Empty souls

Chapter 17. Healing.

‘It seems that, no matter what happens... I’m always loosing someone dear to me’ thought Harry sat alone in the kitchen drowning his sorrow in a cup of coffee. It had passed tow days since Ginny’s death. The days looked gloomier than ever for him... ‘and even worse for Molly, after all she was... no, she is her mother... it doesn’t matter that now she’s in a better place’.

That morning was her burial. The survivors friends that Ginny had left behind were there giving their last respects to the family and their last goodbye to the vivacious redhead girl. All of the remainig Gryffindors were carring white and red tulips and left them over Ginny’s coffin. There were people of other houses too, and Harry was surprised to see that she had too much friends... he never knew until that day how much they were. Molly was grateful that all Ginny’s friends had assisted to the burrial and the only words that left her mouth were ‘thank you’. The only time that Molly cried was when Ginny gave her last breath, but didn’t do it again... she seemed resigned more than anything else. From there, the only thing that made her remain sane, was Hermione.

She refused to talk. Not once spoke... or cried. It was like Hermione was walking wounded and the only thing that seemed to soften her moods were Molly’s arms. They slept together in Ginny’s room and the few times Harry passed, never heard a sound from inside.

Bill, Fleur, Fred, George, Luna, Angelina, Katie and Neville looked really bed. They all had swollen eyes from cried all night long. Harry never was with them when that happened, but he knew... because he himself had done it too. The support from the rest of the Order was a great deal to them, mostly Remus and Tonks. The absence of Ginny was painful for all of them.

Although, Angelina and Molly were worried for Hermione. She hadn’t ate properly. The rest still were unaware of Hermione’s pregnancy yet.

Since Ginny’s last breath, she refused to leave her room... until the burial, when shen agreed to attend, and as soon they went back into Black Manor, she locked herself. Now, almost dinner time, she remained locked. Molly was with her, no doubt, and Harry was desperated to talk with her... but he didn’t know how to... or even approach to her... ‘it’s like Hermione was a stranger... so unlike her’ thought Harry looking the inside of his almost empty coffee mug.

Fleur and Katie went into the kitchen , not surprised to see him there, though they didn’t say anything. The girls just began to prepare dinner, seeing that Molly wouoldn’t do it anytime soon. Wordlessly, Harry help them, after all, he was used to do meals at the Dursley’s, something that Harry was grateful because he realised that wasn’t so useless after all. And he did it too with other purpose: to relax and think on other things. He was fighting his own monster... the monster that threat to eat him from inside... he just didn’t know what to do anymore.

Surprisingly, Molly came into the kitchen and cornered Harry. She was paled and worried.

“You need to talk with her...” whispered Molly, her voice pleading. “She doesn’t want to eat... the last she did was yesterday. I’m worried.”

“But... I don’t know how to do it, Molly” replied in equall tone “I tried to but she refused to talk.”

“Try again. You can’t just give up so easily... please, Harry.” He knew she was right... that he loved her so much that he would do just about anything for her, even beg her to come back to her senses... no matter how much he tried... even if pass days, weeks, months, years...

“¿Where’s she?”

“Ginny’s room... McGonagall’s with her. The Headmisstress was dissapointed to hear that Hermione can’t behave properly...” Molly sighed and avoided Harry’s gaze “I-I know...I heard Ginny say that... you love Hermione... I was there... but” she looked at him again, now with tears shinning on her eyes “it seems that you can’t give voice to your feelings... I know you loved Ginny... not in the way she would had like it, but... I beg you, for her memory... fight for Hermione. Your turmoil is great, I see it in your eyes, but Hermione needs you.”

“I know” Harry replied after a minute of silence. Harry just walked to the door and made his way out of the kitchen when the door opened to reveal Luna who approahced where Molly and Harry were.

“Hermione’s gone” sadi Luna and instantly, Molly and Harry paled until the blond girl saw their reaction and continued trying to calm them down. “She left with McGonagall. The Headmisstress told me to inform you.”

“¿What? ¿Why?” asked Harry genuinelly surprised.

“Dunno” Luna shrugged “She just told me that they’ll be back in an hour” with furrowed brows, Molly and Harry looked at each other, thinking why they left and where.


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McGonagall hadn’t said much, she only thought that maybe a vist to her own office would be helpful when she told Hermione. She never said yes or no, she just nodded absently and took the portkey McGonagall created after telling Luna, who was walking by.

When they finally reached their destination, Hermione lost her balance for a second and McGonagall helped her and guided her to a nearby chair once in the Headmisstress’s office. The portraits were talking among themselves until they saw at the people that just surged from thin air. McGonagall, worried by Hermione’s condition, told her that she was going to fetch Pomfrey and quickly left her there. Again, the portraits continued their convesation until Dumbledore silenced them. Hermione turned to see the former Headmaster. To her, he seemed to be analitically looking at her, but she never gave signs of being annoyed by this. She knew him too well, the twinkle in his eyes gone, but even that, he smiled polietly at her.

