What Does This Feeling Mean

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Twelve - Help, Kisses, and a Raven

I awoke the next morning feeling very refreshed. Not just from my overall mood, but because I had left my window open, and it had rained. I put on my robe and went to feel the crisp air that was entering my room. The castle grounds and foliage were drenched in near freezing water, and a light drizzle made sure it would stay that way. I inhaled the moist, cool smells in the air and smiled. Before I closed my window, I noticed Mystic flapping my way. I stood to the side, and he flew in and landed on his perch. He was soaked to the bone. I got my wand from my night stand and pointed it at Mystic.

"Ventulus," I said, and my wand started blowing warm air from the tip. Mystic opened his wings and turned around a few times before he was completely dry. He hooted gratefully to me and tugged at a letter he had tied to his leg. I removed it, and sat on my bed to read it.


Jewel,


That's wonderful that Albus is going to throw you a party! Your grandfather has already told us about your dress, and he has been informed to take lots of pictures to send to us! Have lots of fun, as I'm sure you will.

Your father and I are going to go to Paris for Christmas, so if you would like to come along, let us know. Of course, we don't mind if you would like to stay at Hogwarts.


We love you,

Mom and Dad


I took out my quill and some parchment, and wrote my letter back. As much as I would've loved to go to Paris with my folks, I really enjoyed my freedom here. I also figured that my parents could use a vacation by themselves, considering it would be the first time since I was born. I finished my letter and set it aside. I would send it off when Mystic recovered for the day.

I went to the side of my bed and took out two vials of my potion. One I drank, and the other to put on my person, just in case. I took a quick shower, and dressed in a black sweater, jeans, and my ever present black gloves. I opened my door to another beautiful rose at my feet. I picked it up and read my note for the day. I removed the note, and used my wand to cut the stem of the flower a bit. I went to my dresser mirror, and placed the rose in my hair with a simple freeze charm, to make sure it wouldn't fall out. Satisfied, I made my way to the common room, and stepped out of the Ravenclaw portrait.

As I took my second step out of the room, I was suddenly grabbed and dipped. My lips soon let me know that I was in the clutches of a Malfoy. I put my hand on the back of his head to return my surprise kiss. As he stopped, he stayed close to my face.

"Good morning," I said smiling.

"It wasn't good until now," he grinned, spinning me back to an upright position.

I looked behind Draco to see his constant group of friends lining the wall. The usual suspects of Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy. I had originally called the two boys Vincent and Gregory, but it seemed they only responded to their last names. Creatures of habit, I guess.

"Hey Pansy!" I said as I hugged her. She was still as rude as they come, but ever since our first reading together, she had become very protective of me.

"So you got yourself the ferret, oh I mean Malfoy," she said giving Draco one of her usual looks. She roughly pulled me down so she could talk in my ear. "If he does anything to hurt you, you let me know." She gave me a serious look, and I winked my eye, trying not to laugh.

"Of course Pansy," I stated in a quiet, but serious tone. "I wouldn't go to anyone else." She nodded, and finally took her grip off my shoulder.

"Hello Crabbe. Goyle. Staying out of trouble?" They grinned sheepishly while Goyle shook his head no, and Crabbe nodded his head yes.

We all went to the hall for breakfast, and I sat with the Slytherins. A few people from the table started to question my being there, but a quick look from Draco and Pansy made sure that no more was said. When I had finished, I glanced over to the Gryffindor table. I must have known to look at that time, because Ron was waving to get my attention. Draco saw this too.

"You're not going over there are you? Damn them, they probably want to get you away from me. Jewel, whatever they have told you, it isn't true!" His voice became louder with each word. I stopped him from saying any more with a quick peck on his lips.

"Draco, they are my friends, and I am going to go see what they want. Besides, I know for a fact that some of it is true," I teased. I looked over again, and realized that Hermione wasn't there. I turned back to Draco and kissed his forehead. "It shouldn't take long, but you can go ahead without me."

"I'll be waiting for you in the courtyard. Don't be too long, I wanted to talk to you today, alone," he expressed in a low hush.

I smiled at his eagerness. "And you will."

