Darkness Shadows Light

With growing nerves, Harry approached the portrait that shielded the entrance to Snape\'s private chambers. He dithered on whether to knock or just try the password, but decided that he might as well try it though surely Severus would have changed it by now.

\'Serpentine,\' he whispered, and to his surprise the portrait obediently opened.
Hesitantly he stepped through the entrance and looked around to see where Severus was, unsurprisingly he was sitting in his usual chair, drinking from a glass of what Harry assumed contained whisky. He was staring into the fire and seemed unaware of Harry\'s presence. Harry took off the invisibility cloak.

\'Hi,\' Harry said softly. Snape started and looked around.

\'Harry,\' he said, looking surprised. \'What are you doing here?\'

\'I-I needed to talk to you,\' H sai said. \'Something happened to night and I don\'t know what to do.\'

Snape immediately looked concerned and gestured for Harry to sit down.

\'Is it to do with Voldemort...?\' he began, but Harry quickly shook his head.

\'No, this is personal. It\'s to do with Ron.\'

Immediately Snape\'s face darkened.

\'I have no wish to hear anything to do with that particular Weasley. I think you should go.\'

\'He wants to marry me,\' Harry burst out.

\'Well that\'s obvious, you are engaged.\' He replied in a detached voice.

\'But you know that was just to get Mrs Weasley off our backs! We never planned to go through with it.\' Harry said exasperatedly.

\'So what has changed?\'

\'Ron thinks he\'s in love with me, that\'s what\'s changed.\'

\'And what do you expect me to do about it?\' the shuttered face gave nothing away, nothing to give Harry any hope. It was as if they were talking about a subject he had no interest in. Harry threw out his hands imploringly.

\'Don\'t you care?\' he demanded. \'Ron wants to m me me and I need to know if there\'s any hope for you and me at all. If not, then I may as well marry him. At least I know he wants me.\'

For a brief second there was a flare in those dark eyes, a tightening of the muscles in his face.

\'If you truly believe you could be happy with Weasley, then I suggest you do just that.\' Snape replied in a stiff voice.

\'But what about us?\'

\'There is no *us*.\'

\'So that\'s it then?\' Harry said, standing up. \'I marry Ron, and you go on as if none of this ever happened?\'

\'Yes.\'

The finality of the word hung between them and Harry could think of nothing more to say. With a heavy heart he crossed to the portrait entrance and opened it, throwing the invisibility cloak over himself. From here all he could see was Severus\' profile as he continued to stare into the fire.

Just before he went through the opening, he hesitated. This was no way to let things end, there had to be something he could say to make him change his mind or at least get *some* reaction out of him rather than this detachedness.

Determinedly he shut the portrait and turned to face his lover.

******

With the click of the portrait closing and Harry leaving for good, Snape abruptly lost any semblance of the self-control he had desperately held onto whilst he was there. The mask dropped and he let his true feeling show through.

In an action driven by despair and anger, guilt and loss, he threw the heavy glass tumbler and its remaining contents at the wall with all the strength he could muster. It shattered satisfyingly into a thousand pieces.

\'Damn you, Harry Potter,\' he said in a shaking voice, thick with emotion.

******

Harry flinched when the glass hit the wall. He had seen Snape in a rage before - more than once and usually caused by him - but never lose control like this.
\'Damn you, Harry Potter,\'

The words seemed wrenched from him on a great wave of emotional turmoil.

Harry felt uncomfortable, like he was invading Snape\'s privacy, but he couldn\'t leave now, not now he knew what anguish he had caused.

He watched in horror as his lover\'s shoulders heaved and what he could only describe as a sob came from his lips. At that moment Harry finally knew. Knew that whatever Snape had said, however cold he had acted, he truly cared. Nothing else could have wrought such a reaction from him. His next words confirmed it.

\'Damn you Harry for making me love you,\' was whispered brokenly into the fire.

Harry couldn\'t help but hate himself for causing so much pain to the man he loved. Why had he forced things? For god\'s sake he\'d practically given him an ultimatum. He should have known Snape\'s reaction to that would be stubbornness and cold rejection.

Making up his mind that he couldn\'t witness any more of this without Severus knowing he was there, he went over to the chair Snape was sitting in, throwing the cloak off on the way.

Harry cleared his throat and touched his arm, making Snape jump. He looked up.

\'You left,\' was all the older wizard could manage to say, his face a mixture of despair and embarrassment at what he realised Harry must have witnessed.

Harry shook his head.

\'I\'m never leaving again,\' he said softly. \'I love you and I just heard you admit you love me. Nothing else matters.\'

\'What about Weasley?\'

\'I could never marry Ron,\' Harry said, suddenly realising it was true. \'I came here to find out how you felt for me - to get a reaction out of you - I needed to know.\'

Snape laughed harshly, it was not a nice sound.

\'Well congratulations, Mr Potter, you\'ve finally broken me. I hope you\'re proud. Now just get out and leave me be,\' he ordered.