“Ms. Granger” greeted Dumbledore “What a pleasure” then, his demeanor change a bit “I’m sorry to hear about Ms. Weasley... ¿How’re you feeling?” but the only thing Hermione did was lower her gaze at the stone floor. “It must be hard for you... and I already saw that Minerva’s not pleased with you. She usually is not that apprehensive... ¿Would you care to share something with me?”

Hermione seemed to be consideriong onto whether tell him or not. In the end she just shook her head and Dumbledore sighed.

“She doesn’t want to eat, Dumbledore” informed Phineas Nigellus, his voice was full of himself, like always “or talk for that matter.” Hermione glared at him immediatly. If looks could kill, Phineas would be dead again. “This girl think that she’s the only one that suffers” and phineas glared back at her. Her eyes were mere slits looking at him venomously.

“Is that true, Ms. Granger?” asked Dumbledore softly and Hermione broke eye contact with Phineas to look into the former Headmaster’s eyes, and loweres her glance again. “I know that you’re hurt... all the things you had to go through until now are taxing for you... and I can’t blame you really” Hermione slowly lifted her face and her hunted eyes to him and Dumbledore’s eyes looked at her with simpathy “You may are feeling alone, it’s just logic... I felt it too... it’s human nature try to protect oursekves from pain, and shut us out from the rest of the world is our primary instinct.

“Remain in our own little world though, is not an option... not when there are people counting on us. Sometimes it’s good to be alone... this gives you time to think or remember... gives you time for grieving when it’s needed. Conceal your thoughts it’s your option, but sometimes you ought to let it go... talking... talking with someone you trust. As the time pass, your feelings and emotions are stern, and slowly you’re fillled with sadness, pain that over the years are transformed in scorn and bitterness. Don’t let it happen... let go of what is hurting you. It’ll pass.”

“How... how do I do that?” whispered Hermione her first words since Ginny’s death. Unknown to her, Phineas Nigellus smiled a bit... and behind tha Headmisstress’s office door were McGonagall, Pomfrey... and Harry, all of them surprised that Dumbledore could fulfilled what they couldn’t. The portrait fo the last Headmaster smiled like a father would.

“Cry, Hermione. You need to let out your pain crying. You need to feel your pain to let it go... let go your parents... let go your friends... they loved and still love you, and that’s not going to change... ever.”

“But... I feel bad... like I can’t breath...”

“¿Why?”

“Because they’re dead... and I still am alive. It’s unfair.”

“Yes, it is... but life is supposed to be this way for ones... for others is just the circle of life. One day we must die... no matter the circumstances, you already saw it. You tried to save Ginevra... but you just see that she was destined to die. Of course, her death wasn’t as you read in that magazine... thanks to you, she could gave her last goodbye... her love to her family and friends... her death wasn’t surrounded by torture and pain but in her mother’s arms, where she felt safe. She’s not here anymore, but she’s not alone. She’ll be with you, meanwhile you always have her... in your heart” Dumbledore paused to see Hermione’s eyes full with tears, her hands resting on her knees giving her support. He sighed “I was told that you were with Ginny in her last minutes... ¿What did she tell you?”

“She... she made me swear that... that I would break the barriers of the past... that I would look out for Harry and my baby... that I would love Harry, but I can’t... I just can’t.”

“¿Can I ask you why?”

“Because he swore it too... and I’m afraid that he did... he did it because he felt he ought to... Harry is hers... and will always be. I’m betraying Ron’s and Ginny’s memories.”

“You know very well as I do, that no one can obligue Harry to do something he doesn’t want to.”

From outside, Harry fought the urge to scream at her that he loves her and nothing can change that, but he felt the same as her... ¿Would be like betraying Ron’s memories for loving Hermione?

“I know” replied Hermione closing her eyes.

“You need to go on, Hermione. I’m sure that Ronald and Ginevra would like that... and you know that too. I don’t think you’re betraying them in any way.”

“Now ¿Are you a ‘therapyst’, Dumbledore?” sneered Phineas laughing inwardly.

“¡That’s it!” yelled Hermione, fed up by his awful behavior, stood up and pulled out her wand, pointing at the portrait of the smart-arse and wordlessly, struck it with a silencing charm. At the same time, Minerva, Pomfrey and Harry charge inside the office to look at the rage in Hermione’s features. The other portraits yelled in horror and when the girl glared at them, they quieted to not provoke her wrath.

“Evaesdroping doesn’t suit you, Minerva” chuckled Dumbledore that, as always, he knows something that the rest don’t. Until that moment, Hermione knew about the other presence in the office and turned afraid of the famous McGonagall’s death glare... only to be atonished by Harry’s inminent presence. Both, the young man and the pregnant girl locked their gaze to one another aprehensively. Dumbledore’s twinkle returned, though he wasn’t smiling. McGonagall glared at Dumbledore for his comment.

