The Pains of Becoming

Sorry for the delay, it was a matter of life and death, well almost ;)

This chapter is acting as a filler for the story line, which needs a bit of time at the moment. Sorry if you feel the story is not progressing much, I promise that there is a dramatic turn of events not far ahead.

Meanwhile enjoy some Lucius action again;)



MaryJane:

Good to see you pick up on Draco’s behaviour. It’s funny, I never planned Draco to be a big part of this story but he keeps pushing himself into the story, he is a selfish little bastard ;)

But yeah, at the moment I am wondering myself if he has a crush or something. I really don’t know at this stage but it does look like it, doesn’t it?



Don’t feel to sorry for Kirsty though, I know it’s pretty extreme, but she is enjoying herself right now more than ever and that counts something doesn’t it? And hopefully she will be saved eventually…



Thanks to Sajahi! –Fight the flu!







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Chapter 13

A bad girl and a bad man.



During the next morning Kirsty was hardly receptive to what ever was going on in her classes and lunch time she spend in the common room away from everyone else. After lunch the common room got busier again with students who came to pick up their books for their afternoon classes. Kirsty didn’t see Draco walking in. He dropped his schoolbag next to her on the sofa. She looked at it and then up at him. He returned her gaze fiercely, opened his bag and rather angrily, it seemed, motioned for her to look at what was inside. She did so and saw potions supplies in little vials and rolled up in parchment. She looked back at him.





“Here is what you need for your polyjuice potion. But don’t you dare mention to my father that I got you this.”





“What? I don’t understand”





“He might have told me to stay away from you, but the reason is not because he feels so protective over you. He doesn’t want there to be a link between you and me, so in case you screw up I won’t get into trouble.”





She hesitated: “Then why did you help me again?”





He hesitated: “Don’t even start getting romantic on me, okay? My father mustn’t know that you got into detention because of me. You had complications because of it all with your mission. Now there is no reason why anyone should mention anything. You can get on with it.”





“Thanks, but it wasn’t your fault, you know…”





“Don’t patronise me. You just make sure you do your job and stay away from me.” He turned to leave but she could not let that stand.





”You were the one who didn’t stay away from me, Draco.”





“Whatever.” Was all she heard him say. She looked at his bag that he had left with her. Everything she needed for the potion was inside, except for the hair of the person she wanted to turn into. Obviously it would be best to turn into one of the boys that slept in the same dorm as Harry Potter. Immediately she felt better and was no longer feeling depressed at her failure. She was truly grateful to Draco for helping her. After her last encounter with Snape she would not have dared to attempt another theft from his storage.





Two days later, when the potion was prepared for the hair to be inserted she walked down one of the main corridors near the entrance hall, thinking hard about who would be best to turn into when she suddenly stopped and froze. She couldn’t believe her eyes. Down the corridor, she saw Lucius standing there with Draco and Professsor McGonagall. She and Lucius were arguing about something. Draco stood next to his father with crossed arms. Surely he had complained to his father about something and now Lucius had come to Hogwarts to sort things out for him. McGonagall was probably trying to keep him away from Dumbledore. Draco noticed Kirsty and looked menacing her way. She was just about to turn around and go another way when Lucius looked her way as well. Now she felt it was to suspicious looking to turn away. So she only stared a moment. It was just too odd a situation. She had never thought about the possibility of meeting him somewhere in public and how it would make her feel. It was so strange. Now McGonagall looked her way as well. Kirsty forced herself to move on so she walked towards them to pass them. She felt Lucius cold eyes on her as she walked by then she heard him addressing McGonagall again. Now that she had passed them she felt quite good about herself. If old cat McGonagall knew what was going on… She felt powerful about the secret she shared with Lucius Malfoy.





She went outside into the open gallery where students were sitting in the autumn sun. She stood for a moment and scanned the grounds, then she saw her target. She walked towards him from the back, so he didn’t see her coming and she casually sat down on a bench behind him. He was sitting in the grass with his two loyal friends.





“Did you see Draco’s father? I can’t believe Dumbledore still lets him into the castle. He’s a Death Eater! I saw him on the graveyard that night!”





“Well, I suppose what you saw is not official enough to arrest him, so Dumbledore can hardly keep him away from his son’s school.” Granger argued level headed, as normal.





“Someone like Malfoy doesn’t belong here anyway…ouch!” He grabbed his head. Kirsty had just pulled a few hairs off Harry Potters head. He turned and saw the Slytherin girl softly smiling down at him.





