As If In Wonderland

“What is it?”, Voldemort moaned at a gentle tap on the door, with his wand he made it open up to show Hermione standing with a tray filled with food and drink.

“Erm, the house elves said you didn’t go downstairs to get any dinner, so I thought should bring you some milord”, she said politely as she rested the tray in front of him.

“I am very busy”

“That’s why I brought it to you”, she smiled before turning to leave.

“Wait. Have you had anything to eat?”, he asked

“The house elves made me some food when I came back here earlier”

“Well that’s not good enough at all, come here and eat”, he motioned for the chair opposite him which she hesitantly accepted.

“Its your food, im ok”

“if you don’t eat you will become ill, you wont look good and most of you will get weak”

“But I don’t look to good at this moment in time milord, Im not likely to lose these looks”, she laughed before thanking him and beginning to eat. “You know what…I cant believe I willingly served you dinner”

“You must be beginning to like me”, he smirked as she raised her eyebrows

“You have changed as well, at least I now admit I have changed but you seem to have done it so I couldn’t notice so much”

“So how have I changed?”

“Well since entering this room you have not shouted at me, tortured me or punished me in any way-”

“-You haven’t done anything wrong”

“That didn’t stop you before”, she lowered her eyes to eat.

“I haven’t changed, you just accepted who I am and what you are and what happens here. Now you have accepted that, I have less reason to be bad to you”

“Though of course you wont mind hurting me whether its with your wand or with your own body”

“I like the variety”, he grinned which she rolled her eyes too. “I sort of missed you when you were at Azkaban, even though you were only gone for about an hour, seeing as the whole night I was having some…fun and I was busy in the morning…it felt strange not having you around”

“So you didn’t miss me, you have just grown used to me”

“And you are probably the only person I have ever see so much of on a day to day basis, you even sleep in the room next door. I think that’s maybe why you not being here was strange”

“you only remembered I was gone in the morning, what did you do last night? Torture a few more people maybe?”

“Actually no, but I may have gotten a bit rough with some muggle girl, when I woke up she didn’t look too good”

“you are disgusting!”

“What? I am the dark lord and I get what I want, if I want a bit of pleasure I get it. Its not my problem if the muggle couldn’t deal with me”

“Maybe you could try not being rough, better yet, you could maybe stop raping girls?”

“its up to the girl if she is consensual or not, either way im going to get what I want”

“You know you hurt me like hell when you did it to me”, she muttered quietly after a few minutes

“You were a virgin, of course it would hurt. Though I admit you were very good”

“I didn’t do anything”

“Yes, but you have a nice figure, I like your personality and you were enjoyable. didn’t you like it?”

“No! what a stupid question”, she stood up moodily, “ill see you later then milord”.

Just before Hermione went to open the door she felt herself being turned around and pinned with her back on the door by Voldemort, it was impossible to struggle as he was strong so she didn’t bother after a short moment as he held her wrists tight.

“Now didn’t I say be respectful, that means don’t be rude”, he whispered in her ear sending shivers down her neck.

“technically you were being rude-”, he silenced her with his lips upon hers, only for a small moment but it made Hermione completely forget what she was annoyed about.
“What did you do that for?”

“What?”

“You, you kissed me!”

“Ah but technically as you didn’t pull away, you kissed me back”, he grinned. “Seeing you get all moody and angry, well I couldn’t help myself”

“you’re the dark lord, the dark lord doesn’t kiss muggle born witch prisoners of his-”

“Well it seems I do, and your not a prisoner”

“What am I then?”

“Im not sure”, Voldemort admitted before leaning in for another kiss, a more intimate one. Hermione didn’t notice he had released her hands and was now playing with her hair with one hand and had the other on her waste. She didn’t even realise she herself had placed a hand on his chest, until she felt his hand move down to her breasts.

“No”, she breathed, “I have to go”, before running out of the door.

Voldemort sat back down at his desk, surprised with himself but still satisfied, he really couldn’t resist kissing her.
What a strange feeling.

