Potions in the Moonlight

"Move him gently." Poppy said. Remus cringed when he heard Severus moan in pain. It was the first full moon tonight and Severus' health had been getting increasingly worse as every moment passed. Remus watched James and Madam Pomfrey try to maneuver the ill boy into the Whomping Willow.

Severus' breathing was harsh and he was shaking from the force of being moved such a long distance. But there was no other option. Remus followed them through the small path into the shrieking shack.

Remus didn't watch them as they removed Severus' clothes. He was shocked that James had volunteered to help. He knew Sirius would be joining later just before the moon rises to make sure that 'Snape doesn't hurt Remus.' but James had come early to help with the set up.

Remus had his back to them as he slowly removed his clothes, tears streaming down his cheeks at every pained or distressed sound Severus made. He folded his clothes and handed them to Pomfrey who would bring them back in the morning. He stared down at Snape who had a blanket covering his shivering body.

He knelt down next to him as James backed away from them. James looked... sad for some reason where as before he just seemed angry. Maybe the realization of the situation was finally clicking in.

"Sev?" Remus asked. Severus was shaking and felt exhausted but opened his eyes to look at Remus. "I'm so sorry..." He said for what seemed like the thousandth time.

"I know..." Sev said quietly. His voice was so quiet and he was just so... sick. Remus still couldn't believe he was the cause of this. If it wasn't for him Severus would be up in his room studying or doing what ever it was he normally does. But because of him tonight could be his last.

"Sev... I love you." He said taking his hand and gripping it tightly. Sev didn't say anything for a few moments as he tried to block out the pain writhing through his body.

"I know..." He said quietly. Remus closed his eyes. It hurt that Sev didn't tell him that he loved him... but after all this... he honestly couldn't blame him.

Remus kissed his hand a moment before he felt himself being pulled away from him. He didn't want to go but he knew it would be the best.

Pomfrey place a reassuring hand on his shoulder before her and James left leaving them alone in the room.

He closed his eyes and sat down on the floor against the wall listening to Severus' harsh breathing. A few moments later he could hear the sound of hooves clacking on the floor and the sound of a dog panting, it's claws scraping the floor.

He opened his eyes and saw Padfoot and Prongs standing between the two boys.

The dog growled at Severus a moments and laid down on the ground. Remus closed his eyes again as the moon began to filter into the room. He opened his eyes to watch Sev as his transformation began.

He felt his body become wracked with pain as he usually did every full moon. Felt his bones shift and change, could hear his own screams filling the room. But it was the only screams he heard.

He looked over to Severus and felt his heart clench. He wasn't transforming. He tried moving towards him and paused when the grim realization hit him.

Severus wasn't breathing.

'No...' He thought as he yelled out as loud as he could that soon turned into a loud and agonized howl as the transformation completed itself.

He stayed still as the pain left his body and looked over to Sev, his ears pulled back. Mooney knew something was wrong. He crept slowly towards Severus but the stag that he hadn't seen in a while stood in his way. Mooney growled at him and the stag stomped it's foot. Mooney growled at him in warning and tried to edge around him, his ears still back and his fur raised.

The stag didn't stop him as he moved around him. He slowly moved to the human boy he loved to play with.

He looked down at him, a whine emanating from his throat. He nudged him with his nose but the boy didn't move. He nudged him again and realized what was wrong.

His mate was dead.

Mooney pulled back and howled again, an agonized cry that could be heard all the way back at the school. He howled over and over before he laid down beside the boy.

Prongs looked at Padfoot. Neither of them had seen Mooney look so hurt so... defeated. It pained them both to think that the death of this boy had effected the werewolf so profoundly.

Mooney rested his head on Severus chest and whined. Nudging him over and over hoping it would bring him back. Padfoot moved around to look at Mooney, hoping to help as much as possible.

What he saw shocked him. Mooney was crying.

The werewolf had tears streaming down it's cheeks soaking into the blanket. The werewolf whined and nudged his cheek against Severus' face.

Both the wolf and the dog jumped back in shock as Severus suddenly gasped and tensed up in pain his eyes shooting open.

The werewolf jumped up excitedly and stared down at the boy as he began to writhe on the floor. He could see and hear the sounds of bones popping. He could see the fur begin to appear on his body and moments later the transformation was complete.

The other werewolf lay on the ground on it's back breathing heavily for a few moments before it slowly moved onto it's stomach. It stayed there with it's ears back and it's eyes closed. It was a small black werewolf that looked much smaller than Mooney. It slowly opened it's eyes and looked up at Mooney. It tried to move up onto its feet but was still weak and fell back onto it's stomach. It whined in pain.

