Pains and Contradictions

Author\'s Notes: My apologies for not issuing a hanky warning for the last chapter. Will try to do better with that in the future. Many thanks go to Laurenke1 for a plot beta and to Torina Archelda- queen of grammar. I also seem to have picked up a canon beta. Thank you to the lovely White Cotton.



DarknessVasion-- Thank you for your excellent reviews. I have also read basically every Snarry ever written and wanted to do something of quality (as well as quantity) for the genre. When I showed your review to Torina she squeaked and rejoiced that we had "delurked a lurker." I enjoy a story that allows the situation to dictate where the characters will go, which is what I\'m attempting here. Thank you again.



Lucian-- I\'m very sorry to hear that and I hope you are doing well. Thank you for your review and I\'m pleased that you\'re enjoying the story.



Thank you so much to all the kind reviewers. Your words make my day.



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"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1





Snape watched as Harry slowly closed the door to his bedroom. The hour of companionable silence he\'d just shared with the young man was one of the oddest experiences of his life. Snape was well-used to awkward silences, and he had to admit to himself it had given him no small amount of joy to sit companionably with Harry when he was so relaxed, so calm. Being able to give Harry some much needed peace and quiet after all that had happened over the past four days was strangely satisfying. He could tell from the look on the young man\'s face how much he had appreciated just sitting by the fire soaking up the Potions Master\'s presence.



That Harry enjoyed his company was unbelievable, yet he could no longer deny the truth of it. If the only time Harry truly felt any sense of peace or sanity was when he was in Snape\'s presence, well, then who was Snape to deny him?



Allowing the brat in his bedroom was another thing altogether. Laying in his bed and seeing Harry hover so close to him had been far too similar to certain fantasies he\'d been working on keeping at bay. Thoughts of holding that beautiful face in his hands, watching Harry\'s eyes close and then finally meeting those full red lips in a kiss had gone through his mind briefly before a far more sinister fantasy slithered in. Thoughts of having Harry in this very bed, Snape\'s body covering his smaller one completely, nearly threatened to have him revealing his arousal in the worst way possible. Snape had looked away, mortified at his physical reaction to the young man hovering over him, and begun listing potions ingredients alphabetically until the problem went away. In his distraction Harry had managed to pull the covers up over him, bringing his impossibly green eyes and broad shoulders far too close for comfort, and Snape had banished him to the sitting room with a growl.



Snape\'s thoughts meandered over the exceptionally long day and all that had happened in the last few hours as he allowed his mind to drift off to sleep.



He awoke moments later to the sound of a gut-wrenching scream coming from just outside his door. He grabbed his wand and made a very passable attempt at sitting up in his bed before he recognized that the voice wasn\'t screaming in physical pain or alarm, but in grief and sadness.



It was Harry. And as the seconds ticked by, it became all too obvious to Snape that after four days of ignoring his grief, Harry had finally succumbed to his pain.



Snape quietly leaned back in his bed and rested his head on the pillow. Wide awake now, he listened as Harry went from issuing pain-filled screams of agony to muted whimpers. He lay there in the dark and continued to listen as Harry\'s weeping ceased and the young man in question fell into what was without a doubt, a very troubled sleep.



As much as he longed to comfort the young man, what could he do? How would he have made it to the sitting room, regardless? Snape had little experience in offering comfort to anyone and he was loathe to physically comfort Harry again. He may have been in an altered state the night he was cursed by Malfoy, but he distinctly remembered turning Harry\'s hand over in his own, caressing it as his was being caressed in some small attempt at comfort. The feeling of Harry\'s hand on his was still burned into his mind.



But he knew the pain Harry was currently experiencing. He knew all too well the agony of loss. He listened closely to try to catch any small cry that might come from his sitting room but heard none. Though he hated the thought of Harry suffering, he knew that this had been days in coming and he was ashamed to admit to himself that he was glad Harry felt safe enough to do so in his chambers.



Without thinking to throw up a silencing charm.



Snape rose an eyebrow at that, glad that Harry hadn\'t had the mind to spare him this. He was the only witness to Harry\'s grief and selfishly reveled in that.



Snape nestled his head in his pillow and imagined he could hear Harry\'s breathing even through his bedroom door.



*****************



Two young men were standing on the bank of a lake, both silhouetted by the setting sun just behind them. They were skipping rocks across the still waters and enjoying a companionable silence.



"Here try this one, it\'s smoother. Probably be a better shot for you," Ron said, handing Harry a smooth white stone.



Harry smiled and thanked his friend, taking the little rock in his hand. He pulled his arm back and threw it across the lake, watching with a great sense of satisfaction as it did indeed make little tremors where it skipped. He turned to Ron and put a hand on his shoulder, silently enjoying the presence of his friend and doing something so simple as skipping rocks across a pond.



Ron allowed Harry to loosely embrace him, moving only minutely as he threw his arm back to throw another stone. Harry dropped his hand and began to look for other rocks to continue their silent communion.



"So you\'re in the dungeons now?" Ron said as he bent over to pick up a black stone about the size of his thumbnail.



Harry sighed and smiled a bit and said, "Yeah. Although it is really nice, his place."



Ron threw the rock across the lake and watched as it skipped until it was out of Harry\'s eyeshot. He turned around to look for another and said, "But you\'ve moved down there, right? You\'re staying with him... Snape?"



Harry winced. Although Ron\'s tone was calm, he could sense the malicious nature of the question. "Yeah," was all he could say.



Ron nodded and bent down to dig in the earth a bit before finding a stone, a pale brown one this time. The little rock had a bit of lichen on it and the green had gotten under Ron\'s fingernails, dirtying his hand. "That must be cozy... crashing on Snape\'s sofa." Harry watched as Ron threw the rock with perfect precision. "You don\'t actually think he\'s going to keep you, do you?"



Harry snapped his head towards Ron and frowned. "What do you mean, keep me?"



Ron turned to Harry for the first time, wiping his arm across his forehead at the bit of sweat that had accumulated in the heat of the setting sun. "He\'s only keeping you around because he needs you. You think you\'re going to be welcome in his home after he\'s better?"



Harry frown grew as he fought to defend the man who had helped him so much. "Well, things have changed, Ron.... It\'s almost like we\'re... friends of a sort. I mean, really, he\'s a good man."



Ron nodded thoughtfully. "So you keep saying. You have an awful lot of faith in the man who tried to throw you out of his rooms when you were only trying to help. What\'s going to happen to you when your new best friend throws you out of his life?"



"My new best friend...?"