Hermione sat under the willow tree in the grounds, she was very cold but chose to ignore it, she had other things to think about.
“I cant believe I just did that, I kissed him back, I kissed him back! Why the hell did I do that!”, she whined to herself. “He is such an evil bastard, why the fuck did that happen! Im so confused, I should be still angry he sent me to Azkaban! But no, I go serving him dinner and give him a kiss for pudding”.

“Sounds very nice”, someone tapped her shoulder making her jump.

“Why do deatheaters always creep up on me when I just want to be alone!”, turning around she made eye contact with Draco Malfoy in his deatheater robes. “What do you want?”

“Well last thing I knew, you were thrown into Azkaban, next minute while im at school the dark lord is called away, I get called to Azkaban when I finished my lessons to sort out the mess you caused and then I find you here, under the dark lords tree. Putting all those together, I guess you had a rough day”

“What do you care?”

“I don’t, I just understand how rough things can get. Its not all fun you know Granger, im a deatheater and im still at school, my job is to help keep the dark lords empire in order and punish those who fail to follow rules and tasks”, he sighed before seating himself on the grass. “Its getting dark and you must be freezing, autumn is already upon us and you just wear dresses, you should wear robes”

“I wear what im given, the cold doesn’t bother me as I rarely come out anyway. Now what is it that you want Malfoy?”

“Just passing, then I saw you so thought id see what you were up to. I only over heard you saying you served someone dinner and then you gave him a kiss”

“You were always nosy”

“So who it? Not a prisoner?”, Malfoy gave her a funny look, “Because maybe you have to give them some dinner, doesn’t mean you should feel obliged to kiss them to cheer them up”

“I have not kissed a prisoner, and neither do I intend to”

“Who then…I cant imagine a death eater doing it, no ones allowed to touch you unless in self defence let alone kiss you without the dark lords permission-”, his eyes widened and Hermione could feel him pushing into her mind. With a loud crack Hermione had Malfoy pushed against the tree without touching him.

“Don’t use legilmency on me. And don’t utter a word about what you may or may not know”, she growled

“What like finding out you have a thing for the dark lord?”, he laughed as he saw her get angry but let out an oomph as she dropped him on the ground.

“I don’t have a thing for the dark lord!”

“So why have you been kissing him then? And why oh why did you drop me, my arse kills!”, he groaned

“Serves you right for being nosy”, she grinned, “anyway I would rather not talk about matters that I am not even sure I understand, especially with a boy who used to be in some of my classes and gave me a hard time!”

“Good point”

“Why am I even talking to you? I have problems, you are the last person I would want to talk to about them”

“maybe its my good looks”, he smirked

“Yes of course it is”, she said sarcastically, “just leave me alone. “And don’t even thinking of mentioning this to anyone, because if I don’t get to torture you first, im in no doubt the dark lord will”, Malfoy paled much to Hermione’s satisfaction.
“Now stop being such a nosy git and go away”

“Fine!”, he moaned before storming off in a huff.

*

“Where have you been?”, Voldemort asked as she entered her room, he was laying back on the bed while reading a book.

“I needed some air milord…why are you on my bed?”

“Actually I own the bed, so its my bed, and I can use my property whenever I wish”, he lay the book down before standing and giving Hermione a kiss which she pulled away from.

“Why are you doing this? What gives you the right to kiss me-and don’t give me all that, that im your property and you can do what you like! Why do you keep acting like this?”, she backed away slowly.

“Well the first time I couldn’t help it, the second time you looked like you needed it, and just now was out of habit”, he smirked as he tried to put his hands on her waist.

“Ok your freaking me out now, what’s wrong with you!”

“Nothing, but id appreciate it if you didn’t imply that im mad”

“So why do you keep kissing me, only this morning you were torturing me!”

“Aren’t I allowed to do both…I think why im being like this is because when I was with that girl last night, I got pleasure, but that was it. Lets just say I enjoy having you around, and you are more interesting, very clever and powerful and also good looking, I have just been lusting for you”, he finally admitted.

