Harry Potter and the Secret Nurse

Chapter Fourteen
Mayhem in the Manor

"What the bloody hell have you all been up to?" screamed Mrs Weasley as she greeted Harry and the gang after they made their way back to the kitchen, "You're all soaked to the bone!"

"We thought we'd all go for a paddle, mum," said George.

"The bath's upstairs!" said Mrs. Weasley as she pointed up, "How did you manage this? No- wait- I don't want to know. Just go upstairs and get changed."

Hermione was airing out her clothes with a hot air spell from her wand, then she tried to help Harry as best she could. Once upstairs Harry gave a tour of the magicked third floor. Everyone was really impressed by the bath, but only Fred and George showed a great interest in the library with its collection of illicit books. The tour finished with a quiet tip-toe look at Hedwig’s nest. Hermione, Ginny, and even Luna just squealed with delight over how cute the coming baby snowy owls would be.

"Does she have a name?" Ginny asked, regarding Hedwig's mate.

"I don't know. I don't think she has a master, so I'm hoping... you know.. that I could keep her," said Hermione, "I've been feeding her every day, and I've been keeping Crookshanks out of here."

"Oh, Hermione she's gorgeous," said Ginny, "I wish I could have an owl like that."

"Well, maybe you can have dibs on one of the babies," saida, "a, "They should be hatching just before Halloween."

"Oh, you think so?" asked Ginny.

"Yes, the best bonds wizards and witches develop with their owls is from birth," said Luna, 'I wouldn't mind having one myself. Snowy owls may be temperamental, but they are fiercely loyal, and great at post."

Hedwig beamed with pride at everyone and greeted Harry. Unseen, Crookshanks was trying to crawl up the dumbwaiter shaft and broke the pulley, sending him and the entire contraption hurtling back to the kitchen with a crash.

"What was that?" asked Harry.

"Who knows, this house is full of such weird noises," said Hermione, "Strange though, the owls having babies so late in the year?"

"Must mean we're in for a warm winter," said Luna.

Ginny pushed Luna into Ron as though she was trying to say, "You're acting weird again, go hug your boyfriend."

Later that day, everyone was surprised to see Hermione receiving special tutoring from Professor McGonagall, but not as much as they were to see McGonagall herself walk in on them while they were carrying on in the library. George tried to distract McGonagall from Fred who hid an illicit potions book behind his back and snuck it back onto the shelf.

"You've done a cracking job with training Hermione, Professor," said George, "She's got Harry kicking his legs like a hanged man."

"Thank you, for that eloquent appraisal Mr. Weasley," said McGonagall, "You would like to know that Professor Dumbledore is in the dining room and would like to see you two at your earliest convenience."

"And about time, too," said George, "We didn't spend our school years just to rack up OWL's and NEWT's. We've been learning real skills that should help the Order."

McGonagall stopped the twins for a moment and said, "Despite the fact you did not finish your school year, you should know that you can stop by the Ministry and challenge the NEWT exams any time you wish, if you ever decide to complete your wizarding education."

"We'll consider that," said Fred.

"Yeah, if we have to get a paying job working for SOMEBODY ELSE," said George.

"Or maybe we'll just do it on a lark," said Fred.

Hermione met up with Harry in the bedroom after her lesson and asked if he knew what Fred and George saw Dumbledore over. He said he had not seen them yet and was getting changed to use the bath for his muscle training with Hermione's help.

"Where's Ron and Luna?" asked Hermione.

'I don't know," said Harry, "We got separated after Ginny and I went to the kitchen to get some owl treats to feed Hedwig's mate."

Hermione opened the door to the bath and heard some noise coming from in the bath with water splashing. She blocked Harry's chair for a second and peered inside.

"Ron and Luna are in there," Hermione whispered.

"What are tdoindoing?" asked Harry.

"What do you think?" said Hermione as she slowly closed the door, "They're screwing."

Harry let out a guffaw.

"Leave'em be," said Harry, "It’s probably the most privacy they’ve had all summer."

Harry and Hermione giggled and held their ears up to the door and listening to Ron and Luna howl and carry on. Then they distinctly heard Luna call out loud "Delectatio".

Hermione gasped and almost screamed, "Where'd she get Delectatio from?"

"Could they have found the book?" asked Harry.

"No, it's hidden under the bed," said Hermione.

"Well, I guess she must have always known it," said Harry, "Ron did say Luna 'did things to him' that would get them both arrested."

"That bitch! If she knew it all along why didn't she share?" huffed Hermione.

"Well.. you.. we all could have been a little nicer to her last year," said Harry, "Besides, she's Ravenclaw.
"S
"She better know what she's doing," said Hermione, "Else wise Ron's going to have a big crap in your bathtub."

Harry went to the bed and reached under it to muscle the book out.

"Harry!"

"What?" said Harry as he plopped the book in plain view on the desk, "If they already know it there's no point in hiding this anymore."

"What about Ginny?"

"Luna's best friend and Ron's sister?" asked Harry, "You think she's not going to find out?"

"Alright, but, don't wave it around in front of the Order," said Hermione.

"Aww, I was going to bring it with me to supper and show it to McGonagall."

"Harry!"

