A Turn for the Better

Chapter 18 ~ Getting Past the Final Hurdle

Next on the list was reconnaissance. Hermione and Neville needed to actually make it to the second floor bathroom after curfew without being caught. Harry and Luna patrolled nightly, and Filch was ALWAYS lurking about with his cat, Mrs. Norris, who was a bit of a problem herself, because she could scent them. Then there was Snape. No one ever knew when he would pop up and now Hagrid was added to the crew.

"There's just so many of them," Hermione complained to Neville as they discussed the problem. "If we get caught before we get there, and with all the items we'll have, it will all be ruined. We have to come up with a foolproof plan, Neville."

They were seated outside of the castle on one of the stone benches in the garden. They had finished supper and retired there, adding a Silencing charm to insure privacy.

A good thing they did too, because Snape was also in the garden, watching them. But he couldn't hear what they were saying. It was obvious, however, that the pair was very focused.

Neville frowned as he thought about it. There had to be some kind of way to get an idea just how everyone operated. Then he got a thought.

"I'm on it, Hermione," he told the witch.

Hermione blinked at him as he stood up.

"What are you going to do, Neville?" she asked him.

"I'm going to go straight to the source . . . or one of the sources," he replied, walking off.

Hermione hopped up and followed him.

Snape watched as they passed, Hermione desperately trying to get Neville to tell her what he was going to do. Unfortunately, neither gave any details about it. Well, their sneaking off and casting Silencing spells around themselves was very suspicious. Whatever they were discussing, they didn't want anyone to hear them. It was enough for Snape to continue watching them.

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Neville told Hermione she had to leave him alone in the Common Room with their other housemates, or what he planned wouldn't work. Hermione was furious he wouldn't tell her what he was going to do, but he assured her he'd give her all the details once he accomplished his "mission."

They entered the Common Room. Prefect Dean Thomas and Ronald Weasley were engaged in a game of Wizard's Chess, Seamus Finnegan watching them play.

As Hermione stomped up the stairs to the girl's dormitory, Neville sauntered over to the game, greeting everyone and watching until Ron won. He was a wiz at Wizarding Chess. The broken pieces repaired themselves and scuttled over to their positions as Seamus replaced Dean at the table.

Neville looked at Dean for a moment, then said in a low voice, "Er . . . Dean, I wanted to ask you something. I know you're a Prefect and all, but I was hoping you'd help me out."

Dean looked at Neville suspiciously. It sounded as if he wanted him to do something against the rules. As a Prefect, he couldn't do that.

"What do you want, Neville?" Dean asked him.

"Well . . . you see, there's this girl . . . in Hufflepuff . . ."

Neville wove a tale of seduction and possible female penetration that made every wizard at the table stop and look up at him. Any time a wizard managed to shag a witch at Hogwarts, it was a cause for celebration among all the young males. And every one of them would do what they could to help a potential shag along.

"So you see, Dean, I want to meet her somewhere in the castle without getting caught," Neville finished, declining to give the imaginary witch's name. "I was hoping you could give me some tips how to do that."

Dean smiled and rubbed his hands together. Yes, he was a Prefect, but this situation superseded his sense of duty. This was about Shagging. Shagging took precedence every time.

"Well, I can tell you some spots, but what you have to worry about is actually getting by Harry and the rest of them," Dean told him. "Harry's easy and predictable. He starts at nine o'clock, goes straight through the floors and back down. He doesn't search really, or double back. But if he catches you and you're not a Slytherin, he always takes the full points allowed."

So once Harry got past the second floor he wouldn't be a problem.

"Now, Luna . . . you never know where she's going to pop up or when. She wanders around the castle at all hours. Filch has a real issue with her, but he can't do anything about it. But with Luna, she always takes the least amount of points and if she catches you shagging, she doesn't write it down. She just gives a basic 'out after curfew' note and gives you condoms. She's pretty cool, student-wise, but as a Head Girl, eh. Not tough enough. She lets Harry run the show almost on his own, which he likes."

Neville took this tidbit in with a bit of interest. Still, Luna could be a problem.

"And gods, Filch? You never know where that crotchety bastard's going to be hiding. He scares the shit out of Prefects as much as students. I think he gets off on it. He likes shadows and niches. Avoid really dark areas, but . . . that's no guarantee you'll get past him. Mrs. Norris will follow your trail if she gets a sniff of you, and Filch follows her like she's a bloody bloodhound. Really tricky to get past him. But he's usually in the lower floors. If you get up to the fourth floor, then you can be all right. I think it's all the stairs. He's not in that good a shape. He has arthritis."

Damn. The bathroom was on the second floor so Filch would be a real problem.

"Mr. Hagrid is always hanging around the second floor for some reason, but he's not too observant, so you might slip by him. He's supposed to be looking for Stone Gougers, but he'll turn a student in if he catches one."

Double damn.

"Snape is worst of all. You can't hear him coming, you can't see him . . . nothing. He's like a bloody ghost in black. He has no set time when he patrols and he goes all over the castle, except for the part where Moaning Myrtle is. No one goes there really, but I don't advise you to shag there even if you can get by Mr. Hagrid and Filch. Myrtle is a real cockblocker, believe me. Don't even bother."

Neville looked pretty glum. There were just too many variables. They'd never manage to avoid everyone. His face fell.

"Doesn't look good for a shag at all," he said to Dean as the other wizards looked sympathetic.

Dean shrugged.

"Still, it's worth a try . . . a shag is always worth a try," the Prefect replied.

Neville began to walk away, when suddenly his shoulder was gripped. He turned to see Ron holding him back.

"Hold on, Neville," he told him, "I tell you what . . . if you're willing to give me a Pensieve of the shag, I can help you get past everyone," he said in a low voice, looking around to make sure no one heard him.

