Blind Beauty
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Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
36
Views:
40,014
Reviews:
227
Recommended:
2
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
36
Views:
40,014
Reviews:
227
Recommended:
2
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Morning News
Chapter Number/Total: 15/36
Chapter Title: Morning News
Words: 1977 Words
Remus was drinking coffee. He didn't do breakfast, and Tonks didn't do mornings.
Draco followed Harry down the stairs into the kitchen, still feeling uncomfortable about Lupin, but also curious about him. He had so far avoided the man for the couple days that he had been at Grimmauld.
"Good morning," Harry said once they stepped inside, hoping he was actually saying it to someone else. He reached back for Draco's hand.
"Morning," Remus said, sounding a bit tired.
Draco had taken the gloves off and was still afraid to take Harry's hand, looking at the offered hand with a frown. Old memories crowded his mind for a minute and he shook himself.
Harry frowned and glanced back. "You still there, Draco?" he asked, still holding out his hand.
"Yes," Draco answered cautiously. He made a fist, curling his claws into his palm and let Harry grasp it.
Harry smiled as he carefully walked more into the kitchen, reaching for chairs. "How're you, Remus?" he asked, finding one and pulling it out.
Draco stood staring down at the table, or more importantly, at a copy of the Daily Prophet lying on the table next to Remus's coffee cup. The headline read, "Death Eater Werewolf Released from Azkaban! Ministry Investigates Aurors."
Remus looked up at Draco, eyes widened for a moment in surprise to see him. Then he followed Draco's gaze and nodded. He looked toward Harry and shook his head, indicating to Draco not to say anything.
Harry sat down with a sigh, wondering why things got so quiet suddenly. Maybe Remus left. "Hello?" He rested his forehead on the table, resisting the urge to bang his head against it until his sight returned. It was so frustrating.
"Still here, Harry," Remus said. "Would either of you like some tea or coffee? Sit down, Draco, I'll get it." The man stood up and went to the counter.
Draco nodded and then remembered he should say things aloud for Harry. "Tea, with milk and sugar, thank you," he said. The words were polite, but the voice was still so deep it startled him. He pulled out the chair next to Harry and sat down.
"Coffee is fine, Remus," Harry replied, sitting up in his seat. "With milk and sugar, please," he added. He could feel that Draco was next to him, so he leaned on him, feeling almost normal.
Harry was leaning against his left arm. Draco reached out carefully with his right and turned the paper around so he could read it without picking it up and attracting attention. He frowned and glanced over at Remus.
Remus returned with their cups, setting them down in front of them. "Here you are, Harry," he said. He looked at Draco and shrugged, his face sympathetic.
"Thank you," Harry said, sitting up straight as he picked up the cup and blew on it before taking a sip. "Remus, when can I get a new wand?" he asked a moment later.
Remus's face brightened. "Any time you like, Harry," he said. "The wand shop reopened last week."
Harry smiled, trying not to bounce in his seat. "I can't wait to go!"
"Well, I want to be here when Tonks gets up. There is ... something I need to talk with her about. But after that I could take you. Or you could call Ron or Hermione and have them take you," Remus explained, still watching Draco.
"Oh." He paused, thinking about having to explain what happened after he left. "All right, Remus. Maybe I'll wait for you."
Draco finished the article and huffed in disgust. He wanted to rip it to shreds but he held back, his hand on the table a fist.
Remus raised an eyebrow. "That's okay, Harry," he said. "But you can't put off talking with them for too long. They should hear it from you, not others." He met Draco's eye, nodding his acknowledgement that he understood.
"I know," Harry mumbled, looking in Draco's direction when he huffed. "What's wrong?"
Draco shrugged and then frowned, trying to find his voice. He didn't like the sound of his voice now and it seemed like a long time since anyone had actually talked to him. "Nothing," he said. "Just hungry, I guess."
"You should eat something then," Harry commented, nodding.
