Wizard's Porn

Jos Glad you like it! I like to go into detail, I like to paint a full 3D picture with plenty background! Thanks for your congrats! A VERY worthy cause!



Chara Thanks for the comment! Though, I think that’s the first cute I’ve got! Lol.



LaBibliographe As soon as the photos are up, the link will be posted!



Well, it’s a first for me too, but I’ve always wanted to write the ‘warrior’s comfort’ thing – seemed a good opportunity.



I think Narcissa might have a good influence on his wardrobe. I can’t see the cardigan lasting long. Lol.



Seriously, the Father could be any of 30 Death Eaters – but your vote has been noted. You’ll have to wait for the end to see why it doesn’t matter! Hold your hippogriffs!



He doesn’t regret losing her when he’s jealous – he’s jealous that he never made her laugh like that. It’s just rubbing his failure into his face.



Lucius and Max are literally two very different people. Max doesn’t have to obey the rules of polite society; oh, it’s hypocritical as Hell, but Lucius is proper when he’s not Max.



Draco might pop in for a minute or two, nothing major.



Thanks for the compliments – coming from a Master, such as yourself, it’s a real confidence boost.



Rini Sheep are sheep. So sad.



Well, the magical tents ARE five star in comparison to the muggle ones! Lol!



Lucius is jealous that he never made Narcissa laugh like that. Though, he’s probably jealous that he hasn’t found love.



Thanks for reviewing!



gorgeousbowneyes Kayos is what my spellceck came up with! It didn’t like cayos! (that’s got a wriggly red line).



Maybe a tad more slash for you – but only a smidge.



*Running*



Nope, him and Kings are just friends – without benefits.



Oh… Lucius is NO sheep, a wolf for definite, but not a sheep. He’s had something so new and wonderful and doesn’t want to let go. He’s not used to being denied.



I have a plot bunny in the making, and it’s a HP/DM – I’ll let you know.



LadyBlueEyes Well, I haven’t been beaten to a bloody pulp for hurting Sev, so I guess I’m safe. It was harsh – but he isn’t dead.



They’ll be ‘together’ soon – but not how most will imagine.



nonentity ahhh… but which is the subplot? The baby or the porn? *wink* Perhaps the smut is just a means to an end?



I’m in two minds as to cure Sev or not, it’s too easy to have Hermione invent something and then, pop, everything’s all OK.



Once their bookings ran out, Max would return to the BDSM stage, and she’d go back to her regular partner, Vince. Its just business.



I thought the glass tub was nice too… mmmm.



Some sweet nothings are heard by the viewers, but the last one wasn’t. They’re spontaneous, and I think that’s what shocked Lucius, he isn’t used to it.



Lady_of_Clunn I’ve not much to do at the moment, so the updates are thick and fast! Lol!



I wasn’t impressed with the end of DH, and I scoffed at the epilogue. Yeah, it finished the books off (dead), but not many like it – especially the non-cannon fanfic authors. So, just about everything I write is anti-epilogue.



Thanks for the information! I’ve never heard of them before! Though, I have to admit to not being a particular D/s participant. Me and my baby are pretty much switches and pretty neutral (or, more accurately, we haven’t tried that aspect of things, past blindfolds and silk scarves and a bit of dressing up – for lack of time to research into it – we don’t want to do something like that wrong and get hurt; though some play has proved very nice).



We don’t see each other enough to have time to really explore things; it tends to be heated and desperate. We know we’ll see each other again soon ish, but it doesn’t stop us going at it like the world’s going to end and we’ll never see each other again. I can’t wait until we both finish uni and move in together and get married – it’ll be like a sexual renaissance as we re-discover everything without the influence of teenage hormones or parents coming home early.



Though, it sounds lovely that you wear it as your wedding ring, shows the love in the relationship. Your hubby has a gem in you, hope he adores you as you do him. Though – if I muck up with the scenes with the D/s relationships – I’d like you to let me know. My research has barely scratched the surface.



Thanks for clarifying! Now I know why you were so offended by the woman at the train station! Not surprising really!



LadyVoldemort87 It’s your birthday – and even though I can’t carry a tune in a bucket I’d sing you happy birthday! And yes, Lucius is wearing a sparkly party hat just for you.



See! NOT just me with the whole ‘if he hasn’t got a nose, what chance did a penis and testicles have?!’



Narcissa is so 2D in JKRs books, I get to play and turn her into something so different in this! (The advantage of not killing her off).



Plenty of fluids the day after for that hangover! Its one thing I’ve never had a problem with – being tee total.



NutsAboutHarry I think you’re a newbie. Welcome to madness, pull up a chair!