Neville frowned at Ron. He was really a randy bastard. He wanted a Pensieve of him shagging somebody? Merlin.

"A Pensieve?" Neville repeated.

"Yeah. I just want to . . . watch," Ron said with a twisted smile.

"And wank," Neville said with a snort.

"Yeah, that too . . . but I have something that will really help you out, Neville. Come on and let me show you," he said, walking toward the stairs that led up to the boy's dorm.

Hermione watched them. She had Disillusioned herself and loitered about on the upper landing, but she couldn't hear what Neville and Dean were talking about. Now he was going up the stairs with Ron. She couldn't follow or even come down. Her shimmer would be noticed. Damn it. She wished she knew what Neville was up to.

Ron brought Neville into his room, which he shared with Dean and Seamus. Neville had his own private room because his parents paid extra for it. Posters of the Chudley Canons hung on the wall around his bed. Since being abandoned by Harry, he dumped the Bigonville Bombers as his favorite team in retaliation, not that either James or Harry noticed.

Ron pulled out the bottom drawer of his nightstand, then removed the junk inside it, then a false bottom. He took out a folded parchment and looked at Neville with a wicked smile.

"My brothers Fred and George gave me this when they graduated," he said to Neville, opening and eyeing the parchment as if it were made of gold.

Neville wasn't impressed as he looked at the large, empty piece of old paper.

"What is it?" he asked.

In response, Ron said reverently, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

Suddenly, the parchment filled in. It showed Hogwarts castle and the grounds outside.

Neville stared at the map. On it were tiny people. There was Luna, Hagrid, Snape, Filch and Harry. It showed where they were.

"It only shows people who have a reason to be seen," Ron explained, "It's called the Marauder's Map. Fred and George lifted it from Filch's office ages ago. It's how they got around to do all their pranks. It even shows secret passages leading from the castle."

Neville was stunned as he looked at Snape in his office and Luna wandering outside the castle. Filch and Mrs. Norris were lurking near the library, and Hagrid was in his hut. Harry was in the Slytherin Common Room. He looked at Ron with round eyes.

"That's . . . that's bloody amazing, Ron!" he gasped.

"Worth that Pensieve?" Ron asked him.

Neville nodded.

Ron handed Neville the map.

"To clear it, all you have to say is 'Mischief Managed,'" the redhead told him.

"Mischief Managed," Neville intoned, and the parchment cleared. It was blank again.

Neville looked at Ron.

"Thanks, Ron," he said gratefully.

"Not a prob, mate. Just hang on to it, and give it back with the Pensieve when you're done," Ron replied good-naturedly. "Just try and be creative when you shag her, do a lot of different positions, ones that show you really pounding her."

"Sure, sure," Neville said, still staring at the parchment, not even thinking about how pissed off Ron was going to be when he didn't get his wanking aid. He was a perv anyway.

But Hermione was going to have a Manticore when she got a load of this.

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"This is marvelous, Neville!" Hermione exclaimed as she looked at the Marauder's Map, her brown eyes wide as she took in the location of everyone that could cause them problems. "We'll be able to make it to the bathroom easily with this. How did you get Ron to give you something this valuable?"

Neville ran his finger around the neck of his robes for a second.

"Well, he wanted to help me out," Neville replied evasively.

"Help you out? Doing what?" Hermione asked him curiously as Neville reddened.

"Well, I told Dean I wanted to find some place in the castle where I could shag a witch from Hufflepuff . . ."

Hermione scowled.

"Why would you ask Dean that? He's a Prefect, Neville . . . he's not going to tell you how to break castle rules," she declared.

"Well, I knew he would if he knew I was trying to . . . to be with a witch. Wizards help each other out when it comes to stuff like that. So Dean told me how everyone operated after curfew. It didn't sound as if we stood a chance, but then Ron offered to let me use this map if I . . ."

Neville faltered.

"If you what?" Hermione asked him. "What did he want in exchange?"

"A Pensieve of me shagging the witch," Neville mumbled.

Hermione stared at him, then said, "Wizards are all such pigs! Honestly, Ron is just . . . disgusting, wanting to watch you shag someone. Ew! And I can't believe you agreed to that, Neville!"

Neville looked at Hermione as if she were crazy.

"Hermione, I'm not going to be giving him a Pensieve of that . . . I'm going to be facing a basilisk, not shagging anyone, although . . . to be honest I'd prefer it was the latter," he admitted.

"Pigs," Hermione muttered, shaking out the Marauder's Map and staring at it in rapt attention. Then she thought about it. She turned to the wizard, who had sullenly stuck his hands in his robes pocket and was scowling slightly.

Her eyes softened. She was forever giving Neville a hard time. She was lucky he let her boss him around the way she did, although he wouldn't let her walk all over him. But Neville knew Hermione was bossy by nature, so mostly took it in stride and just went along until he couldn't take it any longer and straightened her out.

He looked on the verge of doing just that, actually . . . but Hermione knew he'd done a fine job of getting around the curfew problem. So what if he took advantage of the ever-randy nature of his housemates? It wasn't as if Hermione didn't know what it was like to want to have sex, and what's more, she'd had it already. Neville and probably Ron hadn't yet. She shouldn't be so hard on them. She immediately set about making things right.

"But that was smart of you, Neville. You probably couldn't have gotten the map otherwise. Sometimes, you're a genius, you know that?" she said to him with a smile.

"Maybe being around you all the time has rubbed off a bit," he said, smiling back at her.

"Maybe, but I think a lot of its just there already," Hermione replied, "now, come sit down. We've got planning to do."

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A/N: All right, the dragons are all lined up in a row now. A way into the chambers, a way past everyone who could stop them (maybe). Now, all that's left is . . . well, we'll have to see, won't we? Thanks for reading. ***