"Because he is going to toss you, you know. And then where will you be?"



Harry shook his head, trying to understand what Ron was saying. "Look, first of all, you\'re my best friend. You\'ll always be my best friend."



Ron looked down and said, "Yeah, well, I\'m dead now, Harry. It\'s not as if I\'m going to be following you on any of your adventures or buddying up with you in potions. So how\'s it going to be when my replacement throws you out without so much as \'thanks, Potter\'?"



Harry ran a hand through his hair as he tried to fight both the indignation he felt on Snape\'s behalf and the fear that his best friend was right. "He wouldn\'t do that..."



"How do you know? Do you really know him any better than you did two days ago?"



"Yeah, I think so--"



"You don\'t. And this weird faith that you have in the giant bat is just sick, Harry. He\'s going to let you take care of him and then toss you out the second he doesn\'t need you anymore."



Harry grew angry at Ron in a way he hadn\'t since their fourth year. His hands curled into fists as he struggled not to tell his friend to shut his mouth. "He wouldn\'t do that! You don\'t know him!" Harry paced back and forth along the bank of the lake, his feet making sloshing sounds as they harshly impacted the wet earth. "He\'s not letting me stay to help him. He\'s only letting me stay because I need him. Because I miss you so much, you bloody prat!"



For once, it was Harry\'s face that was red in anger and Ron that stood calmly before him. "I know you do, Harry. But that\'s just going to make it worse when all this comes crashing down on you."



Harry glared at Ron with fury, trying very hard not to allow the angry unshed tears in his eyes to fall. He wiped his face and tried to think of a way to convince Ron that Snape would not abandon him but could think of nothing. There was silence between them for a moment before a loud noise somewhere in the distance caught Harry\'s attention. Confused green eyes met blue as Ron shrugged and said, "I think your new best friend may need a little rescuing, Harry."



Harry shot up to a sitting position as he woke suddenly to a very dark, cold room with an enormous headache. He sat up on the couch, his head in his hands. That was the second dream he\'d had of Ron talking to him now. At least this one wasn\'t quite as bad as the last, he thought, trying to calm his breathing and the throbbing in his head. Moving slowly, trying very hard not to allow his brains to come exploding out of his ears, he realized the sound he had thought was the pounding in his head was actually coming from Snape\'s bedroom.



Harry stood up immediately and just as quickly regretted the sharp movement as his head began to pound even worse than before. The fire in the hearth was slowly dying and he could barely make out Snape\'s door in the dark. He cast incendio and watched as the flames cast light over the room so Harry could make his way to see what that awful noise had been.



Harry opened the door to Snape\'s bedroom with no small sense of trepidation. He might be staying in the man\'s quarters but that did not give him carte blanche to just come and go as he pleased. He walked slowly, trying to make his steps as quiet as possible when he heard a loud thunk again and quickly paced the short distance to the bathroom to the left of Snape\'s bed.



Just as he put his hand on the knob the thing began to twist in his hand and he stepped away, fully expecting some dungeon hell-beast to exit. As he had yesterday, Harry peered through the fog that exited the bathroom to see Snape, this time in black nightclothes and slippers, bracing himself on the bathroom sink. He seemed almost glad to see Harry and he quickly went and grabbed Snape\'s waist, feeling the cotton of his nightclothes as he helped the man back to bed.



"The curse must have affected my memory, Potter as I have no recollection of giving you permission to enter my bedroom unannounced at any point yesterday," Snape sneered, only a bit out of breath.



"Yeah, well I couldn\'t really ignore that awful sound now, could I? What happened to you?" Harry could barely see the Potions Master as the fire in his bedroom hearth was dwindling down to nothing as well. Harry again cast incendio and turned to see Snape sitting on the bed.



He frowned as he saw a bruise that was beginning to turn purple on Snape\'s left cheek. Giving the man a visual once over, he couldn\'t see any other wounds but also realized that the man was completely covered except for his face and hands.



Harry returned his gaze to the Potions Master\'s eyes and saw the man giving him a curious look as well. Snape seemed to be analyzing him, looking first over his face and then straight in the eye. Harry met his gaze dead on, not knowing what man was looking for.



"Are you alright now, Potter?"



Harry frowned and opened his mouth to ask Snape what he was talking about but the man beat him to it.



"You haven\'t looked at yourself in the mirror yet, have you?"



Still not understanding Snape, Harry walked the few steps to the man\'s bathroom and looked in the small mirror above the sink.



His face was completely red and his eyes were puffed up horribly. His hair was in even more disarray than it usually was and although Harry headache was now fading, he could agree that he looked a right mess.



"Oh," Harry said, rather anticlimactically. "Well... after you went to bed..."



"Really, Potter," Snape said rather harshly from the bed, "how many times must I repeat myself?" Snape paused and waited until Harry was looking at him. "He was your best friend. You have every right to mourn him."



Harry nodded and said nothing. In truth, he felt better today than he had since the day Ron had died. There had been something very cathartic about allowing himself to weep on Snape\'s sitting room couch, with the man right on the other side of the door...



"Oh," Harry said, finally understanding. "Oh! Oh god, Snape, I\'m sorry. I didn\'t...." Harry stuttered as his face grew impossibly red in his embarrassment. "I didn\'t even think to throw up a silencing charm last night... Gods, I\'m sorry."



Snape put up his hand in an attempt to silence the sputtering younger man. "There are worse things in this world than hearing such grief, Potter."



"Gods, what you must think of me, crying like some girl," Harry continued, not hearing Snape\'s protests.



"Potter..."



"I think I screamed my throat raw... Not even when Sirius died did I...."



"Enough, Potter!" Snape snapped at him putting up a slightly shaky hand to visibly still the younger man. "If you would recall our discussion last night, I believe you are currently present in my bedroom not for my own sake, but your own. I had assumed that allowing a grieving young man into my rooms would mean that said young man would indeed be grieving. You have nothing to apologize for, so cease your rambling at once."



Still disturbed at the scene he must have made last night, Harry took in the Potions Master\'s words in disbelief. He\'d been so glad when Snape had allowed him to stay, but he honestly hadn\'t expected Snape to be so accommodating. Snape had seemed exhausted when he went to bed last night. How long had he stayed up listening to Harry\'s crying? Harry knew he had screamed bloody murder in his pain and his anger over Ron\'s death. Why had the man allowed him to do so? Why hadn\'t he cast his own silencing charm?



