Blackeyed Girl

New chapter! –and this one is betaed for a change! Ari is back to straighten out my unruly writing, so hurray! And thanks a lot!



And I would just like to thank everyone who has ever reviewed this story. The other day I re read the reviews here (kind of sad, I know). I did it cause I needed to focus a little and sort my thoughts on the story and the reviews do help. It is so motivating and inspiring to read your thoughts! You might think it is just about wanting to hear praise and encouragement. But they really do a lot more than that! It is like getting your story mirrored back to you and you see a lot clearer how it is perceived. They really motivate to put more into the story and to think about aspects that you had lost out of sight. So thanks a lot to everyone who has taken the time in the past to leave some words and of course especially to those who keep coming back to the review section to let me know their latest thoughts! You are a huge help and influence! Please keep doing it!



@Daughter of a serpent : I have to say that attack on Draco came from the bottom of my soul. I love Draco but if someone hurts cats I get blind with rage. A friend of mine once made a t-shirt for me. It said: “I’d kill to save a Kitten”.

–P.S.: that is not to say that I am ok with kicking dogs, not at all!



@Ari: tz, how can you say that Lucius is so bad in PoB, I thought he was just lovely… okay I give up, he is a very bad man! ;) But has he done anything evil to Eleanor yet? Well perhaps this chapter …hehe

-P.S.: I agree with your critic on the last chapter and changed it already.



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Chapter 17

Our little Secret

Eleanor did not know how long she was sitting there on the cold tiled floor, pressing Molly to her chest. The kitten’s heartbeat had calmed down, but Eleanor’s heart still hammered away in her chest. Her thoughts were running in circles. How would Mr. Malfoy react to her death threat towards his son? She had no idea; she could easily guess that he would not like it, but it was so hard to imagine what he would say or do and just how angry he would be. She only knew him as the most polite gentleman but she knew he could be different. She did not know why she knew, perhaps because of the look in his eyes and the tone in his voice when he had told Draco to leave the table that first evening at dinner. But even before that she had felt intimidated by him because there was something about him she could not identify. Perhaps it was just those very cold eyes that seemed to deceive his very polite behavior. How serious was it to threaten someone with death in a moment of rage? Would Mr. Malfoy consider the fact that Draco had started it, that he had deliberately put Molly in danger? Would he even care about the cat’s life? Perhaps he was going to make Snape pick her up and she would never see him again. She would just be that girl that he kicked out of his house because she had gone on a rampage and threatened his son and that after he had taken her shopping. She felt ridicules in that expensive dress. Maybe this was a lot more serious; perhaps they were going to tell the ministry about her threats and they would find out that she was capable of casting the most dangerous of the Unforgivables. It was her dirty little secret that she tried to forget about. She had not done it in month. She had friends now, she had a life, she did not need to kill insects anymore. How could she let herself go like this? How could she get herself into such trouble? She knew very well how, Molly was the only innocent, precious thing in her life. If someone only thought of hurting her, she would give up herself to revenge her. But why did Draco have to do this and spoil everything? She had done nothing to him. What would Snape say? Would he even visit her in Azkaban if they locked her up? She tried to calm her thoughts once more. She had not killed anyone. All that had happened was that she had threatened Draco. It was bad, yes, but they could not put her into prison because of it. Mr Malfoy surely was going to be shocked. What would he do? And her thoughts started from scratch again until suddenly there was a popping noise and the house elf Sally knocked tentatively against the bathroom door.



“Miss Prince. My Master requests to see you.”



Eleanor pushed herself up and let Molly to the floor. The cat immediately returned into the corner. Eleanor looked into the bathroom mirror and tried to quickly dry her tears. It was hopeless. Her face was puffy and her eyes red from crying.



She stepped outside and closed the door behind her. She locked the door. She was not going to take any chances anymore. She turned around and saw the little elf looking up at her with frightened eyes.



“Sally is to bring Miss Prince to him immediately.”



Eleanor decided to change back into her old dress. She did not feel worthy to wear his clothes. Then she followed the nervous elf back along the corridor where it all had happened. She could feel her heart starting to beat harder in her chest again. And as they walked along she quietly asked the elf: “Is he very angry?”



The elf hesitated, then said nervously: “Sally is not allowed to speak to anyone who is not a member of the Malfoy family, Miss.”



Eleanor remained quiet. They turned another corridor and there she saw Draco coming towards her. She looked into his face. He was pale and blinking fast as he walked past her. He looked to the floor and ignored her. She glanced back to see him walk away. She did not feel sorry for him anymore. Then the elf held in front of a door. When Eleanor saw that their walk was coming to an end and she approached the door her heart started to hammer in her throat. The elf looked up at her fearfully one last time and disappeared. Now she stood alone in front of the door. She swallowed and knocked.



