Broken Toy

Warnings: angst, abuse, hc
Author's Notes:
First of all thank you for your lovely comments! I still think it’s frustrating not being able to react upon them on this site! Feel hugged, all of you!!!

And special *hugs* to all of you who followed the fic since months… I can’t believe that it’s now almost half a year. Wow. Can’t believe it…. I never knew it would occupy me such a long time. Or YOU. *g* *hugs again*

Tonight I’m happy to post another chap – much earlier than usual.

I’m sure you’ll enjoy it, *g*


Chapter Twelve

Shaking all over, Harry carried Draco’s semi-conscious body upstairs toward his bedroom. He cautiously placed Draco upon his bed, hoping the mattress wouldn’t cause Draco’s abused backside any pain. He cursed loud when a soft moan was heard. How could he be so clumsy? Every time he tried to be extra careful, it turned out that he did exactly the opposite. So Harry had hurt him. He stared helplessly as Draco’s features contracted in pain.

This wouldn’t do. He had to do something. He had to help Draco. -- Now wait a minute. Since when did Harry call Malfoy by his first name? The excitement of the last hour must had shaken Harry more than he had noticed. But that didn’t matter now. He had to help Draco; at least he had to try.

With all the tenderness Harry was capable of, he turned the maltreated body carefully around until Draco lay on his stomach, but the soft moans didn’t stop.

He dreaded it, but Harry knew exactly what he had to do now. Ignoring the deep breaths his lungs seemed to need, not minding the knot inside his stomach, Harry started to tug at the jacket tightly wrapped around Draco’s torso. He watched the limp figure intently, stopping his movements as soon as he noticed even the tiniest flinch.

Harry didn’t allow himself to feel anything as the tortured skin was slowly uncovered. Although the bedroom was only illuminated by the moon, Harry could identify the dark shades on Draco’s backside for what they were.

For some time Harry stood there motionless, hands clutching the jacket as tightly as he could.

He closed his eyes briefly. His jaws clenched with determination. When he reopened his eyes, he was fixated on the stains on Draco’s bum.

He had to know.

Throwing the jacket aside, he bent over the body. He commanded his hands to grab for the stained cheeks, never allowing himself to think about what he was actually doing. His teeth made an ugly sound when he clenched his jaws once more. When he parted the cheeks, his nostrils flared once.

The next thing Harry was aware of was crouching on the ground, clutching his arms around his waist, and retching until only the sour taste of gall was left in his mouth to spit out.

This… No…PLEASE!!!

Puking had made his eyes water. Disgusted by the nauseating stench and the well known, all consuming build up of anger, Harry struggled to his feet.

He couldn’t afford to be weak. Not now.

Later he would allow himself to let his brain decipher what his eyes had taken in. But not now.

Clearing his vomit away with a swift move of his hand, he faced the pale figure on the bed again.

There wasn’t any time to lose.

Draco needed help, and fast. Harry mastered only a few healing spells, and he directed them all, one after the other, toward Draco in rapid succession.

Some of the minor bruises disappeared. The bleeding stopped, as did the moaning.

“Malfoy?”

Just laboured breathing. No answer.

“Are you all right?”

Whatever Draco was muttering, it made no sense to Harry. But obviously Draco was still in agony. Harry could see the muscles of his body twitching in reflex.

The mattress dipped when Harry sat down beside Draco, more determined than ever.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Draco’s whole body ached. Not that he was unaccustomed to it, but it never lasted long. Sooner or later Pickles would show up, do the healing thing and everything would be all right again.

Just now he didn’t want to leave the sweet shelter of unconsciousness. Let Pickles do what he was supposed to do, and let Draco stay in his abstraction. He had never before been touched this gently…he wanted to prolong the dream-like state he was in as long as he could.

The warm hand, lightly caressing Draco’s shoulder, demanded him to pay attention.

