Potions in the Moonlight

((AN... very rarely put an AN at the beginning but I thought it necessary... Chapter title dedicated to Sneakyfox who's review made me laugh for a good ten minutes... lol... From personal experience I've noticed that most men are relationship retarded and we are making Snape and Remus NO exception... but fear not... we know what we are doing xD))



Severus sat in the great hall the next day at breakfast and knew that both Remus and Lucius where staring at him. Though Remus a bit more subtly. He ignored both and ate his breakfast still wondering what he should do.



He wanted so desperately to go and talk to Remus but he couldn't help but think about what Lucius had told him the night before. He picked at his food between bites. To be honest he wasn't very hungry. He felt more sick than anything.



He glanced over to see Lucius grinning at him as if he already knew what his decision would be. Snape looked back down at his food and pushed his plate away. He felt absolutely disgusted with himself that he would even consider breaking up with Remus.



He had to talk to him. He waited until Remus left the room and followed after him.



"Remus?" He asked wincing at how pathetic he sounded even to his own ears.



Remus turned his head stiffly, keeping as much emotion from his voice as possible. Sirius and James had coached him through how this confrontation could go. He did all he could to mask the hoarseness in his voice.



"What." It wasn't even a question.



Severus flinched at the tone of his voice.



"I..."



"Want to apologise? Or tell me I am dead to you?"



"Apologize for what? I haven't done anything!"



Remus still hadn't fully turned to face the boy he loved as he shoved his hands into his pockets.



"Look Snape, can we keep this conversation short, I've got work to do..."



"What did I do wrong Remus? What is this about?"



"How's Malfoy?"



"What are you on about remus? He's fine and about annoying and self absorbed as usual."



"Whatever, just do what you want it honestly doesn't bother me... he's your "friend" so please feel free to do anything you want. I'm sick of caring."



"Remus why are you being like this?" he asked putting his hand on his shoulder. Remus pulled his shoulder away from him still refusing to look at him. "LOOK AT ME!" Snape said loud enough to draw the attention of the students in the hall around them.



"God's sake Severus! What do I have to look at you for? After everything you said and still you and him..."



Severus grabbed onto him and pinned him against the wall. "Remus listen to me. I don't know how that looked to you but there is nothing between me and Malfoy." Remus looked away from him not meeting his gaze. "Remus... I need you!"



"So I've only ever been your emotional prop? Because you can't get enough love and attention from Malfoy?" Remus spat, his hands shaking. he knew he didn't really mean what he said, but all his spite and rage had been bottled up so long it all came flooding out.



"I don't care about Malfoy, Remus!" Severus said. "Why can't you understand that?"



"Because I love you Severus." Remus shrugged his bag over his shoulder and slouched off, swallowing his sadness.



"Funny how easily you can proclaim your love yet won't trust them."



Remus paused, his back to Severus.



"I love you Severus," he repeated. "How many times do you think you've told me that."



Severus took a step away from him and shook his head. "Apparently I was wrong." he said. "You don't know me."



"Right now, I don't want to." Remus was at the door and away, his bag hitting the door as he left.



Severus shook his head feeling disgusted. He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked away.



---



"I wish you would stop moping like an adolescent girl and just forget about him."



"What are you complaining about?" Snape asked as he sat in Lucius living room. They, or at least Lucius, thought it would be more comfortable and more private if they floo'd to Malfoy Manner to talk matters over. "You got what you wanted. You won... just like you always do!"



Lucius curled up in his chair and smirked cruelly.



"Oh I chose not to see this as a matter of winning and losing, there was obviously nothing close to competition from the filthy half breed."



Snape nearly snarled at Lucius as he stood in front of him. Even though he was fully dressed still in his Hogwarts uniform he felt utterly naked under the mans cold gaze.



Barely registering Severus's obvious anger he waved his hand absently.



"Oh for God's sake, do sit down and stop getting worked up about nothing. You've made your choice, that's why you're here, There's no use whining about something you can't change."



Severus sighed and glared at Lucius. "So what now?" He asked. "You got me... you're going to help me get custody of my sister right?"



"Yes yes, why must you always fret so? I said sit down." Lucius still had his cold eyes fixed on the younger boy, his legs still coiled under him like a very dangerous snake.



Snape sat down feeling very uncomfortable. "And then what? You said you wanted me but... if I have my sister..."



"Provisions will be made for her here for the next year... and then for you." Malfoy's smile had faded, he was studying Severus's face for any hint of betrayal. "That is of course, on the condition that you behave yourself." He placed particular emphasis on the word 'behave', his voice at a dangerous tenor. "As a matter of fact." Lucius said holding his hand out to Snape. "I believe if I am to do such a mammoth task as saving your sister... I think I deserve a small payment in advance?" He said with a sly smirk on his face.



