Seduced By Darkness

Note : Hi Everyone! I would’ve updated late last night … Actually it works out to be about 4AM when I was finally done editing but aff seems to always go down at 4AM without fail, woe is me. But here is Chapter 15, Rated NC 17 and ubber angsty. MaryElla *heart* you make me blush, really. Knowing where to end certain chapters can be tricky at times cause you want to pick a moment that doesn’t make you feel like something is missing lol …

“is misery
made beautiful
right before our eyes
will mercy be revealed
or blind us where we stand”
-- “Witness” by Sarah McLachlan

***

Chapter 14 : Misery


Claudia felt a sharp pain shoot across her temple as she attempted to open her eyes. Why did her head hurt so badly? She couldn’t recall and as she tried to sit up she felt a weight on her stomach. Trying to relax she began to slowly open her eyes again. The pain did not come that time. When she looked down she noticed that Tom was asleep, his head resting on her stomach. One of his hands was holding one of her own. The image brought a smile to her lips until she realized that he was not on the bed but sitting on a chair. She frowned trying to remember what had happened.

Her free hand slowly rose as she entangled her fingers in his silky dark locks. The action made him come awake instantly, “Thomas... W-what…” Her voice was just above a whisper and she had to close her eyes as a wave of nausea hit her. It made her groan which made Tom get up and bring a cup to her lips. “Drink this Love, it will settle your stomach and relieve your headache,” He said soothingly. She didn’t ask questions and just did as he asked. “What h-happened?” She asked after the potion began taking effect. “Do you not remember any of it?” He asked.

As she slowly began thinking about it everything came back to her all of a sudden. Gasping she said, “Bellatrix... She tried …” Tom’s eyes looked deadly, “She will never hurt you again. You are safe now Claudia.” He gathered her in his arms, softly rocking her as he did so. “Its ok baby, hush.” She held on to him and cried because the fear that she had felt when Bellatrix stabbed her came back to her then.

After a while she had calmed down but still did not let go of him. “She wanted to make you think that I had hurt myself.” She said in a small voice. The rage that he felt towards Bellatrix intensified, “I know that you would never intentionally hurt yourself. Lucius found her missing so even if I could believe such a thing it would not have worked out for her.” He said heatedly, she could feel the anger emanating off him. “She has not been found yet, but she cannot get inside the castle.” He reassured her when he felt her stiffen. Tom could only remember of one other person that he felt the kind of hatred that he now felt toward Bellatrix and he had killed him hadn’t he? Just as he would kill her when he found her. Oh he had killed others but their deaths had nothing to do with rage or anger, it hadn’t been personal but this was. In the heat of his embrace and the strong beating of his heart Claudia was lulled to sleep in moments unaware of his murderous thoughts.

The next morning Tom entered his downstairs study and gave the carpet a fierce frown. Nagi had cleaned up every drop of Claudia’s blood but he still saw it in his mind’s eye, and it infuriated him. Lucius was giving him a worried look, “My Lord she’s gone, Bellatrix. She had come back to my team a few moments after I arrived here. Lestrange detained her as I told him to do but Gabe, who was assigned to guard her, let her trick him and she escaped.” Tom was so incensed that it took every ounce of physical control he possessed to stay composed. Putting his hands on his desk and leaning forward he looked up at Lucius, “Gabe? He let her escape?” His voice was low and lethal. Without blinking Lucius said, “Yes. He’s an idiot and he let her manipulate him.” Tom rose to his full height and pushed himself off the desk, “Tell Lestrange to bring him to me, I will be in the dungeons.” Lucius only nodded, he didn’t envy Gabe. The Dark Lord was still upset over almost losing his wife, he was full of rage towards Bellatrix and now this idiot had let her escape. No, he didn’t envy him at all.

***

“Thank you for meeting me.” Severus almost jumped a few feet back. Once again he was outside in the damnable cold, waiting for Lucius, who had arrived without making a sound as was his habit. “What happened Lucius, is she alright?” Lucius sat down on a thick, fallen tree trunk and sighed, he looked wearier than Severus could recall seeing him in a long time. “Yes, but barely. She woke up at the last possible moment. Did you know that I actually prayed? I mean, not real prayers, but I offered to sacrifice some House Elves to whatever God is out there.” Lucius said in a deadpanned voice. Severus looked at him dumbstruck, then rolled his eyes when Lucius winked. “Oh please Malfoy! How did she get hurt in the first place?” He asked, sitting down next to Lucius. He told Severus all that had happened with Bellatrix and that she now was not only an enemy of the Ministry but of the Dark Lord as well. “So it’s true then. He has fallen in love with his wife. You cannot tell me otherwise Lucius. The Dark Lord that I know, would have been upset at Bellatrix, would have punished her, but she would’ve been sick enough to enjoy that. However, he would have never had her killed for doing what she did, might have even respected her more for doing it.”

