The death of a git, the rise of a hero...

They were in the dank dungeons with Snape still tugging at Hermione's wrist before she fully pulled away. She looked to her pinkish, tender wrist and held in a sigh as Snape turned his head slightly to glare at her.

"Just what do you think you're doing?"

"I'm not a child." Hermione said lowly so that only he could hear, rubbing her wrist and glaring at him under her fringe. "To the world I may be Mrs. Snape. Between the two of us I am Miss Granger, and I'm sure to you I am merely a nuisance. But I refuse to be carted around like a disobedient child no matter what part I'm asked to play."

Snape didn't answer her and instead sneered darkly. Just who did she think she was? Unlocking his door and with a mighty push to the small of her back by his open palm, he thrust her inside.

"Get in."

Suddenly the door slammed behind them, and they were engulfed in momentary darkness before Snape muttered something under his breath and candles were lit everywhere.

Perhaps I should tell him about electricity. No. Forget it.

Now alone with him in his flat Hermione was past angry and had moved quite rapidly into fear of the brooding man a few steps away from her. Several frightening scenarios played in her head, and she had a feeling that what would transpire next between the two would not be a nice clean game of Wizards chess.

He suddenly strode over to her, whipping a flash of silver in front of her as she flinched, thinking he was going to hit her. He frowned at the realization that she thought so and waited for her to take the key in his outstretched fingers.

"The key," he said dimly as she took it from him, "As promised."

Hermione nodded dimly, looking to the floor, the key and then to him.

"W-Why did you want to leave the reception so soon?" Hermione asked standing idly by the door and looking to him curiously. Why had he wanted to leave so soon? Why would he want to be alone with her? He wasn't expecting that she-

"Isn’t it obvious?" he scowled darkly and Hermione shook her head dutifully. "I wanted to get away from them."

"The Headmaster?" Hermione asked tentatively.

"Yes, the Headmaster." Snape mimicked unflatteringly in a high-pitched voice that would have been funny if it weren't for the terrifying glare he was giving her. "Along with the rest of the bloody party."

Hermione nodded, understanding his point of view. They weren't the most convincing actors in the world, and a slip up seemed fated. Instead of mulling over the fact that she was uncomfortable and wanted to take a bath, she quickly rationalized that she had no clothes with her.

"Professor-"

"It'll be Severus and Hermione inside and outside the flat." Snape interjected miserably. The mere thought of the little chit calling him by his first name was infuriating. "But, not in classes."

"Yes sir." Hermione said lowly. "Er I mean, Severus."

"Well?" He demanded impatiently, "What do you want you silly little girl?"

"I don't have my bags." Hermione said testily, getting angry at the fact that he wasn't listening. "Like I told you before."

"Yes yes." Snape said with a wave of his hand, walking to the bedroom and flinging the door open and standing against it boredly. "The house elves have taken care of it. The bags are by your bed."

Hermione still stood a few steps away, having followed him but at a distance. She tentatively peered into the darkened room and then back to his face where he wore a look of hidden amusement.

He waved his wand and after another muttered spell the bedroom was alight with what seemed to be hundreds of candles. Still she didn't stir, instead looked to him as if waiting for him to enter the room first.

"I don't bite." he said darkly, looking at her as if it were a lie. Hermione suddenly went rigid, flushing and walked quickly into the room, brushing by him rapidly.

Knowing that he'd struck a nerve in the temperamental Gryffindor, Snape smirked in the confines of the shadows cast by the candles and slowly followed her in.

Hermione looked to the large bed she remembered all too well and looked away just as fast. It was a beautiful bed. Didn't seem right that someone like Snape should have it. She looked disparagingly to her own small cot and bags and felt the anger wash over her in an instant.

Snape meanwhile watched her from the darkened doorframe, arms crossed and his eyes ablaze from the candlelight. She was like a bloody bird, peering at everything and flitting about. It was almost comical. At least she has some spirit. he thought, thinking back to her speech outside the flat. I could have gotten stuck with someone even worse I suppose. But she's so damned well annoying. Gods...to think, I'm bloody well married to the one girl I find the most annoying in all of Hogwarts.

He was already miserable at this prospect and then noticed she looked from his bed to her own, and frowned at her lack of tact. He'd done all he could for the little brat. The cot was easily disposable, and his bed was much too large in the room to accommodate another of such splendor.

