Transfiguration of the Heart

Chapter 15- Viktor’s Prerogative

After two horribly exhausting days trying to stay as far away from Snape as was humanly possible, Hermione was ready to go insane. Not that she wanted to stay away from him necessarily, but she had needed some space… some time… to decide what she was going to do about this matter. That little experience in the storeroom was enough to completely turn her world upside down. She had been unable to shake him from her mind, even during her classes when she should have been concentrating on her students.

For so long she had only thought it was some juvenile infatuation she had entertained. But now, here it was, presented to her in real life… the opportunity to get close to Severus Snape.

Who would have even pegged Severus Snape capable of lust? Or even of “like”? The man had never shown anyone more than a sneer or given anything else than an intentionally hurtful comment, and yet here he was saying that he wanted to know her much more… personally… than she had ever planned. Just the fact that she had heard from his own lips… such impossibly interesting, enticing lips they were… that he was even fond of her was startling enough.

As far as she was concerned, her answer to what she would do with this quagmire had been made up the minute Severus had pushed her back up against the shelves in the potions room in a completely non-threatening, but wholly dominant, way. She had always been a sucker when it came to strong men… because they were just so hard to find nowadays. Even Viktor was a little too in touch with a more feminine side, like many Wizard and Muggle celebrities were. Snape had conviction; he was extremely intelligent. He was masculine in every sense of the word, at least to her he was, that edge of unpredictability and danger always following him around. What she enjoyed most about him was that he was going to be and do what he wanted, no matter what others said. This was who he was, take it or leave it.

And she was definitely not ready to leave it.

It was now just a matter of letting him know this, without making a fool of herself. He certainly would not appreciate it if she was timid about it, but he did not seem keen on being around her much either, missing meals in the Great Hall, and sitting as far away from her as he could at the faculty meeting Friday morning.

Viktor’s friends had been helpful, though, in making her forget about Snape some of the time. And if anything, it was doing a world of good making Snape jealous spending time with each one of them, and now out to London on an evening with Viktor for her birthday.

Hermione sat across from the brute of a man, watching him carefully, wondering if he could tell her sudden change of heart. If he did, he was playing it off very, very well… and she knew he was not that great an actor. His real thoughts always showed in his face. She was only slightly regretful for thinking of Snape while being shown an exceptionally lovely time out on the town in London, though, which confused her some more. Normally she would be completely ashamed to be thinking of another man, while another— another one that she should have been entertaining thoughts of love and marriage with—was spending gobs of money and pampering her to the best of his abilities.

He had even set her loose in a two-floor bookstore, and had endured two hours there before finally pulling her out the door and to dinner.

But she wasn’t ashamed. She wasn’t ashamed about thinking about Snape.

“Hermione, are you vell?”

She jumped slightly, pulling her gaze from the fireplace beside their dinner table in the posh, expensive little restaurant in Diagon Alley. Blinking a few times cleared her thoughts and the sight of dancing orange flames from her eyes, allowing her to focus on Viktor’s concerned features.

“I am,” she said and sighed. “I’m just… thinking.”

“About?”

Hermione shrugged. “How amazing you are.”

He let out a pleased chuckle. “I am glad that you think that, my Hermione.”

The comment crawled up her spine, causing her to shiver from discomfort.

“Viktor…” she began, but stopped herself for a moment. “You’ve really outdone yourself for my birthday, but I don’t deserve it, really.”

“Oh, yes you do,” he said. “You just say this because you think I vill be vanting more from you for it.”

“Won’t you?” she asked, sitting a little straighter in her seat.

He shook his head, “I cannot believe you think so little of me, Hermione. Yes, I vouldn’t mind your attentions, but I would never expect anything.”

Hermione sighed, feeling a blush creep to her cheeks in response to his statement. “It’s not that I think little of you… I just… am a little worried you’re getting the wrong idea here.”

“Wrong idea?” he asked.

“I’ve said that you can try to win my heart, but I only meant it playfully. I never wanted you to really woo me,” she said. So much for letting him down easily. “I just want you to be my friend, Viktor. I love you… as a friend. But I already went through a relationship with a friend that almost killed me from the inside out.”

