Mine

People in love get fast and foolish
People in love get everything wrong
People in love get scared and stupid
People in love get everything wrong

At least they're not lonely
At least they're not lonely
Never Be Lonely

BBBBaby I think I'm going CCCCrazy
And why should I be sane without you
-The feeling-Never be lonely

*

“im what?”, I replied dumbfounded, it wasn’t true, I didn’t believe it, I cant be pregnant…no, of course not, I reassured myself.
“you’re wrong”

“its true miss, I don’t know if it is good or bad news for you but I wasn’t expecting it either, you just need to get over the initial shock

“I don’t know I just, I cant be pregnant, not by him, not now”

“what’s so terrible about it miss? You say you love him”

“I-I…after everything he has done to me, things he has made me do, things what will happen. I-I don’t know, im so confused”

“Don’t be”, Lucius told me seriously with his hand on my shoulder. “Yes bad things have happened involving you two, yet this, this is what you have always wanted, im not usually one for being nice but come on Hermione, you can do this”. I looked up to him scared, can I really have a child with Voldemort? The last time was different, so much has happened since then.

“what do I do…”

“be a mother”, the healer assured me and wiping away the tears from my red tinted eyes

“a mother…”, I gasped and then smiled with tears running down my face, “I-im going to be a mum!”, I choked and put a hand to my mouth. “im going to have a baby…”

“well you seem to enjoy surprises, I certainly did not enjoy that”, Lucius said with a half frown, half smile

“I thought I was ill, but instead I have someone growing inside of me! But-what is he going to do?”, I referred to Voldemort nervously.

“I shall send him the news-”

“no! no, I need to tell him myself…when he returns. He is obviously busy at the moment he doesn’t need this”

“its your choice but I think he would prefer to know”

“I just want to be ready myself”

“well I ask you not to tell the dark lord I knew anything about it”

“ok I wont. But I just cant imagine having a child with him. Yes, I was all lovey with him but, but I cant forget things what have happened, he doesn’t realise that”

“He’s still a man miss, and they tend to forget that us woman don’t forget”, the healer chuckled

“Yes he is still a man, I just hope he isn’t so, well…evil in the future, I wont count on it though…he thinks everything is fine, its not is it...I think I need to talk to him”

“Do it before telling him about the baby if you do…well, I bid you congratulations then”, Lucius said awkwardly

“thank you Lucius”, I smiled, “I cant believe it, even if it is with him-don’t get me wrong I love him but sometimes things don’t last-…well I am going to have a child!”

“you know you really are just a child yourself miss”, the healer mentioned but it didn’t bother me

“I am young but I’ve seen and done enough to prove otherwise, I don’t care how old I am, I don’t exactly have a school or job to think about, just a child…”, I lay back on the bed and closed my eyelids, “how far along am I again?”

“about 4 or 5 weeks miss, the child was conceived around mid-September”

“so a summer baby, it seems so long away yet eight months doesn’t. wait, how has it survived all the damage I must have received since then?”, I asked confused

“you still have the protection charm on your, well, where the baby was from last time, its one of those spells which have to be removed to stop working they don’t just go”, Lucius explained and watched me carefully.

“ok, lucky I guess…Lucius, do you think the dark lord will be pleased or pissed? Honestly”

“honestly? I have no idea, I don’t want to get your hopes up or down. I know he wants to have a child with you, im not sure if he wanted one now because of your potential-”

“he wants to have child with me?”

“yes, did you not know? Well he has…mentioned it in the past that he thought you would be a fine lady to produce any offspring”

“you make me sound like a farm animal”, he snorted, “you are lucky im happy or id kick your ass!”

“you make me laugh Hermione, I shall leave you to it then, good luck with the erm, child”, he nodded and apparated with no further words.
Lucius was kind, i didnt expect it but i really should just get over my beliefs that he is pure evil-hes only mostly, theres still some room for being nice.

“you will help me during this wont you? Im so scared”, i asked the healer worriedly

“Of course i will unless the dark lord states otherwise miss. And don’t be scared, the dark lord will probably provide you with everything you need miss. You are happy then?”

“excited, happy and scared at the same time. So is this why my breasts have been aching and that?”

“yes, just the early symptoms, I can sort out your sickness but im afraid nausea and breast swelling I cant help with. As long as you don’t stress yourself out, eat well and don’t have any sudden movements the nausea shouldn’t be too bad. Sorry its very muggle”

“no its fine with me, he’s going to love the breasts though, always has had a thing for them”, she laughed and handed me a half-a-litre bottle of potion.