Snape shivered. He knew what Lucius wanted. It made him sick at the thought of doing this before he even officially broke up with Remus but... if he wanted to save his sister...



Snape closed his eyes a moment before he rose from his chair and moved to Lucius, taking his hand and allowed himself to be pulled a bit closer.



With a dangerous smile Lucius tugged him down and laughed.



"Well aren't you being compliant."



"Fighting you would be futile and against the terms of our conditions. It would defeat the purpose of me breaking up with Remus and trying to save my sister." Severus said not looking at him as he was pulled into Lucius lap. "What is it you would like from me?"



Uncoiling his legs with a purr Lucius arched his eyebrow and pushed the young Slytherin to his knees at a very convenient height.



"I want you right there."



Severus looked up at him, his eyes almost looking like a sad puppy. If Snape could see the look in his own eyes he would probably be able to see Remus's sad expression on his face. He looked down at the crotch of Lucius' black pants and felt his eyes water. He clenched his teeth before he pulled the black leather belt loose.



"You catch on quick Severus. You know what to do."



Lucius slid his cool fingers into Snape's hair pushing him down.



Snape grimaced and pulled Lucius out of his pants. He was still soft, no doubt this man had enough control over his cock as any experienced man did. He somehow knew Lucius wouldn't cum until he wanted to... which means depending on the mans mood, he could make this either easy on him... or prolong it longer than the young teen desired. He cringed and closed his eyes taking the flaccid cock into his mouth and sucked at it eagerly. This felt so wrong...



With a soft chuckle, Lucius pulled non too gently on his partner's hair.



"Slowly Severus, I know you're not that inexperienced."



His voice dripped with arrogance, he had all the time in the world and he wasn't going to waste it.



Great so he's in that kind of mood... Severus thought. He looked up at Lucius as a tear fell down his cheek before licking the underside of his cock. Lucius was becoming harder and harder against his mouth. He took him back in and sucked on him slowly his tongue slithering against him his throat vibrating against the tip.



And Lucius still did not make a sound. He tightened his fist and Severus swore he could feel the older boy smiling.



Severus tried his best. He paid as much attention to Lucius soft sac as he did to the hard shaft that was only slightly bigger than his own. He didn't know how Remus could do this to him so easily. It was harder than it looked. Severus pulled back a moment needing to breath and pumped him with his hand before taking him back all the way trying not to gag on his long cock.



But Lucius wasn't going to let him off lightly at all, hissing sadistically he braced his legs and snapped his hips upwards, sharply. He relished the tightness around him even more when Severus choked, taken by surprise.



Severus grabbed onto Lucius thighs and tried to push him back down as the hands on his head prevented him from moving away. His eyes watered and his face turned red from lack of oxygen as he tried not to throw up. His whole body was tense as he tried to pull away from him. He needed to breath. He felt his eyesight start to spot black before him and felt himself become dizzy.



Slipping away, but not fully, Lucius continued to smile and snap upwards, occasionally loosing a soft hiss or a groan. His long fingers were still firmly anchored against the younger boy's scalp.



Severus tried to fight against him but it was no use. The best he could do was try to relax his throat and breath when he was allowed too. But that wasn't very often and he continued to get dizzier from the lack of air.



Waiting for his total compliance, Lucius continued to lazily fuck the boy's face. It was like a game to him. The pleasure he received from the act was minimal, the pleasure he received from inflicting this on another human was intense.



Severus relaxed a bit as Lucius eased up a bit, his thrusts becoming lazy. 'Just fucking cum already.' Severus silently begged. He tried moving his tongue against him but his lazy thrusts gave him little control. He was having a hard time thinking. He just knew that he wanted to leave. To push Lucius away and walk back and huddle into Remus' arms and beg for forgiveness. But he knew that he couldn't... for his sister.



Lucius didn't care where Severus's mind was right now. He knew that the harder he thrust the more Severus choked and clenched. Keeping one hand tightly entrenched in Sev's dark hair, he brought his other hand down to stroke the boy's face. All the while with a smug smile plastered across his thin face.



'Just pretend it's Remus...' Severus thought. 'You can get through this.'



Noticing the slight slackening of Severus's jaw Lucius pulled away slightly.



"I suppose you are under the impression that if you drift away and pretend I am someone else then this will all be easier for you. Well it won't." He dragged Snape's head up to look him in the eye. "I am not that easily ignored, Severus."



"Just take what you want from me." Severus ground out.



With a sneer Lucius couldn't resist a cool laugh, forcing the boy back to his knees.