"I'd like to have a bath if you don't mind." Hermione suddenlid, id, breaking the tension. "Where are your towels?"

"In the bathroom." Snape said slinking to the other side of his bed and regarding her with snakelike similarity. Hermione looked over her shoulder to where he stood, looking even more like an overgrown bat than usual. She nodded, making her bags larger and digging around in them.

She pulled out her pajamas bat bathroom products and clutching them protectively to her chest she closed the bag tightly, not wanting Snape to look at her belongings. Sleeping in the same room with him was an invasion of privacy as it was. She saw that he was trying to peer into her bag as it was.

"Good night." She said automatically as she prepared to walk out the door she'd opened. She did so not only because she assumed he'd be in bed and sleep by the time she got back, but also because it was habit.

The minute she'd done so she immediately regretted it, going scarlet and closing the door behind her, not hearing the soft chuckles emitted from the bemused Professor.

* * *

She sank into the clear depths of the tub, until her body and face were submerged and all she could hear was the soothing sounds of her own heartbeat. Soon of course her chest grew tight and she rose to the surface gasping slightly.

It was strange to be in Snape's bathtub. The fact that he wasn't even two rooms away and might hear her unsettled her. So much in fact that she'd conjured up a red bathing suit and was currently bathing in it whilst suspiciously keeping her eye on the door as she lay in the tub.

Oh yes Hermione, he'll come rushing into the bathroom even though he knows your in it.

Hermione had to agree with her inner monologue, but still the suit stayed on.

She grasped the shampoo and squirted it onto her hair, emitting a rather unflattering sound that mimicked that of flatulence. Oh God. Just bloody perfect. She went red, praying Snape didn't hear the sound and assume the obvious. With that unsettling thought in her mind she began washing her hair and humming softly.

When the shampoo was finished and rinsed next came the delicious smelling conditioner that she made sure was fairly full before administering to her hair. She took a large amount of it, lathered it in her hair until it was embedded in her scalp and then leaned the base of her head against the edge of the tub to leave it to do its work.

I'm a married woman now. To think. Not even twenty and I'm hitched. Oh God, no wonder Mum's so horrified. And Dad...I don't even want to think about that.

The water was quite warm, and she felt She let her gaze fall idly on the dress lying flat over the back of a chair. It looked so lonely. So forgotten. She looked back into the tub, her toe playing about with the tub rin she she sighed deeply.

Very kind of Harry to buy that dress for me. I have such good friends.

Soon when she'd felt that she'd been away a sufficient amount of time for Snape to have changed, gotten to bed and fallen asleep she rinsed her hair thoroughly as she drained the tub.

She stepped out of the tub, having the remarkably soothing feeling of warmth and cleanliness as she toweled herself off. She pulled on her pajamas, brushed her teeth and dried her hair with a flick of her wand. But because of it's size and because the spell could only do so much, her hair was still a bit damp, but not too bad. She just didn't want to catch her death from damp hair in the dungeons.

She pulled on her slippers, knowing the room would be frightfully cold and padded to the bedroom door with her belongings, stopping just slightly in front of it.

Should I knock? No. What if he's asleep? He'll just be angry at me for bothering him. Oh bollocks. What if he's changing? No. He'd have wards up.

With that reassuring thought in mind Hermione pushed open the door and held in a gasp. Snape wasn't changing or anything so horrifying it would take Hermione a week at the Pensieve to forget, what startled her was the fact that he was still awake.

He hadn't drawn the curtains around his bed yet, and Hermione assumed it was because he was essedssed in the novel he was currently reading. He sat in what she assumed was his old graying nightshirt under the covers, a book up to his face and a still steaming cup of tea on his nightstand.

She was sure he hadn't heard her come in, and taking that to her advantage she shut the door behind her quietly. She placed her dress and her toiletries on the small chair near her bed and feeling like she was on a rather awkward sleepover slipped into the covers of her cot. She'd began to nestle down in the creaking compartment bed when a voice startled her.

"I thought you'd drowned." Came the sardonic voice of Snape from his bed, and Hermione couldn't help but wonder if he'd been relieved if she had.

"Sorry." She said quickly, hugging the covers to her and lying with her back to him. She didn't really want him to see her in all her damp, frizzy haired glory in her bloody pj's. They weren't at all flattering. They were red, gold and had a small pre ore of a lion on them. Her Mum's idea. She never had to impress anyone with her bed ware before and hadn't given it a thought until this evening.