Viktor nodded his head and steepled his fingers in front of his lips. “Ron is different than I am.”

“I know that, Viktor, but…” she paused. “I don’t want to take that risk. I couldn’t bear to lose you.”

He considered her carefully for a long minute before shifting in his seat and letting out a low, resigned sigh. “Hermione, I really do care for you. You are not some conquest like you have seen before with me.”

Well, he was putting up more of a fight than she had first thought he might. Perhaps there was more behind his advances than she had originally believed.

“Viktor, no,” she said.

“Are you absolutely certain?” he asked.

The thought that she was severing any relationship she might have had with this wonderful, handsome man for the snarky Potions master crossed her mind for a fleeting second. Was she really that insane to do this? She could have had a wonderful time with Viktor if she played into his advances. She did love him… even if it wasn’t in a completely romantic way. But now she was accepting her fate with Snape… and the possibility of a relationship that would never be a smooth one.

She was daft… nuttier than squirrel droppings.

“Yes I am,” she nodded. “More certain than I’ve ever been of anything in my life.”

He nodded his head quietly in acceptance of her wishes, and sighed. “I suppose I knew this… I only did not vant to believe it.”

“I know,” she said. “I don’t want to believe the fact I’m passing up this opportunity with Viktor Krum.”

Viktor laughed loudly at that. “Vell, you must know that my door is always open for you.”

She knew that he would not accept this resolutely… that was not the type of man he was, one to sit back and not fight for what he wanted.

“So who is the man you vould rather pursue you?” he asked.

“There isn’t another,” she said. “And even if there was one, I wouldn’t tell you. You’d go try to scare him off.”

Not that it would work with Snape.

“I vould,” he said with a roguish grin. “It is my prerogative.”

“I’ll remember that.”

-----

They returned to the castle a few hours later, but still early into the evening and still friends. Hermione felt as though a weight had lifted off of her shoulders, but a new sort of dread settling back down on her. How was she going to tell Snape about all this anyway? Fortunately… or unfortunately (only time would prove that)… an opportunity presented itself that evening as she was headed back towards Gryffindor tower and ran directly into Tonks.

“You’re back awfully early, Hermione,” said the pink-haired witch. “I’d’ve thought you’d be indisposed by now.”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Hopeful, are you?”

“Is it that apparent?” she asked. “Juicy information is hard to come by all the way out here in the middle of Scotland.”

“I highly doubt that,” Hermione said.

Tonks shrugged her shoulders and wrapped her arm in Hermione’s, pulling her down the corridor and away from the tower. “How was it, anyway?”

“Perfect,” she said, “like you’d expect from him.”

“And still no shag?” Tonks asked.

Hermione scoffed. “No! I like him, but you know I don’t fancy him like that.”

Tonks grunted, “Do you know how many women have tried to get in that man’s pants and have been unable to? Here he is throwing himself at you, and you push him away.”

“Viktor doesn’t throw himself at anyone,” Hermione said. “Bulgarian men are incapable of showing affection like that.”

“Please,” Tonks said. “I know what he’s been doing to get your affections.”

Hermione nodded and looked down the long corridor. “And as much as I appreciate them, I can’t accept them.”

Tonks shook her head in dismay, muttering something about being blind and dumb, but looked back up at Hermione with wide eyes. “Who is he?”

“Who is what?” Hermione asked.

“Obviously you got a better offer from someone else,” Tonks said. “I know you are not that thick skulled to pass up good opportunities… and if there was a better one than Viktor… I’m just saying it makes sense that you wouldn’t want him. Though, it’s hard to imagine who could be better than Viktor in the present state of things. And if you say Remus, he’s not going to live to see the next full moon.”

“The full moon is in two days,” Hermione laughed. “And Azkaban wouldn’t suit you, Tonks.”

“I suppose not,” she said. “But who is it?”

“There’s no one, really,” Hermione replied, but knew Tonks would not leave it at that.

Tonks laughed. “I believe that.”

“Well…” Hermione said.