“He’s changed Severus. I won’t argue with you about whether he loves her or not as I believe that he does love her. I just don’t think he’s ready to admit that to himself or maybe he doesn‘t realize that what he is feeling is love. I saw it in the way that he took care of her yesterday.” Lucius said thoughtfully. Severus couldn’t quite wrap his brain around an image of the Dark Lord taking care of anyone, specially a young girl like Claudia. “I am sorry Lucius but I just cannot see this.” Lucius smiled, “If you saw our Lord now then you would understand. His looks are deceptive, and he is much the same inside and yet, he isn’t. I think he’s changed for the better. The way he was, he was too fixated on Harry Potter. Now he seems to have a clearer picture of our ultimate goals and how best to proceed to achieve them.”

“Potter recalled another thing from the wedding. The Dark Lord, is he possessing someone else’s body?” Asked Severus, looking intently at Lucius, who smiled in return. “No. He’s possessing his own body.” Then he got up getting ready to leave. “What the hell does that mean Lucius? Stop talking to me in riddles. I am tired of it. Why the hell has he not called me?” Severus asked annoyed. Lucius turned and fixed him with a steady gaze, “Because he doesn’t trust you.” He said softly, his eyes never leaving Severus’s. “Do you trust me?” Severus asked in an equally low voice. “Yes and no, but then again we have a history. We were great friends once. I prefer to think that you are still loyal to our Lord, still my friend, but I am not stupid Severus.” They looked at each other for a long moment before Lucius turned and disapparated.

***

A few days later Claudia was completely healed, at least physically. She was in bed, wearing an icy lilac colored, lacy satin chemise with side slits, lace tulle and sequin embroidery. Honey was on her lap, playfully biting her fingers. She got up and put Honey in her room. The kitten was relentless at night and if she didn’t put him in there then she wouldn’t get any sleep. She climbed into the middle of the bed and waited for Tom, she knew that he would be coming up soon. Ever since the attack her physical need of him had increased and yet when they were not together she felt an emptiness that threatened to consume her. She tensed when she heard him enter. As much as she physically wanted him she had never sought him out. Tonight she wanted to, felt that she needed to.

The first thing she noted was that he had gone swimming again. His hair was wet and it dripped water droplets over his shirt, which he was removing. “How are you feeling?” He asked her softly as he removed his boots and pants. He liked sleeping naked and she was getting used to doing so as well, she loved the feel of his body pressed against hers. “I have felt fine today. Thank you.” She answered timidly, not sure how to start off being the seductress. Tom looked at her and smiled, he was worried because her usual spunk seemed to be missing. It wasn’t back yet, but he hoped that with time she would get better. He was certain it was the stress of all that had happened in recent months and being the victim of such a vicious attack.

When he was fully naked he turned and found her staring intently at him, her eyes traveling to every inch of his body. He was already semi-hard for her, but having her watch him with such intensity brought on a full erection. “You always say that I am beautiful, but I think that you are.” Her voice was husky and filled with passion. He walked up to the bed and she got on her knees. Her hands went around his waist as she leaned forward and kissed his hard stomach. Her tongue dipped into his belly button for a few seconds then she looked up at him. Her arms went around his neck as she slowly rose up, licking her way up his chest. Stopping at his nipples she nibbled and licked them, turning them into hardened knobs. His fingers entangled themselves in her golden locks as he massaged her neck. She stopped with his nipples and looked up at him at again, staring at his lips. Her hands left his neck and went to his face.

Tom wanted to see what she would do so he let her do as she pleased. At least for as long as his body could stand it. Her lips came within inches of his but she did not kiss him instead she whispered and he strained to hear her, “Make love to me Thomas. Please.” She sounded almost desperate and a bit frightened. A distant part of his mind did not like the words she used or what it would mean for him if he gave in to her. However, his need to please her, overrode his initial reaction to her request. His hands went around her shoulders as he slipped her chemise off, then they slowly traveled down her body to cup her ass. He crushed his mouth to hers as his hands sought to touch every inch of her. His fingers found her center and he began rubbing on her clit. This made Claudia lean closer to him, but he pushed her back on the bed and climbed over her. He settled between her legs as his fingers continued to relentlessly drive her wild. His fingers slowly entered her as his mouth closed around her right nipple.