“What are you doing?!” He asked, still holding his head as though it still hurt.





Kirsty kept smiling, “Why not?”





“What?”





“Why does someone like Malfoy not belong here?”





Harry hesitated: “Because he’s a bastard out of a family of criminals.”





“Says who?”





“Says I.”





“And who are you to say so?” Harry didn’t answer, “Oh yeah, you’re the Boy-Who-Lived. You’re right, I think someone as famous as you should judge over who is allowed to attend Hogwarts and who isn’t. Since you’re already on it, Mr Headmaster in Chief, would you like to close down Slytherin House?”





“Yes, very much.” Harry answered defensively.





“I thought so,” she smiled peacefully, “too bad that you are only a little brat who doesn’t get to decide anything around here after all.” She smiled at all three of them and left, holding the few hairs tightly in her hand not to lose them. Oh that had felt good! Still with a smile on her face she strolled down the dungeon to the empty room near the common room, which she had used to meet Draco so long ago as it seemed. There she was hiding her boiling potion behind that old sofa. She inserted the hair and prepared the brew further. Now it would have to stand for another couple of weeks with occasional stirring.





She left the room shortly later and decided to go down to the Great Hall, since the time got near dinner time. Suddenly she was pulled out of the hallway through a hidden door into a dark room. Instinctively she tired to fight the attacker off until she recognised the scent and her eyes got used to the dark. She stopped her actions instantly when she realised who was holding her tightly pressed up against the wall. Lucius’ eyes pierced into hers. She thought quickly, had she done something to make him angry? She couldn’t think of anything.





“Easy, my pet.” He said with a smile.





She quickly tried to take in the fact that he was not angry with her and she allowed herself to enjoy his closeness but she hastily said just to make sure,





“I’m progressing with the mission, but I need time cause…”





“Shhhh.” He silenced her, “I’m not here on business. I just thought since I’m here anyway, we might play a little.” She felt him squeeze her waist possessively.





“Play what?” She asked insecurely, worrying whether she would like his ´games`.





“Look around you.” Was all he said, as he turned away and put a locking and silencing charm on the door. She looked around. She had never been in this room before. It appeared to be a deserted class room. Its set up was rather standard with a blackboard and the rows of benches. But everything was covered in thick dust and spider webs. The place looked extremely ghostly. Lucius turned back towards the room and waved his wand at the benches. All the signs of age and neglect disappeared in some kind of backwards blast and left the room looking just like any other classroom, except that somehow the ghostly atmosphere stayed.

He lowered his wand and looked at her.





“Now, what kind of game could we possibly be playing here?”, a smirk formed on his face and his eyes started to glitter.





“You want to play school?” She asked disbelievingly. His smirk grew wider. “Yes and no…take your seat.” He said and stepped back from her.





She couldn’t help but smirk as she walked over to the first row of benches. She had never thought she would end up playing some kind of role game with Lucius Malfoy in a hidden, old Hogwarts classroom. She instantly wished she could tell people about it, it would make such a great story. …Maybe she should tell Draco …





“You’re amused. How refreshing.” He stated with a strange smile. He watched her sit down and then took his place by the high desk in front of the blackboard. He casually leaned against it and looked back at her.





“It’s been a while since I’ve played this game.” He said.





“When you were a student at Hogwarts?” She asked. He only gazed for a short moment, as though deep in memory, but then he answered with a frown, “Well, not that long ago.”





She only looked at him so he continued; “As you well may know, I used to put a lot of money and time into this school as a governor.” She still only looked at him not sure how to react.





“I had to be repaid somehow.” He added simply. She kept her thoughts on his explanation to herself. She did not have much time to picture some innocent Hogwarts student being seduced or raped by Lucius Malfoy to ´repay` him for his donations. He sat down behind the desk and put his legs up on the desktop as he leaned back into his chair.





“Now, show me what you would do for a good mark, my pet.”





At first a breeze of panic came over her but then she realised this was a game, nothing more, and he asked her to play. He allowed her to live out a fantasy with him. A smile came over her face and she looked into his eyes from across the room as she slowly unbuttoned the first few buttons of her blouse and then put her hands down under the desk to slowly pull up her skirt as she spread her legs. His eyes dropped to her centre and back up at her.





“Ever tried this in reality?” He asked. She hesitated, then she closed her legs again, suddenly so aware of the reality around her.





