I Will Always Find You

AN: As I said in the last chapter, I am extremely busy. I promised a friend of mine I\'d watch her son 2 days a week, and the computer hog in my house is going on vacation soon, so I probably won\'t have much computer time. Anyway I\'ll try to get chapters out as fast as I can.
~Angel

Reviewers:


mysticsong: Thank you. I\'m glad you are enjoying it!


angel: Thanks! Glad you like it.


JTBJAB: I know; but I was pressed for time and I wanted to give you guys something. Hope you like this one!


Kayree: I\'m glad that you like it. Sorry about the cliffhanger; but as Sunflower pointed out, I am evil. LOL


Sunflower: I am evil, huh? LOL I love it! I know, I love it when they\'re all unsure and stuff. Makes for great sexual tension. LOL


Tainted Angel: I know! But men are always asking ME to kiss THEM! The bastards. I\'d like to be asked if they can kiss me once in awhile! *fumes* Oh! SO sorry about that! didn\'t mean to rant! LOL Anyway, I hope you enjoy this! Love you too hunny! You guys reviewing for me keeps me writing!


wooglit: Glad you found us! I love this site. I\'m flattered that you like my Severus. If you want to, go check out my favorites on my author page. There\'s some great ones there. I highly reccomend \"Hermiones Revenge\" by Corazon. It\'s hysterical! I\'ve read it like ten times. LOL


sarah: Okay! Take a deep breath hon! LOL I\'ll have this one up in a jiffy, since I can\'t sleep. LOL


AN2: Okay, so I was planning on being very evil again and beginning the chapter with Harry and Ron; but I guess I\'ll give you guys a break and just get to Severus and Hermione. ;)
ALSO- I hope this is believable. If it isn\'t, let me know and I\'ll change it. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 13. Let go

Severus had to fight his instinct to grab Hermione and pull her into his lap. After all, she had been attacked not too long before and he was scared of frightening her away.


He was surprised that he even had the presence of mind to think of that with her baby-soft lips pressed to his.


She was inexperienced, he could tell by the almost scientific way she was kissing him; but he didn\'t care about that at all. She was really here and really kissing him.


Suddenly she scooted closer to him, putting her arms around his neck, and parting her lips slightly. He could tell that her initial nervousness had worn off, and she was relaxing.


Slowly he slid his tongue across her bottom lip, causing her to gasp and freeze. He almost pulled back, and would have, had she not melted to him in the next second and opened her mouth wider.


He grinned into the kiss and began tentatively probing her mouth with his tongue. He also began to put his hands to good use, placing them at her waist and back, slowly rubbing circles through her clothes.


Whatever he was doing with his hands, Hermione liked it. When she had lost her virginity with Victor it had been very different. He was clumsy and faltering. She had been very surprised, thinking that he had been with many girls; but he had confessed that he felt too awkward.


They hadn\'t done a whole lot of kissing either. He had been too preoccupied and worried that he would hurt her.


All in all, it hadn\'t been very satisfying, and Hermione had been exceedingly dissapointed. But now, the way Professor Snape was making her feel was erasing all her preconcieved notions of sex.


She was shocked at how quicky her body was responding to him. Her belly was beginning to tingle with anticipation. Her fingers tightned on the neck of his robes, and she moved to sit in his lap.


It was his turn to freeze. Hermione had settled on a very sensitive part of his anatomy. He very much liked the feel of her wieght there; but he was still wary of frightning her. He knew he wouldn\'t be able to controll how he reacted to her.


They hadn\'t stopped kissing for more than a few seconds to breathe and he thought it was probably time to stop. For now.


He gently pushed her back. \"Hermione, we should stop now.\"


\"Why?\" She asked breathlessly. He looked into her eyes and almost lost it when he saw how filled with desire they were.


\"Because we are rapidly approaching the point of no return, my dear. I do not wish to hurt or frighten you.\"


\"You won\'t.\" Her cheeks were flushed, eyes bright and sparkling, lips swollen from kissing. His heart swelled with feeling for her.


He smiled and reached up to caress her face. \"You are so beautiful.\"


Her already flushed cheeks grew brighter and she looked down in embarassment. \"No I\'m not.\"


\"You are.\" he lifted her chin in a replay of the night in the classroom. \"You are beautiful, and do not ever let anyone tell you that you are not.\"


She started to tear up.


\"What have I said?\" He asked with soft concern.


\"That\'s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.\"


\"Oh dear, I do hope this doesn\'t get out. My reputation would be ruined!\" He joked softly.


She laughed and brushed at her eyes. \"Well then, you\'ll just have to be extra nice to me so I won\'t tell.\"


He squeezed her sides. \"Minx. Trying to blackmail me now? What would your friend Potter think?\"


\"Oh, I\'m sure Harry and Ron would have to be taken to St. Mungos if they knew what was happening right now.\"


\"Are you going to tell them?\" He was worried about her answer. If she was going to, they would surely raise hell about it and he might just lose his job; but what if she was ashamed of what was happening? He didn\'t think he could bear it if she was just letting him in because she was vulnerable. He was out on a limb just then and wondering why he hadn\'t thought of it before.