"You going to let me go long enough to see what's here?" he asked, his tone a mixture of amusement and annoyance.
Harry blushed a bit, embarrassed as he moved a bit more away from Draco. "Yes ...."
Draco got up and went to look through the kitchen and find some food. The problem was that he couldn't really use his hands well. He picked up a jar of jam and it slipped through his claws, hitting the floor with a loud smack and the shattering of glass. He jumped back instinctively, snarling.
Harry jumped at both of the sounds, biting his lip. "What happened?!" he said, a bit of fear in his voice.
Remus almost laughed, shaking his head. "It's okay, Harry," he said. "Draco just dropped the jam."
Draco was cursing. It sounded like a dog snarling. He began to try to pick up the glass but became frustrated when the claws made it hard to get a grip on the pieces of glass.
"Oh ...." Harry relaxed, running a hand through his hair. "Maybe you should help him," he said to Remus, recognising the frustration in his growls.
Remus was already getting up from his chair. "Sure, Harry," he said. He cautiously approached Draco, working his way around so that he came toward the snarling wolf-Draco from the front and not behind. He held out hands. "Draco, may I help with that?" he asked cautiously.
Draco looked up from where he crouched, startled. He bristled at first but then took several deep breaths and backed away from the mess.
"Why don't I get us all some toast and marmalade?" Remus asked as he bent and began to pick up the mess.
"That's fine. Draco, are you okay?" Harry asked, turning a bit in his seat.
Draco was shaking, trying to control his temper. He wanted to hit something, to bite something or to run away. He stood taking deep breaths while he dug his claws into his palms.
"Give Draco a few minutes, Harry," Remus said. He watched Draco carefully, but didn't interfere. He used his wand to remove the mess, sending it to the trash bin. Then he made toast and floated the plates and condiments to the table.
"All right," Harry answered, feeling a bit dejected as he turned back to the table. He wished he could help Draco more with everything. He nodded, deciding to try his best, with or without his sight.
Draco was calmer but he needed ... something. "Excuse me," he said gruffly and then climbed the stairs quickly, leaving the room.
"Harry," Remus said before Harry could follow him. "I need to talk to you."
"Yes?" He had turned to follow Draco, but sat back in his seat, waiting for Remus to go on.
"We need to talk about Draco," Remus said quietly. "I am not sure you understand what you have gotten yourself into."
Harry nodded slowly, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear. "Go on then," he murmured.
Remus sighed. "I am not even sure where to begin. I am not an Auror, so I didn't see the Pensieve of what happened that night. But I have heard enough details to know that it was pretty bad."
"The night I killed Voldemort?" he asked, looking thoughtful. He fiddled with his cup, running his finger around the rim.
"Yes, that night," Remus said. "Is there another one I should know about?"
"No," he mumbled, shaking his head quickly.
Remus frowned, knowing that there was still something that Harry wasn't telling but letting it go. "Well, it has to be difficult to be with someone after you have shared that kind of experience," he said. "And then there are your -- physical issues."
"My physical issues," he repeated quietly, looking down at the table.
"Yes," Remus said, "I know they are hard to talk about. Your loss of sight and his partial loss, to begin with."
"I ... I want to help," he said, looking up again. "I'm trying."
"But it is a lot more than that," Remus continued. "The loss of his wand and sight would be bad enough. But now he feels he has no control over his body either. I know how that feels."
"Yeah, what do I do?" he asked.
"I don't know if I have answers," Remus said. "What I just witnessed was a young man at war with himself. I don't know how much is the wolf and how much is the sheer frustration of what he has been through. I don't know if he knows."
Harry sighed, nodding again. He had no idea what to say to that, so he didn't reply.
"I am worried about you, Harry," Remus said. "I am concerned that helping Draco might be too much to deal with."
"What do you want me to do then?" he asked quietly, biting at his lip again. The thought of just leaving him made him begin to think again about how it was all his fault. He clenched his fists.
