What are big brothers for

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters are property of respectable J. K. Rowling.
(I\'m just messing around with them.)
*holy mother of Merlin* - belongs to LunaRiddle
Warning: incest ahead!
Note: text between slashes indicates thoughts, dreams or daydreaming



What are big brothers for


Chapter thirteen


*****

Don\'t try to fix me I\'m not broken
Hello I\'m the lie living for you so you can hide
Don\'t cry

Suddenly I know I\'m not sleeping
Hello I\'m still here
All that\'s left of yesterday

Evanescence (Hello)


*****

Bill sat down on his bed and felt waves of searing pain behind his forehead. He wanted to forget everything, to put it all behind. When did he fuck up his life so much? It all began with a kiss lesson, he massaged his temples in order to scrutinize his pain. He should have stopped right there. But no - he couldn\'t cut sleeping with Ginny, she was just too enticing. He was too rough on her for a while, yet he didn\'t want to think why. The answer was that he was frustrated with all the hiding and secrets and... he used Ginny as his punching bag. He catalyzed his hidden frustration through her, slamming in her lean body as it would be all her fault. What a monster he became?!
Not to speak of Malfoy - how could he be tempted by that old pervert and let Lucius touch him?
/I\'m mental/ sighed Bill. He was in Malfoy\'s bed, holy er oer of Merlin! He was almost doing it with that sick pervert and as this wouldn\'t suffice an underage prostitute gave him a blow job! /How lower can you go, Weasley?/ asked Bill himself bitterly.

It was his last chance to make a clear cut - he had to be fair to Ginny, his family and himself. He made a promise to Fred and to himself. No more monkey business. Bill pulled his shirt down and threw it on the floor. He needed a hot shower badly. But he couldn\'t force himself to leave the soft bed and go all the way through the corridor to the bathroom.

Bill looked up to the ceiling and repeated the promises he wanted to keep.
/First, control your zipper, second, make Ginny get tired of you, make her think you\'re a jerk (that shouldn\'t be too hard) without hurting her much, third, focus your energy on your work, nail as much Death Eaters as you can and there will certainly be someone who can bring Malfoy prick down and finally, start it now, no more excuses./

Bill dropped down on his bed and closed his eyes when the soft noise of door being open and closed disturbed him.

\"Hi, you\'re late,\" whispered Ginny and climbed in his bed. Bill didn\'t know what to do - he stiffed and tried to recollect himself. After she straddled his hips she lowered her head and kissed him.

\"I missed you,\" she whispered and kissed along his jaw line. Bill felt pretty stupid not responding to her loving ministrations but he had to stick to his *brilliant* plan.

\"Is something wrong?\" Ginny noticed his odd non-responsiveness and lifted her head.

\"I\'m just worn out,\" he retorted, hoping that his embarrassed expression could be mistaken for a fairly exhausted one, it was twilight after all. But when he yawned he felt even more stupid and theatrical. What a git, he was mad at himself.

Ginny sent him a quizzical glance. Well, he *did* look pretty exhausted, his eyes reddish and gray shadows under his eyes.

\"You look devastated,\" she put her hand on his cheek. \"Mum\'s right, you work too much and me, I don\'t grant you a peaceful night, do I?\" she smiled wickedly and meekly. Bill almost choked as this sudden gush of love he felt for her sprang to life inside his chest. It could be only her, this amazing and beautiful Ginny, than could be both so seducing and shy at the same time. By Merlin, how much he loved this girl! She must had seen his earnest desire because she kissed him again and said in small voice.

\"Nighty night! I\'ll leave you alone to nap,\" Bill had to struggle hard inside his head not to postpone his plan and make love to her till his limbs trembled from the real exhaustion.

\"OK, Good night!\" he kissed her cheek and turned his beck to her, pretending that he had already fallen asleep. He heard Ginny watching him for a long moment so he forced himself to breathe steady like in a sleep, before she slipped down the bed and left him alone. It wasn\'t until then when Bill let a groan escape his throat and he reached for the bulge in his pants. He pushed his hand behind his waist and wrapped his fingers around the throbbing erection. He fisted the swollen length, pushing through the ring of hingerngers, his thumb rubbing along the top of the rigid shaft, milky essence slicking his hand. He was picturing Ginny\'s small body, riding him wildly, begging him for more... Bill came hard in his palm, panting, his lips open in ecstasy, his head light and his once tensed body spent. He put his arm under his pillow and soon sank into dreamless sleep.