“Finally” sneered Professor’s Dippet portrait “I thought no one would dare to shut Nigellus up... until now” at this comment, the portraits applauded aprovingly, making Dumbledore, McGonagall Pomfrey and Harry smile. Hermione plced her hands on her face in shame. Suddenly, Madame Pomfrey walked to Hermione and ordered her to sit again. With her wand checked Hermione’s body while the rest went quiet waiting for the nurse to do her job. When she finished, she gave a nod.

“Hermione” snorted Pomfrey “Headmisstress told me that you don’t want to eat. You and your baby are still weak... I think I don’t need to remaind you that is vital for you to eat properly, sleep properly or rest properly... I don’t care that the world is collapsing around... if you don’t start to act responsibly, I’m going to lock you with me in the hospital ward for the next several months ¿Is that clear?”

Hermione was startled and mulling at the prospect of being locked up with the nurse and her temper... ‘no, surely I don’t want that’, she thougth and nodded in shame.

“Poppy, please” called Dumbledore “Don’t lecture her... or threat her. She was frightened enough as it is.”

“Albus, she’s pregnant for Merlin’s sake! Someone needs to bring her back to her senses.” Huffed the nurse.

“I’m sorry” whispered Hemrione and instantly Madame Pomfrey softened when the tinge of remorse in the girl’s voice came to her ears. The nurse placed a hand over Hermione’s shoulder.

“It’s ok. You just need to go back home and eat. ¿Would you promise me that?”

Hermione, not quite looking the nurse’s eyes, nodded.

“I’ll make sure that she will” spoke Harry for the first time and Hermione looked into his eyes, only to see him back at her with a mixture of emotions. He offered his hand and smiling, she took it and sttod on her feet. They laced their hands adn turned to Dumbledore’s portrait.

“Thank you” said Hermione softly.

“You’re welcome. Whenever you want to talk, just tell Minerva to bring you here. I’ll be glad to talk with someone that is not scowling the whole time” replied Dumbledore smiling and McGonagall just glared at him.

“It’s time, Hermione” whispered Harry “... to go back home.”


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When Harry and Hermione returned to Black Manor, they walked hand in hand into the kitchen at the surprised faces of the rest that were already eating dinner. The smell made Hermione’s stomach roar moisely and everyone laughed. Molly hugged her and the girl hugged her back then lead her to the chair that Bill just vacated.

Silently, she survide the people around her. The faces of her friends were paled and sad. There wasn’t small talk, just the simple noises when the spoon was in the soup, or the fork snd knife slicing the beef, or the chewing of the garlic bread, or the sipping of the pumpking juice. There was too much that Hermione could see from them: Fred and Angelina, George and Katie, Luna and Neville, Bill and Fleur, Remus and Tonks... all of them have one another... they’re in love. Someday they’ll have a family on their own. Molly loved Harry like a son and they supported one another... all of them supported one another and will. It was then when Dumbledore’s words struck on her: no one is alone if our loved ones remain in our hearts. Harry’s life is a living proof. ‘James, Lily, Sirius, Dumbledore, Arthur, Charly, Ron and Ginny... he lost that much... still he’s here, dealing with his turmoil and fighting for a life... because he refuses to give up’ thought Hermione, the corner of her mouth twitching just a bit. When she lowered her eyes to her plate, she realised that it was almost empty. At least she ate.

When they finally ate dinner, retired to their rooms of the living room, but Harry took Hermione’s hand. She lifted her eyes to see the seriousness in his features.

“We need to talk” Hermione sighed bur nodded and Harry lead her to his room.

Harry closed the door behind him, placing the proper charms to ensure privacy. Hermione sat on his bed awaiting for him to speak first when he sat at her side, just next to her almost touching.

“I don’t know where I should start” spoke Harry after a few minutes of complete silence “I feel like something’s missing... like you’re not totally here... I missed you, Hermione... you don’t know how much.”

“Is that true?”

“¡Of course is true! I missed you and_”

“No” interrupted Hermione “I mean... ¿Is true what Ginny said?... that you love me...” she was scared to ask that, but it was something that she wanted to know and at the same time it was killing her.

“Yes” replied Harry looking straight into her eyes with full conviction “I love you.” Hermione bit her lower lip without breaking eye contact. The depth of his words reinforced with the force of his green eyes. “But I don’t want you to think I was forced to say it, because it’s not...”