“I don’t get it, you hate me”

“You can hate someone and still lust for them you know, but I don’t hate you, Ive already told you im beginning to like you”

“yesterday you hated my guts! Why all of a sudden are you supposedly lusting for me?”

“I don’t know and that’s the truth-I don’t lie. Its only lust I feel for you, have you not for me?”

“No!”

“I know when your lying”

“But I hate you”

“As I said before you can lust for those you hate, yet you do not hate me. I have spent the best part of the day being civil with you”

“I know milord, and I appreciate what you have done for me…”

“ok, ive had enough of these games for today, im in no mood to act childish and have discussions about this sort of thing-”, it was his turn to be silenced by Hermione as she stood on tip toes to kiss him on the lips.

“You look like you needed it”, she breathed before leaning in for another passionate kiss. Hermione stopped thinking as Voldemort pulled her into his room whilst still kissing her, “oh why am I doing this”, she moaned as he began to remove her clothes.

“Curiosity, you want it”, he whispered after a moment as she helped remove his clothes. The moment went fast, and before they knew it, Voldemort was on top of her on his bed, “I never took the chance to admire your body, but I think I can do that another time”.

“It would be easier to stop your lustful advances if you weren’t so damn good looking!”

“I think you would still want it”, he smirked before entering himself into her, “im not a gentle lover”

“I never said you were”, she moaned as she met his movements.

*.

“Morning”, Voldemort stroked Hermione’s hair from her face as she opened her eyes.

“Oh my, did I really sleep with the dark lord?”, she gasped looking around wildly.

“It seems so”, he grinned.

“I cant believe that I did that”, she said, stunned with herself.

“What about me? I just slept with a muggle born prisoner of mine, whom I have tortured and tried to break on many occasions. That has been the first time in a while I have had a consensual partner, see im not that rough”

“You were, I feel like im in pain, and that’s not to mention the bruises”, Voldemorts eyes flickered down her breasts and half her stomach, the rest being covered by the duvet. “But…I enjoyed it. Does that sound strange? I enjoyed being in bed with the dark lord, someone who has made my life hell!”

“At least you enjoyed it, I think I preferred having a consensual partner, and I wasn’t that rough compared to usual…”

“I would hate to see what you are like when you are rough”, she gently covered her breasts what she had just noticed were bare. “Nothing has changed has it though, to you it was just another night of sex”

“No it wasn’t. I am cold, sadistic and a murderer, but that doesn’t mean you mean nothing. I am still your lord, and you will take lessons from me and you will be punished for misbehaviour…but, I would like you to sleep in here from now on”

Hermione thought for a moment, this is too strange…
“Ok”, she replied, knowing it wasn’t a request, but part of her wanted to stay in his bedroom.

“Good…I know what you are thinking, your confused, don’t worry… I once heard from an old fool that sometimes things just happen, no warnings”

“Dumbledore possibly?”, she smiled, “I just cant believe it, im having an affair with a man I cant stand, who has hurt me so much-even just yesterday”

“You only seem to mention my flaws”, he joked before getting up to get changed, Hermione’s eyes widened as she never realised how muscular and…big he was.
“Ill get someone to heal you, you get along with Snape do you not?”

“Yes, thank you”

“Don’t thank me, if you aren’t healed then you will be weak”, he muttered while pulling on some silky boxers, “And I don’t like my property being weak”

“You do realise im not property don’t you? You don’t own me”

“You do realise that you are wrong, I own you as much as I own the bed you lay in”, he smirked at her annoyed expression, “im going to the ministry. Get healed and have some breakfast, then I would like you to research patronus charm in the library”

“Why?”