*****

Ginny returned to her room slightly irritated - she wanted Bill badly, she was waiting on him, she took a bath to smell like vanilla because it was his favorite fragrance. Nothing happened though. He was too tired - Ginny was tossing and turning in her bed. Well, he might be better tomorrow, she thought and it made her more relaxed. /He loves me, I know that, so stop worrying you.. stupid git!/ Ginny talked to herself.

*****

Ginny woke up early next morning and left her bed with intention to spend some time with Bill. When she sneaked in his room at the first traces of pinkish dawn she found it empty. No sign of Bill in the bathroom either, she raised her eyebrow. Where did he go? And why? Some Voldemort emergency?

She brushed her teeth while thinking wildly about the possibilities that could demand Bill\'s immediate attention before seven o\'clock in the morning. Then Ginny went downstairs to help Mrs Weasley with preparations for breakfast breakfast.

\"My, you\'re early! Where\'s Bill? Still sleeping?\" asked her mum while setting the table. Ginny shrugged with her shoulders like it wasn\'t of her concern. Soon Mr Weasley stumbled down the stairs cursing under breath about silly robes he had to wear to his work.

\"I would rather strangle myself with that muggle tie thing,\" he nagged until he filled his mouth with fried bacon and tomatoes, that made him look like a hamster with glasses.

Right in the middle of the breakfast Bill burst in the kitchen, covered with sweat and panting.

\"Where have you been?\" asked Ginny impatiently before Mrs Weasley could open her mouth.

\"Yes, Bill. Where?\" repeated his mum the question.

\"Running - it\'s a part of the job, I\'m supposed to be fitter than I already am. Sitting behind the desk at previous job didn\'t improve my strength,\" he explained it, grabbed Ginny\'s glass and drank her pumpkin juice in one big gulp.

\"Bill!!!\" screamed Ginny and Mrs Weasley together. He smiled and wiped his mouth in his sleeve.

\"Been thirsty, very thirsty,\" he grinned and jogged up the stairs.

\"What about breakfast Mr Caveman!\" yelled Mrs Weasley.

\"After a quick shower!\" his voice floated down the stairs.

Bill soaped himself and whistled while he rinsed himself and thought that physical exercise helps with the hormones and libido that are out of control. He dressed and dried his hair with a useful spell. Then he hurried to the kitchen and ate a plate full of fried tomatoes and bacon.

\"Gotta rush,\" he kissed his mom and aimed to do the same to Ginny who avoided him. She was angry at him. He knew it - his plan was surprisingly working. He shrugged his shoulders and apparated to the Ministry with his father.


*****

Bill returned to the Burrows just before midnight and went straight to bed. Ginny heard him but didn\'t come to his room because she was still mad at him. He collapsed in his bed and sleep till the rays of sun woke him up.

Bill lazily opened his eyes and suddenly realized that he was late for work. He pulled his nearest pants up and the T-shirt that hung from the chair. He put on his snickers and rushed to the bathroom. When he arrived in the kitchen it was already abandoned save for Ginny who was leisurely sipping pumpkin juice and reading the Daily Prophet.

\"Where\'s dad?\" he asked a bit out of breath and served himselth fth few toasts while looking for coffee.

\"He said at the dinner that he and mum were to go and see the twins... oh, right, you weren\'t at the dinner,\" Ginny smiled sweetly and returned her attention to the newspaper.

\"You could wake me,\" Bill looked at her a tad annoyed. Was that her revenge? Probably yes. He sighed. Well, the sooner he gets used to her pranks the better. He couldn\'t blame her though.

\"I thought you need your nap, being tired and all,\" Ginny didn\'t lift her gaze to look at him.

\"Thanks,\" Bill retorted sarcastically.

\"Anytime,\" she snapped.

Bill left the Burrows feeling irritated because his plan was working better than he ever imagined. Ginny was good at this *eye for an eye* business. He expected tears and pleas not this. Did he misjudge her? His sweet little Ginny? Neh, she never was sweet little Ginny in the first place. She was one of the Weasle boy boys, raised side by side with Fred and George which provided her with all kind of tricks but also with self-esteem and strong feeling of loyalty and honesty. She wasn\'t an unsecured child, she was young woman with clear mind. Good for her, thought Bill bitterly as he walked down the hall to his office.