"Don't give me that Severus unless you want me to just forget about our agreement and let your sister rot."



"I'm doing what you asked! You have me on my knees right where you want me." Snape said "What more could you possibly want?"



"You know what I want, Severus..." Severus wanted to sneer at him but knew that would be a bad idea. He sighed and took Lucius cock back into his mouth.



Lucius forced him back down again groaning as Severus took in his cock all the way and gaged as he was forced down. "Keep that up Severus and you're going to make me cum." He said. "Do you want me to cum?" He asked letting go of Severus' head. He took the opportunity to pull away so that he could breath. "Well?" Lucius asked.



"Yes sir." Severus said stroking his cock.



"Is that all?" Lucius asked bored though he could feel his orgasm building. Severus looked up at him confused. "What is it you want Severus?" Lucius asked.



"What I want?" Severus asked before realizing what it was Lucius wanted. "I want you to cum Lucius. I want to taste you, I want you cum in my mouth, on my face."



Lucius closed his eyes as he listened to Severus' voice. The boy wasn't attractive in the least. But he had a talented tongue and a voice that would make anyone swoon.



"Keep talking..." Lucius said. "What are you?"



"I'm a whore... I'm your whore... always..." He said as he rubbed his cock harder and faster. Lucius breathing picked up and he could feel his cock pulsing in his hand. "Just yours." He swiped his thumb over the tip and heard Lucius groan.



"Faster" Lucius said making Snape pick up the speed of his hand. He thrust against his hand. Lucius leaned forward angling his cock towards Snape's face. "Open your mouth."



Snape closed his eyes to cover his cringe of disgust as he opened his mouth. He tried not to flinch as Lucius came, the white fluid squirting into his mouth, the majority of it landing on his face.



Lucius did not remain long after his completion. He sauntered off back upstairs, leaving Severus with the house elf. It wasn't like he mattered much anyway.



Severus slowly made his way back to Hogwarts after cleaning himself up and slipped into the castle thankfully unnoticed.



He sighed and made his way to the library to catch up with all the work he had missed. His exams would be soon and he had almost two months of work to catch up on in such a short time.



----------



James could hardly understand his friend's words through the thick pillow. Remus hadn't made much sense for the past few hours. He never made much sense these days.



James honestly didn't know what to say. He had never seen Remus this upset before. "If you want to talk Remus... I hate to be a prick but you have to stop talking into your pillow."



Remus pulled his head and screamed.



"It's not my fault James! I didn't do anything wrong, if he doesn't want to treat me like I'm worth anything, then that's his problem. He knows how much I love him and how badly I want him to trust me, but he just doesn't. Like I don't matter! Like I don't fucking matter James! I couldn't take it; he's always keeping things from me, I tell him everything. He knows EVERYTHING about me! I hate him..."



"No you don't Remus. You're just upset." James said putting his hand on Remus' back. "Snape just... he has trust issues I would think."



"Yeah he does," Remus shrugged the hand away, snapping. "And he expects me to trust him all the time."



"I'm sure he expects you to trust him on the big things that matter... cause they matter to him. But I'm sure he trusts you to a degree. You just need to talk to him. Get him to see things from your point of view. Give him a reason to trust you. Help him through what ever it is he's going through. I know you over heard what Sirius said but honestly, as much as I hate the guy and how much I hate to admit it... I see the way he looks at you. I don't think he would cheat on you."



Remus scrunched his hand into his unkempt hair, recoiling from his friend.



"I don't want to think about it."



"Remus, you're going to have to face it sooner or later. I think it would be better to be sooner than later." He said. "And if you don't want to talk to him about it it would still be good for your self to talk to someone. Maybe the school councilor or me.... don't talk to Sirius he'll just find a way to make fun of you or make Sni-... Snape's life worse..." He said as a half hearted joke. "But you can talk to me if you'd like. I'll try to help."



Curling up, fully clothed under his blanket, Remus sighed and shut his eyes.



"I don't need to talk to anyone, Severus can do as he wishes and I shan't stop him."



"Remus.... tell me..." He paused wondering what he should say first. "How did you and Snape start dating? What made you... drawn to him?" James felt odd asking these questions but... he had a purpose.



Making a sulky noise, Remus pushed the blanket off him.



"I dunno... he was just... there was... there was something about him. I recognised something of myself in him. And I hated to see him upset. Because of you guys really..."



"When did you start dating?" James asked. "Like... officially?"



"Uhhh..." Remus wracked his brains hard... when had it been. Had they ever truly said those words? Just one day Severus had been his 'boyfriend' and that had been it. It just made sense. Like an unspoken truth, nobody needed to mention.