"Oy! Professor! Take a gander at page 336! Hermione have been doing that upstairs right over your head all week!"

Hermione grabbed Harry from his chair and pushed him onto the bed going, "You do that and I'LL KILL YOU!"

Climbing on top of Harry, Hermione tickled him for a little, then kissed him passionately.

"Got to train, Hermione," said Harry as he stuck his hand up Hermione's shirt, "We need to work out."

"Now? Don't you dare," said Hermione.

They wrestled with Hermione's bra as Harry struggled to take it off, then they were interrupted with really loud squeals coming from the bathroom.

"Jeez! Did we make that much noise?" asked Hermione.

"I guess we must have," said Harry.

"Cripes the Order must have heard us carrying on if it's that loud through there," said Hermione, "I tht tht these walls were a lot more soundproof."

Harry pointed to the gouge marks the upper bedposts made in the wall and said, "Not to mention we've nearly wrecked this bed a few times. What room is directly underneath this bedroom?"

"It's the library, I think," said Hermione.

"Right, well the Order ever hardly gathers in there, so it would be the rooms up here where they would pick up on us," said Harry, "Hell, they use guest bedrooms right across the hall from us. They must have heard something once in a while."

"That doesn't bother you, does it?" Hermione asked coy fully.

Harry joked that it didn't and began fondling Hermione's breasts again and kissed her. Hermione kept asking what if Ron and Luna walked in on them, but Harry said he would know when they were done making out when the noise stopped. They kissed on the bed while forgetting about another intruder. Ginny was in the hall, spying through the bedroom door and touching herself.
Half an hour later Harry and Hermione completely forgot about Ron and Luna being in the bath room and they were interrupted when they sheepishly made their way out. They saw Harry and Hermione together on the bed.

"Oh, sorry, mate," Ron.

Hermione sat up quickly, fixing her hair.

"That's okay," said Harry.

A noise came from the hall that sounded like someone ting ing on the carpet.

"Great bath you got their mate," said Ron, "Was it really magicked by Dumbledore-"

Ron's question was broken up by some strange loud grumbling coming from his stomach. A look of horror came over his face and he bolted back inside the bath room. Luna was looking as little embarrassed and wanted to say something to break the tension.

"So-"

*BRAAAAAAAAAAAAP*

"OOH DEAR GAWD!!" Ron's voice was heard crying from the bath room.

*BRAAA*SPL*SPLOOOOSH*

Luna subtly kicked the door shut with her foot.

"So privacy is not really a problem for you two here?" asked Luna.

Hermione and Harry shook their heads no while muffled cries of Ron eeked through the walls.

"Ron and I have had an awful time this summer, trying to be together," said Luna, "Ron's gone through enough floo powder to send Hogwarts on a day trip to Egypt. His mother insisted I come along here to visit so he wouldn't have to keep sneaking off."

"It's great to have you here, Luna," said Harry, smiling, "It really is."

Luna noticed the Connubium Charms book on the writing desk and said, "Oh, you have a copy of that as well?"

"You know that book?" asked Hermione.

"Of course, Dad's got one," said Luna, "I don't think he wants me fooling around with those spells, but he's done such an awful job of hiding that book. I've been flipping through it since I was eight years old."

Another raucous round of explosive bowel movements and screaming was heard coming from Ron and Luna excused herself.

"I think he needs me," said Luna.

Harry raised his hand and called out, "The shower nozzle has a hose extension."

"Oh great, thanks," said Luna.

As soon as Luna shut the door Harry and Hermione looked at each other, then to the book.

"She's been going though that book since she was EIGHT?" Hermione gasped unbelievably.

"No wonder she's always been a bit off," said Harry.

On the second floor bedroom where the girls were staying Hermione saw Ginny with a pair of headphones listening to music. She was laying on her bed reading a romance manga. Hermione had to wave to get Ginny's attention.

"Suppertime," said Hermione, "What is that? An mpeg player?"

"A What?" asked Ginny after she took her headphones off, "Oh, that's muggle. I've seen those, they're neat. But they don't play much and they're expensive as hell. I got this from Fred and George's store."

Ginny showed Hermione a funny looking small talisman that looked made out of plastic and costume jewellery. It had a practical smooth and flat cylinder shape with rounded edges.

"Put whatever sounds you want in it and it replays them later," said Ginny.

Hermione picked it up from Ginny and marvelled it.

"I didn't know Fred and George sold practical items," said Hermione.

"Well it was never meant to be practical," said Ginny, "It was made to play farting noises and other silly stuff you pick up. I rigged the spell to play anything I want."

"You rigged it yourself?" asked Hermione, "How much can it hold?"

"I don't know, should there be a limit?" asked Ginny.

"It's an ingenious invention, Ginny," said Hermione, "You could make a fortune selling these to play music if you made your own."

"Nope, a truly ingenious invention would play musrecorecord music AND play the wizarding wireless," said Ginny, "Those are three totally different kinds of magic. No one has been able to blend all three into something like this."

Ginny put the player away and they ran into Fred and George in the hall.

"So what did Dumbledore want with you two?" Hermione asked.

"You know better than to ask members of the Order about secrets," said Fred.

Hermione refused to believe Dumbledore would ever consider Fred and George for serious missions and pressed them.

