Misery and Grief

They really hadn't realized they had fallen asleep. It was just so comfortable, and safe, and a great way to forget everything. Not to mention that it was pretty much the foundation for everything between them. If only Harry hadn't been so comfortable, so able to wipe away his nightmares, then none of it would have ended up the way it is. Anyways, the were tired from Draco only sleeping lightly and Harry not sleeping at all, so really there was nothing that could be done about it.

They were lucky that Ginny did not just walk in, as she did show up at Harry's door during that day but decided that no matter how angry she was that barging in would only make her look bad to Harry. Instead, they were intruded by a very grumpy Severus Snape. The professor had to stand before them for five minutes, scanning the situation and bantering between absolute disgust and relief that Draco didn't look to be in that bad of shape, even if he wasn't as prim as usual. When he was finally able to regain his composure, which had seriously been out of whack upon seeing the two enemies sprawled out, he cleared his throat.

"How touching." Honestly, it was all he could manage.

Draco roused first, moaning upsettedly and rubbing his eyes before opening one eye his way. Those grey orbs blinked twice before taking what he was seeing as reality, to which he backed away so far that he actually fell off the bed and screamed; partly from being caught off guard, partly from falling off the bed, and partly because the last time he had seen Severus Snape, he was naked, bleeding, covered in men's sex, and on the brink of being killed.

Sorry, but even though Snape knew this place, it didn't mean he trusted them.

Of course, the scream had woken Harry, wand in hand, which immediately aimed at the one thing that was out of place. The older man sneered visibly, trying to ignore a very flustered and scared Draco. Harry was not so able to forgo helping Draco. Immediately he rolled out of the bed and clambered to the Slytherin's side. Tears seemed to sink into his soul. "It's okay, it's alright. Snape won't hurt you. He lead you here, remember?"

But Severus Snape knew that it wasn't just lack of trust. No, the death eater was just a reminder of everything that had happened that night because he had been there. He could have done the kindest thing on this earth for Draco, which he rather thought he did, but it didn't matter because he was a solid remainder of what had happened. He made a noncommittal grunt and left, black robes billowing behind him.

It took Harry a better part of two hours to calm Draco down. He sighed at the bad timing and wondered exactly why the man had been here anyways. At first, Malfoy had refused to touch him or be touched, something that Harry did not press but eventually Draco ended up clinging to him desperately. Shaking and crying and so utterly pathetic that it put everything before to shame with it's heart-wrenching sadness. He was rocking him in his arms when the crying finally ceased. Harry could not help feel extremely flustered when he didn't know what to do, and extremely proud whenever he struck gold on what he assumed to be the right way to do things - after all, it's not like he had neither experience in this sort of thing or anyone to actually comfort him he could learn from.

For the next three hours they just sat there against the wall, embracing sadly like a couple of kids that had just witnessed something horrible and had nobody to turn to. Scary how pretty close that was, except they had always been victims not just witnesses. How traumatized did fate want them to be, exactly? Harry held Draco tight and Draco didn't loosen his grip until Kreacher brought them food. Draco may have been surprised to see the creature for the first time but he didn't show it. Instead, as the food was left out in front of them, he realized that Harry might let him go now, so he held on tighter.

It took great personal strength to be firm with the boy. "You have to eat." He pulled the food closer and Draco burrowed his head into the crook of Harry's neck. The brunette sighed and cut some quiche with his fork and lifted it to head level then looked at the hiding boy sadly. Growling slightly, he tried again. "Draco..." He warned. The blonde seemed to move uncomfortably at hearing his given name used in such a manner, which gave him another idea. Grinning in quite the Slytherin fashion, Harry bent down to the actual Slytherin's ear. "Dra~co..." He said in a husky voice, almost a moan.

That seemed to get his attention, as the boy quickly gasped and threw his head up to look at the man holding him incredulously, mouth open indignantly. Harry only smiled back lightly. "Please?" The caring in his eyes was too much for the blonde, the sheer fact that the Harry Potter was asking him in such a way, he couldn't take it. Sighing with irritation the boy nodded. Soon he was surprised that instead of giving the boy the fork, Harry actually put the utensil to his reluctant lips. Despite everything that had changed so far, this really was too much. Draco ate the first bite and as Harry was taking the fork back he grabbed it.

He may have been wrong about his family pride and his Slytherin ethics before but curse him dead if he was going to participate in romantic mushy details like this. His blush simply would not recede from his pale features, beyond embarrassment. Harry smiled deeply at him as he finally dug into the food himself, only moving so that his back was burrowing into the man instead of clinging to him. Draco's annoyance grew as he could feel the smile behind him, making him have a passing thought of stabbing Harry with his fork. He smirked at that, the idea that no matter how close the two of them got some things never changed. Damned Gryffindor anyways. However, when he thought about it, hadn't Harry just humiliated him to the point where he complied. That was actually very Slytherin. He hummed in thought to that.

And there was Snape to think about. He flinched slightly at the thought but it was nothing in comparison to him actually standing above him. Draco wasn't really sure if he had been embarrassed to be seen laying with Harry or not by his former favorite professor. The thought should have completely been moot, but it was slightly prevalent. That meant that everyone might know soon, including Ginny. Plus he wasn't sure if he trusted Snape or not. Point in fact is that Snape saved him, lead him here, gave him a chance at happiness, even if it wasn't exactly his intentions. And they hadn't come after him, so that meant that he could be trusted, right? Even so, Snape was a walking memory of everything that had happened. Seeing him, looming there, had just brought everything to the surface.

Yes, he was thankful to Severus Snape but he never wanted to see him ever again.

He took another bite, staring ahead. He wondered if he'd ever be free again; with the wizarding world looking for him, a jealous woman out to get him, and people that if he saw he'd surely go nutters again. Though he was very aware that he couldn't stay here forever, or even if he could live for the rest of his days that he couldn't hermit himself like this always. It made him crave fresh air, flying, stores, people. He was generally a very private and reserved person but nonetheless being around people was always good - if only to look at them like they were scum to make himself look better.

What was he going to do?

It shouldn't have, but he felt the great need to make some sort of decision now, to have some control over the future before it comes rampaging towards him. Should he somehow strike first in true Slytherin fashion, or should he forgo all things Slytherin since everything so far has been a farce? A Slytherin would attack first without lenience nor apology, what would the other houses do? A Hufflepuff would try to talk things over, a Ravenclaw would perhaps try to find whatever was most logical which would be to calculate everything until the last moment and act only on sure figures. A Gryffindor, what would a Gryffindor do?

It depended on why, he supposed, but it would always come down to emotion. So what were his emotions? Confused came to mind before everything else, not because it was the most extreme but because it crossed the barriers of all his problems. He was outraged at his father, and scared of him and all the death eaters. Also devastated by having everything he knew crushed under their toes. About Ginny, he was actually more annoyed than anything except that she put him in danger towards the people who had been mentioned before. Harry, well, actually that didn't really want to think about his emotions concerning that kid right now.

Another bite. If only he could keep the rape out of the forefront out of his head., and really he had thought he was doing a good job at it until something absolutely reminded him of it, until it was out of his control. He had to do something to take that power away from those reminders. And in that, it became blatantly obvious what he had to do, so much so that it made him want to cry again. He was sure he would, anyways.

"Potter?"

"Hmm?"

"I want to talk about the night before you found me here. The night I was... raped..."

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Small chapter again, next chapter will be even smaller I assume but I can't possibly know how many words it will take, but it will basically just be what happened that night. Chapter after that will be exciting again.