Behind the Looking Glass

The Muggle Way



Snape and Shoonmaker walked rapidly away from the small park in the cold Bucharest rain as the older man stuffed the Portkey once more into the black leather bag and quickly snapped it shut. Both men instinctively pulled their coats closer about them and automatically hunched themselves against the chill as their breath made a light billowing fog about their faces with each step they took.

The men marched briskly with a single-minded purpose, not caring in the least as startled looks and curious glances were cast their way as they ploughed through the gathering throng, forcing people who had come to worship early on the Sabbath at New St. George Church, to give way and move aside as they swiftly crossed Piaþa Sfântul Gheorghe. They were headed north toward the University of Bucharest, and punctuality was of the essence if they were to arrive on time to meet the ‘Little Witch of Ilfov County’ for it was she who would discreetly transport them to within walking distance of the Roshenko estate.

Silently, they continued onward until they had traversed University Square and stood waiting outside the wrought iron fence a short distance from the four monuments that faced the university itself. A small, and miserably dented yellow taxi pulled up with a screech of tires as it stopped in front of them. The window slid down releasing a cloud of pungent smoke and revealed the ‘Little Witch of Ilfov’ with a stubby cigar firmly clamped between her white teeth and sitting behind the wheel. The nickname was a fair, if not accurate description, for if she had gotten out and stood, the top of her head would have barely reached Snape’s sternum. She squinted at them from under a thatch of inky black hair with mismatched eyes, as one being blue and the other gold, and jerked her head toward the backseat, “I don’ haf all day yentlemen.” Her accent rolled thick and heavy from her tongue as that belonging to someone from the backcountry.

“Eh?” Delbert asked with a puzzled frown, and looked at Snape to translate for he couldn’t understand a single word the woman had said.

Snape smirked and reached around him pulling the door open and said, “Get in,” as he placed his hand between the man’s shoulders and unceremoniously shoved him inside. “And to think you used to be a spy….” Snape shook his head as he got in and barely had time to close the door as the taxi whisked away from the curb at break-neck speed.

Speeding and careening in and out of traffic, up one street and down the next and finally breaking the speed limit down ªtefan cel Mare Blvd past the Poliþia Bucureºti heedless of officers entering and exiting, the woman known to close associates only as Nadia looked in the rear-view mirror and noticed Delbert Schoonmaker clinging desperately with white knuckled hands to whatever was available to anchor himself. In addition, this unfortunately and painfully included Snape’s black-clad arm.

“Don’ vorrrry,” she purred confidently and flashed a dazzling smile. “I nehwer haf accident – wery safe driver,” she said just as the taxi gave a lurch and jumped a curb as she drove to avoid a slowdown in traffic.

“Yeah, right….” Delbert answered in a voice that had nearly taken on a rather tedious whine as he vividly imagined the various possible causes as to how the many dents on the vehicle had come to be and he asked, “Why didn’ we choose brooms instead?” Flying greatly terrified him and he despised brooms because of it, but he figured it would be much safer than what they were using at the present moment.

“Because,” Snape threw out his hand to support himself and quickly jammed his foot against the transmission hump and said calmly, although it was through tightly clenched teeth caused by Nadia’s chaotic driving style. “We must keep the use of magic at a bare minimum, and must not attract attention to ourselves.”

The car banked sharply around a corner flinging Snape into his hapless companion, squishing him effectively into the door panel and its jutting armrest dug agonizingly into his kidneys. “Oooof – geroff me!” He said pushing the heavier man off of him and gingerly rubbing his back. “Well, we’re goin’ to attract a lot o’ attention when our bloody mugs are plastered on the front page and the ‘eadlines o’ The Prophet read, ‘Wizards Killed in Muggle Car Crash - Body Parts Still Bein’ Scraped from Pavement’. That’ll look right inconspicuous I’ll say,” he reached up and tugged his pork-pie hat down nearly to his ears, and braced himself once more, then added, “Er mate, I don’ think we’re exactly ‘eaded in the right direction….”

“No, ve are not. I haf just von leettle stop to mehk,” Nadia pulled hard on the wheel, and the car abruptly swerved and came to a screeching stop sending both men flying into the backrests of the front seat. She turned and looked at them with an amused expression, “Just because you both are vizards, doesn’t mean not to vear seatbelts,” As she hastily exited the taxi, she admonished, “Stay right here, and don’ moof!”

She quickly entered what looked to be an apartment building and almost as quickly exited carrying two brown packages which she thrust into their hands saying, “Food. Eat. You might not haf time to later,” and got in.

“Might not haf time now,” she added as she closed the door, and noticed another car that was black in colour and with tinted windows, parked several meters down the street and with that, the taxi careened sharply into traffic once more.

Delbert, who had now turned a slight shade of sickly green, looked down and fingered the package in his lap and said, “No thanks, I’ll take me chances on later – be like tryin’ to eat while ridin’ one o’ them effin’ muggle roller coasters me nephew jabbers about,” he said seconds before the brown paper-wrapped package flew violently from his grasp as the taxi hit a curb sending pedestrians fleeing from the sidewalk in a panic for their lives.

“Ve haf company yentlemen,” Nadia set her jaw and quickly slammed on the brake, and yanked on the wheel then turned down a narrow cobble-stone side street as the other car shot past them.

Soon the National road leading north came into view and they quickly merged with the light traffic, and just as quickly, the menacingly black car they thought they had lost, soon pulled up beside them. Snape turned to look, and much to his surprise he recognized the two men within. Deatheaters by the names of Calvin Cromwell and Philip Darby glared viscously back at him. They were long noted for their willingness and exceptional cruelty to go to any lengths to please the Dark Lord and bring about his return to power.

“Shite,” Snape breathed to himself for he had never expected to see them ever again, and certainly not here and not now.

The car swerved, impacting the little taxi along its side causing it to veer dangerously near the trees that lined the freeway and concealed the ravine below. Snape defensively pulled out his wand, and before he could act, Nadia had regained control, and cried out sharply, “No! No - magic!” She pressed the accelerator as far as it would go, and they swiftly left the deatheaters behind. Looking back in the mirror, they could be seen quickly gaining on them once more like a shining black juggernaut, and the diminutive woman frantically drove with one hand on the wheel and the other fumbling for something under the seat as she muttered curses in her native tongue.

“Bloody ‘ell, we better do somethin’ fast. They’re catchin’ up!” Delbert said grimly.

“I am doingk someting! Shut up, and leht me do eet!” She commanded stridently, and finally she found what she was looking for and held it up with a triumphant cry as if she were brandishing the head of a long-hated and vanquished enemy.

It was a tattered, rather ordinary looking, medium-sized paper bag tied shut with string and it seemed to contain something somewhat heavy. She quickly rolled down the window and with narrowed eyes and a fiercely evil grin that was indeed worthy of any dark wizard, she flung the bag out and as it landed, thousands of nails exploded from it and liberally covered the freeway. The Death Eaters following behind were intently focused on their quarry, and realized far too late what was in store for them; for they never even gave a single thought that anything other than magic would be used against them in defence. Tires screeched and exploded loudly, and the black car barrelled off the freeway to crash through the trees, only to fall tumbling and rolling down the embankment to end in a crumpled mass of twisted and smoking metal.

“Chuffin’ Nora….” Delbert said more to himself than anyone else.

“I learned that from vonderful muggle cinema – wery effective, no?” Nadia arched her brow and flashed another dazzling smile, then rolled up the window and sighing contentedly, settled back comfortably in her seat as Snape and Schoonmaker briefly looked at each other and remained silent for the rest of the journey.