Mine

How can you see into my eyes like open doors
leading you down into my core
where I’ve become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home

Wake me up inside (I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside (Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark (Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run (I can’t wake up)
Before I come undone (Save me)
Save me from the nothing I’ve become
Evanescence-Bring me to life


*

“Oh fuck, sorry”, Snape stuttered as he walked in one getting changed in the library, I was in the middle of reading a book about pregnancy Voldemort had supplied because ‘I Dunno…might be useful’, as he put it, and it was just easier this way.

“its not a big deal, you’ve seen me in much less than this”, I said as I pulled on my dress, he turned back round clearly embarrassed and sat where I was sitting before. “so I haven’t seen you in a while, must be hard living it up as minister of magic”, I rolled my eyes sarcastically.

“you have no idea. Where the hell that cat come from?”, he questioned as Crookshanks climbed up and leaned onto his lap”

“I think he likes you”, I grinned which seemed to disgust Snape, “Its my old cat Crookshanks, the dark lord got him back for me”

“I hate cats”, he pushed Crookshanks off of him and stood up so he couldn’t do it again, “wait, what’s this you’ve been reading…”, he picked up my book but I quickly snatched it from his grip, not before he saw what it was though. “Baby books? Why would you…”

“yes, im pregnant”, I muttered and sat down while dropping the book, no point covering it up now.

“how long?”

“it’s the first week of December so im…11 weeks, my bumps already starting to get noticeable so im wearing flowing clothes until it wont cover up”, I explained, he look slightly taken aback.

“The dark lord is the only one I presume who knows then”

“Lucius and Draco know…well they sort of walked on on me telling the dark lord”

“well I bid you congratulations on your future baby then”

“babies”

“what?”

“its twins”, I smiled and patted my small bump, “im so happy its unbelievable”

“well I didn’t expect such news when I came in here today…”, I laughed and picked my book up to lay it on the side, he sat down again because the cat had gone after a spider in the corner.

“I wasn’t ready for the world to know but I guess they’re going to find out soon anyway”, I lifted my dress slowly to reveal my bump, it didn’t bother me that he could see my underwear-I mean he had seen it before,

“Looks like your finally growing up”, he smiled a rare true smile, coming over to get a better look, “its so small and cute in a strange way”

“Severus Snape actually has a heart?”, I giggled as he tutted, “Im kidding, thank you”

“Twins huh, one is hard enough…well so I hear, but you have twice the ‘fun’”, he smirked

“yes but twice the reward”

“so any ideas for names? I cant believe im having this discussion with my ex-student, but well I have nothing else going on”

“I feel so pleased that you made time in your ‘busy’ schedule to talk”, I said sarcastically, “Im naming one and the dark lord names the other, that’s the decision, so we have to obviously decide on a girl and a boy name each, but this way he and I wont complain to each other. All works out. You know your lucky im happy today, or id probably kill you accidentally from stress. Then again, I cant do ‘proper‘ magic”

“you don’t need proper magic, you have everything supplied for you and you are probably the most protected person in the world”

“Yeah but I don’t feel like a real witch, everyone doing things for me, wish I had a bit more freedom. Of course I want to be safe but not every pregnant woman is in danger is she?”

“your not every woman though. There are still many out there who wish to avenge there loved ones deaths and things, some may be even jealous others might see it as an opportunity. It cant be risked”

“I get it. Please don’t tell the dark lord you know…that way no one gets punished”

“I don’t need your protection”, he said darkly

“I know, im just saying the dark lord is very…protective of me lately and doesn’t want it publicly known what is happening. He’s been so good to me lately, I just don’t want to piss him off”

“ok, ok. Im not staying here long, I just need to look at something then im meeting N-erm, no one”, he quickly changed mid sentence making me grin, “what?”

“Don’t keep Narcissa waiting”, I smirked before gliding over out onto the balcony, Voldemort had opened it for me because he obviously trusted me not to jump over the edge, it was also warded so no one could come within a metre of me, great.

“How do you know about us…?”, he asked behind me on the balcony as I enjoyed the view of beautiful landscapes,

“I noticed you and her getting close at Halloween, also the dark lord has dropped hints that you’ve been seeing her”, I smiled, “don’t worry, its great you’ve got someone-”

“the dark lord knows?”

“I assume so, as he’s mentioned it. I suppose your hiding it because of Lucius?”

“Not really, Narcissa would just prefer it, I know id probably have to battle him if he found out, he’s a very possessive wizard. Even with things what aren’t his”

“he’s been good lately, so I would prefer not to hear a bad word. I think he’s changed”, Snape snorted, “what?”