“for the sickness, a tablespoon will do whenever you need it, just gave you a larger bottle so you don’t always have to come down here when you don’t need to”, I nodded and stood up

“thank you for everything, I still cant believe this is happening to me!”

“everything will be worth it in the end”, hopefully so.

I went back to my bedroom and fell into the armchair. This morning I was just a girl, now suddenly I am destined to be a mother in around 8 months time, it seems so soon. The last time I was pregnant I was worried but more happy. This time im unsure, I so want to have a baby but…Voldemort. I don’t even know why I love him, I don’t want to after all he has done but I cant seem to help it, I couldn’t stop the tears falling and I knew he would be back within the next few days.
Now I think about all he has done, now I am going to be a mother I can truly see the wider picture.

How would I tell him anyway? Just before he left I felt love stoned or something as I nearly always feel, yet now when I think about it, he has a way with words that seem to make me feel like I am in the wrong. Let alone telling him about the baby, how can I tell him how I feel? I just want to be angry for once without him saying or doing anything that makes me feel guilty!

Now im pregnant I can see that, im so stupid for not seeing it before! But being pregnant makes it so much harder…

*

(Two days later)

“Milord, I’ve organised the new laws for certain countries, as you know not everyone can follow the same things because of economic and other conditions…I hope that is ok with you?”, Severus uttered opposite my desk at the ministry.

“Yes that is fine, quote good news actually as I wish to return to my home. I have been needing to torture her for a bit…”

“why may I ask milord?”

“she kissed Lucius, and she knew I would not like it, did it on purpose it seems”, Snape didn’t seem surprised at this statement but then again he never ever seem surprised.
“Ill be heading off then, I guess I should be easy on her as she is ill but the healer would have sorted that out by now, no I think ill just listen to her screams for a bit”, I smirked sadistically. It doesn’t matter if I hurt her for a bit, yes I love her but I have her wrapped round my finger, she’ll get over it.

With that I apparated to my bedroom chambers to see her curled up on the sofa, her hair slightly covered her face and a hand lay gently on her stomach. Sleeping beauty but she needed to take her punishment regardless of how she looked. I woke her with Snape’s torture curse, her screams did nothing to make me feel disgusted with myself, she was used to it by now.

“what the fuck was that for!”, she screamed shakily when I stopped the curse, she was still suffering the aftershocks but that did not stop her pushing herself up and glaring at me.

“So you decide to go and get some action did you now?”

“what are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb with me”

“What? I kissed Lucius, I wasn’t exactly getting some action was I! it was just something that happened in the moment, nothing more! You get to fuck whoever you like but i just kiss someone...You really think I deserve to be tortured for a kiss?”, she spat

“You are mine-”

“yes you tell me often enough! Just…fuck off out of my life for a bit!”, I stood stunned at her words but quickly tortured her once again, she could do nothing to stop it and I kept it on her slightly longer as the anger bubbled inside me. “Just torture me why don’t you, I hate everything you do! I am finally seeing sense, you’re the dark lord and I was a fool to just forgive you so easily every time you hurt me! Im so stupid, and I cant even hate you!”, she ran out with tears streaming down her face.

What the fuck is up with her? I kicked the armchair and stormed past her into the library like a stroppy schoolchild, thinking best to just leave her be.

*

What do I do, what do I do, what do I do!

I sat alone in the corner of the bathroom, thinking throughly. So many emotions running through my mind. Do I love him? Yes. Do I want to? No, maybe, I dont know.
I wont tell him about the baby just yet, I just need some time…

I wiped the tears from my face and looked down at where my bump would appear in a few months, I stroked it lightly wondering if it would be a girl or a boy, at this stage I don’t really care whichever, either would beautiful.
“you have the worst person possible as a father but you couldn’t ask for a better mum, I hope you can forgive me in future for introducing you into such a harsh world. He might be a good father I don’t know, but I hope to Merlin you don’t turn out like him, I will use all the power I have to make sure”, I quietly told the 4/5 week old inside of me. “your going to be a summer baby though, at least there will be some sun shining that day”

I had transfigured the bottle for my morning (all day really) sickness into a bathroom tile and put it in the place of one I removed, I wasn’t ready to tell him, and he wasn’t ready to be a father, yet.

Im actually glad im finally thinking straight, obviously it would be expected to be treated bad by the dark lord but I thought by now he would have changed…maybe, yes I was wrong. Or maybe not, he has been good to me, most of the time, I have tested his patience and disrespected him so many times, most would be dead if they acted the same as me. Am I just being ungrateful?