“Come in!” called a menacing voice.



Eleanor opened the door and entered. Immediately Lucius Malfoy rounded on her, his expression furious in a way that she had never seen or imagined it. She felt as though a wild animal was preparing to kill her with a well-measured bite in her throat. She backed away into the door and heard it closing behind her. She was trapped with the animal.



“Now, what in Merlin’s name went on in my house tonight?” He spoke in a menacing whisper, full of a quiet rage as though not wanting to scare his pray away before he could grab it.



Eleanor pushed herself back against the door just like Molly had backed into the wall under the cabinet. She blinked and stared at her feet not knowing how to deal with his rage best.

“I…” she squeezed out of her tight throat, “…found Draco letting the dogs loose on my cat.”



“And then…?”, he whispered.



“I…”



“You…?”, he helped her.



“I saved her”, she whispered back, still staring at her feet.



“Anything else you would like to mention you did?” he asked, his anger almost overruled by petty sarcasm.



Eleanor swallowed. She knew there was no point in denying it.



“I’m sorry”, she breathed, “my cat is the most important thing in the world for me. I was so mad at Draco.”



“I sometimes find myself mad at Draco, but I have never threatened to kill him. How dare you make such threats in my house?!”



“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it,“ she breathed.



“Kicking my dog in the head… attacking my son and threatening to kill him…” he shook his head disapprovingly, “You scared my wife to death. What were you thinking, you ungrateful twat?!”



“I didn’t mean to do any of this”, she repeated and sniffed as tears threatened to come over her, “I never would have wanted to seem ungrateful to you or anger you. I’m sorry.”



Her shame drove tears into her eyes. She had secretly played husband and wife with him. Now she felt so foolish. She was just some ungrateful little girl to him. She dared to look up into his face hoping to see his intentions in his eyes. He looked fierce and calculating.



“You can be certain that Draco was punished for what he did. His behavior was unacceptable as well as yours.”



She nodded and looked down again. He paused but kept his piercing, angry eyes fixed on her.



“I don’t let behavior like this go unpunished in this house. But out of respect for your guardian I will leave it to him to discipline you. And as I know him, he will take good care of that.”



Eleanor’s mind was spinning. She was so embarrassed and did not know what to think.

Flashbacks of her encounter with Snape’s wooden spoon came to her mind. Would he do that to her again? She remembered her mental notes, which she thought she had taken to heart “Do not anger the Malfoys”, “Do no provoke their son into anything stupid.” She could see how Snape would think she caused this trouble on purpose.



“Do you have to tell him?” she dared to ask quietly, looking past him.



“Do you have another suggestion?”



She shrugged. It was silent.



“Would you rather have me put the belt to you like Draco?”



She had no time to think about how much better it made her feel to know that Draco had been really beaten for what he did to Molly. She blushed, her mind filling with disconnected thoughts, fears and embarrassment. She was not used to physical punishment and the sudden idea to be beaten by this stranger who she had such new and intense feelings for made her mind spin.



She shook her head automatically. Her eyes were firmly fixed on the expensive carpet on which she stood but she could still see the outline of his figure slowly stepping towards her. He stopped very close in front of her. She did not look up. It was quiet. She could hear him breathing.



“Of course… girls get punished differently from boys, don’t they? It’s not so easy”, he was speaking strangely quiet as though he was trying to keep what he was saying secret from someone else but her in the room, “Girls are fragile at your age. You don’t want to put a mark on their precious little bodies…”



She closed her eyes. She could not help but feel that he was saying somehow very dirty and forbidden and she did not know how to deal with it. She could not think of anything. His quiet voice so close to her seemed to paralyze her brain and send shivers through her.



“And yet they have to learn…how to conduct themselves in society”, he paused again, “when they are little it’s easy. You can turn them across your lap and spank them thoroughly and that’s that but when they are older…” he trailed away as though lost in thought, then returned his cold blue eyes back to her closed ones, “you can’t really do that… after all… they might end up enjoying it.”



She thought she could hear the faintest smug in his voice and she had not the slightest clue what he was talking about and yet it sounded so forbidden.



“So what shall we do, Miss Prince?” he asked his voice so full of condescend.



She forced herself to open her eyes and as she did and once again realized how very close he stood she instantly backed away just a little bit, hoping it was subtle enough so that he wouldn’t notice. But that hint of a smile that came across his face told her that he had.