*****

Ginny had soon noticed (which confused her) that Bill was somehow drifting away from her. He stayed longer at his office, he worked over-time, working also weekends, coming home late and completely exhausted therefore he went straight to bed. did didn\'t talk like they used to and after few nights that she spent alone in her bed she realized that it had been more than a week since they had slept together.

She put on her brave face but she was very confused inside. To be honest, Bill was one of the things she lived for, he was the most important thing she lived for, and never mind how pathetic it sounded it was the simple truth.

/Did I do something wrong I don\'t know,/ she wondered by herself. /Maybe because I didn\'t wake him up last week?/ But Bill didn\'t seem angry or anything he was just tired. He wasn\'t only working over-time, he also worked out in the gym like mad, making everyone think that all he wants is to nail Voldemort\'s minions.

Bill was still getting up early and running few miles just to stop thinking about Ginny. It might had been an act of a coward but he was convinced that this way would hurt her less than the disclosure of everything else would. When she would get tired of him he might tell her some of the story. But not now. Not right now. Bill was pushing himself to the very limits, every night he dropped dead of exhaustion and fell asleep even before his head hit the pillow. But not even the complete exhaustion could prevent the dreams that came to him when he was lying there helpless at nigh.

Ginny\'s warm skin, smell of her hair, her even breathing and the curves of her body... he missed her so much that he would go mad if it wasn\'t for being completely occupied with his work and practice.

*****

Ginny couldn\'t sleep at night - she kept thinking about Bill. It wasn\'t angry at her or something. He was nice and funny when they share few words, but he was so... brother like. His gazes were warm yet they lack passion that used to dwell there. Was it because he was so tired? Ginny had finally decided that she would go to him and ask him about his changed behavior towards her.

She got up and opened the door, listening whether their parents were sleeping. Yes, Mr Weasley\'s snoring was quite obvious. She tiptoed to the door that led to Bill\'s room. she was barefoot to be as quiet as possible. Her heart was fluttering against her chest as she turned the knob and opened the door. Moment of truth was nearing and she still didn\'t know if she wanted to hear what he had to explain to her. it took her a fortnight\'s fight with her pride where she won to come to Bill. She stopped before the bed and listened to his even breathing then she gathered all of her courage and climbed in the bed.

She nestled herself behind his back and leaned her head on his cheek.

\"Bill,\" she whispered in his ears. \"Bill!\"

\"Ehm?...\" Bill grunted and yawned. He slowly turned over so that he was facing her. Ginny\'s pale skin shone in moonlight, her eyes seemed dark, smell of vanilla vaporizing from every inch of her smooth skin. \"Ginny?\" he sounded surprised.

\"Were you expecting someone else?\" asked she.

\"Nope,\" answered he and felt her pliant mouth on his. He felt sudden rush of lust rocking through his veins and pushed his tongue in her mouth, finding her tongue and sucking greedily on it. Ginny moaned, completely forgot why she came to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to pull him closer. Bill\'s hand sneaked under her T-shirt and cupped herm brm breast, rubbing her nipple till it hardened. Ginny\'s breathing labored and she wrapped her legs around Bill\'s waist urging him to take off his clothes.

Bill suddenly got struck - he was about to fuck Ginny despite his solemn promises and almost two weeks\' self-control. Bill withdrew his mouth and looked in her eyes, apologizing in sleepy voice.
\"Sorry, Ginny, I\'m too exhausted. We have been chasing some Death Eaters all across the country.\" Then he yawned not only bse hse he was tired but also because he was nervous. He thanked the fact that he had jacked off while having a shower. Otherwise he would peeled her shirt off and plunged into her hot, tight body in no time.

She couldn\'t say a word without crying so she waited for a moment to recollect herself.
\"It\'s OK, I just want to be near you,\" whispered Ginny and smuggher her head between his cheek and shoulder. He was warm and smelt good - it felt comfortable and safe but why she felt like crying her heart out? When he fell asleep Ginny clang to his warm chest and breathed the same familiar scent of him. What was wrong? What changed him? Or did every relationship grow in a thing called *Status Quo*. She was not experienced enoug tel tell, furthermore, there was no one she could ask.