"Let's just say Dumbledore knows talent when he sees it," said George.

"Sorry we wont be able to visit for the whole of the summer, but we'll be off to Paris in a week or so," said Fred.

Ginny was completely swallowed into Fred and George's goading and pleaded, "Oh come on, tell us! You're our only inside track now. It's bad enough Harry passed on a chance to be recruited into the Order, now you two are going to hold out on us? What's in Paris?"

"Hopefully some reasonably priced rent in the Haussman district," said Fred.

"The Haussman district?" asked Hermione as she ran through her own knowledge of being in Paris in her head, "You're... opening a store in Paris? That's what Dumbledore wants you to do?"

"Head for business, that Dumbledore has, always knew it," said George, "He's making a ground floor investment into the funny business."

Hermione shook her head and said, "And funny is money. Right. I don't think your style of humour is going to go over big with the French."

"Two words, Hermione."

"Jerry Lewis."

"Fine, you'll be a hit, then," said Hermione.

Mrs. Weasley was having a hectic time preparing dinner, but her greatest chore was keeping Tonks away from the china. McGonagall, Dumbledore and Lupin were present too. With the most familiar faces of the Order and half the Weasley family present, the kitchen table was a crowded as Harry had ever seen it. If he was going to invite more guests he would have to have meals in the giant dining room. Of course, he never actually invited anybody here, but that’s what he loved about them. They didn’t have to be asked to come, they were family, every one of them. Harry insisted he and Hermioneservserved wine with their meal and the twins had some as well. He used the candles to make the scene a little more intimate.
With a huge beef roast and a mountain of mashed potatoes and gravy, all of it whipped up by the most expert cook in the whole Order, Mrs. Weasley. Harry surprised everyone by bracing himself against the armrests of his wheelchair and pushing up. With a little straining against the dinner table, Harry eventually righted himself into a stiff standing position. Carefully he balanced himself, took his red wine glass and held out for a toast.

"To absent friends, and absent-minded wizards," said Harry.

A round of cheers came from the table. Hermione held Harry's arm to keep him from falling back into his chair and helped him sit down.

After supper Harry and Hermione were chatting up and noticed Ron and Luna had snuck off to be alone again. They looked around for them a little and came across something very strange, one of the twins (no telling which) was alone in the library reading a potions book that Hogwarts kept in the restricted section. Neither Harry nor Hermione ever saw one of the twins by themselves and it felt very odd. Harry wanted to address him and just randomly picked a name between the two.

"Fred?"

"Yes?"

"Oh, it is you, where's George?"

"He's gone to meet up with his girlfriend over at Club Milo, downtown, like he promised."

"Oh, that girl twas was here earlier. Why aren't you with him? You two don't double-date?" asked Harry.

"We would but Anya's sister Laetitia is doing a photo shoot in Paris right now, she wont be back in London until tomorrow."

"Oh, right then, we're headed upstairs, so you later," said Harry.

"Cheers, mate."

On the way back to the staircase, Harry stopped his wheelchair dead in its tracks as he remembered something George said earlier.

"What a minute," said Harry as a cunning look came over him.

"What is it, Harry?" Hermione asked.

Harry was turning his chair around back to the library.

"Just play along, Hermione," said Harry.

Harry entered back into the library jumping into a conversation as soon as he was through the door.

"Oy! Uhh, Hermione and I are just knackered, mate," said Harry, "Luna and Ron are too busy fooling around upstairs so we're going to turn in. Do me a favour and put the books away when you're done."

"Sure, thing Harry."

"Thanks, Good night, George,"

"Good night Ha- OH BUGGER!"

"AHA!" Harry screamed and laughed as he pointed, "You ARE George! I knew it! YOU ARE HAVING TURNS AT THE SAME WOMAN! I knew you two did that!"

Harry howled with laughter and almost fell from his chair as Fred tried to recuperate and make excuses.

"YOU'RE NICKED, MATE!" Harry rebutted, "You're busted! Oh wait until Ron hears this."

Carrying on, Harry left the library past a completely unmoved Hermione who just stood there with her arms crossed and looked at George.

"If you told them they'd probably be cool with it anyway," said Hermione, "I've read about the kind of kink those two are into."

"Well why do you think we're dating them, Hermione?" asked George, "They know we switch, they switch all the time."

"But they look nothing alike."

"I know," said George, "Make sure that bludger-brain boyfriend of yours doesn't blab it to mum an’ dad. That's the only real reason why we kept shut about it in the first place."

Hermione never had an opportunity engage either Fred or George individually and pressed him, "Does it really feel right for you to be apart from Fred?"

"Never mind, I'm fine," said George as he seemed uncomfortable, "He just better get back before dawn, I don't want to have to stay awake all night waiting for him to come home again."

Hermione left the library, feeling a little curious as to just why would George stay up all night waiting for his brother to come home. Then she figured it was just a funny twin thing, worrying about being apart. It may have been the first time in their lives they were doing this.
The smell of dung bombs and stink pellets at the top of the stairs told Hermione everyone was busy in a game of horseplay. She opened the door to the main bedroom and had to dodge a Flippendo spell that passed over her head. Ginny was chasing after Ron and Luna with bat-bogey hexes while they guarded themselves with rather effective shielding spells. One deflection went right back and hit Ginny. She hit the floor with bat wings crawling around her face. With just a blink she shook them off.

