By Reason Of Birth

The Jumble

Twenty minutes later, Hermione was in her Silenced bedroom, pacing the carpeted floor. She suddenly let out a maddening scream, crouching down and resting her forehead on her knees, only to stand back up and restart her pacing, mumbling to herself.

"What on earth is wrong with me? Why did I let him almost kiss me? Why did he try to kiss me? Why did I want him to? I barely even know him! What is wrong with me?" she reiterated, saying the phrase over and over between random self-admonishments.

She couldn't believe that she had almost let Blaise Zabini kiss her, that she would have if Theo hadn't come looking for him. Oh, gods, Theo! How would he react if he found out? Sure they hadn't had much time to get to know one another and form a bond, but her being his sister wasn't new news to him and Blaise was his best friend. She suddenly started violently shaking, a sudden burst of extra energy forcing its way out as her thoughts ran a mile a minute.

She had always been sensible and logical, always planning things out. Yes, she had become more lax the last month or so, but she couldn't just go around kissing people because she felt like it. They weren't even dating. Would he expect more... either physically or emotionally? Would she? She looked down at her watch. It was late. Too late. She needed to talk to someone, to sort things out. She needed to talk to Harry, but it was past curfew and she couldn't just write him a letter because Ron might find out. Then again, maybe that would be better.

Hermione sat on her bed, taking deep breaths. She had to clear her mind, everything was too jumbled, and most of it wasn't the least bit coherent. As she continued her steady breathing her head emptied slightly, but not much. She stood up and moved to her bathroom, where she drew a bath, adding calming oils to the warm water.

As the tub filled, she crossed over to her dressing room and pulled out a silk nightie, a slip of fabric that only reached mid-thigh. It was one of her favourite summer sleeping gowns. When she returned, the tub was almost full so she undressed, leaving her clothes in a folded pile in the corner, knowing Lammy would take them away after she left the room.

It had taken her longer to get used to having a house-elf than it had to get used to living with her birth family, but she had seen how upset Lammy became every time she even thought of mentioning the elf was doing too much work, or gods forbid, saying that she should take some time off. She decided to keep the elf and let it do its job; she was afraid for Lammy's mental health any other way.

Slipping into the soothing water, she breathed in the calming fragrances, her mind clearing just a tad bit more. She had never really given much thought to Blaise Zabini before. He had always been good-looking, but she had never had a need to get to know his personality before. Yes, he had always been nice, but they hadn't had many occasions over the years that required conversation.

They had had a great time in Hogsmeade earlier. Theo and Lilah were off in their own little world, but the rest of them had gotten along rather well. Harry and Daphne seemed to be hitting things off, and they spent much of the afternoon off to the side, lost in their own conversation. Hermione was mostly left with Blaise and Savannah, him walking between the two females, an arm draped over each of their shoulders as they walked around.

Blaise had spent the day flirting with both girls, though his attention did stray to Hermione more often. She had assumed that it was just how he was-some guys were just very flirty that way. When they had arrived home, they hadn't seen each other again. With the exception of dinner, he and Theo had stayed holed up in Theo's room while Hermione and Harry explored the grounds.

By the time Hermione left the bath, her skin pruny, the oils had done their job, lulling her into a sleepy calm. After drying herself off and plaiting her hair, she put on her nightgown and crawled into her large, warm bed.

She lay awake for quite some time, but just before she lost complete consciousness, there was an extremely soft knock at her door. Worried why someone would be knocking on her door at three in the morning, she climbed out of bed, not even thinking to put on a robe as she rubbed at her sleepy eyes with her fists.

Opening the door, she found Blaise, wearing black sleep pants and a grey wife beater. "Is everything okay?" she asked, her voice half alert, half sleepy.

He was quiet for a moment, simply staring at her before he answered. "No, nothing is wrong. I couldn't sleep and I need to talk to you," he whispered, conscious of Theo sleeping in the room across the hall.

She gazed up at him wearily before she turned back into her room, gesturing for him to follow and returned to her bed, where she cozied up under the top quilt. Blaise, uncertain of what to do, closed the door and sat on the very edge of her bed, his legs hanging to the ground. Glancing at the door, she considered opening it up but decided that what her parents didn't know couldn't hurt them. Besides, it wasn't like she was going to sleep with Blaise or anything.

"So, what did you need to talk to me about?" she asked, waking up a bit and pulling her covers up around her chest.

"What happened tonight. I can't get it out of my mind," he responded.

"So you want to talk about it?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Is that so hard to believe?"

"Yes, I think it is," she said, looking at him suspiciously. "Besides, there's nothing to talk about. Nothing happened, and nothing is going to happen."

She could have sworn that he flinched at her response, but she wasn't completely awake yet and her mind could be playing tricks on her. "You didn't seem so sure of that a couple hours ago," he responded.

"Blaise," she sighed. "I don't know you. I've known who you are for six years now, but I don't know you as a person. I've always found you attractive, but there's more to life than just attraction."

"Hermione, I don't want to be your friend. Well, I do, but not only your friend," he amended.

"You need to forget about this, Blaise. You are my brother's best friend," she said, trying to add to her argument. "I have no intention of coming between you. I may not be used to having a brother yet, but I do know that that is just one line that you don't cross."

"What about Potter and Weaslette?" he asked, hoping for a positive story to back him up. After all, Harry and Ron were still friends.

"That was just... bad. Ginny wanted 'The Chosen One,' not Harry. When he finally realized it, he dumped her. Harry and Ron are still friends, but it's really strained between them. The Weasleys were always like a family to him, but they don't believe Ginny's like that, so of course they stood behind her and pretty much give him the cold shoulder now."

That had not been the answer Blaise had been looking for. "That's a bad example," he told her. She raised an eyebrow at him and he grinned. "I already know you're not the 'The Chosen One.'"

She shook her head at him as she gave a big yawn. "Give it up, Blaise. Now go back to your room so I can get some sleep," she said, curling even further into her blankets and closing her eyes as her head rested on the pillow.

He wished her a good night and climbed the stairs to his own room, determined that she would want him as much as he wanted her, especially now that she was within his reach. He had been carrying a torch for the Gryffindor bookworm for almost two years, but the war had gotten in the way.

His family was decidedly neutral and if he had tried to pursue her, then he and his mother would be cast into the side of the Light, and that was not something that his mother would have taken well. She wanted nothing to do with either side, not being fond of the leaders and what they stood for. She had always believed in a healthy balance, not too far left or right.

But now the war was over and Hermione was staying under the same roof as him. He would let her think he was willing to just be her friend, let her get to know him better as she seemed to want to do, and then pounce. Yes, that sounded like a plan. Ten minutes later, Blaise fell asleep with a predatory grin on his face.
Chapter End Notes:
as per usual, thanks to sugarquill39 and the wonderous lupie (who makes everything better) for beta'ing and all the people who've read, and reviewed.