“I will tell Professor Snape myself”, she whispered. Somehow, no matter what Snape was going to do to her, she preferred it to what ever it was that Lucius would come up with as a suitable punishment. She felt as though he was way beyond her with what he was talking about and it scared her.



“I think that is a very good idea”, he said and she relaxed slightly. “Now, there is one more thing”, he said, still in a whisper, “ ‘I can kill… It comes easy to me’ that were your words, were they not? What exactly does that mean, I wonder?” he spoke lightly, as though wanting to clearly hide the fact that his question was rather serious.



Eleanor felt sickness overcoming her: “Nothing. I was just mad.”



“And that is a lie. We can still change our mind concerning that lashing, can we not? I was under the impression the two of us should get along. Now I ask you again, how does killing come easy to a fifteen year old girl?”



Eleanor started to shake. He was so close to that dark room deeply inside her heart. No one had ever been near it. She could not stand it. She felt as though something was pressing on her chest making it hard for her to breath. She suddenly felt so heavy. Her eyes went blank and she shook her head.



Lucius observed her a moment then he turned away and walked over to the window. He picked up a flytrap. It was a glass cylinder with sugar water at the bottom, which trapped flies and other insects inside to die. A bee, trapped inside, was frantically and loudly flying against the glass, looking for the exit in vain.



He carried the glass over to his desk and placed it into the middle.



“Come here”, he said.



A knot forming in her throat she stepped a few steps towards him but kept her distance.

“Take out your wand.”



She looked at him: “But…”



“We make an exception. They won’t detect your under age magic. Take out your wand.”

She obeyed.



“Now show me.”



Her black eyes met his blue ones but she didn’t move.



“You know the curse, don’t you? You have used it before.”



“It is an unforgivable”, she whispered darkly.



“Which has not kept you from practicing it. You know how it works. It comes easy to you.”

“No it doesn’t.”



“But you have used it.”



A single tear rolled down Eleanor’s cheek. She looked up at him desperately: “Can I go, please?”



“No”, he simply replied, “not until after you have pointed your wand at the glass and cast the killing curse. I want to see it.”



Another tear rolled down her cheek and she shook her head.



“I can’t. Why do you want me to do this?”



“Because you can, Eleanor Prince. Now be a good girl and do as you’re told.”



Eleanor only stared, more tears starting to stream down her face.



“You have done it before, uncountable times I bet. What were your victims? Worms? Spiders? Rats? Birds?”



She shook her head.



“Why, I wonder, did you come up with such an exotic hobby? Who were you punishing over and over? Did you enjoy it? Did it make you feel powerful to kill?”



Eleanor kept shaking her head while her big black eyes welled with more silent tears.

“Or were you just exercising your own pain? Over what?”



Eleanor’s face hardened and her eyes seemed to grow even blacker. She raised her wand and pointed it at the glass.



“Avada Kadavera.”



She had spoken with a hard, cold voice and the green flame hit the glass, broke it and the bee lay dead between the broken pieces. Only slowly she lowered her wand again. Her face seemed frozen in contortion.



“Well done”, Lucius said softly. Eleanor lowered her shaking arm. This praise was not something she associated with the killing curse.



“It’s unforgivable.” she breathed.



Lucius smiled: “It’s only a bee.”



Eleanor remained silent and the tears continued to roll down her face. She stood there, eyes fixed on the broken glass. This was not about the life of a bee. She had killed insects before, but this was something private. It was something very ugly that she hated to have inside her. And she had never done it in front of another person. When she was doing this in secret, because she could not help herself, she could fool herself and try to forget about it again, keep it a secret. He had made her demonstrate it meaning it was no longer a secret, it was out and it was ugly.



Lucius looked at her and saw her face contort even more and a cry escaped her, breaking the silence of her tears.



“Hey”, he said softly and walked towards her again, but this time his approach was not threatening. He came closer and softly stroke her tears away with his thumb, “now, now…”, he put a finger under her chin and tilted her head up to look at her face, “how about we don’t tell dear Severus anything about what happened today?”



She looked at him confused: “Why?”



“Isn’t that what you want?” she only glared back, “you don’t want them to know. You did not want me to know either. I am glad you showed me. It can be our little secret. Nobody else needs to know. Would you like that?” He wiped away another tear.



She was overpowered by his loyalty and generosity. She did not want to think about killing anymore, or about getting punished. Sharing a secret with Lucius Malfoy seemed tempting. She looked down, her expression softening and nodded silently.



“Good”, he said with a soft smile and then gave her an unexpected sharp smack on her backside that made her jump and he continued in a less honeyed voice, “but if you keep wearing that shabby dress I’ll kill you.”