"You're getting better," said Harry, "Nice to see the DA hasn't been slacking off this summer."

"Oy! Hermione's here," said Ron, "Let's play Capture the Cloak,"

"There's hardly enough of us for that," said Hermione.

"Bring the twins in," said Ron, "We haven't played Capture the Cloak in ages! This house is enormous, it's perfect for an indoor game of Capture the Cloak."

"Well only George is here so we can team up in threes," said Hermione.

"No! Wait! Let's do three pairs," said Ron, "Whoever captures a flag first, withoutir oir own getting nicked, wins! I'll team with Luna, Harry's with Hermione, Ginny you get George."

"Aw, George is pretty useless by himself," said Ginny, frowning, "And so is Fred."

"I call red!" said Ron, holding Luna.

"I call blue," said Harry.

"Great, I'm stuck with green," said Luna, "The unlucky colour. George will like it I guess."

"Okay, here's the rules," said Harry, "Lay off the first floor, we don't want to bang around the Order. The kitchen is a 'safe', and the basement is RIGHT OUT. It would take a week to settle a game down there. Whole second floor and everything above it is totally open."

They gathered George on the way to the kitchen to organize the start. Each team would go upstairs unseen to an undisclosed location to hide their cloak, then spend their time either looking for cloaks to capture, or gaurd their cloak and ambush someone coming for them. When a team started they lit their wands with a uredured Lumos spell, which had to stay lit in order to find an opponent's cloak, which would remain unseen until cast in the light of a coloured Lumos spell. Players would know their opponents by the colour of their wands (it's against the rules to switch colours to lure in team mates but often done anyway.) They can capture opponents using the leg-locking curse or other harmless means, even though the definition of "harmless" has been traditionally stretched from time to time.
Ginny found three rags in the kitchen to cast with a cloaking spell and handed them to each team, keeping green to herself.

"Right, Ginny, you and George go first," said Ron, "You have one minute to plant your cloak, then me and Luna go, then Harry and Hermione a minute later."

Once the flags were planted and they were playing Harry had all the upper lights turned down to near-complete darkness to make it easier to sneak around. In the hallway of the second floor Harry wheeled his chair near the edge of the wall looking over the bottom edge frame of a portrait.

"This is so childish," said Hermione, "What are we doing in the hall? We'll get caught out here."

"Shhh!" went Harry and he whispered into the portrait, "Sirius... Sirius! Sirius get up here!"

Harry could hear Sirius making his way through the portraits up to the second floor, into one of his sleeping relatives portraits. He crept himself to not make the snoozing portrait and whispered at Harry.

"What's up, Harry?" asked Sirius.

"Go through the other portraits and see where Ron hid his cloak."

"That's cheating, Harry!"

"You work for me or not?"

Sirius smiled and crept off as though on a mission for the Order again.

"That is cheating, Harry," said Hermione.

"Ron hasn't lost a game of Capture the Cloak since he was a baby," said Harry, "We'll be lucky if Sirius evens the odds."

Hermione shrugged and went, "It's still cheating."

Downstairs, just outside the dining room, McGonagall and Dumbledore finished up a secret meeting they had with Mungdungus Fletch and Cornelius Fudge.

"It's all set," said Mungdungus, "The Weasley's will have a store front and big opening by October. Fred and George have been doing enough business to have to whole basement full of contraband within a week."

"Good," said Dumbledore.

"I have to budge off," said Mungdungus, "See you all."

And Mungdungus Apparated.

"They're awfully young," said Cornelius, "Are you sure you can trust Fred and George with such a delicate mission?"

"They may be young, but they are formidable wizards," said Professor McGonagall.

"And right clever as well," said Dumbledore, "They may be ideally suited to infiltrating the French connection to the Death Eaters."

Dumbledore pulled out a copy of the Daily Prophet and turned to a page that sighted the twins with a few popular French witches who worked as models.

"They are perfectly placed and have just the right exposure," said Dumbledore.

Cornelius took the paper and put his glasses on to examine the photo.

"Good Lord, is he dancing with Laetitia Porsche?" he asked.

"And Fred is dancing with her sister this very moment," said Dumbledore, "Which will no doubt wind up on the paper tomorrow."

Cornelius handed the paper back and said, "Very well, Dumbledore, you know what you're doing, as always. I'll leave this in your hands. If these Weasley twins can do what you claim, it could bust the whole French connection wide open."

On his way out Cornelius noticed some cracking sounds coming from upstairs and asked, "What's all that racket up there?"

"D.A. meeting," said Dumbledore, "They're training."

"As well they should, Lord knows," said Cornelius, "Good evening, Minerva, Albus."

The second Cornelius shut the door Crookshanks was seen galloping down the stairs with bat wings coming out of his behind.

"What is going on up there?" asked Professor McGonagall.

Ron came sliding down the banister while keeping an eye on the upper floor. He kept his focus locked on the upstairs and pulled his wand out, backing away until he almost stepped on Dumbledore's shoes. Ron whipped around and instantly yanked his wand back holding it close to his chest with both hands.