I don’t do such simple plots! And it’s never once upon a time… and there’s a story behind that! When I was a munchkin, my Dad would read me a bedtime story and he’d say ‘Twice upon a time, because once upon a time isn’t good enough’… so it’s twice upon a time there was porn with plot. Lol.



Chocolate cake! Hell yes! I’ll update!



meankitty69 When is Lucius ever NOT naughty? I don’t think he CAN behave! Lol.



I’m in two minds with what to do with Sev, healing him is a bit cliché… but I might come up with something. Pun not intended.



mariteri Lucius doesn’t THINK he’s stalking her, but to Sev it’s obvious he IS. He’s obsessed with her – but has no idea of her true identity – he can’t just pounce because he doesn’t know who he’s pouncing on!



Nope, I’ve got Sev and Lu out of commission after Hermione was captured, neither are the Father. Though, people seem really obsessed with wanting to know! In the end, it won’t matter! *tries not to give game away*.



Curiosity’s deadly to felines. (Curiosity killed the cat).







~~ Only a short chapter – I need to keep it moving along.~~







The little cottage in Merlin-knew-where was perfect for Hermione and Lysander, though she had owled Kingsley and attempted to offer him some of her takings from the Theatre for the food that just appeared in the pantry every morning.



Hermione stood in the little kitchen, watching as the animated dish cloth scrubbed at the soapy plates. She sipped at a cooling mug of chamomile tea as she thought.



“Hermione!” Harry yelled through the window, “Come quick!”



She dashed out of the kitchen through the stable-style door, to find Harry panicking while Lysander screwed his little face up and sneezed.



“What happened?” she said, hands on her hips and glaring at Harry.



“Lysander ate half a dandelion.” Harry said, meekly.



“Ah… what? Half a dandelion?” she asked, blinking.



“Yeah, I stopped him eating the rest of it – he ate the fluffy end.”



Hermione knelt down before her less-than-impressed little boy, “Open up, Mister.” She said, sticking her finger into his mouth as he opened wide and scooped out the downy seeds that had stuck to the roof of his mouth, wiping them on a flannel that was permanently tucked into the belt loops of her jeans.



“There, I don’t think you’ll do that again, will you. You didn’t like that.” Hermione chuckled, lifting up the toddler when he climbed into her lap.



“We were blowing the seeds away, and he, well, he didn’t blow.” Harry said.



“Can’t leave you for five minutes.” She muttered, watching as the little lad yawned, showing off his few teeth, before snuggling into her shoulder.



“Ki.” He said, looking at her, yawning again.



“I think its nap time, Uncle Harry tired you out.” She said, carrying him back inside and sitting down on the plush sofa next to the fold out playpen that doubled as a day cot.



“Harry, can you pass me the blanket, please?” she said, opening her shirt and bra for the sleepy boy.



Harry did as he was told; Lysander wouldn’t go anywhere or sleep without his blue blanket. Period. Even drowsy and occupied with the offered breast, the tot still snatched the blanket from Harry with force.



“Don’t snatch.” Hermione administered firmly, her son looked up at her as if she’d grown two heads. “Its not nice.”



“Ki. Mine.” He yawned.



“No snatching.” She clarified before she let him back at the milk.



“Should he still be breast feeding?” Harry asked, he’d always found watching Hermione feed her son to be very uncomfortable; he didn’t find it repulsive, but he thought he was intruding on a very private and personal moment. He looked out of the front window onto the little lawn and flowerbeds.



“He’s eleven months; he’ll be pretty much fully weaned in six months. He only really suckles when he’s tired, he’s on water and cows milk during the rest of the day now… but he’d be on formula at nap times and bed time if it wasn’t me.”



“Talking of nap time.” She whispered, extracting her nipple from a sleeping babe’s mouth before quickly covering herself and laying him in his playpen/cot, the blanket still held tightly in his arms. “Sweet dreams.”



Harry fetched the tea and joined Hermione on the sofa. He loved spending time with his godson; Lysander had never had a garden to run around in before, or dandelions to eat.



“How’s Remus doing?” Hermione asked.



“Last time I saw him he was splattered with green paint, and he and Narcissa were wearing his old clothes, grinning like idiots as they shared a quadruple chocolate sundae at Florean Fortescue’s.” Harry grinned, Narcissa Malfoy had saved his life, and Narcissa Black made Remus smile, she was perfect for him.



Hermione giggled, picturing the scene. “How’s everyone else?”