“Because I told you to, when I get back I want to see how strong yours is-you are not permitted to use magic before then…I will know”, he put on his robe with his wand before making some clothes appear for Hermione.
“I got these for you because I thought they would suit you, I didn’t want to seem like im being generous though…”

“Thank you milord, some of these are beautiful!”, she looked at them while covering herself with his blanket.
“Are you in a good mood or something? You have been kind to me”

“I believe I am. I will make sure Snape comes to heal you within the half hour, he will come here-he is the only person I trust to heal well”

“Thank you, I will stay here then, your bed is comfy milord”, she sighed as she snuggled into the blanket.
“I like you like this milord”

“Don’t get used to it, im just in a good mood…”

“I wont, but I can enjoy it while your good mood lasts”, he grinned before apparating away.
“Fuck! What have I got myself into!”, Hermione cried, “Stupid Hermione!”, she groaned before laying right back on the bed, unsure what to do.
“And the worst part…I enjoyed it”

“Ive been sent to heal you from the dark lord-who was with you last night”, Hermione heard Snape mutter behind the door after knocking twice around 20miinutes later.

“Who are you talking to?”, Hermione replied as he made his way into the room. Snape gave a double take when he saw her, before rushing over confused.

“What are you doing in here?”

“I think you can guess”, Hermione sighed while trying to cover her dignity. “Can we just get this over with?”, Snape didn’t reply but handed over a small vial of potion which she gulped down instantly which got rid of all pain she felt.

“And for any bruises…”, he handed her a cream, “you can do that when I leave, have you got any cuts or anything?”

“No”

“You are one of the lucky ones, you are in pretty good condition, how did this happen?”, Snape asked curiously but still sounding like he cared.

“Well what do you think happened?”

“He got angry with you so raped you to teach you a lesson possibly? I know he has done that a few times”

“Well no. he didn’t get angry, he wasn’t trying to teach me a lesson and he did not rape me”

“You mean?”

“Yes I was consensual! Now im pretty pissed at myself, I don’t need you making me feel worse”, Hermione moaned. “He kissed me yesterday, and then last night I sort of kissed him…its complicated and confusing, I don’t even like him, he’s horrible! But yesterday he seemed nice almost”

“I cant believe that, you of all people, willingly slept with our lord?”

“I enjoyed it though, it just feels wrong, not wrong…just I feel guilty somehow”, she wondered aloud.

“Maybe you just did it out of revenge to the order who basically told you to shove it?”

“no, I don’t know. I really don’t know what to do, he told me everything will stay the same…just I will now sleep in his bed. Oh great, im now his personal slut! That’s why he was all nice! Eurgh!”, she growled. “Now I feel used”

“he isn’t using you, if he was you would be in much more pain than you were before I healed you”, Snape assured her. “Look, im a busy man, I have to go. Just tell me, why do you think you kissed him yesterday?”

“I don’t know, its like he seduced me without actually doing anything. Just forget it, I have to have breakfast and then do research”

“Fine, I don’t do relationship advice, but I believe you should stop getting all overwhelmed, it wont do anything for you. I have to go now, I have places to be, im glad you weren’t seriously damaged, it usually takes longer”

“ok, I shall see you around then-if I don’t get chucked in Azkaban again or I am killed or whatever…”

*

“Good evening milord, a house elf informed me to come down here”, Hermione said as she walked into the hall where Voldemort already stood waiting.

“You are wearing one of the dresses I got you”, he replied while admiring the blue halter neck baby doll dress she wore.

“Yes, well you didn’t give me anything causal to wear”

“I like you in a dress”, he muttered before handing her a wand. “I trust you have been researching the patronus charm and no how it works?”

“yes milord. But I have used it in the past-”

“-oh? Did you manage to have an animal appear to protect you?”

“Yes an otter. Harry taught me-”, she shut up when she the anger flare in Voldemorts eyes for a moment. “Never mind, I have just conjured an otter before, each animal is related to the persons soul and is individual”

“So show me this charm Potter taught you”, he huffed which Hermione couldn’t help but smile at. Turning away from Voldemort and raising her wand, thinking of a happy thought, the day she found out she was a witch was a pretty strong one. “Expecto Patronum!”, a light and an animal prowled round her. Wait, prowled?
“Its not an otter?”

“No, it looks more like a panther, very nice”, he said as he watched the large cat circle her before being extinguished.

“But my patronus is an otter?”

“Not anymore”, he grinned, “you are good at the charm, im surprised-”

“But how did it change!”, she cried.