"Why didn\'t you do something? Why didn\'t you tell me to stop?" Harry asked Snape, a look of bewilderment in his eyes. "I mean, I would have.... or, at least thrown up a silencing charm. I mean, really, you could have just yelled at me. Why didn\'t you yell at me?"



Snape said nothing and continued to meet Harry\'s stare. Harry searched Snape\'s face for some sign of what his silence meant but could find none. He continued staring into those deep, dark pools, and somewhere in those black eyes, Harry finally got the message. As it had last night, a silent understanding came between them, and Harry closed his eyes and turned his head away for a moment, amazed at the immense affection and kinship at Snape\'s unspoken words.



Harry opened his eyes but did not face Snape. "Oh."



"Your verbal prowess continues to astound me, Potter," Snape said in a much kinder voice than the words he spoke. "I assume you\'ve not had breakfast yet?"



Harry shook his head and turned to address the Potions Master. "No, I\'ll just go get something from the kitchen and bring it back."



Snape started to rise slightly on his bed. "No need; we can have breakfast in my sitting room. It\'s not my usual habit to spend my summers at Hogwarts but I assume the house elves are still in employ and can deliver a simple enough meal."



"Right. Can I use your--" Harry gestured towards the bathroom. Snape nodded.



When Harry returned it was to see Snape sitting up straight, slightly leaning on the headboard of his bed. He seemed to be breathing a bit heavier than before Harry had left him.



"You know if Madame Pomfrey sees you breathing like that with that bruise on your face she\'ll only make you go back to the infirmary."



"She can try. Meddlesome woman."



"That meddlesome woman almost put you in your place yesterday." Harry smiled and said, "Besides if she shows up with you looking like that she\'ll probably think I left you to drown in the tub or something and you had to crawl your way out."



Snape glared at Harry and snarled, "I do not crawl, Potter. If pressed, I can cast a levitation charm and transport myself that way, otherwise walking is my usual method of travel."



Harry laughed and wrapped his arm around Snape\'s side as he had been doing for the past day. Snape was warm from laying in bed and Harry found himself holding Snape just a bit tighter than he usually did.



If Snape noticed, he didn\'t say anything.



"Why are we having breakfast in your sitting room when we could just have it in here? It\'d be easier for you-"



Snape growled, "What is easy is not always for the best. I have to begin regaining my former strength; I\'ll not lay in bed a moment longer than necessary and it is my hope that by the end of the week I will be able to return to my laboratory."



Harry helped Snape to stand and allowed the man to lean on him as he took small steps towards his sitting room and then to the straight backed chair by the sofa.



Snape plopped down with none of his usual grace and glared at Harry, almost daring him to say a word. Harry shrugged and sat on the sofa near Snape.



"I need breakfast for two, please," Snape said into midair. Harry was about to question this before a small table, just big enough for two, popped into existence between them. There were two bowels of oatmeal, a plate of toast and a pot of tea sitting on it.



Harry glanced down down at his bowl in disgust, watching Snape pick up his spoon and put his napkin in his lap out of the corner of his eye. He almost managed to wipe the revulsion from his face before Snape noticed, but not quite.



"You dislike oatmeal, Potter?"



Harry looked up from his meal and forced himself to wipe the look off his face. "Er... no, I just really don\'t like raisins."



Harry watched as Snape frowned and looked down at his own bowl, apparently not even noticing the little bastards had been there at all.



The Potions Master spooned some oatmeal into his mouth, taking a bite. "Raisins?" the professor asked, as though Harry had just said something that made Snape question his sanity.



"Yeah, I mean just look at them... just... ugh," Harry said, emptying his bowl of every raisin he could find and placing them on his napkin.



"Is there any particular reason you\'re looking on what are essentially dried grapes with such disdain?"



"Well, yeah, how can you like them? They\'re all shriveled up and dead looking. It\'s not natural. I mean, if you want to have grapes in your breakfast, have grapes in your breakfast. No need to shrivel them up and have little dead things looking you in the face in the morning."



Snape looked at Harry as though he had completely lost his mind but continued to say nothing as the young man dished out raisins onto his napkin.



"Why does my oatmeal have to be littered with the corpses of dead grapes? Really, whoever came up with them in the first place..." Harry stopped when he realized Snape had been quiet for some time.



He looked up and met the amused eyes of the Potions Master, looking for all the world like he wanted to grin but was holding it back on pain of death. Harry felt his face break into an all out smile.



"Is there any other breakfast food that is insulting to your person or may we eat our breakfast in peace?"



Harry laughed and said, "No, I think I\'ve got them all. Here, if you like them so much you take them." And with that Harry began spooning his discarded raisins in Snape\'s bowl.



Snape watched Harry shovel food onto his plate in complete shock until suddenly he grabbed Harry\'s hand with much more force than Harry would have thought he possessed.



Harry immediately dropped his spoon on the table and tensed as Snape turned his hand over, palm down, and ran a finger over the space between his thumb and forefinger.



I must not tell lies.



Snape held Harry\'s hand firmly but softly, as though he were afraid he\'d somehow open up the old wound if he handled it too roughly.



"Dolores Umbridge?" Snape sneered with all his usual vitriol. Harry nodded, though he noted that Snape was making a statement more than asking a question. "That vengeful--"



Harry tried to snatch his hand away from the man but failed. He had no doubt he could rip his hand away from Snape\'s grasp but was unsure how to do so without hurting the man. After a moment, he gave up trying to gently pull his hand away and allowed the man to look his fill. He sighed and said, "I\'d always kind of wondered if you knew about that. I doubted anything got past you."



Snape\'s upper lip had curled up enough to actually reveal his teeth, his eyes blazing. "I\'m surprised I didn\'t notice it before, especially while in the infirmary." Harry looked again at the thin white scar and realized that it was actually quite small and light, very easy to miss on casual inspection. "I heard rumors but when no students came forward..." The grip he had on Harry\'s hand was far stronger than Harry would have thought possible. Snape had his black eyes focused on the thin white scar, running his thumb over it again and again, just as he had the other night in the infirmary.



Though the situation was extremely uncomfortable, Harry couldn\'t help but notice that the anger shown on Snape\'s face was, for once, not directed at him. He was upset with the words carved into Harry\'s hand. As he had that night, the Potions Master ran a potions-stained thumb over it, touching it with a tenderness Harry had never known.



"Why didn\'t you inform your head of house that this... barbarism had occurred?"



Harry shrugged. "She had her own problems to deal with at the time and... Well, honestly, what could she have done?" Harry\'s hand was beginning to grow warm in Snape\'s. The man didn\'t seem to realize he was still holding it. Harry\'s arm was stretched awkwardly over their bowls, and Snape\'s damp hair framed his face as the man kept his eyes on the scar.