“Molly’s in the process of knitting you and our dandelion muncher new jumpers, ready for winter; Arthur has discovered the microwave oven, well, four of them after he blew them up… don’t ask. Charlie’s, well, Charlie’s just Charlie; Percy was promoted to manager of Laboratory Supplies Limited in Diagon Alley – and he only stocks cauldrons with bottoms of a set thickness.” Harry rolled his eyes, “Bill, Fleur and the baby are fine, they’ve got photos of the foetus from the healer. Ginny’s off with the Harpy’s again; George is doing okay, and the shop’s doing well; and I’m still not speaking to Ron.”



“Say that again, but slower.” Hermione giggled, before sobering. “Ron still hasn’t apologised?”



“No. He won’t. And until he says he’s sorry for pushing you down the stairs, when you almost lost Lysander, I won’t give him the time of day. The jealous bastard couldn’t accept your decision, fair enough – but there was no excuse for his violence. Even in the heat of the moment, you don’t harm someone you care about, especially when she’s pregnant.”



“I’m sorry.” Hermione said meekly.



“No! Never say that!” Harry hissed, “It wasn’t your fault. Ron’s admired you from afar and never done a thing about it. He tried to make you jealous with Lavender; he tried to impress you and made an arse of himself. All he had to do was be himself and accept you and your choice – and he couldn’t.”



“I was just soiled goods, damaged.” She said, tears in her eyes.



“No! Never! Who said that to you?”



“He did, Harry, he did. Before he pushed me.” She whispered, curling into him as the memories washed over her.



“Ignore the prick, Hermione, everyone else does. Molly wanted you to press charges against him for that day – but she was still so relieved when you didn’t. Molly’s still short with him; and won’t let his string of girlfriends through the door. She’s repulsed by his choice of sluts.” Harry chuckled. Ron didn’t understand why he couldn’t bring his flavour of the month home for Sunday dinner, but that Hermione and Lysander were perfectly welcome.



Harry pulled her onto his lap and cuddled her, resting his head on her curls – that had smoothed brilliantly into shining ringlets after a good haircut, coupled with her pregnancy and post-pregnancy hormones.



That was how Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minister of Magic, found them when he stepped through the floo.



“Oh! Sorry! Didn’t mean to interrupt!” he said.



“You’re not interrupting, but keep your voice down, Lysander’s down for a nap.” Hermione said, getting up from Harry and giving her friend a hug.



“How are you finding the cottage?” he asked, quietly.



“It is wonderful! Its perfect!” Hermione beamed, close to crying at his generosity.



“Good. I never use it anymore, I don’t get holidays; especially since my deputy buggered off.” Kingsley said, glad to see Hermione looking healthy and well fed, and with a slight sun kissed glow to her cheeks. “That’s what I came to ask you about…”



* * * * *



Lucius paced one of the new wine cellars – the dungeons had been ripped out as soon as he possibly could after the war – by his own hands and wand. A pentagram was drawn on the stone floor with five different colours of chalk. In the centre, stood a bamboo, bean-plant tee pee that he’d pinched from the greenhouse; a crystal dangling from its centre on a silver chain. The crystal hovered over a pair of violet French knickers on a black silk cushion, slowly undulating as it tried to trace the location of the magical signature.



The crystal glowed amber, hummed and co-ordinates appeared on a piece of parchment in Lucius’s hand. He smiled.



“Well, Juliet, I’m one step closer.” He’d make his move tonight.



* * * * *



Hermione looked shocked, “Kings, you want me to be deputy Minister? Do you want to stay in office?”



“Yes and yes. I was wondering if you’d work from home? Via the floo to my office.” To Kingsley, it sounded so simple.



“But my signature will be on the papers – won’t it be recognised?” she asked.



“Hermione, your signature has more loops and twists than a deformed corkscrew – most people wouldn’t even associate it with your name. As long as my mark is on the papers, nobody cares!”



“We’d be safe?” she said, looking over at her sleeping little boy.



“There is only Harry and myself who know about this cottage – other than yourself, you’re both perfectly safe here.” He reassured her.



“Alright, Kingsley, I’ll do it – on one condition – you have to accept rent on this cottage, or I won’t take the post!”



“Deal.” He said, shaking on it.





* * * * *



Later that evening, Harry sat on Kingsley’s sofa with a beer (no point going home to an empty house, his other half was on business in Transylvania), going over a few parchments with the Minister before morning; when something struck him.



“Kings, are you really going to take rent from her?”



“Yes, the handshake was binding – but she didn’t say how much, or what I can do with the rent money. I was going to take half the going rate and put it in a trust fund for Ly. Rainy days, and all that.” The head of wizarding politics said.



“How Slytherin.” Harry said, toasting his friend with his bottle.



“I thought so.” Kingsley said, chuckling.