Mooney moved closer and sniffed at him. It was a strange werewolf he had never seen before but it was indeed his mate. How ever his mate had a totally different response then he had expected.

Sev growled at him and swiped at him as soon as he came near. Mooney yipped and backed away a moment. Padfoot growled at Severus in warning and Severus moved slowly across the floor to the other side of the room.

He stayed in the corner keeping his eyes on all three of the strange creatures around him. Growling at any of them who came near him.

He was like a wounded dog wanting to be left alone to lick it's wounds. He just felt so weak but at the same time felt so energized. He could feel the call of the moon but refused to take his eyes off the three in the room.

He tried to stand up again, managing to get onto two feet, his front hand against the wall for balance a moment before he fell again. That was the last time he would try that.

He stayed on the ground huffing from effort and staring at the three in the room.

Mooney tried to come near him again but he growled, his fur raised. Mooney tilted his head to the side and laid down on his stomach. He wanted to be near to the other wolf. He wanted to take care of him, but the little black one wouldn't let him near.

Mooney slowly crawled on his stomach towards him pausing when ever the black one would look at him.

He slowly but surly made his way to him and licked it's face gently. It looked at him confused and still on guard but let him sniff him out. The black one sniffed him back taking in his scent.

Mooney stared at the three lines on the black ones jaw, like a scar marring it's perfect black fur. Mooney whined and licked the three lines.

The black one snarled and looked away from Mooney as if he was mad at him. Mooney edged a little closer and nudged his head.

Padfoot looked at Prongs wondering what they should do. They could tell neither wolf was in danger of hurting each other now but... it just seemed wrong to leave them alone. But at the same time seemed wrong to stay and witness this exchange.

They watched as Mooney nudged him a few more times. The black one ignoring him each time.

Padfoot growled at him for ignoring his friend and the black one looked at him and growled back. The black one knew there was something about the dog that he didn't like.

He tried standing again, Mooney backing off allowing him the space. He managed to get up onto all fours and move slowly towards the black dog. He circled the black dog, sniffing at him every once in a while. The dog shrank down and growled at him more before the black one got bored with it and moved over to the stag.

He was a bit more cautious with this one. It was much bigger and it's hooves looked dangerous. He slowly moved up to it and cautiously sniffed the air.

The stag stomped it's foot and the black on flinched back a moment and looked up at it. It didn't make another move and he moved in to sniff it again.

He got bored with this one to and moved around to circle around Mooney. His strength was slowly come back to him and he sniffed at Mooney a few more times before he batted him in the head.

Mooney yelped and growled at him. He didn't understand why his mate was attacking him. The black one growled at him and dove at him bitting his neck.

Mooney howled and tried to shake him off. He clawed at the black ones side as the dog tackled him off of Mooney. The black one proceeded to attack the black dog a moment before the stag reared back making the black one back away. The stag stomped the ground in front of him keeping the werewolf back.

The stag reared back again as the black one tried to tackle it and knocked it back. The black one was knocked back and slid on the ground but was back up onto it's feet again.

The black one stared at Mooney on the other side of the two animals and Mooney then understood. The black one was fighting for dominance.

Mooney nudged the dog out of the way and moved past the stag who stared at him. Mooney growled at the black one. He wouldn't hurt his mate, just prove to him that he was the alpha male.

Padfoot tried to interfere again but Prongs kept him back. It shook it's head at him as the two werewolves began to fight.

The black one put up a decent fight but kept getting knocked back down. The black one moved in on Mooney's neck again but was once again batted back.

Mooney growled at him and stood up to his full hight. The black one backed down and stared at him. Mooney growled at him. The black one just kept staring. The black one moved up and Mooney tackled him to the ground. They wrestled for a moment before the black one rolled onto it's back under Mooney.

Mooney huffed at the black one and moved away from him, turning his back on him.

Padfoot was confused as to why Mooney would do this when the black one was adamant on fighting him. He was even more confused when the black one stared at him a few more moments before moving to explore the room, now ignoring Mooney again.

Padfoot huffed. He would never understand werewolves. Prongs followed around the black one, keeping at a safe distance as Padfoot followed Mooney. Both of the werewolves ignored each other for hours before the black one came back to the room and laid down, it's head resting on it's paws.