Snape sneered and said, "She would have done something about this."



Harry scoffed and said, "Yeah, of course, she would have tried. But, Merlin, Snape even you were on probation near the end there..."



Snape looked up into Harry\'s eyes and took in the scene at the table-- Harry\'s arm outstretched and his hand in Snape\'s.



Snape released his hand so suddenly Harry almost dropped it in Snape\'s oatmeal. Harry\'s hand felt suddenly cold as he pulled it back across the table.



Snape sneered again and said, "I did not know that had happened. If I had, I would have done something about it. There\'s a reason we don\'t use blood quills as punishment-- the idea that students can be punished through pain is appalling."



Snape\'s voice rose throughout his short tirade and his hand, now devoid of anything firm to hold onto, was again shaking.



Harry said nothing and resumed spooning his raisins into Snape\'s oatmeal. He half watched as Snape put his hand over his eyes and took a deep breath, calming himself. When he lowered his hand it was to find Harry putting the last of the raisins in his bowl.



"Would you please cease contaminating my breakfast, Potter? If your dislike for raisins is so great you can always give them to your bird for lunch. There\'s no need to go putting them into mine."



Harry laughed and said, "But look, I put them in a snake pattern. You know, add a bit of character to your oatmeal."



Snape looked down and quirked up an eyebrow, as he saw that Harry had indeed made a snake out of the dried grapes. "Yes, you can never have enough personality in your breakfast."



Harry laughed and finally began to eat.



Snape picked up his spoon again as well. "Excellent, Potter. My breakfast now looks as if it is suffering from the plague." Snape shot a glare across the table at Harry but continued to eat his breakfast.



There were a few moments of silence before Harry noticed that the Potions Master did not seem entirely comfortable. Having nothing much to talk about and thinking Snape would rather die than engage in small talk, Harry remained quiet and waited for the professor to speak.



"Did you sleep well on my sofa, Potter?" Snape\'s question was benign, albiet a bit uncertain, but the memories of the dream Harry had had only a few minutes ago brought up an awful feeling. Harry felt extremely awkward sitting across from Snape as Ron\'s words came back to him.



"Why do you ask?"



"Ah," Snape said in an amused tone. "So it is as I thought. It\'s called manners, Potter. I assume you\'ve at least heard of the concept?"



Harry rolled his eyes and snorted. "Oh, that. Yeah..." He brought a hand through his hair and began fidgeting. He really didn\'t want to tell Snape not to ask him that question, but he also didn\'t want to tell him about the dream. The fear of losing the tentative friendship he was enjoying with the man was still all too real.



"I, um... well... Ron was there, but I don\'t really..."



"If you\'d rather not discuss it, you are free to say so, Potter." Snape looked up at him and met his eyes across the table. With the dream on the forefront of his mind now, Harry began playing with his oatmeal, taking small bites of his toast and feeling very uncomfortable.



Harry saw Snape studying him again and tried to eat a bit more. Finally, when the silence had stretched on for what felt like an eternity to Harry but was in reality two minutes at most, Snape cleared his throat.



"I had a very odd dream last night. Two of them, actually."



Harry breathed a sigh of relief. "What did you dream, Professor?"



Snape raised an eyebrow and remained silent.



Harry laughed nervously and put down his spoon. "Come on, Snape. I\'ll be polite." He smiled sadly and said, "Please?"



Snape was still looking at him with amused disbelief clearly written on his face but he wiped his mouth with his napkin and said, "Alright."



The man sat back and rested his arms on the chair. "I had two dreams. The first one was short. My father was still alive and he had asked me to visit him in his home. He gave me something. It was wrapped, I have no idea what it was. As I left the house and walked into the small city near it, I realized I\'d lost it."



Snape frowned as he saw that Harry was sitting quietly listening to him, not eating his breakfast. Harry immediately picked up a spoonful of oatmeal and put it into his mouth. Once he had swallowed, he asked, "And the second dream?"



Snape sighed and leaned even further back in his chair. "My father and the headmaster were with me on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. My father asked me to go with him to this camp that he had made where we\'d be safe from all the beasts that inhabit the place. I looked at the headmaster but he said nothing. He simply looked and me and started walking into the forrest; into all the shadow and dark.



"And I turned and looked at my father then followed the headmaster. But as I was walking, I would look back from time to time and I noticed that my father had started a fire. And the farther along I traveled with the headmaster, the less I could see the fire my father had started. But I kept on with Dumbledore and it became colder and darker until finally I looked up and could no longer see the stars through the trees or the fire my father had built." There was a pregnant pause that stretched for an eternity for Harry before Snape said, "And then I woke."



Harry sat there, spoon in his hand halfway to his mouth completely unable to form a coherent response to what Snape had just told him. The only thing he knew about Snape\'s father had been gathered from the rather unpleasant memories he\'d see in Snape\'s mind in his Occlumency lessons. He sat there in his seat, feeling very much like a child, and started stirring his oatmeal.



Snape scoffed. "It\'s hardly a mystery, Potter, nor does it need to be overanalyzed." Snape looked highly amused as he told Harry, "My father was a muggle but he kept himself informed, at least somewhat, of what was going on in the wizarding world. When he learned of my beliefs and my intentions to join the Dark Lord, he tried to dissuade me from becoming a Death Eater."



Harry frowned at that. Although he highly doubted Snape\'s father had been evil, he had hardly seemed \'good\' in the memories he\'d seen in Snape\'s head. His expression must have been plain on his face because Snape looked at him and growled, "Is there any particular reason you find that so hard to believe, Potter?"



Harry flinched as he realized he\'d upset the man and unwittingly insulted his father. Not exactly knowing how to calm the situation, he said, "Well, um... those times in our lessons... Whenever I saw your father, he, well... wasn\'t exactly being kind."



Snape raised an eyebrow at Harry\'s words yet again and with a voice of pure annoyance said, "And because my father yelled and screamed at my mother and I he automatically would have encouraged me to join a dark wizard at the tender age of eighteen?"



Well, if you looked at it that way, Harry thought, it did seem a bit unlikely. Before he could put his foot in his mouth again, Snape continued to berate him.



"Don\'t misunderstand me, Potter. Had my father been aware of the Order\'s existence, I highly doubt he would have encouraged me to take up arms and fight the good fight." This last was said snidely and Snape\'s long-fingered hand waved through the air as he displayed just what he thought of that idea. "My father was a passive lay-about who didn\'t believe in getting involved in anything that didn\'t revolve around a mortgage payment or a bottle of whiskey. His placement in my dream only represented my own desire to rest, which is something I cannot do."



