The Diary

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Severus and Hermione walked in to dinner together, both dressed in black, but with Hermione’s charcoal cape on her shoulders. True to his word, Snape had not let her leave alone; when she went to get changed into her formal robes for the Sorting Ceremony, he had gone to her rooms with her, and had sat in her study while she changed. Crookshanks had stood guard over the study, ensuring that the black garbed stranger didn’t commit any heinous acts while Hermione got changed.

The walked he Hhe Head Table together, and both of them noticed the smile playing across the headmaster’s face, as well as the slight nod that he gave them both. “Damn him. I know he’s behind this,” Snape whispered to Hermione when he saw Dumbledore’s face.

She nodded slowly, as she processed that idea. Having to interview with Snape for the apprenticeship, the invitation to come back to teach… It was possible. Oh Odin, it was possible that the headmaster had had some hand in this. Someone had to have sent the diary… But why? What possible motive could he have had? A headmaster who tried to set up his students with his faculty in that sort of a relationship was a headmaster who didn’t like his career much.

But, it sort of made sense… No one else had ever mentioned anything to her, and if it the diary had come from someone intending to cause problems, someone would have mentioned something, somewhere – either in trying to blackmail her, or discredit Severus or something. Only Dumbledore would have keep completely quiet…

Hermione watched the Sorting Ceremony with only partial detachment; she didn’t have an official house affiliation any more, but she couldn’t help smiling when students were sorted into Gryffindor. Just as she couldn’t help giving sideways glances to Severus when students were sorted in to Slytherin.

As dinner progressed, Hermione got to thinking more about the diary, and about Severus’ kisses in his study earlier in the day. Maybe she really had over-reacted. Sure, it felt like an invasion of her privacy to know that Snape had read her diary, but he had never mentioned it to her while she was a student, and he had never used information from the diary against her. Well, not directly. He haden oen out his frustrations on her, but he had never tried to embarrass her with her own words. He had actually been pretty circumspect about it alo sno snide comments, no wielding her writing as a weapon to be used against her… And did it really matter, now? Over 5 years later?

She sighed. Although, maybe he had approached her today, because he thought that she might be ‘easy’. But, deep down, she knew he hadn’t. They had spent a lot of time together, and she really had enjoyed the time she spent with him. Their relationship had progressed naturally; if he had wanted to use that diary nst nst her, he would have had ample opportunity before today.

Severus casually looked over at Hermione, sitting on his right. Damn. He had really screwed things up today. One little word. ‘Too.’ He had almost destroyed the fragile friendship, and he hlmoslmost certainly destroyed the even more fragile physical relationship that had been developing. All because of one little word. Damn. He had meant what he said later, though. He wasn’t going to let her just walk away this time. He had been beating himself up for years over not kissing her in his office that day, and he had sworn that if he ever got another opportunity to kiss her – one where she really wanted him to kiss her – that he wasn’t going to let her just walk away.

He was suddenly certain that the diary had come from Dumbledore. The look that Dumbledore had given the two of them when they walked in convinced him the diary had come from Dumbledore. But still, maybe the headmaster really did know what he was doing. After all, it hiveniven him a whole new view of Hermione, and while maybe he might have seen that side of her, eventually, it gave him a little more faith that maybe his actions wouldn’t be turned away. He sighed. He wasn’t sure that he would have approached Hermione on a physical level if he hadn’t had some assurance that she wanted him – or had found him attractive at some point, in some way. Not used to opening up to people, he didn’t think he would have even tried if he hadn’t had a sense that she wouldn’t attack him the minute he let down his guard.

But damn. He had fucked things up today, hadn’t he?

Hermione glanced back at him. Damn. The man had finally started to open up with her, and she had just blasted their fledgling relationship out of the water, over something that really wasn’t that big a deal – at least not any more. Judging his interactions with other faculty members, she doubted that he had opened up to anyone else, other than possibly Dumbledore, and even with him Severus seemed a little guarded. So what if he had read the diary? And he was right; it would have been even worse if he had approached her with it when she was a student. That thought was absolutely mortifying. And, she had to admit, he did kiss much better in person than he did in her dreams. And if that was the case, well, surely, he’d do other things better, too, she mused, with a half-smile on her face.

She took a breath and counseled herself. “Okay, Granger. This is silly. Before dinner is over, and both of you revert back to your silent, introverted ways, and you become nothing more than nodding acquaintances, talk to the man.”

Taking a breath, she leaned over and whispered to Severus, “I’m sorry. Maybe I over-reacted a teensy bit. Let’s talk after dinner.”

He looked over at her, with a look of surprise on his face. Thank the gods! He patted her on the arm, and treated Hogwarts to the first smile Severus Snape had ever delivered in the Great Hall. “Thank you. I’ll make it up to you – I promise.”

Dumbledore watched them leave together after dinner. The obvious tension between that existed when they walked in was still there, although greatly diminished. He smiled. Stubborn children. Both of them. That’s why he had sent the diary when he had. He knew Severus was too professional to take liberties with a student, but he also knew thaveruverus had to understand what type of person Hermione was. And, he sighed, Severus needed a little encouragement to understand that someone could find him desirable. Severus had made some mistakes in his life, but that didn’t mean that he shouldn’t be able to find some happiness. And as Her Hermione? Well, he may have had a hand in ‘encouraging’ her first dream of Severus, but the rest of the dreams? That was all Hermione. Not that he’d ever let eithf thf them know.