His tongue slowly licked her other nipple before he also took it in his mouth. Her groans were driving him to distraction. She kept pulling at his hair and raking her nails down his back. “Ah, Thomas ... Yes... I want... Please...” Tom didn’t need further encouragement, he slowly entered her, making her gasp in pleasure. His thrusts were hard but slow, she ran her fingers all over his face and kissed his lips. His control was slipping and his thrusts became more demanding, “Claudia...” He groaned, as she wrapped her legs around him to take him deeper inside her. Not long after that she came, shuddering and calling out his name. He continued pumping in and out of her until he also came. His face buried in the crook of her neck, he closed his eyes and breathed in her scent. She smelled of sex and honey, and he smiled at the odd combination.

She turned her face away from his but not before he felt one of her tears on his face. His response to that was to hold her tighter to him. Claudia wanted him to never let her go but at the same time she felt like she was coming apart. She felt trapped in her skin, as much as she physically needed him, emotionally she was starving for something that she felt would always be out of her reach. When Tom didn’t feel her relax he began to gently rock her. The heat of his body soon lulled her to sleep, he followed soon after.

***

Severus was not particularly enjoying this Order meeting. He had told Dumbledore of the attack on Claudia the night that it had happened. The headmaster insisted on not letting anyone else know until they knew if Claudia had survived. However, Severus had hoped that he would not have been required to be present when Dumbledore informed the rest of the Order members, specifically the girl’s parents and her friends. “You could have tried to follow Malfoy!” Yelled Caleb, Severus understood that the man was distraught and thus wasn’t thinking properly. That, however, did not stop Severus from saying, “Oh? And after I followed him and gotten myself killed who would’ve made the antidote for your daughter?”

“Shut up Snape! You have no tact” Sirius said loudly. “I don’t recall speaking to you Black but I always forget your need to feel involved.” He said smoothly, pleased that the comment had made Sirius flush. “This is not helping.” Harry said, stepping in between Severus and Sirius. “At least we know that she’s alive and apparently he’s treating her ... err... gently? So that’s something.” He finished, not sure what else to say and looking helplessly toward Dumbledore. “It is something Harry, and we all must consider what this means. Was Harry correct when he told us about Voldermort’s feelings toward Claudia?” Lupin asked. Cora Olmo gave an anguished cry, “That monster cannot love my daughter, he has her there against her will. How could a thing like him possibly love anything or anyone?” Dumbledore gently patted her hand, “I know Cora, which is why we must find out what’s different. Lucius told Severus that Voldermort is not possessing someone else’s body but his own. I believe that the answer to all our questions lie there and we must find out what he meant.”

***

The storm outside the castle had progressively gotten worse. It had been raining all day and now it appeared that it was going to rain all night as well. High winds and rain were beating on the balcony door, while thunder and lightning filled the night sky. Claudia thought the weather fit her mood. She felt so wary of fighting her feelings for Tom, so incredibly tired of loving and hating him with equal fervor. She embraced her hate of him when they weren’t physically together, it was easy to do. It was the love she felt for him that terrified her. Ever since Bellatrix’s attack she’d felt a vulnerability unlike anything she’d ever experienced before. It was made worse by her intense desire to have him with her, and not just physically. The things that she wanted from him, what she ached to have from him, where nothing but childish dreams on her part. She knew that he could never give her what she truly needed. That he could never be anything but what he was. What she realized was that no matter how gentle, no matter how much he wanted her, it would never be enough for her. Because what he couldn’t offer her was what she truly wanted.

Tom watched her quietly from the doorway. He’d gone looking for her when she wasn’t in their room. Ever since she had recovered from Bellatrix’s attack she seemed to cry every night. However, when they were together she was more passionate than ever. It was as if she was desperately searching for something, and when she couldn’t find it she’d break down. He was at a loss as to what to do, and hated the fact that it bothered him so much. He wanted to help her but he didn’t know what was wrong or how to begin to fix it. “Why aren’t you in our room?” He asked softly.

Looking up at him, a tired and defeated look in her eyes, Claudia shrugged but said nothing. He walked up to the bed and stood in front of her. “Claudia, what’s wrong?” She laughed softly and looked at him as if he’d just asked the most incredulous question ever. “Thomas, what’s always wrong with me, you.” She got up and walked around him, “You and this place. You and the way I feel about you, you and your damn crusade against muggles and muggle-borns. So essentially, everything that’s wrong with me revolves around you darling.” She finished tiredly.