Harry put his spoon down in his bowl, no longer capable of feigning hunger. "Except for this coming month or so. You could, you know." Harry looked at the man whose face was twisting in anger, and said with great hesitation, "If you wanted to. How long has it been since you\'ve really rested?"



Snape sneered and growled at Harry, "You can rest all you\'d like, Potter, but I, unfortunately, do not have that luxury. If you\'ll recall our conversation yesterday you can simply apply it to whatever foolish argument you\'re cooking up in that overtaxed brain of yours."



Sighing, Harry recalled every word that had come out of Snape\'s mouth last night on the floor by the sofa. It seemed Harry\'s forgiveness meant little to the man, much to Harry\'s chagrin. He wished that the Potions Master would take what Harry freely gave him but the man seemed hell-bent on blaming himself for every bad thing that had happened since the first war ended. Not wanting to repeat that argument, Harry sighed and said, "I didn\'t mean anything bad about your father. I just... say stupid things sometimes. Ignore me, really."



Snape gave a dark chuckle and nodded. "I assure you, Potter, I do. The number of inane statements that come out of your mouth is staggering at times."



Harry smiled, conceding the point, and watched Snape finish his breakfast in a companionable silence.



**************



Harry swore as he struggled to grab Snape before his stumbling could send him falling to the ground. Harry knew he should have told the man to stop on the fifth time around the sofa, but Snape had been insistent that he make one more revolution around the room than he had yesterday.



"Shit." Harry swore again and gave up the battle, turning his body completely towards the other man, wrapping both arms around his very thin waist, and firmly embracing his professor. Snape\'s face was now inches away from his and his large nose bumped against Harry\'s forehead. Harry could feel hot breath on his face and ears as he held Snape\'s body to his own. Though the situation was awkward in the extreme, Harry couldn\'t help but think how wonderful it felt to finally embrace the man currently in his arms.



"Unhand me, Potter!" Snape bellowed, before Harry had a chance to think upon the strangeness of this thought, somehow appearing completely dignified though he was currently being held up like a rag doll. A deceptively heavy rag doll.



"How the bloody hell can you weigh so much when you\'re so bloody thin?" Harry continued to swear as he tried and failed to grab his wand from his pocket, hearing the thing fall on the floor then roll under the sofa.



Harry gave up trying to solve this problem using magic and began to half drag, half carry the man around the sitting room to the sofa.



"Potter, you\'re being utterly ridiculous and I demand you put me down at once!" Snape said as he weakly attempted to push Harry\'s arms off of him.



Harry stopped halfway to the sofa, panting a bit in exertion. "Okay, fine. If you can actually push me away, I\'ll put you down on the floor here and let you levitate yourself to the sofa. I\'m not going to drop you, though. Madame Pomfrey read me the riot act for letting you bruise yourself all over that first day."



Snape brought his hands up to Harry\'s and failed miserably to apply any pressure at all. The Potions Master sighed and let his arms drop to a dead weight.



"Whoa," Harry said, as suddenly he felt all 200 pounds or so of Snape grow heavier instantly. He struggled to not allow the man to fall from his arms to the floor and a hand moved down to grab Snape\'s arse to try and balance the man out.



Harry heard an audible gasp and felt the intake of breath near his ear, as Snape\'s face was so near to his own. The man went completely still for a moment and Harry tried desperately to free his arm so as to remove both of them from this embarrassing situation.



Snape must have rallied because he softly muttered in Harry\'s ear, "I suggest you remove your hand from my arse immediately, Potter before I blast your own to oblivion."



"I\'m trying, really," Harry said, finally feeling comfortable to let go of the man\'s bottom and grab him from the waist yet again. A few panted breaths later, Harry led them over the short distance to the sofa and plopped the man down in the center cushion, taking the seat on Snape\'s left.



Both men were panting and took a few moments to catch their breath as they stared into the fire.



Harry broke the silence first. "I know you want to do a little more every day, Snape, but you\'re pushing yourself too hard. You could have fallen and then where would we be?"



Snape turned to Harry and the younger man saw his head immediately snap back, as though Snape did not realize Harry was sitting only inches away from him.



"My recovery is exactly that, Potter- my own. As long as Poppy continues to declare my growing health in her daily visits, I\'ll continue to do what I think is best." Snape sank further into the couch cushions and said, "I\'ll remind you that you do not have to remain here. The headmaster did indeed inform you that he could have rooms made for you on a moment\'s notice."



Harry blanched and stiffened at the Potions Master\'s harsh words. The past few days with the man had been good- surprisingly good. Meal times were full of conversation and the days were spent reading books from Snape\'s shelves or sitting in companionable silence. And silence, Harry felt, was exactly what he needed right now. Here in the Potions Master\'s room he felt the freedom to be himself; to simply be Harry. When he felt the need to be alone he reveled in the fact that he felt comfortable in the Potions Master\'s company, not as though he had to act a certain way or needed to do anything.



Not to mention that the idea of leaving Snape left Harry feeling no small sense of trepidation. After a year of guilty suffering he was finally beginning to feel the heavy burden he had placed on himself lifting. Being in the presence of the only man who knew what Harry had gone through helped more than he could have hoped. He hated to admit it but he was beginning to rely on the man\'s friendship.



Realizing he had been silent a moment too long, Harry turned to Snape and said plainly, "Yeah, I know. But I\'m not here for you, remember?"



Snape leaned further back into the cushions, distancing himself from Harry, and nodded. Harry broke his gaze and looked down to see their hands lying closely together on the sofa. Harry noticed that Snape\'s hands had been shaking less in the past few days, but the improvement wasn\'t nearly good enough for handling delicate ingredients, and the man could still barely walk besides. Harry couldn\'t help but absentmindedly wonder whether or not Snape would even be capable of returning to his lab in a week. The Potions Master\'s expectations of being able to brew again after only seven days recovering in his chambers was highly unlikely in Harry\'s opinion.



He looked at Snape\'s long-fingered hand, so close to his own, and ran his fingers over it. He looked up when he felt Snape flinch against the feather light touch. "Did I hurt you?" he asked.



Snape\'s face was straight and completely devoid of all emotion but his eyes were blaring something Harry couldn\'t identify. Harry continued to look at the man until Snape shook his head and said, "No, you did not."