“Come on, Hermione… out with it,” Tonks instructed. “Please tell me who could possibly be better than Viktor or my Remus.”

Hermione hesitated for a moment, looking up at the witch’s inquisitive, dark eyes. “It’s not that he’s better than either of them. He’s just more my type.”

“Your type?” Tonks asked.

“You know, the strong, intelligent type,” Hermione said. “Sort of.”

“I see,” Tonks said. “Well it has to be someone here, because you haven’t had much time outside the grounds recently except for Draco’s wedding.”

Hermione pursed her lips into a thin line, praying that the witch did not make the connection that she was hurdling towards. Tonks stopped suddenly, letting out a gasp of air. “You’re kidding me.”

Hermione shook her head, ashamed and unable to meet Tonks’ eyes.

“I knew something was going on there! I just can’t believe I didn’t see it right away. Usually I’m pretty good at that stuff,” Tonks said.

“Nothing’s ‘going on’ there,” Hermione said. “I’ve just been curious about him.”

“Right,” Tonks said. “Speaking of which, he was looking for you earlier.”

“He was? When? He knew I was going out with Viktor…” Hermione stopped herself. Tonks had just gotten all the confirmation she needed in that little outburst from Hermione.

Tonks laughed, “Nothing going on, eh?”

“No,” Hermione said. “Not yet at least.”

“You know, normally I would think someone was mad to be talking about this with him in context,” Tonks said. “But surely you’re in your right mind.”

“Sometimes I don’t think I am,” Hermione said. “I mean, what the bloody hell am I thinking I could have a relationship with him? Oh… I am daft.”

Tonks laughed again. “You know, he might not be so bad… and if anyone could stand that man, it’s you.”

“Thanks,” Hermione said and sighed. “You think?”

“I think so,” Tonks said. “But in the circumstance of the common witch, you’re one egg short of a dozen to be going after him.”

Hermione chuckled lowly. “You know, I’m not quite sure who is pursuing who right now. I’m confused… and we really shouldn’t be talking about this out here where others could hear us.”

“I think I’d know if someone were around and shouldn’t be,” she said.

“But Snape…”

“Isn’t here,” Tonks said. “He was looking for you earlier. A batch of the Wolfsbane was contaminated and St. Mungo’s contacted him to help with an antidote and brewing some more of the potion before this moon, and I think Snape needed help.”

Hermione shook her head. “Since when has Snape asked for help? And why could he not ask another of the many qualified teachers here?”

“True, he never has, but he was looking for you,” Tonks said.

“Should I go down there?” Hermione asked.

Tonks nodded, “I would. It could be important, and not related to you-know-what.”

“I should think ‘you-know-what’ is pretty bloody important,” Hermione said and parted from Tonks. “I’ll see you tomorrow at breakfast.”

“If you’re not there, I won’t worry,” Tonks said, waving her off.

Hermione turned on her heels and headed quickly down toward the dungeons. Suddenly remembering what she was wearing when the cold dungeon air prickled her skin, she crossed her arms over her chest. It was definitely not what one would wear if they intended to help with brewing potions… or intended to have a serious conversation with a possible… whatever.

The door to the Potions classroom was open a slight bit, and she heard someone moving about. Maybe he had needed help, but for him to break down and ask for her help…

She pushed the door open slightly and stepped inside, not finding the man in question, but a door opened back into his private lab area. There she found him hunched over a large cauldron. He did not bother to look up at her, and continued to stir the concoction. “Fifteen points from Gryffindor, Miss Granger, for keeping me waiting.”

“But…”

“No buts,” he said flatly and pointed over to the empty cauldron.

“I didn’t know I was serving a detention,” Hermione said sarcastically.

“Wolfsbane, now!” he said, flicking his wand to pull out the lab bench for her sit.

“Why me?”

He stopped for a moment, and glanced up at her quickly. “Because I enjoy your company more than the others.”

Hermione could not believe he had admitted such a thing, but he had and it made her smile to know how difficult it must have been for him to say it. She nodded her head resolutely, though, walking over to the empty cauldron and sitting down.