Snape didn't answer her, his eyes still trained on the book he found quite stirring. He was a bit unnerved that she'd returned so shortly as he assumed she'd be in the bath longer. He hadn't even time to shut the drapes around his bed.

She'd never know how much her presence disturbed him, and now glancing over to her shivering form he didn't feel the slightest revulsion, and instead was rather unsettled in general. He frowned at this, finishing his tea and closing the draped around his bed in a flourish, he still had a remaining light by his bed that allowed him to read quite well.

"We've wedding presents." Hermione said lightly, trying to break the uncomfortable silence as he read on. "Do you want to open them?"

"Now?" he said gruffly as if the idea was beyond absurd. "They're all the way in the living room."

"Erm, No. Tomorrow maybe?"

"You may do so on your own accord." Snape said distractedly, reading his book and flipping the pages on occasion. "I shall be quite busy in my private office and you'll be here all alone with nothing to do."

"What?" Hermione said rather indignantly, amazed at his gall as she rolled over in her bed and glared at the dark curtains. "I'm not a bloody prisoner!"

"Language Granger." Snape said flatly, lying down his book and looking to her direction angrily. He could almost see her face through the drapes. "Listen here, we've just been married. Do you honestly think that as such we'll be up early in the morning acting like we always do? Are you mad? The rumors will only be the beginning. They'll be immediately suspicious of our marriage and that'll only leak out to the Dark Lord."

Hermione fell silent, mulling this unfair prospect over in her head and Snape breathed a sigh of relief.

"But you're allowed to go to your office?" she eventually demanded causing him to pinch the bridge of his nose in an irritated fashion.

"My private office." Snape spat.

"This isn't fair!" Hermione said darkly, almost growling to herself. "This is my flat too-"

"It is NOT your flat too!" Snape seethed furiously at her impertinences. How DARE she? "Don't dissuade yourself into thinking that you're anything but an unwelcome guest overstaying her welcome."

Hermione felt the sting of those words as she realized their significance. She was alone in this room even now. She was guest. This would never feel like home.

"You're so cruel." Hermione said shakily to herself, not caring if he took away points. "I'm stuck here in a coffin with you, and I can't even-"

"Shut up and go to sleep." Snape barked loudly, amazed at the breadth of her rudeness. "This discussion is closed."

Hermione sat in her bed in shock. This was it. Her life. She was doomed to spend a great deal of her life stuck in this flat with him. This realization overtook her and although she covered her face roughly with her pillow, Snape couldn't help but overhear her sobs.

Not that he cared.

* * *

Hermione awoke the next morning with a pain in her back. She moaned lowly and sat up stiffly, clutching at her back and making various faces of annoyance. Suddenly she stopped, disoriented and wondering where the hell she was as she looked around the empty room.

Oh right. I'm married.

Hermione carefully peered at the bed where Snape would have slept and noted with great happiness that he'd drawn the drapes back and made the bed. Thank God for small miracles.

She clamored out of bed, pulling on her school clothes out of habit and tamed her hair as best she could. She looked around for her toiletries and felt a quickening of her pulse as she realized they were absent.

What's he done with my stuff? Hermione wondered in shock as she realized her bags were empty. All of her belongings were missing. He dresses, her clothes in general, everything she had in her bags. Oh God, had he tossed them? Was he that angry at me last night?

She ran out to the hall, looking to his living room, seeing only mountains of gifts from the wedding and feeling her heartbeat slowing. There had to be a rational explanation as to why all her things were missing.

She trudged to the bathroom listlessly, her stomach growling from hunger. She hadn't eaten in what seemed like forever, not since last afternoon at her party.

Maybe he's hidden all your stuff on purpose. He wants to turn you ugly and greasy like him so you'll never leave the dungeons.

She shook her head at the though. What utter bloody nonsense. She walked into the bathroom slowly, hoping to find some toothpaste to rub into her teeth. There was no way she was sacrificing dental hygiene to appease to that monster she had to call a husband.

She noticed there was no mirror in the bathroom, and now that she thought about it...there were no mirrors at all in his flat. Except for a small one she thought she saw on his dresser. Aside from that, nothing.