"Woah! Oh, s- sorry, Professor Dumbledore," said Ron in a panic, "I didn't know anyone else was still here."

"Capture the Cloak?" asked Dumbledore.

"Yes sir."

"And you didn't assign a referee?" asked professor McGonagall.

"Well we didn't have-"

"You're out of bounds, Mr. Weasley," said Dumbledore as he pulled out his wand, "Five minute penalty."

And Dumbledore performed a leg locking charm on Ron, who promptly fell to the floor with his knees and ankles clamped together.

"Good night, Mr. Weasley," said Dumbledore.

"Good night professor," said Ron, laying on the floor.

"You might want to try to get in bed before midnight sometime," said McGonagall, "Your parents should be off shift for the Order by then."

"Yes, professor, we'll try to wrap things up before then," said Ron.

Past the door and into the street, Dumbledore and McGonagall spoke as they walked away in the evening of London.

"We haven't had a good inter-house Capture the Cloak for some ti sai said Dumbledore.

"Well that probably has something to do with James Potter's old gang in their fifth year," said McGonagall, "The last time we ever allowed the tournament?"

"Ah, yes, the incident with the giant squid," said Dumbledore, "I never did figure out how they got it into Slytherin Tower. Well... the lagoon monster is a good sport. I'm sure he's forgotten all about that by now. Maybe it's about time we bring it back, but with a few restrictions. We'll have it in the spring, it'll last one weekend, keep it to fifth years and above, and wager... say... 150 house points?"

"150 house points?" asked McGonagall, "Even if someone else won the Quiddich cup, the House Cup could still be up for grabs."

"Feeling a little apprehensive, Minerva?" asked Dumbledore.

"Apprehensive? You forget I've still got two Weasley's in my house," said McGonagall, "And a Weasley has always assured a victory in every Capture the Cloak tournament ever played since Wallace Weasley's time."

"Ahh, yes, I remember, back when you first became head of Gryffindor," said Dumbledore, "Well then, we're on?"

"If the heads of the other houses agree to it, I am most certainly on," said McGonagall.

Ginny and George were in the library crawling through the dark. They could just make out Luna sitting in the dark. George almost tripped over a book he forgot to put away while sneaking up on her. His noise didn’t cause any reaction from her at all. Ginny went around the other side and-

“Gotcha! You’re nicked!” Ginny cried out.

Luna offered no resistance at all and just looked at Ginny and smiled a little.

“Where did you hide the cloak?” demanded George.

“Ah don’t bother,” said Ginny, poking Luna’s shoulder, “She’s gone all funny again.”

“No matter,” said George, “I know how he thinks.”

George ran his finger along the bookshelves, until his fingers hit a pair of books that were sticking out a little further than they should be. With both hands he yanked the books out onto the floor, but all he found behind them was a common, and uncharmed dishrag.

“Dammit! Ron’s too good at this!” said George as he pointed his green-lit wand.

“So where’s the cloak????” asked Ginny.

“It’s not here!” said George, “Luna was bait to make us think she was guarding it, and if she’s here, Ron’s out there looking for-”

“Our flag, which we left unguarded,” said Ginny.

Luna cut in saying, “He planted that dish rag to make you waste time. Actually he planted several all over the library. Pretty brilliant if you ask me.”

“Is the real one in here somewhere?” asked Ginny.

“Could be, don’t know,” said Ginny, “He took off pretty quickly. I don’t think he had a chance to plant it someplace else.”

“Hell, we have no choice, keep looking,” said George.

Footsteps were heard running up the stairs.

"That's got to be Ron!" He must have one of the Cloaks!" said George, "We've got to capture him before he gets back to his own!"

Ginny put a binding spell on Luna, who offered no resistance at all, and joined George in the chase upstairs.

Hermione was in Harry's lap, who had the chair levitating near the ceiling on the hallway of the third floor.

"Harry, I know this is against the rules," said Hermione.

"Shut up!" said Harry, "Somebody has to come through here sooner or later, and when they do, we capture them!"

Footsteps were heard coming at a high pace and Harry told Hermione to get ready. Ron bolted onto the floor from the staircase and skidded to a halt 15 feet away from Harry and Hermione who levitated down to the floor in front of him.

"You're outnumbered Ron," said Harry, "That means you're nicked!"

Ginny and George came up the stairs and stopped just behind Ron as they noticed Harry and Hermione.

"You're trapped!" shouted George, "And we already caught Luna downstairs, you're as good as out, Ron."

"Am I now?" Ron asked coyly.

Ron held his wand to his apparently empty wand and called out the Lumos spell for blue, revealing a blue coloured cloak.

"He's got our Cloak!" Harry shouted.

"That's not all," said Ron.

Ron then called out the Lumos spell for green, revealing he had both cloaks in his hand.

"No way!" shouted Ginny.

"Wait, he's not won yet," said George, "He has to get back to his own cloak before he wins."

Then they all just realized something, whoever of either side got to Ron first would win the game, seizing an opponent's cloak and recovering their own at the same time. Everyone eyed each other like a Mexican stand off and waited for the other side to blink to rush at Ron. Strangely, Ron, keeping an eye on both sides, lit his wand to his own coloured spell and was crouching slowly down to the floor.