Slowly Draco raised his head. A little disorientated, but nonetheless well aware of Harry sitting beside him, touching him, Draco tried to lift himself up on his elbows.

Pain shot through his insides like hot liquid metal. He started to blink the inevitable tears away the instant they welled in his eyes. He knew he wasn’t allowed to cry. Never show a customer… Never…

It didn’t work. A lone tear fell down. Before he could lose his composure completely, something green appeared in front of his vision.

“Hear me?” Harry’s eyes were imploring.

The well-trained part of him made Draco nod at once.

“Listen,” Harry’s voice commanded. His hand was gently wiping something off Draco’s forehead. Why was it so wet? Why was he lying in a pool of water anyway? Why… But he had been asked to listen.

“Draco. You’re hurt. You’re seriously hurt.”

Draco couldn’t prevent a small smile. Draco… Harry had called him Draco…

“I would like to take you to St. Mungo’s right away, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to find a medi-wizard as quickly as is necessary. And I’m not sure the medi-wizards on the night shift are trained enough to help you.”

St. Mungo’s? Draco didn’t want to go to St. Mungo’s. He wanted to stay here! He wanted to be called Draco again.... He shook his head with vehemence. Oh. But that did hurt…

“Shit, Draco!”

Both of his shoulders were grabbed. The shaking of his body that followed succeeded to make Draco pay attention at last.

“Listen, for heaven’s sake!” Harry’s nose was almost touching his face; Draco imagined he could see the blurred reflection of his own face in Harry’s glasses.

“Do you trust me?”

Draco could just stare at Harry.

The shaking was repeated, this time more fiercely.

“Do you trust me?”

Draco nodded. Timidly, but he nodded.

“Good.”

Harry’s next words poured out of his mouth in a constant stream.

“So, now… If you really trust me I could try and… Well, you know I… Codswallop. I’m talking nonsense, I have to start anew. - You know my cats and dogs, right? And you know my … this fucking power when I lose control? It nearly drove me mental. You know, for years I tried to get it under control. Played around with it. Tested it. Worked myself up on purpose and let small things explode. And, Draco… I found out… If I want to, if I concentrate hard enough, if I just let it out deliberately, it goes the other way. It doesn’t destroy. Oh, no. No... It heals.” Harry was breathing fast now.

“I tried it at first with herbs; later on with little animals, mice and the like. After this, when Jack-o hurt his paws, I was able to… I just had to get him into my arms, concentrate, and it worked! Draco! Do you get me? It really worked! It leaves me drained somehow, but it works!”

Draco flinched when fingernails buried themselves deeply into his shoulders, but Harry didn’t seem to notice what he was doing. Words were still tumbling out of his mouth at a rapid speed.

“I’ve never tried it with… What I mean is… I could try it with you. I haven’t tested it on a human being before, but I have with loads of mammals. Of course, you’re a lot bigger than Jack-o, but… but… I’m sure, I’m absolutely sure, that it will work out…I… I just don’t know what it will feel like, only that it won’t hurt.”

The tight grip on Draco’s shoulders loosened. Instead, thumbs were caressing his strained muscles. Harry’s next words were low.

“Draco. Draco, do you still trust me?”

Draco didn’t have to think about it twice. He wanted to get rid of the pain. Fast. And he just knew that Harry would never deliberately cause him any pain. He simply nodded.

“Good.”

Harry stared at him for a moment, still breathing hard.

“So…” Harry carefully let go of Draco’s shoulders to remove his glasses. After blinking a few times to help his eyes adjust to the sudden altered vision, Harry seemed a little bit flustered.

“Err… I… I’ve got to take you into my arms to … you know…” Harry hectically scratched his neck, suddenly nervous.