“No.” She answered with a suffocated gasp, making clear how outrageous she found the idea.





“Why not?” He asked simply.





She laughed nervously: “I don’t need to. My marks are fine.”





“But they are not great, are they?” She remained quiet.





“What? Don’t you think that the one or other teacher finds you desirable?”





“No.” she argued quietly and turned her eyes sideways. Her teachers came to her mind, the thought of any of them fancying her was outrageous. How could he be so serious about this?





“Don’t you think, the one or other noticed when your little breasts started to grow and press against your childish school blouse? Do you not think, that when you left the classroom sometimes they would try to catch a quick view on your nicely formed backside and the curves of your body as they started to define?” She felt herself blushing. He was basically complimenting her on her body, something he did not do very often. She had gotten used to him taking her attributes for granted, “And do you not find it very likely, that once in a while they draw out a fantasy in their heads how fun it would be to use their power as a teacher to use you?”





She shook her head. No, she could not imagine her teachers behaving that way. She thought of Professor Snape and tried to recall their encounters during the past years as she was growing into a woman. No, he had hardly paid her any attention what so ever, until a few weeks ago, when she started messing things up. But even then, though he was a bit creepy sometimes, she could not possibly imagine him having any dirty thoughts about her. In fact she could not imagine him having interest in women or sex at all. He definitely was a hundred percent professional! And he was definitely not interested in his students that way! How could she even think about it? It was just outrageous!





“I don’t think Dumbledore would let someone like that work at Hogwarts.” She said quietly.





Lucius smiled softly: “Dumbledore, how come everyone assumes that Albus Dumbledore is all knowing? He’s nothing but an old man. If he was so … aware, how come I was able to have my way with one or other of his students in the past, and how come… how come we are here right now, in his castle, not so far away from the man himself?” Fake pity showed in his sneer , “I am about to abuse a poor, innocent little student of his and he is not here to stop me… yet again.” She couldn’t help but smile. She felt an uplifting sense of unity with this man. It was true, here they were, right under everyone’s nose and they were going to make love.





“Now, before the old man comes to save your virtue, I think you have to work a little harder to deserve a better mark.” He said with a provoking glitter in his eyes.





He wanted to be impressed? Fine, she thought and felt herself fill with courage as she got up and walked towards him. He put his feet off the desk as she approached him, which gave her an idea. Slowly she crawled on top of the desk. She faced him, her legs dangling from the desk in front of him. She kicked off her shoes and opened her blouse a bit further. Then she gave him a little fake pout and said;





“Could I please have a better mark, Sir?” Her right foot stroke up his inner thigh and over the bulge in his trousers.





“Well, I don’t know about that. Do you think you deserve it?”





She nodded childishly. Inside she was nervous. This game was thrilling and she loved playing it, but she could not forget who her playmate was.





“I don’t think you do.”





She looked at him for a moment, then she said, “But I have learned so much in the last weeks. You can test me.” She slipped from the desk down on her knees before him and now used her hands feeling the inside of his thigh and settling comfortably between them. Carefully she started unbuttoning his trousers. Her heart started beating nervously in her chest as she set free his manhood and softly closed her hand around it. She kissed it and played with her tongue on it, teasing him with the tip of her tongue and then taking him in fully, sucking and massaging his cock with her lips. She noticed that he started to breath deeper and a hiss escaped from between his gritted teeth. She felt more proud than ever, she was doing well! She felt his fingertips crawl over the back of her neck and it gave her a nice shiver. She felt him harden and eventually stopped when she thought he was painfully hard and longing for release. She looked up at him innocently with the intention to tease.





“You better put your mouth back to work, or I fling you over this desk and try out an opening to your body I haven’t used yet.” He spoke through gritted teeth. She took his warning seriously and blushed as she immediately lowered her face again to his cock. Was be being serious? Would he do that? She pushed the thought away and continued. She felt his hand gripping her hair tightly and she felt him twitch and spill into her throat, she swallowed quickly. Everything inside her was still against it but she had learned, and she wanted him to be pleased with her. When he was done she looked up at him again, licking her lips.





“So you have learned.” He stated, catching his breath.





She smiled: “Do I deserve a reward, Sir?”



He looked at her speculatively and she lowered her eyes again, not wanting to seem demanding.





“Very well,” he finally said, “get up.”