"What's he doing?" asked Harry.

As Ron's Wand approached to floor it revealed his red cloak right by his knee. In a flash he snatched it off the floor and claimed victory.

"You nutter!" cried out Harry, "You left it on the floor in plain sight? I must have passed over that spot a dozen times!"

"How did you do it?" demanded George.

Beaming, Ron pointed to several former members of the Order, hiding in portraits in the walls.

"You're not the only one who can recruit help," said Ron, "But you should have recruited more than just Sirius."

Harry was quite surprised to see the portrait his own father come out among the gang that was in Ron's corner.

"Oh God, I really missed this game," said James Potter.

"What are you doing with him?" Harry asked indignantly, "Why didn't you help me?"

"You didn't ask," James Potter said, "Ron really knows how to cover all the bases, he does. Reminds of when Arthur used to play the game. He was a few years ahead of me when ere ere at Hogwarts, but Gryffindor never lost with him around. He was the king of this game, and so I heard were his brothers and father before him."

Butterbeers and candy settled the evening down in the kitchen. A stranger entered the kitchen dressed in Aurors robes, a young wizard with short neat hair looking a little lost.

"Hello? Is this the Black residence?" he asked.

Harry, "It is, I'm Harry, host of the Order."

"I have a message for the Weasley's," said the wizard, "Your parents are staying over at the Dumbledore mansion for the night, so you're on your own until breakfast."

"Thanks mate, we'll hold down the fort till then," said George, "Say, your familiar, have we met?"

"Ah, you're one of the Weasley twins," said the young Auror, "I graduated about five years ahead of you at Hogwarts. The name's Ash, Ash Fundley."

"Ravenclaw! I remember," said George, "Sorry I never got a chance to play against you in Quiddich, you were one cracking good keeper."

"Thanks," sash, sh, "I'm glad I missed playing against you. I hear you and your brother were two brutal beaters. Good night and- oh, I forgot something."

Looking embarrassed, Ash reached into his robes and pulled out a small bit of scrap parchment.

"Your mother insisted I read this out loud, word for word," said Ash, "For pity's sake, behave yourselves. That's it. Night all."

Not a second after the wizard left, everyone looked at each other and laughed out loud.

"What's first?" asked George, "Truth or Dare? Strip ginger snaps?"

"Naked hex!" said Ginny.

"Let's take the bike for a joyride through the house!" said Harry.

"Harry!" Hermione nagged, "You want to lose your legs again? You just barely got them kicking and-"

"Relax, I’m kidding," said Harry as he winked at George, "Still, I wish that storage room was empty. That would be a wicked place to race laps indoors. Or maybe do some DA practice."

"Now there's a thought," said Ginny, "There's got to be someplace down there big enough to practice spell casting. Maybe we can move some of those shelves aside to make an arena."

"Are you going to levitate several tons?" asked Hermione.

"If Fred was here we could do it," said George.

"How about another game of Capture the Cloak?" asked Ginny.

Ron suddenly acted sheepishly and said, "I don't know, guys, I'm a bit knacke I t I think we’ll... uh.. toddle off."

Ron was trying to back out of the kitchen with Luna, who had a look of great anticipation on her face. They weren't fooling anyone, as Ginny may as well have called out loud they wanted to sneak off and make out.

Harry winked at Ron and said, "Well, you have yourself a good toddle, then, mate."

"Right," said Ron.

Ron was awkwardly scratching his head, then he reached into his pants pocket and took out a galleon. It was the galleon used to signal the DA meetings.

"If you see mum and dad come home, give us a shout, would you?" asked Ron.

"That would alert the whole D.A. clan," said Harry.

"Hold on," said Hermione, "Let me see that for a second."

Ron handed Hermione the coin and she read the serial number on it and handed it back.

"No problem," she said.

Quietly passing through the second floor hall later that night, Harry and Hermione overheard Luna and Ron talking, which was strange to them since they figured Ron and Luna would use the unprecedented privacy to make love. Harry stood right by the door and listened in as Hermione reluctantly joined in, not liking this sneaky act of being nosey.

“What’s wrong, Ron?” asked Luna.

“I don’t know, it’s just- it always seems to be something,” said Ron as he struggled out his words, “This was supposed to be our year. Umbridge is gone, the ministry is going to have to reverse Harry’s ban from Quiddich, and I finally got my game together. This was supposed to be our year when we play together and win the Quiddich cup.”

“You won last year! I saw it, you were MARVELOUS!” said Luna.

“I know, but it just wasn’t the same without Harry,” said Ron, “Hell, he didn’t even watch it. Hagrid... pulled them away during the game to ogle some nonsense he come up with. Now he’s stuck in that damn chair and...”

Luna leaned over and held Ron.

“It’s just one damn thing or another that keeps us from playing,” said Ron, “We only had one game together and I was rubbish. I just know that if Harry was out of that chair and back on his broom and on form, not only would we win the Quiddich cup, we’d be the best damn Quiddich team Hogwarts ever saw. Hell, we’d be legend.”

“You’ve held the Quiddich cup for three years in a row,” said Luna, “That has to be legend enough.”