----------

Remus stirred, the scratched wood of the Shack digging into his tender skin. He coughed, wondering for a brief instant if his Mother would make him breakfast. Then he jolted, his joints jarring with the sudden morning effort.

'Severus!' he thought, casting a bleary eye over the room.

Severus was already awake and sitting against the wall in the room, the blanket wrapped tightly around him.

Remus hauled himself to his feet, reaching for his loose robe on the shelf.

"Sev?" He asked, unsure as he draped his bleeding skin in fabric. Remus only vaguely took in that his face was still bleeding slightly. He cautiously approached the older boy, silently elated that he was alive, but also facing the crushing agony of knowing he would never be forgiven.

As he got closer he realized that Severus was crying gently and staring blankly at the floor. He didn't respond to him at all.

As much as he hated himself, Remus couldn't bear to see the boy he loved crying. He wanted to do something, anything. He'd die rather than see Severus upset again. But also he knew. He knew how it felt the first time. The feeling that nothing in your life could ever be good again... it was like drowning.

"What did you do to me?" Severus asked. He knew but wanted confirmation.

Remus swallowed and looked away, barely keeping the tears from his voice.

"I bit you..."

"I know but..." Severus didn't know what to say. Severus sat for a few minutes and stared blankly. Remus tried to move closer to him but was knocked back by a fist connecting with his face.

Remus accepted the blow, falling back against the hard floor. He blinked the tears from his eyes but remained silent. He wanted Sev to hit him, to punish him for ruining his life so comprehensively.

Severus moved up again and punched him again making his nose bleed. The blanket fell from him as he advanced on Remus. he looked pissed.

Remus wanted to shut his eyes and pretend Severus wasn't looking at him like he hated him. He knew he deserved it, but it still hurt thinking they could never be like they were.

"Why?" he asked shaking.

His head still bowed, Remus tried not to sound accusatory or angry.

"Because you were there."

"So this is my fault?" he asked shaking in fear and anger.

"You promised me nothing you happen!"

Remus didn't raise his voice, but his fists trembles by his sides.

"You promised you'd never hurt me!" unlike Remus, Severus did yell.

Remus recoiled, his voice dropping to almost a whisper.

"Then I guess we're both liars..."

Severus stared at him a few moments looking disgusted and turned away from him as Madame Pomfrey came into the room with with their clothes. She paused and took in Remus bloody nose but wasn't surprised.

Remus snatched his clothes away and didn't look at her. He wished he wasn't so surprised that Severus was this angry with him. He didn't care that he was bleeding all over. Slipped his clothes onto a ledge he went to sit on the bed. He didn't want to go back today.

Severus didn't look at Remus as he got dressed.

The strong feelings of post transformation despair and weakness still washed over the younger boy, as he knew they did with Severus. He didn't want to fight, but both of them seemed so ready to give up on their relationship. Remus didn't even care where Sirius and James had gone.

Severus finished dressing and waited for Pomfrey and Remus to finish leaving.

Remus didn't move once he had pulled on his robes. He just slumped onto the bed and frowned. He didn't want to go back to class today, he just wanted to sit and ache and bleed for a bit. It was cathartic.

Severus shook his head and moved towards the door. Pomfrey gasped and ran to the boy as he collapsed near the door his hand gripping the wall.

Remus did not look. He knew how terrible the feeling could be. Madame Pomfrey could look after him better than an adolescent boy. He cracked his shoulder blade and sat up.

Severus glanced at Remus. He didn't want Pomfery's help he wanted Remus help. He shrugged Pomfery off of him and struggled to his feet. He was pissed at Remus yes but he was still his boyfriend and it should be him helping him. He sneered and moved out of the room.

Remus growled and followed him, his hands behind his head.

"If you want me to be nice you might have to ask, and stop being like this... I said I was sorry, but no amount of bitching at me is going to make it any better." He didn't mean to sound so bothered, just he had just finished his transformation and his temper was running short.

"Why should I have to ask you to be nice to me?" He asked. "Just leave me alone." He felt tears springing to his eyes as Pomfrey lead them back towards the school and to the hospital wing to tend to their wounds.

Once they got there Sev sat on his bed while Remus being tended to. He sat and placed his head in his hands, covering his face. He wanted to cry but found that he couldn't. He sat back up and noticed a piece of paper on the side table. He seemed to remember getting the letter from his parents but it's contents where... blurry at best. He remembered it wasn't good, but not shocking.

He picked up the paper looking confused and opened it.

Remus flinched away from Madame Pomfrey's hand as she tried to patch up his torn face. He knew Severus could barely remember what had happened between moons and he didn't want this blow to come as such a shock.