“Malfoy senior single-handedly murdered half-a-dozen muggles only yesterday around Trafalgar square, don’t ask me why but I believe he’s wanting more of the limelight, hasn’t done anything major lately so he thinks it may increase peoples fear and respect for him”

“he what! The fucking bastard, he only spoke to me last night how he hadn’t caused any deaths of anyone…he said really at the end of that sentence, he hadn’t really killed anyone, meaning he hadn’t done as much as fucking usual! Wait till I get my hands on him-”

“I don’t think that will do anything seeing as you cannot use magic against another wizard. Anyway, hears some advice, never trust a death eater”

“even you?”, I raised an eyebrow

“especially not me, im minister of magic I can do or say what I wish”

“ill keep that in mind then”, I turned round and looked deep in his eyes, his mind was blocked out but I didn’t need to see it, all deatheaters were cruel. Not as much as Voldemort but with him I could see the other side of him, the affectionate and loving side, I knew it was wrong but I couldn’t help my feelings.
“your right you can do or say what you want, but just because there’s things in life we can do doesn’t always mean we should. that’s the difference, you either have morals and happiness for yourself and those around you, or not a care but only temporary happiness for only yourself, I know which id prefer”, I stated wisely.

“you are very bright as I have known since you were a mere preteen, you may be right on some level in the old world, but not in the one the dark lord has created. You see there will only be what the dark lord wishes, and to survive is every wizard for himself and his lord, that’s how it goes”, he gently tugged on my arm, “its getting cold out here, id prefer to not have the dark lords wife come down with something while in my presence, you either come in or I make you”.

I didn’t need telling twice, I knew he would so I briskly stepped back inside and sat down with a frown.
“things will change, you can count on that”

“oh are they now”, he sniggered sarcastically, “and who’s going to change things? You?”

“yes”, he let out a burst of laughter, “what is so funny?”

“the dark lord has worked for decades before you were even born to get where he is now, he isn’t going to let some…teenager destroy that, even if you happen to be carrying his offspring and bearing his mark and ring”

“im not saying that, I am going to change certain things, not his whole world, just…islands in his creations you could say…”

“im not stopping you…trying that is, answer me something, has the dark lord hurt you at all since he found out about the pregnancy?”, he asked curiously opposite me.

“why?”

“just answer the question”, he muttered frustrated

“no, not that I can remember off the top of my head”, I replied simply

“your baby is protected from any curses he throws at you so why has he been so nice to you? I believe he’s just sweetening you up for something”

“your wrong, he’s change-I don’t know what, but he wants me to be happy. He hasn’t done anything bad lately, has he?”

“You are naïve, just because he has been all nice to you doesn’t mean he is in truth, he’s only sweetening you up, he still kills and tortures in a regular basis, just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean its not happening”

“I-I knew that already, I just guess I didn’t think he was the same as before. He’s just been so good to me, I just wouldn’t think he is just as dark as always…”, I spoke calmly, I knew I was wrong to love a man so evil but I also truly believed he had died down on his magic…naivety it seemed was what I had experienced.

“so you find two wizards you happen to like aren’t who you thought they were”

“I knew what they do and how they are-”

“but you also ‘knew’ they had changed, how wrong you were. You are just a girl, an intelligent and powerful one yes but still even you cannot change the darkest of people. Though I must say you have been successful in making them change around you. Your living in a fairytale”

“No im not!”

“yes you are, believing everything’s fine and everyone’s happy just because you are, you only see what happens inside the walls of these rooms”

“I have been outside of these walls and have seen what goes on outside and that’s why im going to try and change things. I don’t care what you think. Look, I’ve had enough grief during my time here, far more than anyone out there, just because im happy now doesn’t mean I haven’t suffered. Remember how badly I was treated? So don’t imply that I have no idea what it feels like”

“I wasn’t saying that-”

“oh I think you was, can you go now? Im already stressed out enough being pregnant and helpless to use much magic, he’s even restricted most magic not just harming others! I am just trying to be as happy as possible by just thinking about my children for now”

“I don’t want to go, I came here to use the library and that’s what im going to do”, he stood up when I stood up and came over very close, “you are very naïve and should always be alert, you never know what might happen…”, he lowered his voice and parted lips within an inch of mine as if tempting me to kiss him he smirked then pulled away. “me and Narcissa are an item but that doesn’t matter when it comes to other things, you see I am a very lustful man”

“just stay away from me”

“I may, I may not”

“just stay away. I was just talking normally to you and then you piss me off and then you go and basically threaten me!”