"I guess it just kinda happened." He said. "We were..." He paused not wanting to tell James about what had happened in the prefect tubs. "Well... it just kinda happened."



James wasn't sure whether he wanted to smirk or shiver when he realized what Remus was going to say. He settled for an understanding smile.



"What do you like about him the most?"



Remus took a second, playing cautiously with his hands, his mind skipped over every inch of Severus and settled on the rarest, most beautiful thing he could think of.



"... his smile." Remus paused, thinking again. "Or his eyes, or the way he voice sounds when he's tired, or hungry, or annoyed, or turned on... his shoulders! He has perfect shoulders... Oh fuck it, I don't know James! What a mad question!"



James smiled. "Do you want to throw this away over a silly argument or a lack of communication? You don't really know what's going on with him and refusing to talk to him isn't going to solve the problem. If you really do love him Remus..."



In his smallest voice, Remus shoved his hands underneath the pillow, his eyes closed.



"I do love him James..."



"Then go talk to him Remus." He said. "You don't want to throw this away. With all that's happened how would you feel if something happens and you never see him again before you have the chance to talk to him. At least if you talk to him now you have the opportunity to say you tried."



"Alright alright. Whatever." Remus jumped out of bed and wandered out the door. All this big talk was bluff, James cared about Remus but not Severus. As far as he was concerned their relationship was only an engine for Remus's happiness; if they broke up, Remus would be miserable. Remus sighed.



At least he tried to care. Remus found Snape in the library as he so often did. He was sitting at a table with a huge pile of books no doubt trying to catch up.



Remus hesitated a second longer than was bearable, before taking a tentative step towards the laden library table. It felt so reminiscent of that afternoon in the library all that time ago...



"Sev?" Remus asked. He saw Snape visibly tense his hand clenching the quill in his hand. "Sev we need to talk." Severus loosened his grip on the quill and continued writing.



"Why? What's the point? You don't want to hear what I have to say anyway... You just want to believe what you want."



"That's not true Sev I was just.... I was upset." He said. "I figured you'd trust me enough to tell me the truth." Snape glared up at him and angry sneer on his face as Remus sat down across from him.



"I was telling you the truth." Snape sneered. "You're the one who doesn't trust me..."



"Sev I know you well enough to know when you're lying." He said. "I know you weren't just talking about why you where in the hospital. Sev tell me the truth... are you.... are you interested in Lucius?"



"NO!" Severus yelled at him earning a few looks from the students around him and an angry chastising from Madame Pince.



"Then why do I keep walking in on you two standing so close together?"



"Cause he's a sick fuck that thinks he can get away with anything!" Severus said. "His actions don't effect what I do or who I am! Just because he has certain influences..." Sev paused and moved back to his work.



"What?" Remus asked.



"Nothing..." Snape said continuing on his transfiguration homework.



"Snape..."



"So I'm Snape now?" Severus asked. "When did that start? Before or after you stopped trusting me?"



"Sev..." Remus paused feeling a bit hurt and not knowing how to continue. "I love you..."



"No... you love the idea of being with me. Just as I've pointed out before. You don't care about me. You don't give a shit about me just like no one else in the bloody world gives a shit... All you care about, are you're beliefs and the things that you seem to think are facts. You're EXACTLY like everyone else..."



"Sev..." Remus said trying to put his hand on Severus'. Severus pulled his hand away.



'I can save your sister.' Lucius' words echoed in Snape's head. He didn't want to but....



"No... you had your chance... I forgave you everything... right down to turning me into a fucking werewolf cause I thought we could make it work... but no... you're the one that fucked up not me!" He closed his book. "Oh and by the way. If you're so adamant on believing that I'm hooking up with Lucius on the side... maybe I will... we're over Remus." He picked up his books and walked out of the library leaving Remus stunned at the table.



Snape walked hurriedly through the halls and to the common room. He reached his room grateful that there was no one there. By the time he reached his bed tears where flowing freely down his cheeks. Why was life so unfair. He wanted nothing more than to go to Remus and tell him he was sorry. To beg on bended knee to allow him to take back what he had said. But it was already to late. The damage had been done.



His sister would be in his custody. She would be safe, she would be happy. In trade for her safety... he gave up his freedom... his happiness. He gave up himself so that his sister could feel alive again.



(( New chapter for you all.... sad sad I know



Pasha: WHAT DID YOU DO?!

Schiff: Me?

Pasha: ((cries))

Schiff: I know it's sad but.... we shall see how this goes on yes?

Pasha: Yes we shall go on!!!!

Schiff: ..... anyway.... please review... more to come soon.... ish.... ))