As I walked towards Ron, I sensed nothing serious, but it was about Hermione.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's Hermione. She's doing it again. She was up all night in the common room, and she said she would meet us here after she stopped by the library," Ron groaned.

"She heard that there was going to be a quiz or something in one of our classes on Monday," Harry intersected after Ron. "It was just a rumor, but since she doesn't know which class the quiz is going to be in, she's cramming for everything."

Ron continued. "She won't listen to us. We thought you might be able to talk to her. She needs to eat, and get some sleep."

I smirked a little at Ron. "She's not a very nice person to be around when she gets like this, huh?" I was answered immediately with the exaggerated shaking of heads. "I'll go talk to her, don't worry."

I was positive that she was still in the library. Once there, I finally found her near the back with her nose buried in a book of Charms. I stood where she could plainly see me had she looked, but she never budged.

"Hermione!" She jumped in her seat and it took a second for her to realize that it was me. "Hermione, what are you doing?"

"Oh," she sighed, clearly fatigued from her all nighter. "I was, um, rather I am, studying for a quiz."

"A quiz? For which class?" She certified her answer by remaining silent. I grabbed a chair and sat next to her. "Hermione, we talked about this. It doesn't matter how much you shove into your brain if you don't give it time to sink in. You need rest."

"I know that's what you said, but I still feel like I have to do this," she said with a tone that contradicted her argument.

"You know, as smart as you are, It's hard to believe that you can't see how this affects you. You are starving, I'm sure; plus you're tired, weak, and will lose most of the information you've researched because of it! Come on," I sighed as I took her by the arm, and walked with her slowly toward her common room. As we passed the hall, Ron and Harry saw us, and stepped in to help once they grasped what was going on. Ron put her now limp arm around him, and said he'd take her the rest of the way.

"I'm sorry Jewel," Hermione sadly expressed. "I did work on letting myself rest when I study too hard."

I smiled. "It's not your fault. Trying to alter a lifelong habit is tough for anyone. Just remember, you have to give your mind time to process what you tell it to learn. Let me ask you this. Have you ever been drifting heavily to sleep, and then suddenly, right before you doze off, you think of something that's pure genius? It's the greatest, smartest idea you have ever had, and as usual, you lose the thought through the final steps of falling asleep?"

"Actually..." she thought to herself.

"Oh, I've done that. I had a great idea one time, and it slowly drifted away as I tried to stay awake. I remember that more than what the thought was in the first place. I was going to be rich," Ron said, now upset.

"That's just what the brain sometimes does in a very relaxed state, and I'd say this is far from it." I looked at Hermione. "Get some sleep, and start doing the relaxation and awareness exercises I taught you. Every half hour you study, you stop and do the exercises, and do it until it becomes habit. Got it?"

"Yes Jewel."

Ron walked her down to the end of the hall, and made the turn to their common room.

"Thanks Jewel. She has always studied hard, but I've never seen her go to such extremes like that," Harry stated before heading after them.

"She has come a long way, and you guys have helped her most of all. She just relapsed into an old addiction. She'll be fine."

I left Harry, and walked outside to the courtyard. The rain soaked air filled my lungs as I spotted Draco on the opposite end.

"I know you're biting your tongue," I said as I got close enough to notice him grimacing. "Go ahead and say what you want to say."

"I can't do that in front of you!"

"Why not?"

"Because..."

"Because you don't want me to see that side of you?"

"Well, yes," his cheeks were starting to turn a little red. As impulsive as he was, he struggled to control his need to make his select comments.

"Draco."

"What?!"

"Let it OUT!!" I screamed.

Finally, he growled and released his suppression. His enraged words blurred together in long breaths with a few choice obscenities. Some familiar names were clearly mentioned, and he settled his outburst with one last word, stupid.

"Feel better?" I asked as the normal color returned to his face.

"Yes, you win, much better," he replied taking a hold of my hand. "Come on, let's walk."

We left the courtyard, and started walking along the outside of the castle. Draco had become quiet as we walked, so I shook my hand in his to let him know that I had noticed.

"Why do you like me?" he asked out of the blue.

"Why?"

"Yes. How can a girl like you, be interested in a guy like me?"