Harry frowned and was about to ask why Snape had flinched when the man broke his stare and asked, "What will you be doing this evening, Potter? It\'s been days and you\'ve yet to leave the dungeons. Have you not grown tired of wearing the same clothing for over a week?"



Harry looked down at his oversized shirt and blue jeans that he had been wearing in addition to Remus\' adjusted clothes for the past few days now. The house elves would wash the outfits on the days he didn\'t wear them but he had to admit he wondered when and if Dumbledore would deliver his trunk.



Harry shrugged. "I\'m almost afraid to go and ask the headmaster if he can get my trunk from my relatives for me. I\'m half afraid he won\'t let me come back down here if I leave."



Snape looked at Harry, a pensive look on his face. He looked at him intently and said softly, "I would not worry so much, Potter. If the headmaster wanted you elsewhere he would have made it so by now." Snape looked away to the fire again, "Or at least given you one hell of a fight."



Harry laughed, nodding, and recalled the last discussion he\'d had with the headmaster, when the man had been intent on keeping Snape in the dark in regard to Malfoy\'s plans. No, Harry thought, he doubted either one of them wanted to engage in another fight like that.



Remembering the reason why he was down in the dungeons in the first place, he looked at the man next to him and was silently grateful he was allowing Harry to stay with him. Harry doubted he would get a moment\'s peace if he had to worry about Malfoy getting his filthy hands on Snape while his back was turned.



Although he did not want to leave the Potions Master for long, he had been in the dungeons for several days now and wanted to see how Remus was doing. Harry stood up and said, "Um... do you mind, though, if I leave for a little while? Not for long," Harry put up a hand to stall an argument from Snape that was not forthcoming. "I just... want to check on Remus. It\'s been a couple of days since the full moon and I want to see him."



Snape took his time in answering and looked at Harry, saying slowly, "I don\'t think that\'s a very wise idea, Potter."



Harry frowned. He felt guilty enough as it was leaving Remus alone for so long. He knew his friend had to suffer the full moon alone but that didn\'t mean he had to suffer the days he spent recovering as well.



"But why? Full moon\'s past and it\'s got to be hell on Remus. Why shouldn\'t I visit him?"



Snape leaned back in the sofa and seemed to think carefully about his next choice of words. "How much do you actually know about lycanthropy, Potter? You know of the pain that Lupin goes through on the full moon, do you not?"



Harry nodded. He remembered all too well the days the man had missed in his third year and how sickly he had seemed after. It was all the more reason for him to go see his friend now.



"Tell me- what was it like being in Lupin\'s skin, feeling what he felt?"



Harry turned away from Snape and said softly, "It was awful pain. It wasn\'t anything like I\'d ever felt before. It was constant and it was burning and it was everywhere. No one should have to feel pain like that."



Snape nodded. "I can imagine. Now you realize that you were feeling that pain weeks after his transformation on the full moon. How do you think Lupin is feeling right now?"



Harry turned to Snape and considered his question. His silence was the best answer he could come up with.



"Precisely. I imagine any additional rest he can possibly get would only be to his benefit."



Harry sat on the sofa next to Snape and thought about his friend suffering somewhere above him. When he looked down he saw Snape\'s hand was still twitching and failed to quell the instinct telling him to grab it. He slowly slid his hand over the Potions Master\'s, cupping it in his own.



The hand immediately stilled, as did the man attached to it.



"Exactly what do you think you\'re doing, Potter?"



Harry frowned and looked up at Snape, not truly understanding the question.



"Your hand was shaking," Harry said, pointing out the obvious. "And now it\'s not."



Snape looked down at their entwined hands. Harry waited with bated breath as he saw several emotions cross Snape\'s face; unfortunately, Harry couldn\'t identify any of them.



In the end Snape sighed and looked down again at their joined hands, and adjusted Harry\'s grip slightly, running his thumb over Harry\'s scar.



**************



Snape\'s ordinary teaching robes were much rougher than the formal robes that Remus had worn to the funeral, Harry thought, keeping his hand on Snape\'s back as the man crossed the sitting room to the wall on the far right.



"Okay, if we\'re going to your lab shouldn\'t we be heading towards the front door and not a wall?"



Snape scoffed. "You\'ve been living in the wizarding world for how long, Potter? Things aren\'t always as they seem." Snape took slower steps than he had in the past few days as he was wearing heavy boots and not his black house slippers. He seemed to be walking well enough on his own but Harry kept very close just in case.



Finally reaching the wall, Snape took out his wand and tapped the bricks three times before a wooden door with an iron knob appeared. Snape grabbed the knob but couldn\'t twist it open. Before the man\'s dignity could be injured more, Harry put his hand on the Potions Master\'s and pulled the door open for him.



For some reason he couldn\'t fathom, Harry left his hand on Snape\'s for an extra moment after the door was already open. The man had been recovering quickly and no longer needed to lean on Harry as much as he did in the beginning. Harry hated to admit to himself that he missed their physical contact. He lightly brushed his fingers over Snape\'s and enjoyed the feeling of Snape\'s hand under his own. It was beyond obvious to both of them that Harry enjoyed touching Snape, but he didn\'t entirely understand why. It was more than comfort now, Harry thought. Snape\'s presence alone helped him to deal with his lingering grief. But that didn\'t explain why Harry\'s eyes lingered on Snape\'s hands at every meal or why he missed feeling the man\'s body leaning on his. It was Snape who finally removed Harry\'s hand, cleared his throat and walked through the door with Harry on his heels.



Harry followed Snape through the door, and found himself in the Potions Master\'s office. He looked to the left and saw another door he recalled seeing during Occlumency lessons. "And this door leads to your private labs?"



Snape scoffed then muttered something under his breath to allow Harry to open the door. "Nothing gets past you, does it, Potter?" Fortunately for Harry, Snape was facing away from him as his eyes rolled. "Yes, this is my private lab. I keep the rare and higher quality ingredients here rather than in the school\'s stores... where just anyone could come in and take things."



Harry raised a hand in his defense at the blatant accusation. "I actually never took a thing from your stores, ever." Seeing the look of blatant distrust on Snape\'s face, Harry scoffed and earnest added, "Really."



Snape lifted an eyebrow and said, "Oh? Well never mind then, you\'ve convinced me of your innocence. How could I not believe you after such a grand defense..."



Harry grinned as he helped the man to enter the room and sit in a desk near the door. "Fine, don\'t believe me. But I haven\'t taken a thing from your stores in my life."