What if all guys were like that? Getting fed with one woman only. Maybe Bill was getting tired of her? Maybe she wasn\'t good enough in bed? He was pretty rough on her for some time but at that time it seemed that he couldn\'t get enough of her. After the twin\'s party he became more tender and back there in bath tube was pure bliss. Just before she hit the floor. /Why he doesn\'t want me anymore? Is it something I sad? But we scarcely spoke... I didn\'t gain any weight, so?/

Ginny was well aware that with Bill it wasn\'t only looks - if he would go for look only he would be with someone like Fleur. Was she too dumb for him? It was true that they never talked about his job, but he never showed any intention to talk about it. Could it be that he had realized that she\'s just a little sis and has nothing to offer, except tolerable sex?

Ginny refused to believe that but the emotions overwhelmed her therefore she hid her face in the pillow and cried silently, her tears soaking the material of the pillow and Bill\'s shirt.

Bill felt her trembling and muffed sobs, her body shivering in his arms, that\'s when he finally found enough strength to pull her closer and comforted her.

\"What\'s wrong, kiddo?\" he stroke her hair and kissed her forehead. Ginny felt that *kiddo* as a stab with the knife. She hated herself because she was too weak to break their hug and left for her room.

Bill drove lazy circles on her back, trying to soothe her. It felt like being damned; he needed her so bad that it hurt yet he had to be strong for both of them. It was less painful that his confession would be. /Maybe, just maybe too too cowardly to explain everything to her, I don\'t want her to hate me. Let her forget me and forget what we had. But don\'t hate me, Ginny. Don\'t hate me, because I hate myself for both of us... I should move away, far away, soon, as I thought after I promised Fred./

He was wrong, wrong all the way. What was he thinking when he started a relationship with his younger sister? There was no excuse for such a behavior. He can only hope that Ginny won\'t suffer any grave consequences and can find a right man for herself. And at that time he wouldn\'t bear it - he had to move as far as possible. Maybe Egypt again or Far East this time. But he was bitterly realizing that there\'s no such place on Earth where he could forget Ginny. He will be without her but thinking of her every spare moment. That\'s why he had to work so long and so hard.

\"I\'m sorry Ginny,\" he said suddenly, holding her too tight. \"You can hate me,\" he conti. \". \"I will understand...\"

\"I couldn\'t hate you even if I tried..., Bill,\" she was clinging to him like her life would depend on this particular hug.

He felt his heart falling apart, piece by piece torn and bleeding. /Leave her alone, you owe her at least this little./

Ginny stopped crying and even managed to fall asleep. Bill on the other hand couldn\'t sleep. His head threatened to explode because it was full of painful thoughts and serious doubts about his grand plan.


*****

The next morning, when she woke up in Bill\'s bed alone it hit Ginny what happened between her and Bill - they grew apart because of his work. To be honest - it was Bill who had grown apart. He didn\'t seem to care about them anymore, at least not more than he cared about Voldemort and his minions.

Ginny tried to understand but failed every time. Yes, being an Auror was of high importance - they were defending the wizardry community from the Death Eaters. But why she didn\'t ma any anymore? Was the world of greater importance? Maybe she was selfish and immature but she always thought that their love was something special. It felt so damn right. Not to Bill, apparently.

After the night when she cried in his bed they haven\'t talked yet. Ginny stopped coming to his bed and they have scarcely spoke past few days. They never said that everything was over between them but Ginny felt that something died.
It actually felt like there was a dead body between them. She didn\'t want to impose herself to him although she was biting her knuckles in the silent, insomniac nights till they bleed because she needed Bill so badly her whole body was in pain. She was fighting so much not to go to him and look like nothing happened while they were eating.

*****

Ginny closed her eyes and tried to catch some more pleasant dreams she had about Bill. She missed him that it felt like a deep cut in her chest.
She could go to him and he might have slept with her. But if he slept with her out of sympathy or mercy she would die of shame. It was even more frustrating because she knew he would sleep with her if she came to his bed and beg. And she craved so much to be touched by his warm hands, to feel his weight pressing her down, his lips on her skin and his words \'I need you Ginny\'. That was all she had been living for. Why to live when she doesn\'t have a reason anymore?
She decided to stay in bed today to avoid bidding farewell to Bill as he was to leave for three days to have some special training. He announced the news yesterday, while they had dinner.