“You heard the talk that Dumbledore and I_”

“Yes, I heard...” Harry blushed when Hermione glared reproachful “I’m sorry, I was worried and I just ran to get there and see if you were ok and... I couldn’t help it.” Hermione was opening her mouth to say something but Harry stopped her “Don’t, please... let me speak” Hermione frowned but nodded “When you and Ron announced your engagement, I got mad. Long time ago I realised Ron’s feelings towards you, and I couldn’t come between you both... I thought that you loved him too... so, I let it go. I knew that one day you would end up together, and imposing my love for you would just tear us apart. I loved Ginny, but... it wasn’t the same as with you.

“Resigned to that fact, I tried to move on. I liked Ginny... she was so cute and always her charming person made me feel happy... she loved me... in a way I knew I never would, but at least she would be what I thought it was be happy. Now I feel bad becasue she knew... she always knew that I loved you... but she forgave me... and_”

“Shhh” silenced Hermione placing a finger over his lips. She wasn’t crying yet, but her voice was cracking when she spoke “¿Do you know that I got through the same?” Harry looked at her quizzcally and she smiled sadly “I always thought that you and Ginny would end up like a couple. I saw you when you kissed her for the first time and I beamed at it... because I thougth that you finally would be happy. Over anything else I wished your happiness, because you deserved it... and I was content with that... and that’s why I was with Ron... and gave my self to him...” she placed a hand over the light bulge on her abdomen. “but I don’t regret it, because I know I made him happy... as you made Ginny happy.”

“You know that Ginny and I...”

“Yeah” she smiled “I felt devasted when I found out in St.Mungo’s” suddenly Harry’s demeanor changed from sad to angry.

“¡Damn it!” he shouted, making Hermione cringe “¡You risk your and your baby’s lives! ¡I can’t believe it!” now all his frustrations and horrors slammed back into him at full force “¿What if Malfoy would have Kill you? ¿What if you would have lost the baby? ¿Did you stop to think what I would feel if I would’ve found out you were murdered with Ron’s baby?... ¡All of us!” Harry was breathing as though he ran from hours. He stopped when he saw her face: at last, she was crying. He immediatly felt miserable and hugged her “¡Oh, Gods! Hermione... I’m sorry, please forgive me” her sobs were muffled by his shirt that she was holding onto for dear life and then, Harry let himself cry with her, holding her like his life depend on it. “You’ve been through so much and here I am... scold you, whern I should be supporting you. I-I’m sorry.”

Hermione just hold on tighter and both cried for a good while. Their tears subside after a full hour of cry and sob and whimper. Slowly, Harry and Hermione calmed themselves down until their breaths came back to normal... again, Hermione emembered Dumbledore’s words: she felt like the weight of Atlas was lifted from her shoulders... she just needed that, cry until her pain subside enough to think things more clearly. Not once boke their embrace, but Hermione wanted to see his eyes so, she pushed herself from him a littel and harry looked at her, perplexed that she wasn’t in his arms anymore, feeling lonely and scared, missing her body against his.

“¿Do you think that Ron would hate me?” asked Hermione with raspy voice.

“¿Why would he?”

“For being in love with you.” Harry closed his eyes tightly. When he opened them again, a lonely tear fell out from his right eye.

“No” he sighed “He was a good friend... he would like to see you happy. ¿Do you think he would hate me for being in love with you?”

Hermione smiled lightly. “No... he would like to see you happy too.” Harry smiled.

Slowly harry bent down to her face and she moved her face onto his and joined their lips in a soft kiss, closing their eyes at the same time. They poured their love for one another in that kiss that send ticklish sensations to their bodies, just grazing their lips and a warmth enveloped them. Hermione felt Harry’s tongue on her lips seeking entrance and she opened her mouth to him. Soon they were explororing their mouths with a bir of passion but love at the same time. When they broke it, looked into each other eyes and found love and desire, though Hermione looked exhausted.

“Do you mind if I sleep here... with you?” asked Hermione blushing.

“It’ll be my pleasure” smiled Harry at her. They stood up from the bed and Hermione pulled out her wand to transform their clothes into sleeping robes. Harry smiled and arranged the matress of the bed.

When both were properly covered, Hermione’s arms search Harry’s body and they laid at their sides facing each other. She placed her hands over his hard covered chest while his strong arms hugged her fragile body against him. Harry bent over her and kiss Hermione again, and she kiss him back. Tired, they broke it off and embrace more tightly. They were half asleep.

“I love you, Harry” whispered Hermione.

“And I love you, ‘Mione.” he whispered back. Soon, they fell asleep in the arms of their love, having the best sleep they would have in years.




A/N: I’m sorry, I couldn’t update early. I’m writing two other stories and one of them is really taking a bit more than I had expected. Actually, that one is the most claimed between my readers. Shame it’s only in spanish. The other one is... a bit unlike me... but hot! So, if you feel like reading two opposite things, then would be an honour for me. Suit yourselves.

OH! I almost forgot! Please forgive me and my grammar and spelling, I know it’s awful. Please, read and review!!!!!