She looked to the small cupboard, assuming that he must have something in them. Bending down and opening it she held in a look of surprise. All her things were lined up neatly in the shelves.

How did this all happen? She wondered briefly as her heart beat a bit faster. Had Snape done all of this for her? Reality and reason took over and then her answer came to her. Of course. House Elves, who else?

She peered deeper into the cupboard, noticing that her toothbrush rested alongside her toothpaste in the clean looking cupboard. In fact, that only thing that looked like it belonged to Snape was a pathetic, sparse looking green toothbrush that would have made her parents faint on sight.

She walked to the bedroom once more, opening the small wardrobe on her side of the room. All her clothes were hung up, in an arrangement from light colors to dark. My LoThosThose house elves were precise.

Impressed with the recent turn of events, Hermione walked into the hall and grasped her book bag. Dragging it into the living room and plunking herself down on the floor she placed her papers in front of her as she dipped her quill in the inkpot at her side.

Might as well do some work. she thought merril her herself, knowing full well she had the entire day to do so. Surely Snape wouldn't be returning until late in the evening. Anything to postpone seeing me.

Since it was fairly early in the year there wasn't much to do, and soon Hermione found that after several hours she'd completed all assignments, even those not due for a few more weeks.

She stood stretching, rubbing at the newly acquired pain in her neck and paced around the room to release some of the tension. She knew that the dungeons had no windows, and shivered at the coldness of it. She went over and lit a fire with her wand, wondering why there were no accessible matches.

Why bother when you have a wand?

The sound of her rumbling stomach reminded her of how long the time had passed. Seems she'd completely forgotten her hunger as she worked. She looked to the closed living room door in wonder.

How would she get food? Could she summon it? Would it be too risky? She was about to try it when there was a small rap at the door to the living room door. Hermione looked to it in worry, Snape was back so soon?

Before she could even move to open it there was a suddenly appearing blue elf in front of her, slowly appearing and shaking its head as it looked to her dazed a moment.

"Hello Miss Hermione." Dobby said with a smile to the relieved girl who again sat, this time eye to eye with the small creature.

"Hello Dobby," She said looking to his hands where he held a large plate covered in a steel top. "What are you doing here?"

"Dobby was sent by Professor Snape." Dobby said lightly, placing a small tray by her on the floor and taking off the top. A steaming bowl of soup, a sandwich, some salad and a cold glass of milk sat atop it looking all too tempting. Hermione looked wearily to the House Elf, smiling softly.

"Professor Snape sent this? For me?"

Dobby nodded enthusiastically, looking confused as to why she was so puzzled at the sentiment. Remr thr the plan!

"Thank you Dobby." She said taking the sandwich and biting into it whilst still trying to be polite. Dobby nodded emphatically sticking out his chest in pride.

"Dobby is happy to do anything for Harry Potter's friend." Dobby said with compassion shining in his wide, blue eyes. "Dobby is happy in his work."

Hermione nodded, taking some of the sandwich and splitting it in half. "Would you care for some?" She offered gently, holding it out to the elf. He stepped back wearily.

"Oh no Miss Hermione." he said softly, "House elves is working house elves. Now that Dobby is being paid Miss Hermione, Dobby is a hard worker."

"So you are Dobby." Hermione said eating the sandwich politely as she looked to the small elf who waited patiently across from her, probably awaiting further orders. Curiosity soon won her over and she found herself peering at the smiling house elf.

"Dobby, do you often run errands for Professor Snape?"

"Oh yes." Dobby announced proudly, "Professor Snape is only trusting Dobby to do his work. Dobby is only house elf Professor trusts. Winky once tried to help Professor, but Professor is angry at that. He says 'only Dobby is be helping me '."

Figures Hermione thought whilst holding back a giggle at Dobby's pathetic imitation of Snape. No wonder Severus always looked down on her for trying to set the ruddy elves loose. He probably helped sabotage S.P.E.W.

"Well then," Hermione said with a small smile, "I should be thanking you for putting all my things away for me this morning." she added in between bites of her sandwich, stopping as the house elf gave her a confused look.

"Dobby is not putting away your things." Dobby said in a wavering voice, "Dobby is just coming to feed you. Like Professor Snape ordered."

"It must have been another house elf then." Hermione explained gently, looking to Dobby expectantly and nodding. Dobby frowned deeply, offended it seemed.

