Misery and Grief

Harry didn't bring up anything he had learned until the next morning's breakfast, hesitant to damper what he could only assume was a newfound excitement and almost glee in the other boy. It was so weird to see Draco so easily happy. Actually, to see him happy at all. It felt wrong to try to ruin it. So the next morning and when Draco seemed fairly normal again, which Harry had to admit made him relieved, that he was able to so.

"As I'm sure you heard, your parents are looking for you." Draco dropped his spoon into his porridge, looking stricken. He did know that, of course, but he had banished it from his mind. "So it was that Dumbledore, who I assume was told by Snape, had to tell a few people - Hermione, Lupin, and Ron's parents - what happened." Green eyes raked over Draco delicately. The boy looked so upset. Was it fear? Humiliation? Harry decided to continue. "Ginny only doesn't tell where you live now because that means risking my life, which she'd also consider... losing... me..." It felt so odd to talk in a way that made himself out to look like some weird prize, especially with Draco looking at him like that. Why did Draco look so panicked, while he had to pretend to be calm? "But... she's very strong willed... So..." He left it open.

Draco was shaking, and Harry got up and moved closer to the boy, before something he wasn't expecting - though perhaps he should have been - happened. "I'll kill her!" The blonde was now standing up, leaning on and glaring at the table. "Damn hormonal weasel!"

"Hey..." Harry said, reaching out, he was shocked when his hand was slapped away. He just stood there, gazing at the boy, quite unaware if his own expression was showing his personal hurt or the pity he felt for Draco. "You know, everyone will protect you."

Silver eyes shot towards him. "No one will protect me, I'm 'Malfoy'." The green sunk in, those viridian eyes looked so sad that his anger almost washed away. Draco could feel himself melting under them, the pressure breaking him.

"And I'm Harry Potter." Harry didn't try to reach out this time, only looking at the boy. "Everyone knows that if you get caught while under my watch, I'll go after you." A sad smile crossed his face and his eyes looked slightly away. "And I think we both know that no matter if you stay here or not, if you get caught I'll go after you." He sighed.

Draco, back to his old ways somehow, wanted to spit. He didn't want to be saved - again - by the Golden Boy. That boy needed to stop being such a goody goody, needed to stop trying to save everyone. It only made it hurt more when he lost people. And Harry had certainly lost people. Silver gazed back at the shorter man, now only sad. Harry, too, looked pitiful and depressed.

It would be a lie if Draco said that no part of him wanted to comfort the other boy, to apologize. In fact, it almost hurt not to do so, but he was too angry; at Ginny Weasley, at his father, at the people that knew his situation, at himself. He however, for the first time in his life, could not think of any reason to be even irrationally angry at the man who stood with him.

That did not stop him.

"I don't need you to save me, Potter. I don't want to owe you any more than I already do." He sneered, mostly at himself. Why was he so incapable of telling the truth? Which was, quite simply, that his life or purity - if he had any left - wasn't worth Harry risking his own. He wanted to throw up, unused to both the raw emotion andstressed by the situation. He was lost in his thinking until the Boy Who Lived muttered something that barely caught his attention.

"That wouldn't stop me." Murcury met jade in a steady glare from both ends. "Even if you had a wand," which you do not, "even if I thought you could take on all the Death Eaters," which you couldn't possibly, "even if you could face your father," which no one could after what you've been through, "I wouldn't make you do it alone." I'm here for you.

Draco wondered why Harry had to be so damned honest, especially with his eyes. The brunette's words were sharp enough without being able to so clearly read between the lines, thank you very much. He could only hopelessly glare at the boy, the expression more habit then honesty.

And he felt so broken as he could feel his cold veneer crack, his shiny perfect gloss chip away. Something he had only used as manipulation, usually against the man before him in some way or another, came raging to the surface. That was his own self pity. Sinking into his chair, grabbing at his own hair, his emotional rollercoaster finally began. Certainly he had been emotional before, doing things he would never have before, but now everything came pouring down on him like a stream held by a dam for too long.

He had been raped. One of the rapists was his very own father. That very same father was looking for him. A spiteful woman wanted to hand him back to those hands that had so cruelly stolen from him what should have been cherished. This was all only made worse by his own and unclear relationship with his former enemy, or at least more confusing anyways. Even more was the fact that that man he had just possibly pushed away. Everything laid out before him, shattered, and he had no life experience in any of these situations to even start gluing anything back together.

Draco realized now just what Harry had distracted him from the night before. There was no stopping it now, however, as everything washed over him. He didn't think Harry could pull himself out of this one as he delved more into a self-centered mentality in a way even his Slytherin ego couldn't have imagined. There were no tears, no sounds; only pain and despair. Harry didn't even cross his mind, but if he had looked at the boy he would have seen those green eyes staring at him, a hand out hopelessly, confusion and sadness crossed across his own face.

For once in his life, Harry could see someone who had just as much inner turmoil as he did, as much reason to give up. If anything, maybe Draco's was worse. Afterall, Harry had lived his entire life in horrible conditions, Draco at least knew what it was like to have a good life, even if it made him cocky, and now almost instantaneously that had all be stolen from him and worse. Harry had never had parents, Draco's had betrayed him. How could he compare? Perhaps the worlds most evil wizard was not after Draco personally, but the next best thing was. And if Lucius Malfoy did catch up with him, he wasn't sure if more rape or death would be the fate of Draco, possibly both. Harry shuddered.

Draco would know all of this, so Harry felt he should watch the boy. Quite simply, the blonde would never trust him, and therefore couldn't be trusted with himself. He found himself kneeling beside the boy, fallen to the ground in frustration and distress. He wished he could apologize to Draco, to help him, to comfort him, and most of all to tell him everything was going to be alright. But quite honestly, what did Harry know about these things? People had made Harry feel better in his life, but had anyone ever really comforted him? Made him feel safe? The only person that he could think of was Molly Weasley and it was with a heavy heart and an unsure feeling that he left the room find Hedwig.

Harry could do a lot of things, but he couldn't do this. Not alone, and not with someone so precious as a test subject.

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A/N: Short chapter but that felt like the most appropriate place to end for the moment. Not to worry, next chapter will be up just as fast as I can type it.