\'I told you I\'m not leaving. Not this time.\' Harry replied passionately. \'Do you really believe that me seeing you like this is a bad thing? Why do you have to pretend that you don\'t feel the same things the rest of us feel? I love you and I\'m having your baby. If you can\'t let your guard down with me, then who else? Please stop shutting me out...\' he finished weakly, trying to think what else he could say to convince Severus.

There was a strange look on Snape\'s face. Suddenly he stood up and pulled Harry into a tight embrace.

\'Thank you,\' he whispered in Harry\'s ear.

\'What for?\' asked Harry in astonishment and relief.

\'For staying even when I order you to go, for seeing the real me and still caring, for loving me even when I\'m being a complete and utter bastard...for just generally being you.\'

The words warmed Harry more than he thought possible. To hear this reserved man speak so uninhibitedly to him was beyond his wildest dreams. He finally felt the last barrier between them had disappeared.

Snape released him slightly, putting a finger under his chin and tipping his head back until their eyes met.

\'I love you, Harry,\' he said in a velvet voice warmed with emotion, his midnight eyes gazing intently into Harry\'s emerald green ones. Harry wished this moment could go on forever; he had never felt so needed, nor so loved before.

\'I love you too,\' he murmured, putting his arms around his lover\'s neck and pulling his head down until their lips met. It started off as a gentle kiss, an affirmation of their love, but quickly deepened into something more. Eventually, reluctantly, Snape pulled away.

\'It\'s very late, you ought to get back to your room,\' he said.

\'I have my own room now,\' Harry reminded him, eyes sparkling. \'No one will know if I\'m not there.\'

Snape\'s gazent int into him.

\'Does that mean you wish to stay?\'

\'No, that means I\'m going to stay.\' To prove his point he started unbuttoning his own robes, Snape\'s hand stopped him and he looked at him questioningly.

\'I believe that\'s my job,\' he growled. Harry gladly gave in to his lover\'s ministrations...

Later - much, much later - Harry lay happily in Snape\'s arms, more content than he had ever felt. Making love knowing that he was loved and loved back in return added a whole new dimension that he had not realised was missing. Looking at the expression on Severus\' face, he could tell he felt the same way.

\'I\'ve been thinking...\' Snape said hesitantly.

\'What?\' asked Harry, running a hand lazily over his chest, making him shiver.

\'Stop that,\' he said reprovingly. \'I\'m trying to say something.\'
rry rry stilled his hand and looked questioningly at his lover.

\'If this is honestly what we both want then I think we should...marrmarried.\' He looked anxiously at Harry for his reaction.

For the second time that night Harry was stunned, it was more than he had ever hoped for, and he was tempted to pinch himself to see if he was dreaming. Suddenly he realised he had been silent too long and Severus was looking at him with the hope fading from his face.

\'I\'m sorry, it\'s too soon, I shouldn\'t have said anything...\' Snape started to say. Quickly Harry put a finger to his lips to stop him.

\'Ses, ts, there is nothing I would like more in this world than to marru.\'u.\' Harry said seriously. \'But what about Voldemort? He\'s still after me, isn\'t he? I don\'t want to put you in any more danger than you already are.\'

\'At the moment you are not a top priority for him,\' Snape replied. \'He completely believes Weasley is the father of our baby, and so has been convinced that it can\'t possibly be from the same circumstances as Grindelwald and Morgana, as he could not be considered a great wizard by any stretch of the imagination. He believes it was either an accidental spell, or it was done on purpose to lure him into doing something rash. In any case, he has decided to leave it for now.\'

Harry was surprised, but pleased.

\'But surely if we got married everyone would find out?\' Harry questioned, refusing to let his rising hope override his common sense. \'Isn\'t there loads of forms to fill in and licences and stuff?\'

Snape looked at him pityingly.

\'I sometimes forget how much of a muggle you are. Wizard weddings are nothing like muggle ones, any elder wizard can officiate, all we need are two witnesses. Once the ceremony is completed, a record will automatically appear at the Ministry of Magic, but no one ever looks at it unless you\'re getting divorced.

\'So we can get married and no one will know?\' Harry said, unable to keep the smile off his face any longer.

\'Yes,\' said Snape. \'There\'s just one thing...\'

\'What?\' asked Harry anxiously.

\'You haven\'t actually said \'yes\' yet,\' he replied dryly.

\'Yes!\' exclaimed Harry. \'Of course I\'ll marry you!\' He raised his head to capture his lover\'s lips. After a satisfactory interlude, Snape spoke.

\'I\'ll speak to Albus tomorrow, no today,\' he corrected himself, as he saw the time. \'I think we should try and get some sleep now.

\'Okay,\' said Harry, snuggling closer to his new fiancé. \'G\'night.\'

\'Goodnight, Harry,\' he said contentedly. For the first time in a very long time he waskingking forward to the new day.