"Dobby is only one Professor Snape is trusting." he said shrilly, stamping a foot against the floor. "Dobby is only one who knows how to get to Professor's room."

Hermione winced at the octave of the small elf's voice and nodded, trying to soothe it. "Of course Dobby, I'm sorry." she was confused, who else could have put away her things?

"Dobby is going now Miss Hermione." Dobby said, and before his small snapped departure he turned his bulging eyes on Hermione and offered a small, "Perhaps it was Professor who put away Miss Hermione's things?"

Hermione saw as the small elf disappeared, all the time wondering if he might be right.

* * *

Somewhere in the underbelly of the dungeon's of Hogwarts where few people knew a room existed, Severus Snape stood over a cauldron, muttering to himself and looking all together uptight.

He'd had a horrible sleep last night, not able to have a restful slumber when the annoying brat was a few feet away. What if she tried something? What if he said something in his sleep? Did he snore? He'd cast a silencing spell on his bed, but still he was worried the drapes would fly open and he'd be there in all his snoring glory.

She was irritating. Imagine assuming that it was her flat as well.

"Bloody cheek." Snape muttered under his breath, mixing together the crushed leaves and berries until they'd made a fine past in the jar he was clutching. "After all I've done for her."

He was still seething over Hermione's comments the night before. He was also furious over the fact that she'd gotten to him so easily. She was turning out to be worse than bloody Potter when it came to baiting him.

Still he'd gone and done that thing for her this morning.

He shook his head at the thought, resting his forehead on his palm and muttering about is idiocy. The stupid chit would think he was trying to be kind when ae wae was doing was trying to stop her whining.

"Just why should I do anything for her?" he wondered idly, watching the brewing potion in front of him. "Spoiled little twit that one. Probably had everything handed over to her on a silver platter."

He didn't know what had made him place all her things in the house. The bathroom and wardrobe. He supposed her crying last night had gotten to him. So this early morning whilst it was still dark and he in a grogged filled haze had taken her things and had them transported into the right places in the house.

It hadn't taken him more than five minutes, but now in the later evening he was beginning to regret it. She'd assume he was trying to be nice. Tg tog to be his friend. Damn it.

But she wouldn't touch his study, that was for certain.

Wait a moment. Had he locked his study? His mind whirred. He'd gone in there this morning for some papers, trying to be quiet so he wouldn't rouse the annoying brat. Had he warded it? Surely yes.

he' he'd sent her lunch. Actually, it hadn't been his idea. Albus had popped in quite unexpectedly, asking him how everything was going.

"Fine." Snape had replied with ease, "She's in the flat right now, surely doing homework. I've ordered her to remain there for the day so you needn't worry."

Albus had regarded Snape with puzzlement before offering a weak "Well, has she eaten?"

What was he supposed to say? He had to keep Dumbledore's trust. So he'd lied offhandedly going, "Of course, what did you think I was doing? Starving her to death?"

Albus had offered a nervous laugh before answering, "Of course M'boy, don't know where my head was at. Have a pleasant afternoon."

The minute the old fool had disappeared Snape had summoned the frightfully excited looking Dobby.

"House elf." he said detachedly, refusing to call it by a name. "Fetch my wife a decent lunch and bring it to her." Dobby had nodded to Snape -never speaking due to Snape's orders- and bowing lightly went disappearing with a flourish of excitement.

Snape had sneered, assuming that Hermione in her wildish woman muggle imagination would construe this all as glossed over kindness when it was mere obligation.

Now he waited a few more minutes for the potion in front of him to simmer, then placing a testing sample of it into his beaker he topped it, labeled it and placed it in his storage.

Looking to hisket ket watch he realized a large amount of time had passed and that he'd better return home quickly if he was to have a decent sleep before classes.

* * *

"My my." Hermione whistled lowly in the living room that evening, looking to all her parcels and whistling lowly. She'd really brought in a large haul. She attributed this to her birthday along with the wedding. She'd never had so many gifts.

She'd only opened the one's with her name specifically on them. There sti still a few she hadn't opened, one's with Snape's name on them, and some that had their names together on the cards.

Will he want to open them? Her thought was cut short as a loud bellow emitted from the fireplace.

"Good God!"

Snape bellowed as he stepped out of fireplace. Flames jumped all along the end of his cloak as he stumbled out of the fireplace fully and looked around for something to put the flames out with.