She stood up and he lifted her back on the desk before him. He pulled her shirt open and the remaining closed buttons sprang away. He gripped her bra and easily ripped it apart. He leaned into her and caressed her neck with his lips. She closed her eyes, trying to get the most out of this rarely given pleasure. She could hardly believe when she felt his mouth travelling closer to hears and he kissed her. He had hardly ever done that. She wanted to kiss him back more deeply, but she didn’t dare, not wanting to ask for too much. But he asked for more, forcing his tongue into her mouth and she gave in. She felt herself heating up quickly. He left her mouth again and travelled down her neck. He pulled her torn shirt to the sides and as she bent back she felt his warm hand cupping her breast. She leaned back, supporting herself with her arms pushing herself up. And another particularly warm shiver came over her and made her moan quietly when she felt his warm, wet mouth covering her nipple. As his tongue played on her breast she instantly started to feel a powerful need for him between her legs. She spread her legs in a subconscious attempt to invite him but he kept focusing on her breasts. She loved it, right now she would have done anything for the promise that he would repeat it. Sometimes he bit down on her hard nipple and the sweet little pain made her shriek, and in the next moment the pain made space for even more bliss. She loved feeling his hot tongue on her sensitive skin. It felt as though it was an extremely intimate gesture somehow.





As he kept working on her she noticed her mind seemed to get out of control. She refused to think about anything, she only wanted to feel. It seemed to push away any shame, any worry and any control she had over herself. She only wanted to be his, and she wanted to feel more. And, oh how she wanted him to start focusing on her lower region. She would have never thought it possible, were she in a normal state of mind, that she would even consider it, but right now, she was so tempted to slip her own hand under her skirt and relieve that need, while keeping him at her breast.





But then with her eyes still closed, she felt his hands pushing up her skirt and pulling down her knickers. She wiggled to help him pull them off and then she noticed how his tongue started to move deeper, down her belly and … oh was he going to do this? Girls in her class had talked about it, she had never thought… ohhhh!





She twitched and leaned all the way back on the desk as she felt his tongue darting into her. He spread her legs further to have more access and flicked his tongue over her most sensitive spot. She couldn’t help put softly twitch and squirm. But he did not continue for long, before he came back up again and pulled her back up to him.





“Taste yourself.” he said before he kissed her again and his tongue slipped back inside her mouth. She wanted to put her arm around him and pull him down on the desk with her, but she didn’t dare, even though her need started to grow again and even worse than it had been before. Wiggling on the desk to find some kind of relieve she felt the moisture between her legs spreading on her thighs. She pulled away from his kiss, as much as she loved it, her desire was making her crazy, she needed him to touch her. She thought of his huge, hard cock and how she had wasted it in her mouth.



“Please,” she whimpered in her desire, “please I need you to fuck me.” She could not believe she had simply said this.





“Aren’t we greedy.” Lucius stated looking back at her shaking his head disapprovingly. He softy stroke down her naked thigh but stayed clear of the area she wanted him to touch. She felt his eyes boring into her. He was enjoying her distress. Suddenly he sat back in his chair again, looking calmly at her, smashing any of her hopes he would give her relief.





She was confused, what was he doing? She tried to focus, they were still playing, but she could not concentrate on what else it was she was supposed to give him, she could only think of her own need. And she could not hold back anymore. She stared into his eyes as she put her hand slowly to her centre, if he disapproved he could stop her. As she felt her own hand on her sensitive and stimulated area she closed her eyes and sighed. Then she heard his voice from far away though her fogged brain.





“How very indecent. Don’t you have the least bit of self-control?”





She shook her head, her eyes still closed. Somehow she could tell from the sound of his voice that he was smiling inside.





“If you suddenly felt horny during class, is that how you would help yourself?” She kept her eyes closed and continued massaging herself, “None of my teachers use their tongue on me like that to make me horny.”



“In this game he does.” He said calmly.



“I don’t care, please fuck me.”



“You slut!” he hissed. She heard him stand up and come closer. Suddenly she felt his firm grip on her arm. He pulled her hand away from her centre and pulled her off the desk.



“I don’t think I can tolerate this kind of behaviour.” He said and flipped her around so fast she hardly had time to open her eyes and see what was happening. He pushed her over the desk. She wasn’t scared though, instead she was thrilled he was finally getting active again. Every firm grip of his, pushed her further in her desire and pushed her to a level she had not known was possible. When he had her in position he pushed up her skirt again and roughly invaded her swollen, dripping wet pussy with his fingers. She squeaked in surprise and desire and pushed back against his hand to feel him deeper. Her inner walls clung around his fingers in the first hint of a sudden, oncoming orgasm.