“That doesn’t beat Slytherin’s record,” said Ron, “We didn’t even play for the cup in our fourth year. If Harry was playing, not only would we win the cup, but we’d go undefeated for the whole year. It wouldn’t be a record, going undefeated for only one season, but it would be worth noting. But this is a moot point. Without Harry, we’ll be lucky just to win the Quiddich cup at all.”

Harry pulled away and left up the stairs leaving Hermione behind. Feeling concerned, Hermione called after Harry and when she caught up to him she saw he had a disgusted look on his face.

“Harry?”

“Why did Hagrid have to pull us away from the Quiddich Cup?” Harry said as he almost cried, “That stupid brother of his! Does that oaf honestly think we’re capable of babysitting a great sopping retarded two-footed elephant? What the hell was Hagrid thinking? Ron’s greatest moment and we missed it! That’s not fair! That’s not fair to Ron. He was there every match I ever played, cheering me on.”

“You can’t blame it all on Hagrid, you have to admit, partly the reason why we left was we thought we were going to lose, and it was just too painful to watch,” said Hermione.

“You’re right... dammit, you’re right, and I’m ashamed of that,” said Harry, “We should have had more faith.”

Hermione held Harry as she could see his shame was bringing on depression again.

“Hermione, I want out of this chair,” said Harry.

“Harry, that’s going to take a lot of work,” said Hermione.

“Yes, that’s exactly what it’s going to take,” said Harry as a determined look hit him almost maniacally in the eye, “Starting tomorrow, the vacation’s over. Tomorrow we’re out of bed and having breakfast with the Order, and we spend the day training.”

“We’ve made a lot of progress Harry,” said Hermione.

“It’s not enough!” said Harry, “Not until I’m on my feet. And I’ll tell you what else we should be working on. The basement with it’s incredible stock, we should be making use of it.”

“What do you mean?” asked Hermione.

“I mean it’s time for a little remedial potions,” said Harry, “And you’re going to be the teacher. With Ron, Ginny, and Luna here we can restart the D.A. meetings and we TRAIN. I’ll run the D.A. class, you take charge of potions.”

“Harry, are you worried about passing this year?”

“Stuff the grades!”

“Harry!”

“Hermione, this isn’t about getting better grades or collecting NEWT’s or OWL’s or some other damn thing, this is about becoming better wizards,” said Harry, “The only reasons why we survived the battle at the ministry was because we were saved by wizards with much more experience. We have got to catch up. Just having a few tricks like conjuring a Patronus just wont cut it during a war. We need to train and we need to make ourselves as powerful as possible, then we can face Death Eaters on equal or superior ground.”

“So you want to spend the summer boning up on potions and Dark Arts?” said Hermione.

“Yeah, and we should be working on a few other things too,” said Harry, lost in thought, “I just wish we had someone who could train us in Transfiguration.”

“Harry, you’ve got the best Transfiguration teacher you could ever hope to have right under your roof every day,” said Hermione.

“McGonagall? I’d love to ask her, do you think she’ll have time?” asked Harry.

“Couldn’t hurt. Your plan is brilliant of course," said Hermione, "I definitely agree with not letting thotiootions lab go to waste. I just wish Neville was here to help out with that arboretum."

"Why Neville?" asked Harry.

"He just has a knack for plants, that's all," said Hermione, "He has a real interest in them. And plants of course are where most potion ingredients come from."

"Oh come one, Hermione, he can't know more than you," said Harry, "He fainted in herbology in our second year."

"He also got a better mark," said Hermione.

"No shit? Maybe we should invite him to stay," said Harry.

"I bet he wouldn't mind getting away from that grandmother of his," Hermione speculated.

"Yeah, what the hell is up with her? Crazy old bat dresses like she's trying to scare off Death Eaters," said Harry.

"Maybe it works," said Hermione, "You know, Harry, you have a lot of guest rooms, maybe we can reassemble some of the D.A."

"Hell yes," said Harry, "I'd love to have Dean Thomas or Neville over. Let's write them first thing tomorrow."

"If we have these guest rooms, we should invite Luna and Ron up here so they can... you know... spend the whole night together instead of just sneaking a trist on a rickety cot?" Hermione asked.

"The le rle room right next to ours never gets used," said Harry, "Bring'em up."

Harry had just changed into his pyjamas when he heard Hermione knock on the door asking if he was decent. She had brought Luna and Ron with her and they all sat around the enormous mattress and chatted.

"It's really cracking to be staying at your place, Harry," said Ron as he lay on his stomach next to Luna, "Now that it is your place, anyway. Luna and I never had a chance to be together really. I mean, not for a whole- well there was that one time your father was away and-"

"What's Ron is trying to say is thank you," Luna interrupted, "And your house is really nice. Wicked cool, really."

"We should visit back at the Burrow next year," said Harry.

"What'll be the fun in that?" asked Ron.

"Yeah, no screwing in Weasley house allowed," said Luna.

Everyone cracked up out loud as Ron hit Luna with a pillow and everyone joined in.

Harry beat Luna with a pillow and said, "There’s six brothers and a sister, there's obviously plenty of screwing going on in the Burrow!"

"OH! Me mum and dad! I don't want to think about that!" yelled Ron and he hit Harry back.