“Things change, as do patronus’s if there is a big change in ones life”

“Well coming here must have made a much bigger impact than I originally thought”, she whispered, “why a panther?”

“Because you are brave, strong, powerful and seductive”

“What do you know about patronus’s? its not like you have ever conjured one!”

“Why wouldn’t I have?”

“Because you need happy thoughts?”, she raised an eyebrow.

“Expecto patronum!”, he boomed, a sliver and a slide of a massive snake was possible to see, he extinguished it almost as soon as he made it. “I am capable of happy thoughts”

“What is your happy thought?”, she asked curiously.

“I shall tell you if you tell me yours”, he smirked.

“Fine. I thought about when I first became a witch-maybe not a big deal to you but it was for me”

“That’s strange, that’s the thought I had…learning I was a wizard”

“Really? Not killing Harry as I would assume?”

“Don’t say that boys name! and no, it was satisfying, it didn’t make me happy”, he laughed.

“good to know”, she said sarcastically under her breath. “Ok, Ive shown you what I can do, why was you so desperate for me to learn it?”

“I just wanted to see what your patronus looks like”, he grinned before going over to give her a kiss on her forehead. “We will carry on with our lessons in the morning, today I just wanted to come back here and use you all night-”

“-use me, yeah I get it milord”, she cut in annoyed, “id rather go to bed now im tired. My own bed”

“that’s a shame, because you sleep in my bed from now on and you will only go to bed when I say. Why are you annoyed?”

“because im not a slut who will just be used whenever you feel like it! You may be my lord, but I am not your personal sex slave!”, she growled. “I wish I didn’t kiss you yesterday, then I wouldn’t have all this bother and confusion now!”

“Careful”, he narrowed his eyes. “You will not speak to me as you do. You are the most ungrateful girl! I give you so much, I have even been nice to you and allowed you to sleep in my bed when I could just chuck you in the dungeons and only bring you out when im bored!”, he shouted scaring Hermione slightly. “I could have forced you to go back to Azkaban, I could have been extremely rough with you last night, I could make every minute of your life hell-because I can!”

“I know”, she said tearfully.

“Don’t cry, I don’t want to see it! Now get out of my sight, ive wasted too much time with you”, he spat.

“Im sorry, I just don’t know what to do. Please don’t make this any harder for me than it already is”, she pleaded. “Please, what do I do? Just accept you messing with my head? Im here to learn from you, for reasons I don’t even know. You are my lord-the dark lord, and I am just the muggle born girl who should be doing her seventh year at Hogwarts to prepare for her NEWT’s. But no, I may sound ungrateful but I don’t care, im here, doing things I shouldn’t be doing”

“You are here because I have decided so”

“Remember that night you raped me? That was one of the worst times of my life, but it didn’t bother you. that’s why I don’t know what to do, and that is why im so confused! Because my life isn’t that important in your eyes, im just a trophy and a puppet, just a toy to play around with when you are bored! Im worth more than that-even if you don’t think so”. she took a few steps back while shaking her head, “Ive changed my mind, if I was able to escape here I would! Though the order don’t seem to care about me, they care more than you”, she cried before running out, dropping the wand on the floor.

“Woman. Now I remember why I never bothered when I was younger”, he groaned before accioing the wand into his hand. “Im way too easy on her, the stupid girl. She needs a good beating or something, seeing as torture doesn’t work”.

“Bad day milord?”, Grindelwald muttered after apparating into the room, Voldemort wasn’t surprised as he was expected, but that didn’t mean his laid back talk didn’t piss him off.

“Actually, it was rather good, it’s the end of the day what wasn’t so. What is it you wanted?”

“I informed you I was coming. I wanted to ask if I could borrow a few bits of equipment? Ive decided to go back to experimenting, its much more interesting…”

“On two conditions you may borrow what you like. One, I will be informed of everything you experiment and any findings, two, you will tell me how to sort that girl out!”

“Giving you trouble I assume”

“Obviously. How is it that I am able to conquer everything, yet one simple girl? She is nothing special, but I am so eager to have her-completely, I want her to want me to have her. Its pissing me off, and she just moans how badly treated she is, and then she switches. Stupid woman, cant stand her, ive never had woman problems in my life and then I get it at this age-whatever age I am!”