\"Poor Ginny, now that you\'re gone, and while Ron, Hermione and Harry are still in Romania she will be lonely. You can invite some friend over if you want to,\" Mrs Weasley worried.

\"I\'m fine mum, itl bel be nice to spend some time with myself,\" Ginny faked a smile that hurt her.

\"Anyway, I can still go to see Fred and George in London,\" said Ginny casually.

\"Well, they don\'t influence good upon you,\" opposed Mrs Weasley but soon changed her mind. \"On the other hand - you could influence upon them, that\'s a good idea.\"

Ginny couldn\'t help herself not to peek through the window as Bill went to the car where Kingsley was waiting for him. When he turned back toward the house Ginny moved behind the curtain. The lines in his face hardened, he looked emotionless and unconcerned. And older. Did work do that to him? His eyes were cold and his lips tightened in a slash. How she wished to run to him, punching him and hitting till he would tell her what was wrong.


*****


\"Not feeling well,\" Ginny mumbled as her mother came to call her for dinner. \"I\'m not hungry.\"

The same thing had been repeating for three days, even the night when Bill returned.

\"But honey you haven\'t been eating properly for the whole week. I shall take you to St. Mungo\'s in the morning,\" Mrs Weasley sounded serious. Ginny turned her back to her mum and closed her eyes.

Mrs. Weasley climbed down the stair and called Bill.
\"She listens to you more than she does to me, please talk to her and take her to the doctor tomorrow morning if necessary, I\'m worried about her a great deal. ink ink that she might be anorexic, she is all skin and bones.\"

\"I will, calm down, mum,\" Bill assured her and kissed her cheek. \"It\'s the age you know. We are all boys, we almost destroyed the house but girls like to destroy themselves. I will help her, don\'t worry.\"

\"I hope so,\" Mrs. Weasley retorted with worries in her eyes. \"You are a good boy, Billy,\" she patted him lightly on his cheek. Bill never thought that it can hurt as a stab in his heart. Good boy, yea.


*****


\"Hey,\" said Bill as he came in Ginny\'s room.

\"Hi,\" retorted Ginny without lifting her gaze. Her hair were a mess, she wore Ron\'s old sweater and she was reading some book.

Bill sat down and looked at her.

\"Mum says you don\'t eat,\" he watched her intently. \"She worries a lot... and so do I.\"

\"I don\'t feel like eating all that greasy food while I have cramps,\" explained Ginny lamely.

\"For a week?\" asked Bill matter-of-factly.

\"It\'s my period, so I assume that I know best for my body,\" she sounded more harsh than she intended.

Yes, anger, here we are, sighed Bill. She is a teenager after all.

/Now he thinks how immature I act... damn! Why can\'t I act so cool like nothing happened at all? I\'m so mad at him but I love him more than anything. Why he doesn\'t want me anymore? Is it because of his work or ... or because he had found someone that is not his relative... pre prettier and elegant... I should at least brush my hair, I look a state... I never dressed up for him.../

Bill noticed that Ginny was staring somewhere beyond, probably thinking what a nosy prick he was after all. He didn\'t want to see her sad, anger could be much more constructive feeling than sadness.

\"I\'m fine - go tell mum to stop worrying. I\'ll have some soup for dinner but nothing more,\" she directed her attention back to her book and focused on the text although she was tense waiting for Bill to respond. He stood there deciding what to do - he should tell her everything. Now, right now... but the moment passed.

Ginny heard the click that door made when Bill closed the door. /Fine! I\'ll forget you too, Dean can come over... no, I\'ll go to London and meet Dean!/

Ginny grabbed her pen and little piece of parchment to write a short letter to Dean.


*****


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Author\'s note:

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1) Thanks for feedback -


SkyDunsmore - yea, I know that I need a beta ;)
Talene - here\'s more
Observer - I know, people hate Lucius, but this chap is malfoyless
Aideen - so, here we go - no Lucius today!
Nurisa - easy? Spanish? Kidding? :)

2)

I\'m sorry for delay but family emergency took all of my free time and strength plus I had one almost-but-not-quite beta. Therefore, for all silly mistakes you find in the text blame me!

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