Luna started to wrestle with Ron and they fell off the bed. Right after they hit the floor Luna began kissing Ron on the face.

"What are you two doing down there?" asked Hermione.

Ron struggled a little with Luna, then noticed the Connubium Charms book on the desk.

"Oh hey, you got that too?" asked Ron as he lay on the floor with Luna on top of him.

"Yup, it's all mine," said Harry.

"Did you- (Luna, cut it out! That tickles!) ever work out that problem with page 773?" asked Ron.

Harry was having fun kicking his legs (now that he could) on the bed and said, "You have to empty yourself out, first."

"How?"

"You're on your own, there, mate."

Luna held Ron down then pulled her wand out.

"You stick your wand up your shitter and yell SCOURGIFY!"

"Luna! No!"

Ron wrestled with Luna to gain control and took his own wand to perform a tickling spell on Luna.

"Oh yeah, Attrecto," Said Hermione as she pulled out her own wand with a devilish look on her face, "I forgot all about that spell."

"No wait, Hermione! No!"

Harry begged, Hermione tormented. It was not like she needed a spell to tickle Harry Potter to death. Eventually she just dropped the wand pulled Harry's shirt up to make raspberry sounds against his stomach.

"What the bloody hell's going on in here?"

Ginny Weasley was almost a little too good at imitating her mother's voice. After that scare she had to dodge several flying pillows and Attrecto spells fired at her.

"Ginny you RAT!" Ron called out.

"Takes one to know one!" Ginny called out as she laughed and giggled down the stairs.

"I say we drag her back in here, hold her down and perform the Attrecto spell on her until she bursts," said Harry.

"You don't want to get into an Attrecto dual with Ginny," Ron warned, "She made me wet my pyjamas once."

"Yeah, and she has wicked good aim, too," said Luna, "Because one time when she visited me in Ravenclaw, well... uhm.."

"Just what do you girls do in Ravenclaw, anyway?" asked Ron.

"Strip to bra and panties every night and have a tickle fight," said Luna.

Ron and Harry just glanced at each other.

"Well... now we know why the entrance to the girl's dormitory is rigged to expel boys," said Harry.

"Yeah, wicked, I'd sure like to see some of that action!" said Ron.

Luna, smirked, then started to take off her pyjamas until all she had on was a bra and her panties.

"Step aside, Harry, make room," said Luna.

Harry crawled off the bed with a look of disbelief on his face as Hermione was wondering what Luna was up to. She tried to fend Luna off with a pillow as Luna began to wrestle with her on the bed and started pulling Hermione's shirt and pants off.

"Oh! You! I'll get you for that!" said Hermione.

Hermione wrestled back and the two shrieked and struggled on the bed until Hermione herself was stripped down to just a bra and panties. Harry and Ron just sat on the floor and stared at the bed dumbfounded.

"This O COO COOL," said Ron.

"Too right, mate," said Harry.

"Hermione has uhh.. quite the rack," noticed Ron.

"Yeah, well, Luna's a bit of a page three herself," said Harry.

"You think?"

"Oh yeah."

"Bit of a surprise when she first stuck my hand up her robes," said Ron.

"I'll bet it was," said Harry.

When they were through wrestling, the two half naked girls crawled to the edge of the bed facing Ron and Harry and held onto the bedposts like a couple of strippers.

"What did you think of THAT?" asked Hermione.

Ron and Harry just looked at each other for a second, then Harry said, "We.. uhh. we have to have sex with you. NOW."

"Yeah, now. Right now," said Ron.

Ron grabbed a wench, threw her over his shoulder, and ran off with her. Then brought her right back as he realized he grabbed Hermione by mistake.

"Sorry about that," said Ron and he picked up Luna.

As Luna was carried away she said, "Aww, you made me think we were going to trade for tonight."

Once the door to the guest room was closed, Harry and Hermione sat on the bed, looked at each other and mouthed simultaneously, "Trade for tonight?"

"You think she meant that?" asked Harry.

"Luna's a party gal," said Hermione as she tugged at her bra, "She tried to unbuckle this a few times."

"Well that would have been a treat for Ron," said Harry, "He says you have 'quite the rack'."

"Did he now?" said Hermione, "Well he should now his girlfriend, has a gorgeous ass like a super model."

"I saw it," said Harry.

Hermione made growling sounds and snapped her teeth at Harry.

"Did that get you all riled?" asked Hermione.

Harry forced Hermione down and molested her aggressively. Only for a moment he checked to make sure the bedroom door to the hall was closed as he didn't want any more surprises from Ginny. If he looked closer, Harry would have noticed that Ginny left behind her music player right by the edge of the door. Ginny explained to Hermione that it was used to replay sounds, but what she didn't explain was it and the head phones were magicked to work as a subversive listening device.
Ginny was laying down on her bed in the guest room with her headphones on, stripped down her underwear and lying exposed on top of the sheets. The headphones could hear Harry and Hermione's passionate cries perfectly. With her fingers inside her panties, Ginny was masturbating as hard as she could, fondling her little breasts and getting off as best she could. Little cries of frustrated virgin desperation came from her as she approached climax. She wanted more than anything to be in Hermione's place and have Harry inside her, or even join the both of them in bed and have turns at each other, anything, she just wanted to have sex.