Hermione watched in dull horror at her Professor leaping around with fire on the end of his cloak, reminding her faintly of her first year Quidditch spell. She didn't dare laugh.

Suddenly finding something that met his approval Severus began hitting his lit cloak end with Hermione's nearby schoolbook. He'd just floo in to have a nice relaxing sleep and perhaps bath and the bloody girl had gone and lit a fire!?

"That's my school book!" Hermione said loudly, trying to wrestle it from him. tamptamped out the remaining sparks from his cloak and looked to her furiously as he tossed the book aside.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" He growled lowly, pushing her back so harshly she fell onto the sofa. She looked across the room to see that her book wasn't too charred and then looked back to Snape.

"I lit the fire." Hermione said starkly, trembling a bit under his gaze. "Why else do you have one?"

"For floo purposes!" Snape seethed angrily and wishing he lived alone. Suddenly seeing all Hermione's parcels he jealously began nudging them impatiently with his boot. "What is all this rubbish? Pick it up at once! I shan't have my home turn into a ruddy pig pen!"

Hermione stood defiantly, moving her presents back and eyeing him dangerously. "It isn't a pig pen. I was just finishing opening my wedding gifts. The only positive thing about this entire joke of a marriage."

She sat back down on the sofa, promptly ignoring him as he looked to her in wonder, his dark eyebrows furrowed. Moving to the door he turned and said in a childish sulking tone;

"This is the worst bloody thing that has ever happened to me. And that includes following the Dark Lord." He was about to glide out the door when her voice permeated his brain.

"You know," Hermione said loudly from the sofa. "This isn't hard just for you. My family hates me you know! They're ashamed of me for marrying you. I can't see my friends and I've completely missed out on being Head Girl, something I've wanted a very long time. So it's not just you whose suffering Severus! Take a look around!"

The proclamation of his name startled him, it sounded strange coming from her. She'd grasped another present in her hands and was opening it roughly, tearing at the paper with tears running down her cheeks.

Snape's hand fell from the doorknob as he made his way over to her, careful not to glare. Hermione looked to her left, seeing the dark boots coming into view. She looked to his face, he looked torn.

"Perhaps..." Snape said in a low, formidable voice. "I was too harsh."

Hermione nearly gaped at this speech. Snape? Sorry? He didn't say anymore, and had just turned on one heel to leave when she spoke up, wiping her tears.

"I left your presents over there." Hermione said shyly, pointing to the section of the living room where a large amount of gifts sat begging to be opened.

He didn't speak and merely looked over to Hermione, still seated on the floor and sifting through her newly acquired things.

More trash to fill the house up with. he though morosely as he looked at her acquired belongings. My, there was some nice looking stuff there. Why, there was even chocolate. Would he have some?

His attention was reluctantly drawn back to his parcels, his hands itching to open them. But that would mean staying in here with her. Or, he could just take them to his room. No, that would be immature.

Instead in his usual rigid way he walked over to the presents, amazed at how many there were. Grasping an armchair he dragged it over to the other side of the room, his back to Hermione.

She looked up at the sound and bit back a laugh.

He sat rigidly, his body hidden by the chair and began opening his presents. Hermione looked through her own things, reading some of the books she'd been given and looking over a minute to the chair where Severus sat.

She heard the sound of paper being torn, of something being removed and Snape's gentle scoffing. A glass lion was soon tossed over his shoulder and into the fire with a resounding smash.

"Minerva's idea of a joke I assume." Snape muttered irritably to himself as Hermione smirked. She went back to her own gifts, intent on ignoring him but failing.

It was quite comical to tell the truth. For Hermione from where she sat couldn't see any part of Snape, only the back of his chair and the bottom of his feet, and could only hear muttered, "Hmmms" and, "Well that's not very useful is it?"

She smiled softly, thankful that he wasn't too mad about the whole fire incident. He'd been halfway decent. Perhaps women crying did that to him. She'd have to use that in the future.

A good almost quiet half hour had gone by before Snape whirled around in his chair, looking over to Hermione in question but she was engrossed in a book. He seemed to want to ask her something but refrained and instead went back to his parcels.

There was much grumbling and then moments later his head popped out from the side of the armchair, his eyes boring into Hermione's head until she felt his gaze and looked up.