“We’ve been through this. It’s not going to change Claudia. After Bellatrix attacked you something changed with you. You didn’t use to cry every night before.” He said, still talking in a soft quiet voice, not voicing how his feelings had changed since that night as well. Claudia really hated that he noticed everything that she did, that he noticed when something was off with her. How could he be so in tuned to her and yet not know what was wrong? “I hate this place. Everyday I feel like I am dying. I wish I could just hate you. Because I do hate you, but unfortunately that’s not the only thing I feel for you.” Tom reached out and touched her face. She closed her eyes and moved away from his reach, “You should have let me die. Why didn’t you just let me die?”

She noticed how his eyes had widened and then narrowed at her words, a stricken look crossing his features. She was past caring and turned away from him, throwing the balcony doors open she waltzed outside. Rain soaked her in a matter of seconds. Claudia turned her face upwards and closed her eyes letting the rain wash over her. Tom was beside her in mere moments, he grabbed her arms and turned her to face him, “What the fuck do you want from me Claudia? You know why the bloody hell I didn’t let you die.” She slapped his hands away, “NO I DON’T! Why don’t you tell me because I fail to understand why me, you could just take another. Why must it be me?” He grabbed her again and shook her, “Stop this, I don’t want anyone else. I told you, you are mine, forever, I will not let you go. Stop fighting me on this. You only keep hurting yourself.”

Tears mingled with rain made her vision blurry but she didn’t care, “You keep saying that, every time I get upset you keep telling me to stop fighting you, to accept this and you. You want to know the truth? I want to die because I don’t want to feel this for you. Because it’s killing me to admit to myself that despite all that I know about you, despite who you are. I love you. I hate you and myself for it!” He had let go of her and just stared at her in disbelief. She laughed suddenly, a bit hysterical “Oh, I forget, you don’t know what love is. How could you possibly know? You’ve never experienced it. You’ve never had anyone love you. Certainly not your father, he couldn’t be bothered with you, but you are just like him aren’t you?” He suddenly and painfully grabbed her arm and pulled her to him, “NEVER say that to me again, NEVER mention him to me!” But Claudia was urged on by a deep need to hurt him as he had hurt her and said, “What? Daddy’s little boy is surprised that he’s grown to become just as worthless as the father that didn\'t want him?”

Tom’s eyes flashed and he raised his fist. She almost welcomed it, and closed her eyes thinking that when he hit her perhaps then she’d be able not to love him. But the blow never came, he let go of her and growled deeply while smashing a vase that was next to him. Claudia was stunned, he didn’t hurt her, she was so certain that he would do it. She jumped a good three feet back when he whirled around to face her, “Go inside. NOW!” He said in a clipped tone. It was apparent to her that he was trying to control himself so as not to hurt her. She stared at him for a few moments then turned and walked inside the bedroom. He stayed outside, staring out into the night fighting to regain control. Her legs gave out as soon as she entered her room and she fell to the floor, terrible sobs raking her body.

Tom was raked with turmoil, nothing new to him since the night she’d almost died, the night he had almost lost her forever. Just now he had almost hit her, had wanted to actually grab her by the neck and squeeze. For a few moments he considered doing both. However, he couldn’t bring himself to hurt her, he knew that she was stressed, that she felt lonely. He also understood that she was lashing out because she was hurt and he was the reason for it. He took her from the people that she loved and loved her and had given her nothing but pain, physical and emotional. This shouldn’t matter to him but it did. She said that she loved him and that she hated herself and him for it. Tom still didn’t fully understand what love was. Whatever he felt for her might be love, he couldn’t know. The only thing that he was certain of was that he needed to do something, to try and fix this. Because she couldn’t go on like this and he was not going to back down and let her go.

Walking back inside and seeing her so crushed and defeated was like getting a knife plunged into his chest. He was furious with himself for not being more careful with her. He bent down and picked her up in his arms “Shush Baby,” Her arms, instinctively went around his neck. “I did not mean to hurt you.” This seemed to make her cry harder. He slowly walked back to their room, once inside he sat on the bed with her on his lap. “You want me to love you, I know.” He said while beginning to rub her back. “But I...” She shook her head, “You don’t know how, you can’t love me.” She whispered between sobs. Kissing her forehead he said, “The way that I care for you is almost painful. When you almost died I.... I can’t lose you.” He said fiercely, “I want your happiness and yet I know that I am limited in what I can give you. I know that you want to be free of here, and me, but I am unwilling to let you go. Perhaps, love would be letting you go, so I am afraid that I will never love you then. Because letting you go is something that I will never do. I can‘t and I am sorry.”