I was always meant to be just a possession, just to be used to win the war. The war has been won and so I have no use, yet im still here, my use now is to please Voldemort, that’s about it really. Is that truly it?

I got up steadily and walked into the library to him reading casually on a sofa, I sat opposite him noticing he didn’t show any expression or emotion as if I wasn’t even there.
“Tom…”, I started but he still didn’t even batter an eyelid, “Tom, you don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, you can even ignore what im going to say but I am going to say it, its your choice. I think since you’ve been gone, I-I just realised how much I cant stand being treated so bad, I have been so stupid to be so weak-”, he silenced me with a charm and set down his book before looking directly at me.

“I have treated you well, so I will hear no more about that. You have not been weak, so I will hear no more about that either, I have been away and I find you have been kissing one of my best death eaters! I think I should be the one angry at you, you are lucky I just decided to give you a small punishment”. unbelievable! I shook my head in disgust and released myself from his silencing charm.

“I cant believe you! You are doing it again! Twisting things to make me look like im in the wrong! Then your going to make me feel guilty so I will apologise and forgive you, its not happening this time so simply. I cant do this anymore, I am weak, I have so easily given into you on so many occasions!”

“what has brought all this around? Who have you been speaking to?”, he questioned severely

“no one, I-I am-…nothing, just confused with what to do. I want to be Hermione Granger again, I want my friends, not to be alone with everyone hating me and to be just a normal teenager…I…I don’t know if I can love you anymore, I want to be with someone who doesn’t hurt me, who cares for me, who doesn’t think of me as a possession. if you don’t like it then I suggest you torture me and throw me in the dungeons”, I looked away to avoid his crimson eyes.

“you don’t mean that”

“I don’t know, I just need some stability. I’ve accepted im always going to be here, I don’t know if I can accept spending forever thinking im happy but when I look at myself, im not. I don’t care that you kill and torture people, I got over that long ago, its when you just torture me when I have done hardly anything-if ever, wrong. Cant you take the blame for once?”

“I will in future”, he leaned over and kissed my lips, I let him for just a moment before pulling away

“its not as easy as that”

“its worked ever since you came here”

“that was different, I was blinded by love, I…I don’t know anymore what I want, I just want you to be nice maybe without it having to lead to anything, I would just like to talk every now and again. My life revolves around just pleasing you, that’s it isn’t it”

“that was what I intended for you originally, but things changed, I just got so used to treating you like that that I cant seem to change how I treat you. Hermione, I don’t mean it when I hurt you, surely you must know that by now, Im not changing, I just hope you can love me for who I am, I did it for you”

“what do you mean?”

“if id have known a few years ago that I would fall in love with the mudblood best friend of my enemy I probably would have done myself in, im lucky that I learnt how to love and you were the one who taught me. I don’t beg but I think I must just to show you”, he kneeled down in front of me and took my hand in his, “I don’t want to lose you Hermione, I’ve been a right…well dickhead to you, please will you forgive me for everything so we can move on?”, he kissed my hand to finish making me smile.

“I never thought id see the day when the dark lord would be on his knees…I want to be fine with everything, I just have to have some time, is that ok?”, I asked which he replied with a shirt nod, “Thank you”

"Thats ok, i just want to see you happy, i hate it when you are sad"

"i know. I just need time-", he put his finger to my lips as he got up and sat next to me, holding me tight.

"I wont disturb you if you dont want me to while you think, just promise me you dont feel anything for anyone but me"

"I promise, you are all i have"

“You are the only person who i really have, not as a possession, but as a wife, a lover and a friend"

I sighed with a smile at his words, they were such beautiful words.

"so my dear, what did you get up to while I was away?”, he asked innocently, I bit my lip…what could I say, Nothing much, just found out I was pregnant but that’s about it?

“I-I found out…some things about Basilisk's, I thought it was interesting”, I quickly decided to lie while closing my mind, he was suspicious I could tell though.

He would have to stay suspicious, at least for a bit. Maybe a day, or even months...
When should I tell him?
__________________________________

I promise with the unbreakable vow the next will be longer lol, i just kept this short because of the nature of the chapte, too long and things might get a bit confusing and complicated.
Hermione is finally realising she needs to stand up for herself, or at least not be such a walk over lol, she does love him but as everyone knows even the best of loves pairings need work sometimes.
She is thrilled at the aspect of being a mother though!