"Get anything good?" she inquired.

"Are there...any more?" he said snobbily, trying to act casual as if he didn't care if there were. Hermione held in a snicker and tried to act innocent.

"Any more what?"

"You know very well what." Snape said haughtily, "Gifts."

Hermione titled her head to the side, pretending to feign minor ignorance. "Oh, I thought you didn't want more rubbish to mess up the house with."

Snape's eyes narrowed into dark slits. "Don't test me Miss...Hermione." he said remembering the rules he himself had made, "I am in a foul mood already because of you. Now, are there any more gifts?"

Intent on keeping his good mood intact Hermione nodded and retrieved the presents by the back wall. She put them in the middle of the two of them and waited for him to turn around in his chair.

A moment passed.

"Well?" he called over his chair as Hermione sat with arms crossed on the sofa behind him.

"They're here." She answered smugly, "But they're for both of us."

She heard Snape sigh, and then viewed as he turned his chair to face her. "What does it matter? Just divide them up."

"But they're for both of us."

"Fine." he said distracted, intent on opening the presents laid before him. This rush of opening parcels was far too enjoyable to refrain from. Why, he hadn't had so many items for himself since he was a boy...at this thought he frowned.

"Give me one." he said irritably as Hermione dejectedly slid him one over the carpet. He grasped the parcel eagerly and like the present glutton he began tearing at the paper fiercely.

"Whose it from?" Hermione asked mildly as she opened the other part of the parcel she'd given him. A knitted sweater from Molly with a giant H on it. Good lord.

"From?" Snape asked confused, taking his attention from the present a moment. "What do you mean, from?"

"What do the cards say?" Hermione said indignantly. Seeing the recognition flash in his eyes she gaped at him. "You mean you've just been tearing the paper off without reading the cards?"

"Why bother?" Snape asked confused at her amazement. "I hate cards."

"But how will you know who to send thank you notes to?"

"Thank you notes?" Snape said in wonder. "What do you mean by that?"

Looking at the absolute puzzlement in his face, and the way he was itching the open the present on his lap, all Hermione could do was laugh at him and did so loudly.

"What?" he growled uneasily as she erupted into laughter, "What's so funny?"

"N-nothing." Hermione said wiping a stray tear from the corner of her eyes, "Nothing at all."

"I wouldn't be the one laughing," Snape said haughtily, "At least I'm not the one with an ugly bloody jumper." with that he tore the paper away from the parcel and pulled out the item inside.

Upon seeing it Hermione burst into more peals of laughter as Snape glared at her. In his hand was a giant green sweater with the initial S on it.

He ignored her, tossing the sweater to the ground beside him. Seeing this Hermione immediately went over to him, seeing as he eredered some parcels and clutched them to him as if she were coming to take them away. He looked relieved as she bent down and picked up the sweater, folding it and placing it beside his chair.

"What are you doing that for?" he questioned irritably. "I'll never wear it."

"It doesn't matter." Hermione said matter of factly. "Molly went to all this trouble for you. All those people whose gifts you laughed at actually went to the trouble of buying them for you."

"So?" Snape said matter of factly himself. "I didn't like them."

"You just can't-" she stopped, suddenly she was at a loss for words and seeing his perplexed look shook her head and went back to her side of the room, opening her next parcel. A muggle toaster.

"What a waste." she sighed miserably, placing it in the neat pile with her other things. Snape looked to it in confusion as if it were as strange as Voldemort in a tutu.

"What's that?"

"A toaster."

"What does it do?"

"It makes toast."

"Toast?"

"You know," Hermione said with a flippant way with her hands. "Toast. The stuff we eat at breakfast."

"I don't eat 'toast' as you so call it." Snape said dismissively, "I buttbuttered bread and eggs."

"Is the bread you eat warmed up?"

"Perhaps."

"Then its toast."

"No." Snape said slowly as if she were a dunce. "It's called bread."

"Toast is bread that's been...warmed up." ioneione motioned to the slits where the bread was placed in the toaster. "See you place the bread there, it warms up and it pops up. That's how Muggles make toast."

"Which is just warmed up bread?"

"Yes." Hermione said quickly, thankful that he'd caught on.

Snape looked confused. "Then why isn't it just called warmed up bread?"

"Because it's no longer bread when it comes out of the toaster." Hermione said exasperatedly. "It's toast."