"As in, how can I possibly like the undeserving, horrible person that you think you are?"

"That I know I am."

"Bullshit," I snapped. He looked at my intent face with a hint of shock. "I see the strong, smart, kind person you are. I don't see the person you have advertised as Malfoy. I just see you Draco," I said as I squeezed his hand. "Remember when I first met you?"

He snorted. "Yeah, great first impression."

"Well, you were with your father that day. He has a strong power over you. You respect him, and as proud as you are to be a Malfoy, you hold a lot of aggression towards him. I saw that when I first saw you."

"So you thought I was weak?"

"Of course not!" I said smacking his arm lightly. "I sensed your father all around you. It was hard to see the real you with him around, but I did notice something about you that has stayed with me."

"And what was that?"

"Your eyes."

"My eyes?"

"Oh yes, the windows to the soul. Your eyes were cold that day, very distant, like you closed the window. I adore them now that you have opened them for me. Your father's, however, were frozen shut. I remember trying to fall to sleep that night, and seeing your eyes again, along with your father's."

"He's been like that for as long as I can remember. Distant, secretive, but he's always there for me when I need him."

"Sure he's always there. He loves you. Even more than being a death eater and all that he had hoped to gain from it."

Draco stopped in his tracks, and gave me a worried look. "How did you know that? Look..."

"It's okay! I sensed that he was a death eater on the night of our first encounter. He still has many lessons to learn, and I am not the one to bring punishment upon him, or anyone else. Unless provoked of course."

We stopped at a lovely spot near the back of the castle that overlooked the lake. A large flat rock rested in the middle of a small, yet beautiful patch of flowers.

"Wow, it's so pretty up here!" I smiled, taking in the view from this small cliff.

"I know," Draco grinned as he walked me over to the large rock. "I found this place in my second year. I come out here when I want to be alone, or just to think."

"See, that's why."

"What's why?"

I looked into those soothing, gorgeous eyes of his. "When you let go of everything. When you let your guard down completely, and become comfortable with the person you really are. You captivate me. The more you showed those pieces to me, the more I wanted them. I still don't know why, but I can't seem to function without thinking of you."

"I feel the same way about you. It freaked me out at first. A lot of my past girlfriends were a dime a dozen, and none could keep my interest for very long. Then you came along. I had to get to know you better, but when I was with you, I felt different. I tried to flirt with you the same way I did with all the others, but then I realized how stupid it was. I finally meant what I was saying, except it had already lost any kind of real meaning," Draco smiled. He ran his fingers through his hair and continued. "When you showed me the pain that you felt that day, I just couldn't imagine why you still wanted me around."

I brought my lips to his in a gentle caress. "You forget that I could have lived with that pain forever. You're the reason I'm here with you now. You made me fight for what I wanted, and what I wanted, was you."

I brought my leg around to straddle him, and he attacked me as I hoped. He moistened my neck with warm sweeps of his tongue and occasional nibbles that made me twitch excitedly.

He relinquished his affection, and brought his gaze to me. "Gods Jewel. I'm completely under your spell," he voiced in bated breath.

I grabbed the back of his head and crashed onto his lips. I left his mouth open as I came up for air. "Lucky for you, I show no mercy," I whispered before claiming him again. He moaned happily as we continued to devour each other.

After our heated make out session, we held each other as we watched the sun begin to set. We had spent the better part of the day together, but it never seemed to be enough. As the sky began to darken, something in a nearby tree caught my eye. I raised my head to get a better look.

"What is it?" Draco asked.

"That bird," I answered.

He soon found what I was looking at. "A raven."

The sight of a raven around Hogwarts could compare to the number of wands inside the school. They were everywhere, but for some reason, this particular one I've seen before.

"Octavious?" Draco questioned.

The raven hopped a couple of times and then took to flight.

"Is that the bird's name?"

Draco's face became angry, but stayed a little confused. "That's my father's raven."

My eyes widened. I had now remembered where I had seen that bird. It was in that erratic dream I had a while back, the one with Draco. I blinked. The raven in my dream belongs to Lucius Malfoy? I don't understand. What is it supposed to mean, if anything?


TBC...