"Is this about guilt or love?" Remus asked. "Because I don't think helping out of guilt will be good for either of you."
"I love him," he whispered, slowly unclenching his fists, "and I have to do something."
"Getting your wand is a good start," Remus said, leaning back. "At least then, one of you could do magic."
"I'll get that. What else? What were you saying about helping Draco might be too much to deal with?" he asked, wanting to know exactly what he meant.
"A part-wolf like him is dangerous. The were-magic is not controlled by the moon. It is neither on nor off," Remus said. "It makes it hard for him to control his emotions and his body's reactions."
"Oh, I don't care if he hurts me by accident," Harry said without thinking.
"He does," Remus said.
"Are you saying I should stay away from him?" Harry asked.
"No," Remus said, "because, if your behaviour at Azkaban is any indication, that won't make either of you happy. He is better around you. And you seem better since you got him out. But maybe you should figure out why it doesn't bother you that he might hurt you?"
"Because I know he doesn't mean it," Harry replied, nodding. "All the times he ever hurt me; I knew he didn't mean to."
"But how do you feel about the pain, the injury itself? It doesn't scare you?" Remus asked.
Harry unconsciously rubbed the back of his head where the cut was. "It hurts, I guess ... but, I don't know ..." he managed to say, looking confused.
"But the pain doesn't bother you?" Remus said. "I mean, Harry, there are people who wouldn't mind the pain. Who might even like it." Harry couldn't see Remus's blush.
Harry flushed, shrugging. He wouldn't tell him that he purposely cut his finger on one of Draco's claws then licked away the blood. He wouldn't tell him that he kind of liked it at all. "It doesn't bother me," he mumbled.
"Then tell him that," Remus said. "If he is afraid of hurting you, maybe you need to tell him why it doesn't bother you."
Harry nodded, sucking on the tip of his thumb where the cut was. "I will."
"He might have had time to calm down now," Remus said. "Do you want to go after him now?"
"Yes," Harry replied, already beginning to slip out of his chair. "Thank you, Remus," he said as he walked toward the staircase.
Chapter Title: Morning News
Words: 1977 Words
Remus was drinking coffee. He didn't do breakfast, and Tonks didn't do mornings.
Draco followed Harry down the stairs into the kitchen, still feeling uncomfortable about Lupin, but also curious about him. He had so far avoided the man for the couple days that he had been at Grimmauld.
"Good morning," Harry said once they stepped inside, hoping he was actually saying it to someone else. He reached back for Draco's hand.
"Morning," Remus said, sounding a bit tired.
Draco had taken the gloves off and was still afraid to take Harry's hand, looking at the offered hand with a frown. Old memories crowded his mind for a minute and he shook himself.
Harry frowned and glanced back. "You still there, Draco?" he asked, still holding out his hand.
"Yes," Draco answered cautiously. He made a fist, curling his claws into his palm and let Harry grasp it.
Harry smiled as he carefully walked more into the kitchen, reaching for chairs. "How're you, Remus?" he asked, finding one and pulling it out.
Draco stood staring down at the table, or more importantly, at a copy of the Daily Prophet lying on the table next to Remus's coffee cup. The headline read, "Death Eater Werewolf Released from Azkaban! Ministry Investigates Aurors."
Remus looked up at Draco, eyes widened for a moment in surprise to see him. Then he followed Draco's gaze and nodded. He looked toward Harry and shook his head, indicating to Draco not to say anything.
Harry sat down with a sigh, wondering why things got so quiet suddenly. Maybe Remus left. "Hello?" He rested his forehead on the table, resisting the urge to bang his head against it until his sight returned. It was so frustrating.
"Still here, Harry," Remus said. "Would either of you like some tea or coffee? Sit down, Draco, I'll get it." The man stood up and went to the counter.
Draco nodded and then remembered he should say things aloud for Harry. "Tea, with milk and sugar, thank you," he said. The words were polite, but the voice was still so deep it startled him. He pulled out the chair next to Harry and sat down.
