With Good Intentions

“The prosecution calls Hermione Granger.”

Sighing at the realization of how low Molly Weasley had sunk, Hermione rose and approached the witness chair.

“Please drink all of the liquid in this vial,” Wesley Scaleworthy, the Weasley solicitor directed.

“Your honors,” and she turned to face to judges, “I cannot be compelled to take this to testify.”

“I would think,” Hortense Sitzburger spoke down at Hermione, “that someone with your experience and training would know the court can and will force your compliance. Don’t be difficult, Miss Granger; you’ve yet to finish your exams.”

That statement confirmed why these proceedings were happening. Molly’s tenterhooks extended to the court.

“If I may,” a suave Lucius Malfoy interjected, “I believe I can clarify this. Hermione is not refusing to comply. In fact, she is legally prohibited from complying.”

“Mr. Malfoy, have you retained new counsel?”

“Not yet , your eminence,” the Slytherin responded with a mischievous glance at Hermione.

“Then do so with all haste. You are misinformed if you believe we cannot compel Miss Granger’s obedience. She can only refuse if she is —”

“— married to the defendant. She cannot be compelled by any writ or summons to incriminate her legal spouse. Yes, I have been so informed. Therefore, Mrs. Malfoy — the new Mrs. Malfoy — cannot testify for the prosecution.”

“Approach the bench solicitor; Mr. Malfoy.”

In what should have been silence, Molly Weasley ignited.

“Just like a death eater to lie to the judges’ faces! There’s been no announcement! Put that tart on the stand!”

At the bench, Galen Gallentine took control of the discussion.

“Mr. Malfoy, this court has no patience with blatant lies.”

“Despite what you’ve been told by the plaintiff, I am in fact married to the former Hermione Granger.”

“Shite.” Molly’s solicitor uttered in realization of what that information meant.

“I’d rather imagined you’d be happy for me, Mr. Scaleworthy.”

“When did this happen, Lucius?”

“The marriage? About two weeks ago. But if you’ll check with Oxford’s Magical Law School, you’ll see that Miss Granger has been living with me for almost four years.”

“Why was there no announcement in the Prophet? This pairing would have been news for months.”

“Precisely why we kept it private. I have no need for further scrutiny or threats and I’d prefer my wife be safe from attack by Molly Weasley’s fanatics.”

“You can prove this marriage is on the up and up? I’ve no tolerance for any shenanigans from you, Lucius.”

In lieu of a reply, Lucius removed a small vial from his robes and handed it to Judge Gallentine.

“Is this what I think it is?”

“Shall I call Hermione over?”

“I’ll handle it,” the resigned magistrate indicated, aware that Molly Weasley’s plans might come to nought.

“Miss Gran- Mrs. Malfoy? Please approach the bench.”

So far everything had played out to plan.

“Yes, your honor?”

“I’m sure you know that we’ll need a drop of your blood to confirm the Ministry’s terms for a legal marriage have been met.”

“Yes, sir.” and she volunteered her hand by extending it forward.

Hortense Sitzburger, a closet “Molly supporter” miffed at Hermione’s manipulation of the court, made the sample retrieval far more painful than necessary. Lucius’ expression, as the witch placed the droplets in a sterile vial, communicated his intent to repay her for her “kindness” to his spouse.  Lucius did the honors for himself and deposited the liquid blobs in the provided receptacle.

Gallentine swished his wand three times. After the first swish, the material in the vial turned a blood red color with golden sparkles. After the second swish Hermione’s blood turned an identical color with the same twinkling.

After the third flick the material in the vial morphed to a deep green, the sparkles bleeding from gold to silver — the colors in the Malfoy crest. So did the blood taken from Lucius in its container.

The tissue in the vial — Hermione’s post-marriage-bond hymen — bathed in Lucius Malfoy’s seed.

From her place at the plaintiff’s table, Molly shrieked in rage when the discussion broke up with Lucius and Hermione restraining smug grins.

“NO! It’s not POSSIBLE! Not even that slag could find an official to perform the ceremony! It’s a Death Eater trick!”

“Lord Malfoy,” Gallentine inquired, addressing the family head as was the custom among pure-bloods, “who did officiate your marriage?”

“The Minister of Magic — Kingsley Shacklebolt — as a favor to my wife. All duly witnessed and signed off. Thank you for your fairness in this,” and turning, he spoke to the predator expressing her disgust with her sour expression, “I could have saved us both a great deal of trouble, Hortense.”

“I’m sure you could, Mr. Malfoy, and avoided marrying a whore.”

“Miss Sitzburger, it will be my pleasure to clarify in private any misconceptions you may have concerning my beloved wife.”

Judge Gallentine, a business acquaintance of Lucius’ before life went arse-over-tits, recognized the veiled threat in his words.

“I would suggest a pensieve session with Minister Shacklebolt before you drag me down here again. Under Veritaserum, of course.”

“Why?”

“Because he was actually there when young Fred Weasley died. I was not in the school.”

At this, Molly made a tactical error.

“It doesn’t matter! You supported that maniac! You’re the reason he attacked the school and killed my boy!” 

“I believe you have me confused with your son-in-law, Harry Potter — it’s an easy mistake to make.”

“Voldemort’s dead and I’ll see to it you’re next!”

“I hope that’s on the court record. Mrs. Weasley has acknowledged my innocence and threatened my life. Is that sufficient to dismiss this case with prejudice?”

Hermione’d drilled him to look for this opportunity and ask for the dismissal.

The gavel swung, Lead Judge Gallintine spoke over Judge Sitzburger’s vocal objections and the case was dismissed.

For the next ten minutes two sounds drowned out all others — the sound of Molly Weasley’s anguished threats hurled at Lucius and Hermione Malfoy and the sound of reporters from all over Europe rushing to file the news that Lucius Malfoy had once more outwitted the British Ministry.