Harry kept his hand on the warmth of Snape\'s back as he walked over to a low sitting desk with a chair and moved to sit down. Harry moved the hand that had been on Snape\'s back to settle around his waist as he knew that the walk had probably been a bit much for Snape and the chair he was aiming to sit in hardly looked comfortable enough to plop down on.



Snape scowled at him but said nothing. He opened a drawer at the table he was sitting at and took out a quill, parchment and ink. His hand shook only slightly as he began to write and Harry turned away from him to take in the room.



It was brightly lit for being in the dungeons. There were three long tables set up in the room and sinks on all sides. On the wall directly in front of the door they had come through was the storeroom Snape had spoken of. Along the walls hung cauldrons of all sizes.



"Here," Snape said, causing Harry to turn around and accept the piece of parchment that was thrust into his hands. "I need you to retrieve these ingredients from the storeroom for me." Snape pointed to the room Harry had noticed. "I sincerely hope you\'re a better at potions during the summer than you are during the year, Potter. You\'re going to be put to the test today."



Harry smiled and took that as a personal challenge. He thought he might be able to do better than he usually did during the year. The Potions Master had let up on him slightly in the past year due to the obvious change in his behavior but that still didn\'t stop Malfoy from flinging things into his cauldron nor did it mean that Snape had been a better teacher.



Harry went off to the store room as he heard Snape softly call out, "Accio silver-lined medium size caldron, accio silver-lined small size caldron." He was still summoning things when Harry entered the small storeroom where he could no longer hear him.



When he returned, his arms full of bottles, Harry saw Snape had moved to one of the larger tables and had two small fires burning under the cauldrons he had summoned. He carefully put down the ingredients and put his hands in his pockets and tried to stay out of Snape\'s way, unwilling to make a nuisance of himself while the man prepared the base.



Pushing forward the belladonna, dried nettles, stewed horned slugs and porcupine quills, Snape said, "These all need to be very finely diced." As Harry picked up one of the knives laying on the table, Snape held up a hand and said, "Diced, Potter. Not chopped, not sliced, but diced. This will be all for naught if not done correctly."



Harry nodded and tried his absolute best to dice all the ingredients perfectly. The base of whatever potion they were making must have been simple to make because Snape was peering into the two cauldrons to check their consistency.



Once Harry had finished dicing everything to perfection, Snape nodded and gave clear and concise directions in how to add them. The Potions Master used his wand to move the stirring rod clockwise, then counter clock wise as Harry added the quills to the base, then the belladonna, and nettles. The slugs went into the smaller cauldron, stewing alone and giving off a putrid odor.



Snape nodded and sat back in his chair, suddenly appearing exhausted. Harry looked at him, concerned. "Are you all right, Snape?"



Snape nodded and put a hand on his forehead. "Yes, Potter, I\'m fine. I didn\'t expect this to be easy but neither did I think it would be this difficult."



Harry silently agreed.



Snape looked up from behind his hand. "Tell me, Potter... Why do you appear to be a decent student now rather than the clumsy idiot you appear to be during the year?"



Harry frowned. If Snape hadn\'t figured that out already then there was no helping him. He scoffed and said, "Look, I know I\'m not great at this. I never will be, but I\'m not awful at it either. When you weren\'t constantly breathing down my neck this year, didn\'t my grades improve a little?"



"There was a small improvement but nothing to be overly proud of. You merely ceased to be awful and became mediocre."



Harry\'s frowned deepened, "Well, to answer your question- first of all, I don\'t have Malfoy throwing things in my cauldron right now so I don\'t have to stir and shield at the same time. Also, in addition to your not constantly berating me, you actually explained the proper way of doing things. You don\'t usually do that, you know."



"Are you disparaging my ability to teach my students?" Snape glared.



Green eyes met black and Harry only paused for a moment before answering, "A bit, yeah."



Snape growled and leaned forward. "Just because I do not pamper my students does not mean I am not an adequate educator."



"Pamper? More like treat decently. Do you remember my first day of class? You had it out for me from the beginning!"



Snape sneered, but did not seem angry. "Yes, perhaps I did. What of it, Potter?" Snape almost seemed to be challenging Harry with his eyes.



Harry sighed, refusing to allow his anger over this to destroy the tentative friendship he was enjoying with the Potions Master. Harry needed to explain to the man how wrong he had been in his opinion of him. Now that the issue was on the table, Harry felt it needed to finally be addressed. He might never have the chance to talk about this with Snape again and he wanted it all out in the open. He felt an urgent need for the Potions Master to understand him as much as possible. More than anyone, he wanted Snape to know him.



"From the first moment I set foot in this room, you made it seem as though I was some celebrity that wanted special treatment when all I wanted was to be a normal student. Merlin, Snape, before I got my Hogwarts letter I didn\'t even know magic existed. I only learned about my parents and Voldemort when I came here. I hate that. I hate that people think they know me because they\'ve read my story in the papers."



Snape growled and said, "I realize I was lax while in the infirmary, Potter, but I will ask you again not to say his name." When Harry began to protest, Snape held up a hand. "A favor, Potter. Or out of respect, whichever you find more appealing."



Harry nodded and there was silence for a few moments before Snape spoke again. "I realize now that your upbringing was... unpleasant, to say the least. I did not know it at the time. I know that in the recent years the media has been excessively hard on you, but they\'ve also praised you. You cannot tell me that you didn\'t enjoy at least a small amount of all the attention."



Harry looked at Snape as though he was mad. Was that actually what Snape thought of him? He knew that his face revealed his every thought but he was glad for it. He wanted Snape to know what he thought of that statement, how hurtful that thought was.



He thought of Remus\' question after that run-in with Malfoy and asked, "Is that really what you think of me, Snape? I mean, I know you like to pretend you\'re a heartless bastard, but is that really how you see me?"



Several looks crossed Snape\'s face, one of which Harry had never seen before. Anger of course, presumably for calling him a heartless bastard; shock that Harry had dared to speak to him like that. But the final expression was more difficult to discern. After a moment, Harry decided that the man looked properly chastened for the first time in Harry\'s memory. He had seemed to concede the point when Remus had made it, but right now he looked regretful that he had caused Harry any pain.



"If I\'m incorrect in my assumptions, Potter, feel free to inform me."



Harry looked at his hands and then the lightly simmering cauldrons between them. He considered how to properly answer the question. "After my fourth year when all of those articles were printed about the Tri-Wizard Tournament... everyone looked at me differently. I mean, yeah, in my second year everyone thought I was going to set Slytherin\'s monster on them but that was just the students.



"After fourth year, everyone looked at me in one extreme or the other. They either thought I was completely off my nut or they were die-hard supporters and equated my name with the defeat of all the evil in the world."