\"Not yet. It\'s too new.\" she said. \"Plus they could make big trouble for both of us. I think this should be our secret until I graduate. After that they\'ll know.\"


He smiled. The best answer she could have given. \"So you want to be with me?\"


\"Yes. I really, really do.\" She smiled up at him.

He smiled back. \"Good, because I really really want to be with you.\"


She giggled.


\"What?\"


\"It\'s very mysterious how things work out.\" she said. \"I never pictured myself with you before tonight; but now I can\'t picture anything else.\"


He surprised her by grabbing her and hugging her tightly. \"If I tell you something will you promise not to run away?\" This was whispered into her ear, his voice and breath making her shiver with want for him.


\"I promise.\" her voice was a little muffled by his robes and he loosened his grip on her.


\"I love you.\"


Hermione began to cry again, and he hugged her tightly. \"You don\'t have to say it back; but I wanted you to know.\"


Hermione had just remembered the dream she had. In the beautiful garden with the strange flowers. It had been his voice, his arms around her, his chin resting on her head. Almost identical to the situation they were in now.


\"I love you too.\" she sobbed.


\"Shhh.\" He gently rocked her back and forth as she cried, and clung to him. He had unleashed a torrent of emotions that had been built up since the day she had been raped.


Not even then had she cried so much. Every pain, every humiliation was pouring out of her body with her tears.


After awhile she calmed and began to hiccough. Gulping great torrents of air, her body trying to regulate it\'s air intake again.


\"I\'m sorry.\" she whispered, her cheek pressed to his shoulder, her face was beginning to itch from the fabric of his robes and her tears; but she didn\'t want to move.


\"It\'s allright. Do you feel better?\"


\"Yes. I was holding it in. I wanted to be strong. Like a Gryffindor is supposed to be.\"


\"You are strong. Stronger than most people. You let the hurt go, that\'s all. What feels broken will mend now.\"


\"Okay, Professor Dumbledore.\" She giggled as much as she could around the hiccoughs.


\"Damn, I really am spending too much time with that man. And I do hope you\'ve never been in this position with him.\"


Hermione smacked his arm playfully. \"No! That is just sick. It would be like snogging my grandfather.\"

Severus chuckled and then looked at his mantle clock. \"Is that the time? I think it is time for you to go back to your rooms,my dear.\"


\"Wish I could stay.\" she whispered, making his heart leap.


\"So do I.\" He eased her off of his lap and brushed her hair away from her face. \"We\'d best clean you up.\"


A few spells later and Hermione was no longer hiccoughing, her face was back to it\'s normal color, her nose was clear and her hair was back in place.

\"There you are.\"


\"Walk me out?\" She asked shyly.


He chuckled and offered her his arm. \"My lady.\"


She grinned and followed him out of his sitting room.


They shared one last lingering kiss before she left for Gryffindor tower.


\"Goodnight love.\" He said before giving her bottom a pat to get her going.


\"Goodnight.\" She responded and with a last smile she left the potions classroom and reverted to her Head Girl personality.


She would have liked to giggle and act giddy; but no one could know about this relationship. His job and Harry\'s chances of beating Voldemort depended on it.


She was on the verge of being dumbfounded. He had hidden his feelings for her very well. Before tonight she had only registered his signals on a subconscious level.


When she finally got back to the common room Harry and Ron were waiting for her. It was Friday, and they were usually up late anyway.


\"Hey \'Mione, where\'ve you been? It\'s almost eleven thirty.\" Said Ron.


\"In the dungeon Ronald. Like I told you on Wednesday.\"


\"Did you have a detention?\" Asked Ginny who had come up behind her.


\"No, I\'m assisting Professor Snape a few nights a week.\" Hermione replied as evenly as she could. She very much wanted to change the subject. \"So what are you guys up to?\"


\"Not much.\" Harry shrugged. \"You were down there al long time. How many essays did you have to grade?\"


\"None. We were making potions.\" She replied. \"Then he made some tea and we chatted for a while and I came back up here.\"


She knew she could get away with that much at least. It would help explain why she was so late.


\"What did you possibly have to discuss with Snape?\" Asked Ron flatly.


\'A lot.\' Hermione thought to herself; but said, \"We were talking about what I\'m doing after Hogwarts. He wanted to know what I plan to do.\"


\"He asked?\"


\"Yes.\"


This is so wierd. Snape never talk to students. Are you sure you\'re not snogging him?\" Ron asked.


Hermione laughed. \"Ronald, you\'re such a child. I\'m going to bed. Goodnight you lot.\"


\"Night,\" they answered back.


Hermione made her way to her room. Ron didn\'t know just how right he was. If he had known, he would have probably fainted dead away right then and there.

Hermione put those thoughts out of her mind. She was exhausted and she had a headache from crying. She wanted to take a hot bath and go to sleep. Sera would be coming for lunch tomorrow, and she needed to be rested up.

AN: Whew, that was tough. I wasn\'t sure when I started how far I was going to let it go; but I want to build up some serious sexual tension,so they will not be jumping each other for a while. Also I\'m currently going through a CSI binge. I\'m being attacked by a ferocious plot bunny that thinks it would be at least mildy amusing to cross CSI over with Harry Potter, so you guys might be seeing that as soon as I\'m done with this fic. It\'ll probably still be Hermione/Snape, so watch out for it!