"Severus!"

Severus paused as he pulled at the envelope and looked up at Remus, his expression blank.

Ignoring his pain, Remus knelt at Severus's feet, slipping the letter from his hands.

"I'm sorry..."

"Give me back my letter Remus." He said quietly. He wasn't forceful just... sad.

Remus sighed and handed the letter back. He knew the news would hurt Severus, but it was the cold, unfeeling tone of the letter that made Remus's heart break. He did love his Sev so much, it hurt to let someone else hurt him, like this.

Remus watched as Severus read over the letter. Knew he was reading it over a few times before the letter fell from his hands and onto the floor. Severus was shaking again.

The younger boy was sat on the bed, holding his boyfriend if that's what they still were.

"I'm so sorry Sev..."

Was all he could whisper, over and over. The idea of someone rejecting Severus now made him sick.

Severus clenched his fists and closed his eyes trying to hold back the tears but it was too much. He held onto Remus like a drowning man to a life preserver as his tears finally gave way. Pomfrey watched them a few moments before giving them their privacy.

"It's ok... " Remus soothed, knowing that soon it would be. "It's ok..."

Severus pulled away from him, sniffing and whipping his nose. "No it's not!" Severus said. "How could say that? I'm a fucking werewolf with no parents and no where to go!" He said. "What the fuck am I going to do?" He stood up and ran his hands through his hair. "It's all fucked..."

"Anything." Remus tried not to snap. "You haven't lost your legs. You can live with me... "

"I don't care about me!" Severus almost yelled. This confused Remus. "You don't get it! It's not me that's fucked from this!"

"Then what, Sev?! What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You remember how I told you I had eight brothers and sisters?" He asked. "To be more precise I have seven brothers and one sister... she's four years old and doesn't talk because she is constantly abused by my father.... In two months... The papers where going to be finalized and I would have been her legal guardian." He bit his lip trying to control his emotions. "I have to get her out of there. When I turned seventeen I had that opportunity... now it's all fucked.... they won't give a four year old girl to a fucking seventeen year old WEREWOLF!"

Remus paused, looking at his feet, his mind flashing to the images of the little girl in Severus's pictures.

"... They might."

To be honest Remus was shocked to hear about this. He had no idea Severus was looking to get custody of his sister.

"When were you going to tell me?" He asked. Severus sighed.

"I tried to... a few times but... something always came up." He said sitting back down on the bed. "And they won't give me custody of her now... They would classify me as a danger to her."

Remus bit his lip and twisted his hands in his lap. He had absorbed a lot of information in one go and now he was trying to make words out of it.

"They tried to take me away from my parents because I was 'a danger' but I'm not..."

"There's a difference between taking someone away and giving them to someone." He said. "As far as they are concerned there is no actual danger from my father. Or at least no proof of said danger." Severus sighed. "She's just a baby and he..." He shook his head. "I don't know how he can do that she's... she's just a baby."

Remus tried not to look as angry as he felt.

"Then you have to fight it... I know you think it's totally hopeless, but it's not. How can you be a danger to her when for 99% of the month you are exactly the same person as you are now?"

"Of course I'll fight for her!" Severus said. "But they don't see it that way!"

"Well... they are going to. Dumbledore will help... he has to. He's been so good to me since I hit school age. And... I'll help too... you know..."

"Dumbledore is already pulling strings without this werewolf thing and it's already been more than a hassle for him. They don't want to give me custody as is because I don't have the financial means to take care of a child." Severus sighed as Pomfrey came back into the room. She moved towards the boys with a potion in each hand and handed them to the boys.

Remus drained his and sighed.

"Something will come about Sev... it can't stay like this. I never really understood why they hate... people like me. You're not going to give up, so you'll get her. If it's as shocking as you say then you have to get her..."

"Yeah.... sure..." He held up his hand too look at it. "I'm a werewolf." He said sounding an cross between confused and angry.

"Yeah... " echoed Remus. "... we both are, Sev."

Severus sighed and drank his potion back in one gulp and placed the bottle on the table next to him. He stared at his arm as he watched the smaller of the scratches physically heal in front of his eyes. He shook his head and stood up to leave the infirmary not knowing what else to say to Remus.

---

Pasha: Sorry... there's no conversation from us today. Schiff is mad at me and I'm in the cupboard...
Schiff: LIES!!!!!!
Pasha: What?
Schiff: I'm not mad at you! I was in class...