"Coffee is fine, Remus," Harry replied, sitting up in his seat. "With milk and sugar, please," he added. He could feel that Draco was next to him, so he leaned on him, feeling almost normal.
Harry was leaning against his left arm. Draco reached out carefully with his right and turned the paper around so he could read it without picking it up and attracting attention. He frowned and glanced over at Remus.
Remus returned with their cups, setting them down in front of them. "Here you are, Harry," he said. He looked at Draco and shrugged, his face sympathetic.
"Thank you," Harry said, sitting up straight as he picked up the cup and blew on it before taking a sip. "Remus, when can I get a new wand?" he asked a moment later.
Remus's face brightened. "Any time you like, Harry," he said. "The wand shop reopened last week."
Harry smiled, trying not to bounce in his seat. "I can't wait to go!"
"Well, I want to be here when Tonks gets up. There is ... something I need to talk with her about. But after that I could take you. Or you could call Ron or Hermione and have them take you," Remus explained, still watching Draco.
"Oh." He paused, thinking about having to explain what happened after he left. "All right, Remus. Maybe I'll wait for you."
Draco finished the article and huffed in disgust. He wanted to rip it to shreds but he held back, his hand on the table a fist.
Remus raised an eyebrow. "That's okay, Harry," he said. "But you can't put off talking with them for too long. They should hear it from you, not others." He met Draco's eye, nodding his acknowledgement that he understood.
"I know," Harry mumbled, looking in Draco's direction when he huffed. "What's wrong?"
Draco shrugged and then frowned, trying to find his voice. He didn't like the sound of his voice now and it seemed like a long time since anyone had actually talked to him. "Nothing," he said. "Just hungry, I guess."
"You should eat something then," Harry commented, nodding.
"You going to let me go long enough to see what's here?" he asked, his tone a mixture of amusement and annoyance.
Harry blushed a bit, embarrassed as he moved a bit more away from Draco. "Yes ...."
Draco got up and went to look through the kitchen and find some food. The problem was that he couldn't really use his hands well. He picked up a jar of jam and it slipped through his claws, hitting the floor with a loud smack and the shattering of glass. He jumped back instinctively, snarling.
Harry jumped at both of the sounds, biting his lip. "What happened?!" he said, a bit of fear in his voice.
Remus almost laughed, shaking his head. "It's okay, Harry," he said. "Draco just dropped the jam."
Draco was cursing. It sounded like a dog snarling. He began to try to pick up the glass but became frustrated when the claws made it hard to get a grip on the pieces of glass.
"Oh ...." Harry relaxed, running a hand through his hair. "Maybe you should help him," he said to Remus, recognising the frustration in his growls.
Remus was already getting up from his chair. "Sure, Harry," he said. He cautiously approached Draco, working his way around so that he came toward the snarling wolf-Draco from the front and not behind. He held out hands. "Draco, may I help with that?" he asked cautiously.
Draco looked up from where he crouched, startled. He bristled at first but then took several deep breaths and backed away from the mess.
"Why don't I get us all some toast and marmalade?" Remus asked as he bent and began to pick up the mess.
"That's fine. Draco, are you okay?" Harry asked, turning a bit in his seat.
Draco was shaking, trying to control his temper. He wanted to hit something, to bite something or to run away. He stood taking deep breaths while he dug his claws into his palms.
"Give Draco a few minutes, Harry," Remus said. He watched Draco carefully, but didn't interfere. He used his wand to remove the mess, sending it to the trash bin. Then he made toast and floated the plates and condiments to the table.
"All right," Harry answered, feeling a bit dejected as he turned back to the table. He wished he could help Draco more with everything. He nodded, deciding to try his best, with or without his sight.
Draco was calmer but he needed ... something. "Excuse me," he said gruffly and then climbed the stairs quickly, leaving the room.