Harry looked up and saw Snape listening to him intently. Harry gulped a bit and returned his gaze to his hands. "Every time I meet someone, they don\'t see me for me. I mean, it\'s like they feel that they already know me. And whether that me is a hero or a lunatic is completely up to them; up to what articles they choose to believe in the Prophet. But they don\'t know me, they don\'t want to. Why would you want to be wrong about a hero, or have to change your mind about a lunatic? People don\'t want to know me, so they never will."



Snape nodded and put his forefinger on his lips in thought. "Surely your friends know you, Potter. You\'re very fortunate to have people who stand beside you regardless of your standing in society."



Harry looked at the finger on Snape\'s mouth before moving up to his eyes. He nodded and stated solemnly, "Yes."



There was silence between them again before Snape said, "Accio pomegranate extract."



Harry watched as Snape caught the floating jar and then, hand shaking, handed it to Harry. "Add two drops of this to the larger cauldron."



Harry did so and Snape used his wand to direct the stirring rod.



Snape sighed and sat down in his chair, looking exhausted. "It will be some time before we can begin to practice Occlumency or defense, but we can discuss the theories behind them... particularly those you would not have learned in class. While these simmer, tell me, Potter," Snape said, an odd look in his eye, "What do you know of shielding charms?"



**********************



Remus Lupin walked the hallways of the dungeons, smiling as he took in familiar territory. It had been quite a while since he had been to this level of Hogwarts. Severus usually came to him to deliver the wolfsbane potion that was made for him four years ago.



He slowly approached the door that led to Severus\' private potions lab and stilled before entering. A look of surprise came over his face as he overheard laughter- Harry\'s laughter and then Severus saying, "You\'re mad, Potter. It can\'t be done without a strong shielding charm and a trampoline. Anything less would be suicide."



Harry laughed again and said, "Where would you get a trampoline in the middle of battle? You could transfigure one, I guess, but-- look this is easier. I\'m going to try it, only you cast the levitation charm and then-"



Curiosity won over stealth as Remus opened the door. His eyes were wide in astonishment as he saw Harry standing on top of one of the unoccupied tables, a large smile on his face and his laughter lingering in the air.



The even greater surprise was seeing the corner of Severus\' lip upturned and the mirth dancing in his eyes. Both men seemed to deflate as they turned to look at Remus. Harry\'s green eyes widened while Snape cleared his throat and stirred a cauldron, both acting as if they\'d been caught at something.



Harry quickly got off the table and cleared his throat. "Remus! So glad to see you." Remus watched Harry walk towards the doorway, feeling extremely uncomfortable, as if he had interrupted something intimate.



Harry continued speaking. "I\'m sorry I didn\'t go see you but..."



Hating the look of guilt in Harry\'s face, Remus smiled and quickly said, "I\'m fine now, Harry. And yes, as I\'m sure Severus told you, any rest I can get is a great help." He put an arm around Harry, lightly embracing him, then turned to Severus.



"Good afternoon, Severus. How are you feeling?"



"I was feeling fine until now. Ask me again as you\'re leaving, Lupin."



Remus chuckled at what he hoped was a friendly jab. "I actually came down here to give you something, Harry. I\'m sure you\'ll be glad to get back into your own clothes again."



With that, Remus removed a small object from his pocket, placed it on the floor, and uttered a charm. Harry put a hand on his trunk and was visibly relieved to see it again. "Thank you, Remus." Harry ran a finger over the worn shirt he was wearing. "I\'ll give this back to you as soon as it\'s been washed, alright?"



Remus nodded and smiled at him again. Harry put the trunk in the corner of the room and then went to stand in between the two men; Snape sitting at a table with two cauldrons and Remus standing by the door. Harry shuffled his feet and looked between them, the silence growing.



Snape was looking into the cauldrons, seeming not to notice the almost tangible quiet growing inbetween the men.



"What are you brewing, Severus?" Remus finally asked.



"It remains to be seen, as Potter was the one to prepare the ingredients. It could be a healing potion or it could be nettle soup. I\'ll inform you of my decision when the potion\'s finished."



Remus smiled and continued to watch as Harry put his hands in his pockets, still looking between the two of them and occasionally giving an awkward smile.



"Am I interrupting something...?"



"No," Harry said quickly. "We were just talking. Nothing big, just killing time while the potion brews."



Again, silence. The only person who seemed to be amused by it was Severus as he smirked and used his wand to stir one cauldron clockwise and the other in the opposite direction.



Feeling very much like a third wheel, Remus said, "Well, I\'ll be going then. Harry, you\'re free to visit me when you like."



Harry smiled. "I\'ll be by soon. Just going to finish up here."



Remus said goodbye to Severus and turned and walked into the hall, shutting the door behind him.



As he left he heard Harry say, "Oh, shut up. You know you like him too. Now about that charm--"



Remus began to walk away from the door, feeling almost as if he had been eavesdropping.



******************



Harry used a small ladle to pour part of the finished potion into a bowl, as Snape had asked, while the Potions Master used a charm to clean the cauldrons and all the supplies that had been used. He bottled the rest and put it aside. He did all this and put all the instruments back into their places by the time Harry had finished pouring the now purple-looking salve.



"So, nettle soup or healing potion?" Harry asked.



Snape looked at the potion and dipped a single finger into it, taking a minute amount and feeling its consistency. He brought the finger up to his nose and took a strong whiff. "A passable salve. Perhaps you are good for something other than being a human cane, Potter."



Harry chuckled and leaned back in his chair. "Is it for the infirmary, then?"



Snape shook his head. "No. It\'s for you."



Harry frowned and gave Snape a look of confusion. "Me? But I\'m fine; I don\'t need a healing potion."



Snape put the bowl off to the side and gathered a large amount of the salve into his hand. "Give me your right hand, Potter."



Harry obeyed, though still confused. Snape lightly took Harry\'s hand in his left, turning it palm down. He then carefully applied the salve over the thin, white scar between his index finger and his thumb.



"Oh."



"Yes. I can\'t change what happened, but I can do this."



Harry looked up as Snape said this but the dark eyes were watching the scar on his hand. Snape held his hand tenderly and gently massaged the salve into his flesh. Harry watched in fascination as the scar that had blighted his hand for the last two years began to disappear under Snape\'s gentle ministrations.



After a few minutes of this the scar had completely disappeared, and Harry said nothing as Snape continued to hold his hand, silently enjoying the man\'s presence and his fingers going over his own.