“I didn’t threat”, he sat down wit his smirk still played across his lips. I was between nervous and angry so I stormed off into the bedroom and lay down without another word. Fucking Snape must enjoy what he does.

“what’s up with you?”, Voldemort surprised me from the armchair silkily, I hadn’t noticed him so I sat up to see him reading quietly, only acknowledging me with his words.

“Nothing milord, just Snape…why are you here? I thought you were away, seeing as nearly everyday you leave and only return at night, not even that sometimes…”

“I am a busy wizard. Im here because im making a public speech in a few hours and I wish for you to be there by my side”

“what, as a mascot?”, I tutted to his look of dismay

“seriously what’s wrong?”, he put up a leg and lay back against the chair casually, settling his book on the arm.

“nothing milord, im just wondering why I need to be at your speech, what’s it even about?”, I asked now sitting opposite him.

“what has changed and how things will change even more. People are going to see the extent of my patience after I’ve been noticing a few…creases in things”

“so basically you’re going to have a show of tortures and you want me there by your side to make you look even stronger. Im not stupid milord, and I don’t want to go but of course I will have to”, I said dully, “as im no equal of yours to question or attempt to deny you anything”, I sneered.

“I know you aren’t stupid, but you are right, no matter how much it disgusts you, you cannot and will not deny me anything”

“as long as I know where I stand”

“don’t give me that. I have been very generous seeing as you are pregnant as I want thinks to be perfect, but do not test me, if you attempt anything to embarrass me I will have to punish you-no matter what stage of pregnancy your in, the babies cant be harmed so be grateful I’ve let you off things”

“and there I was believing you really cared”

“I do. But I am not going to let anyone make me look weak, no matter how important they are to me”

“fine. It doesn’t bother me one little bit milord”

“it doesn’t seem like it, anyway that doesn’t bother me either. So how are you?”, he asked kindly as if we were a normal couple.

“im ok”

“is that all?”

“your acting lie a psychologist or something!”

“a what?”

“someone who-never mind! Why are you being so weird!”

“im not, its you who is being strange. You’re acting differently”

“Its nothing, Snape just pissed me off a bit, but he also just sort of opened my eyes a bit more to how naïve I have and can be. You know I forgot you were even the dark lord because of how good you have been, I actually love seeing you and when we talk and do things together…but all of that just distracts me from the fact you are the dark lord and that you do hurt a lot of people”, I explained quietly not really looking at him, “so you see milord, that’s maybe why im a bit off with you”

“yes im the dark lord, but you don’t need to worry about that, it doesn’t involve or affect you so you don’t have to think about it-”

“I know it does affect me but that’s not the point…it doesn’t matter, I cant be bothered to even talk about it, it wont change a thing…”

“its up to you. So have you been reading up about pregnancy and twins?”

“yes I have. I never really though id be pregnant as a teenager so I never ever looked at anything before about it, im a complete novice so I was really worried when I first found out about the pregnancy. The healer has been very helpful though and she has been almost like a friend, its been good and everything’s fine”

“good. I think I should punish Snape though for putting ideas in your head, he knows doesn’t he”

“You aren’t punishing him, I don’t particularly like him but I cant have you punishing someone for me when its unneeded milord. Please, im not demanding im asking milord”

“Ok I wont, but I want no problems”

“there aren’t any milord”, I lied, he could tell I was but didn’t press on the issue.

“get ready, we should go”, he ordered as he got up

“I thought it was in a few hours?”, I asked while confused

“Yes but I’ve changed my mind, there will be a lot of people so I expect you on your best behaviour, we will leave when you’re ready because everyone will already be there, people tend to be early for me”

“I look forward to it”, I mumbled sarcastically.

I wasn’t in the mood for anything, I just wanted to talk to the healer, because we could just chat like I was a normal person, it wasn’t just about being pregnant. I had been having the best time with Voldemort recently but I just hated it when I remembered why and where I was and who and what he did.

*

Its not just a speech, a few hundred people are going to hear what I have to say and witness some things, Hermione will be there to see for herself how I wasn’t soft. I just hoped she wouldn’t try anything, as I wouldn’t think twice about punishing her, it wouldn’t harm the babies so there were no risks to that. I just don’t want to do it, but I know I must in public.

Snape was a tricky man, I only wish he would stop being such a bastard and show his true self, he wasn’t that bad but he hid himself because he didn’t want to be weak. He had taken a liking to Hermione but I know for a fact he isn’t interested in anything…physical from her, just to tease and play with her mind was all he wanted. That wasn’t a problem with me as long as he didn’t touch her properly.
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Hermione is a very happy person at the moment but i dont think she is going to be too happy with Voldemort soon...
And Snape is a bastard :D