"Harry," Remus said before Harry could follow him. "I need to talk to you."
"Yes?" He had turned to follow Draco, but sat back in his seat, waiting for Remus to go on.
"We need to talk about Draco," Remus said quietly. "I am not sure you understand what you have gotten yourself into."
Harry nodded slowly, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear. "Go on then," he murmured.
Remus sighed. "I am not even sure where to begin. I am not an Auror, so I didn't see the Pensieve of what happened that night. But I have heard enough details to know that it was pretty bad."
"The night I killed Voldemort?" he asked, looking thoughtful. He fiddled with his cup, running his finger around the rim.
"Yes, that night," Remus said. "Is there another one I should know about?"
"No," he mumbled, shaking his head quickly.
Remus frowned, knowing that there was still something that Harry wasn't telling but letting it go. "Well, it has to be difficult to be with someone after you have shared that kind of experience," he said. "And then there are your -- physical issues."
"My physical issues," he repeated quietly, looking down at the table.
"Yes," Remus said, "I know they are hard to talk about. Your loss of sight and his partial loss, to begin with."
"I ... I want to help," he said, looking up again. "I'm trying."
"But it is a lot more than that," Remus continued. "The loss of his wand and sight would be bad enough. But now he feels he has no control over his body either. I know how that feels."
"Yeah, what do I do?" he asked.
"I don't know if I have answers," Remus said. "What I just witnessed was a young man at war with himself. I don't know how much is the wolf and how much is the sheer frustration of what he has been through. I don't know if he knows."
Harry sighed, nodding again. He had no idea what to say to that, so he didn't reply.
"I am worried about you, Harry," Remus said. "I am concerned that helping Draco might be too much to deal with."
"What do you want me to do then?" he asked quietly, biting at his lip again. The thought of just leaving him made him begin to think again about how it was all his fault. He clenched his fists.
"Is this about guilt or love?" Remus asked. "Because I don't think helping out of guilt will be good for either of you."
"I love him," he whispered, slowly unclenching his fists, "and I have to do something."
"Getting your wand is a good start," Remus said, leaning back. "At least then, one of you could do magic."
"I'll get that. What else? What were you saying about helping Draco might be too much to deal with?" he asked, wanting to know exactly what he meant.
"A part-wolf like him is dangerous. The were-magic is not controlled by the moon. It is neither on nor off," Remus said. "It makes it hard for him to control his emotions and his body's reactions."
"Oh, I don't care if he hurts me by accident," Harry said without thinking.
"He does," Remus said.
"Are you saying I should stay away from him?" Harry asked.
"No," Remus said, "because, if your behaviour at Azkaban is any indication, that won't make either of you happy. He is better around you. And you seem better since you got him out. But maybe you should figure out why it doesn't bother you that he might hurt you?"
"Because I know he doesn't mean it," Harry replied, nodding. "All the times he ever hurt me; I knew he didn't mean to."
"But how do you feel about the pain, the injury itself? It doesn't scare you?" Remus asked.
Harry unconsciously rubbed the back of his head where the cut was. "It hurts, I guess ... but, I don't know ..." he managed to say, looking confused.
"But the pain doesn't bother you?" Remus said. "I mean, Harry, there are people who wouldn't mind the pain. Who might even like it." Harry couldn't see Remus's blush.
Harry flushed, shrugging. He wouldn't tell him that he purposely cut his finger on one of Draco's claws then licked away the blood. He wouldn't tell him that he kind of liked it at all. "It doesn't bother me," he mumbled.
"Then tell him that," Remus said. "If he is afraid of hurting you, maybe you need to tell him why it doesn't bother you."
Harry nodded, sucking on the tip of his thumb where the cut was. "I will."
"He might have had time to calm down now," Remus said. "Do you want to go after him now?"
"Yes," Harry replied, already beginning to slip out of his chair. "Thank you, Remus," he said as he walked toward the staircase.