yet you still don’t think twice to hurt me. You need to sort it out big time”. he looked a bit saddened by what I had said and I regretted saying it as soon as the words left my lips.

“you better go to sleep, being hit with a killing curse can drain you of your energy so rest”, he said

“Fine”, I rolled over to face away from him but he just apparated to my other side and sat on the bed.

“you are angry at me because of a lot of things, just remember what you can be happy about, that might help”

“I don’t get that pissed lately but I think you bring it out in me”, I barely smiled but it was there, I hated being able to give in so easily, but I felt bad about what I had said even if he had tortured me. In my eyes, hurting someone emotionally is far worse than anything physical, from experience.

“sleep well and maybe when you wake up you can find it in you once again to forgive me”, he kissed my hand like a gentleman which made me giggle before he left.

He is such a bastard but I love him all the same. Maybe, just maybe things will work out. Properly.

*

“Crucio!”, I growled once again to hear the prisoners screams, once again when I finished he lay panting weakly until he gained enough energy to push himself up to lean against the cold stone wall. “You have felt nothing yet, this is just the start!”

“I don’t care, because I know that when I die, I know I hurt you! You have not a scratch on you but I saw your face when you saw her thrown against the wall, bleeding, broken and weak. You knew she couldn’t die, but it hurt you to see her in pain, I saw it in those eyes of yours…”, the man laughed. I kicked his stomach making him yelp in pain, his hands were chained to the wall and he was clearly in pain but still he laughed.

“Why do you want to be tortured?”

“I want to be with my family, in the afterlife, I know now at least I brought them some vengeance. You had my wife, daughter and son slaughtered for not giving away my daughter to the death eaters, apparently she had to be a slave as no one in my families village was one. Of course she was the nearest one to fit the standards needed you fucking bastard! So you had them all killed instead, leaving me to suffer. But you see, I made your wife suffer”

“so you think this makes us square?”, I smirked getting ready to torture him again

“square? To be square I would have had to kill that wife of yours and then have the child she is carrying forced to be a slave and then kill that as well-”

“you speak of a child?”, I grabbed his short hair tight, demanding to know how he knew

“What you didn’t know was that a lot of people want their revenge on you, take your wife’s healer for instance…I suspect you have no idea what you have put people through but I believe by now news of your wife’s pregnancy would have spread fast. And the healer, though a friend of your wife, I daresay and enemy of yours, she is dead, I killed her when she told me knowing you would do it anyway”, the man told me psychotically, this man was mad. “before you kill me, I warn you to keep that dear wife of yours safe, she is quite a lust stirrer…”, his words drifted as I killed him in rage.

I punched the stone wall out of fury making me wince subtly but it wasn’t the pain that affected me, it was the fact this worthless man was right. It hurt when I saw her in pain, news would have spread easily by now about Hermione and she was a very beautiful woman, so many times had I caught my followers lusting after her. The sods already had all the girls they needed but it was just because it was Hermione, I originally would have liked for her to be fucked by every deatheater I had but then things just changed when I married her. Love it seems

A few hours later Hermione wasn’t talking to me and still upset from the news that her healer was dead, it didn’t affect me so much as so many die but them two had made a bond maybe, friends possibly?
“I don’t want another healer, I don’t care about it, I can do this myself now! I will only see a healer when I have to and I promise you, you cant force me to this time!”, she cried angrily

“why are you so upset with me?”

“because you’re the reason she and so many others are dead! If you made things fair all this wouldn’t happen milord!”

“life is unfair, its up to you if you see a healer or not because I am growing tired of this pettiness”

“you think I would be ok with you because you passed a law that no servant can be harmed magically, that is only the smallest improvement but then you made it worse by saying they will be treated worse basically! Now just leave me alone!”, a tear fell down her cheek just before she turned away to look into the fireplace

“No, you always knew I wasn’t a good person but you keep acting like I should be or have been, I wont ever change now you can either be ok with that or go”

“go?”, she turned back round to face me in surprise.

“yes just go if you don’t want to be here, leave. I don’t want you here if you don’t want to be with me, you aren’t a slave, just a captive if you wish to be elsewhere. So here I am, releasing you from this ‘prison’ that is here, there’s no security keeping you here its all down to you!”, I growled. I couldn’t believe I was saying it, not as much as her who was now crying silently before dashing off into the bathroom.
I groaned as I sat in the armchair staring into the fire, crackling and warm against my skin, it felt nice to feel warmth it just wasn’t as good as Hermione’s body.

I didn’t mean to say those things, I was just so angry and sad at the same time, I just wanted her to know what I truly was. A dark, evil and sadistic wizard who though he had fallen in love, he had only changed for her, I was still exactly the same murderous man, I just didn’t do it that much around her.

I was tired, and she needed a break from me so I fell asleep where I was.

“milord! Milord!”, I heard a squeaky voice calling me, I sleepily opened my eyes to come face to face with an insignificant house elf

“how dare you awake me when I do not need to be disturbed!”

“but sir! Miss is gone!”

“what?”

“miss left the grounds just now!”, it squeaked nervously. “miss didn’t tell squishy where miss is going, squishy couldn’t stop miss when miss was sad”

I quickly stormed through to the library to see she was nowhere to be seen, a small note was left on the table which I hurriedly picked up.

Sorry

She left. She doesn’t want to be here, with me. I actually felt the most sad I had ever felt in my life, I loved her yet it seemed she didn’t back. I couldn’t shed a tear even though I felt I needed to, tears were long gone from my system…fuck, how was she doing this to me!

How could she willingly go? So easily after everything?

*

Why did I do it! I screamed inside my head when I apparated away into a snowy village of some kind, I had no idea where I was I just arrived anywhere. It was snowing and freezing cold as I was only wearing a thing robe over my clothes. I started to wish I hadn’t left but I felt I had to, but before I could make that decision I slipped on some ice and fell. Then it went dark.

________

Bit of a crappy chappy but this week my computer broke so i lost some work, next chapter will be better quality i promise.
(A/N update: My computer is getting repaired this week so i wont be able to continue my story until the weekend probably, i hope to have it posted by monday though, sorry guys)