“Look at you, my little, dirty half-blood. Your pussy is twitching for me. You should be ashamed for such indecent portrayal of your cravings for me.”





He pulled out his fingers and smacked her bottom sharply. She moaned. Did he know how much truth she felt in his words? Maybe he was only playing but to her he was speaking the truth. She was a rotten, lusty, bad girl in love with a bad man. He smacked her again. She greeted the pain, liking the feeling of it smoothing her guilt. Or was it the impact of his hand sending a lovely shock to her core that reminded her of a near climax that she would hopefully feel fully and soon. He continued spanking her a few more times. She could not hold it together anymore. She let herself drown in a pool of shame, desire and pleasure and pain. She softly started to cry. He stopped and she felt him leaning over her, stroking her damp hair.





”Shhh, that’s my girl.”





“I’m… I’m….”





“Shhh, I know.”





“No.” She forced herself to push herself up from the desk and turn around to him to look at him. She wiped her eyes and tried to control herself, “That’s what I am. That’s what I feel.” She blurted out. He removed himself slightly, looking at her, clearly not understanding what she was going on about.





“I know I am never going to be good enough for you. And I don’t care. I’m happy with what I am. I am happy to be different from them all, as long as you keep me.” A smile came over his face.





“Very well,” he answered simply, “now lets get on with it, shall we?” He pushed her down again. He grabbed her roughly by her hips and pulled her towards himself. He quickly opened his trousers and an instant later she felt him burying his huge cock inside her. She cried out in pleasure. She had endured her need for so long, now he gave her everything she needed as he started fucking her hard. She loved every little bit of it, screaming out those waves of pleasure that dominated her. One wave followed the next, it felt as though she was stuck in a storm of orgasms which kept coming over her another as soon as one had washed over her until finally she got overwhelmed with the most powerful orgasm she had ever had, and did never know was possible. She wanted to give up her soul for it. But then she felt it leaving her and all that was left was exhaustion, cold sweat and a need for breath. She gasped into the quiet air. She heard him breath heavily above her. He removed himself from her and pulled his clothes back into place. She hesitated a moment but then pushed herself up. She was a complete mess, her hair was completely out of control, her knickers and her shoes lost somewhere on the floor. One grey sock pulled down, her skirt crumpled around her waist and her shirt and bra half torn hanging from one arm. She tried to pull it all together and fix herself up, but it was hopeless.





She looked over to Lucius who had turned his back on her, watching himself in an old mirror on the wall, pulling his shirt straight.





“I’m a mess.” She stated, looking down at herself again. He turned to her and said factually,





“You are, pet. You look terrible.” Before he turned away again, concentrating on himself.





“Well, how am I supposed to get back to my common room, looking like this?”



He sighed and turned to her again, pulling his wand from his walking stick,



”Reparo.” He said as he pointed the wand at her shirt. It closed itself neatly back over her chest. He pulled a small vial out of his coat and put it into her hand. Another contraceptive. Did he know he was going to have her today when he came to Hogwarts or did he always carry a contraceptive potion around with him she wondered and swallowed the content.



“You can look after yourself. You’re not a child anymore.” He turned away again. She pulled up her sock and tried to concentrate on her hair, combing it with her fingers.





Now he came back to her and leaned into her slightly: “I have to go now. Keep working on your mission. If you do well, I think we can talk about Death Eater business soon.” Her eyes widened. She wanted to kiss him. But she did not want to ruin the moment so she only blurted out, “I love you.”





He smiled condescendingly; “Alright now.” He turned away and went for the door but he turned back once more before he opened it. “Wait a moment before you leave. People mustn’t see us leave at the same time.” She nodded, smiling. How she loved sharing secrets with this man.





She waited, her legs dangling from the desk then she got up and left the old class room. As she made two steps into the hallway, she turned and saw Lucius walking down the hall in the distance. She smiled dreamily after him. But as she turned around to walk up the corridor into the other direction she walked into Professor Flitwick. He stumbled several steps backwards before he caught balance and looked up at her.





“Oh, Miss Flame, are you alright? You look rather heated, are you ill?” Her smile widened,





“I’m fine Professor, just fine.” She walked off, her head high.