“You are around 70 I would think, maybe younger, seeing as im only around a decade older than you. You only look around 30, even younger than that, that potion worked remarkably well”

“It took me 70 years to get where I am, and I cannot believe a teenager is doing this! So tell me, how do I teach her some discipline?”

“Oh, im glad you asked”, replied the smirking expert in pain, though he looked like a polite old gentleman, he was not.

“You are just like your father”

“Until you killed him”

“Nothing personal”, Voldemort smirked, “your father was a great wizard, but he was useless to me. Im surprised you didn’t try to get revenge”

“I prefer serving you than mourning”

“So tell me, how should I teach the girl a lesson without her having an emotional breakdown? I don’t need that, and we seem to be getting along, but she needs to know her place”

“Thinking of doing it the muggle way with a beating milord?”, he chuckled.

“I don’t want to hurt her because I need her trust”

“Then I think you should get someone else to do it for you then”

“Nah, ill leave it, she’s just doing my head in, normally I would just crucio someone because of it, but it doesn’t seem to affect her. I don’t want her harmed, I want respect”

“Then I don’t know milord, I apologise”, he bowed. “I may borrow some things then?”

“Yes, you know where everything is”

*.

“Where the hell is she?”, Voldemort muttered to himself before getting into bed to see she was no where to be seen. Marching into his library, he raised his wand to curse her before realising she was sleeping while curled up on his sofa. Her soft curls framed her face, and her eyes were closed tight yet her lips were pouted and slightly open.
“I could just take you now my sleeping beauty”, he stroked her cheek, “you don’t even realise the lust you stir in me…and yet you complain how hard your life is. Such a foolish girl…if only you knew what I think about, if you accept me, I could make you so much more than you are…just another night like yesterday”.
Voldemort grinned before leaving her where she was, she cheered him up even when she was asleep-though it was easy for her to piss him off just as much.

*.

Hermione’s birthday was only a few weeks later and things had changed.

For one, Hermione and Voldemort’s rollercoaster was still going on but the twists and turns were smoother. And as Voldemort told her, while she slept, he would make her so much more, he intended to when the moment was right.

“Im so tired”, Hermione moaned as she came to sit at the table for breakfast where Voldemort was waiting, wearing just a small night dress and messy hair she moaned before leaning her chin on her hand.

“Morning sunshine”, he smirked as she gave him a dirty look, “you shouldn’t have stayed up so late if you was going to be all tired in the morning”

“You had new books brought in milord, of course I had to have a look!”

“Ah never mind, how is it that you still look perfect even when sleepy? Only your hair is out of place and even that looks good”

“If your complimenting me just so you can have a quickie, forget it”, she tutted. “Can you pass me some tea please milord?”, she yawned, but blinked a few times as he handed her a box instead of what she asked for, “What’s this?”

“You had better open it to find out”, he relaxed into his chair. Hermione gave him an odd look before clutching the box and slowly opening it, fully opening it her jaw dropped as she found a silver chain sitting neatly inside, the pendant was a walnut sized emerald heart with a silver snake twisted round it.

“Its beautiful, why did you get me this?”

“Happy birthday”, he grinned before standing up behind her and placing it round her neck carefully. “You probably forgot it was your birthday, but I didn’t and I thought you should have something”.

“Wow, thank you, I love it…I cant believe you would get this for me”

“You deserve it, you have behaved lately, you have excelled in your skills in magic and also…I wanted to treat you”

“Thank you”, she smiled as she gazed happily at the pendant. “You have been almost kind all the time over the last few weeks, im grateful”

“Almost?”

“You still kill and torture people regularly, your hardly kind”

“Point taken. I like you though, you are interesting and sexy”

“im not sexy, and you told me them things don’t bother you when I first came here”

“I changed my mind”, he licked his lips before stealing hers. “And you are sexy, why else do you think I get like this?”, she shrugged making him laugh.

It really was a happy birthday.
Unexpected.