"Muggles." Snape said under his breath, looking to the toaster thoughly aly a moment. "But we have house elves."

Hermione scowled, "I'm aware of that. This toaster is from my parents."

"The Muggles?"

"Yes." Hermione muttered darkly, "The Muggles."

A few moments passed in which many gifts were opened, there was things for around the house, chocolates, wines (which Snape had snatched away and firmly ordered her she wasn't allowed to drink. Honestly...), books galore and thankfully nothing that could cause embarrassment.

Even Lavender's present had turned out to be a harmless assortment of soothing bath products with a small note that read; Maybe you can get him to wash that hair of his. She'd torn it up after laughing quietly, no point in hurting his feelings when he was being moderately acceptable.

Now they sat across from one another, rather disappointed that all of their gifts had been opened. Nothing more to do. Snape had to admit that she'd been rather tolerable, explaining the Muggle items they'd received, (From Hermione's family.) and actually getting along. She seemed rather akin to obedience and politeness without intimidation. Good.

Hermione had stacked all her things up neatly whilst Snape had his items all around him. He disappointedly looked to Hermione a moment, her eyes downcast as she glanced at her array of gifts. If there was only a way of keeping this calm and good natured moment between them...

"Wait!" He said almost excitedly, much to Hermione's surprise. He stood, making sure he glowered to make up for his exclamation. "There's one more."

He disappeared for a moment, coming back with Lucius' gift. In his euphoric state he'd forgotten Lucius' words in his office and assumed it would be like any other wedding gift.

"Hmm," Hermione said softly, "It's wrapped beautifully."

He clutched the parcel protectively to his chest as she came around to see it closer.

"What?" she asked confused, "t I t I open it?"

"It's mine." Snape said snottily, going to sit down on his chair.

"But, it has my name on it." Hermione argued in awe at Snape's immaturity.

"I told you I don't read cards."

Snape plunked down on his chair, giving Hermione a through triumphant smirk and unwrapping the package. He tore the paper off, looking to the sleek black box and then stopping as he caught Hermione's eyes looking to it in curiosity.

"Here." he said sulking and thrusting it into her hands. "I can't enjoy opening it with you sitting there near tears."

"I'm."
."

"You are." Snape ordered in a low voice. "Now are you going to open it or not?"

Hermione nodded respectfully, sitting back down on the sofa and placing the parcel on her lap. She opened the sleek black lid, not recognizing the name of the store.

She lifted the lid and pushed back the tissue. Suddenly she viewed what was inside and let out a small gasp of surprise. She looked to the card. Lucius, it figured. She went red and slammed the lid back on the box.

"I can't see." Snape said irritated from his chair. "What is it?"

"Er, nothing." Hermione said turning pink and preparing to stand. "Nothing. I should be going to bed."

Snape stood, coming around to the pinkish girl and frowning. "Let me see." he said trying to take the box from her.

"No." Hermione said, amazed at her voice. Telling her Professor no! But still...if he knew why he'd understand. She tugged it from him, noticing how close he was all of a sudden.

"I was polite enough to let you open it Miss Granger." Snape said angrily, his face inches away from her own. She could feel the hot breath on her cheeks and the tip of her nose. "Now let me see it. It's for both of us!"

Being this close to him frightened her, and so she let go of the box in turn the box shook in his hands, letting the top of a racy red lingerie number slide out. It was bright flaming red, almost as red as Hermione’s cheeks. It was lacy, and transparent and left very little to the imagination.

Snape and Hermione stared at the racy garment on the floor rumpled, cut very suggestive and causing Hermione's face to burn as Snape looked to her in a stricken sort of way. She would have laughed if she wasn’t so humiliated.

Oh God... she thought wanting to cover her face but paralyzed by mortification as they stared at one another. Lingerie. I am never going to be able to face him again. I hate Lucius even more. I-

Just as things couldn't get worse, Snape's hands lowered quickly in embarrassment and suddenly a small book fell out of the toppling package. The two of them leaned over in perverse curiosity as they read the title.

Kama Sutra.
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hahahahahhahahahahaa....sorry, I wrote this chapter really late, ecstatic by all the reviews. I love you all. No...I'm not sloshes. I'm just tired and well...I love all the reviews! Thank you thank you thank you! Please don't stop! cheers - a very amused- holden.