“It’s just that I’ve … I’ve got to be as close to you as possible.” This time Harry was scratching his right ear. “It always worked that way with Jack-o, you know. So…”

Shoes were kicked aside. Then the mattress dipped down further when Harry settled down beside Draco. Harry avoided Draco’s eyes when he quickly loosened his tie and flung it somewhere beside him on the ground. “I have to be a little bit comfortable to be able to concentrate…” Harry mumbled apologetically when he opened the first three buttons of his shirt.

“And, before I forget…” still not meeting Draco’s eyes, Harry shifted around to search for a better position. “I’m always tired when I … when I finish. So just don’t mind if … I fall asleep or something. Okay?”

Not waiting for an answer, Harry fumbled one arm under Draco’s chest and pulled Draco’s exhausted body partially upon his own. If it wasn’t for this burning pain in his butt Draco would have relished the feeling of his head being placed gently into the crook of Harry’s neck.

“And… Draco…” Harry’s next words were whispered directly into his ear. “If you feel uncomfortable or if you want me to stop… Anything… Just call my name. Okay? I will stop right away. For you can stop me, you know that. You did it tonight. Okay?”

Draco had already closed his eyes in anticipation. Now that he knew relief wasn’t far away, he had stopped pulling himself together. Giving in, his sinews and muscles relaxed and let the aching take over.

“Okay?” Harry’s urgent question still required an answer.

“Yes.” The weak affirmation was the last Draco was able to manage for some time.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Later on, Draco couldn’t recall exactly what had happened, or how long it actually took.

Harry had been soft in their embrace. Draco had relished the comfortable warmth that emerged from the firm body he was snuggling. It had felt like being wrapped up in a huge, soft woollen blanket. Soon his skin had adjusted to the pleasant temperature, and Draco had relaxed even more.

There was no warning when the warmth increased rapidly.

It had felt like a shock when a fiery hotness started to creep into his veins and started to circulate all throughout his system. Every single little red blood cell seemed to transport heat all throughout his body.

Draco had felt like he was on fire.

Whatever Harry’s so called power was, it was burning Draco inside out. Sweat protruded out of his pores, and not by the familiar little droplets. Draco was soon bathed in a puddle of his own fluid. It seemed as if the heat was pushing all the pain he had ever felt out of his body, with a force he wasn’t able to resist.

He was terrified. The temperature raging inside his veins was still spreading. When he felt Harry’s body underneath him starting to shudder, he seized his arms around Harry with all his might. Harry had said he wouldn’t hurt him…

His heart beat loud against his ribcage. What if something went wrong? What if Harry lost control of it? What if… But Draco had told Harry that he trusted him, and he meant it.

Clutching Harry even more tightly, he felt his body responding to Harry’s tremor. The bedsprings were creaking alarmingly with the escalating vibration of both their bodies.

Harry was moaning, and the spasmodic shudders that followed made Draco want to console him.

Breaking free of their embrace, he frantically got up halfway to get a look at Harry’s face. The corners of his mouth were twitching; his eyes were opened wide, but only the white could be seen.

“Harry?”

Harry’s breath came out in short gasps. The whole bed shook severely because of his convulsing body. Draco was sure the other never heard him.

“HARRY!!!”

Harry started to shake his head, slowly at first, then more fiercely, as if to get rid of something.

“Harry…” Draco sobbed. In his frenzy, he started to shake Harry’s shoulders.

“Are you all right?” Draco didn’t register the whispered response at first. He was far too startled that Harry’s features had relaxed, and that Harry was staring intently, albeit tiredly, at him.

That was when Draco realized that he didn’t feel any pain any more. In fact, he had never felt better.

“Draco… Please… What… Are you…” Harry’s voice was almost inaudible.

“Yes. It’s all right. Everything’s all right.” Draco was eager to answer.

A faint smile played about Harry’s lips before his head lolled to one side, instantly fast asleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Draco jumped out of the bed as quickly as he could. He felt slimy, dirty, and used.

In no time he was relishing the lukewarm water of the shower, extinguishing the remains of disgust and the evidence of defeat.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He felt alive.

Not just living, but alive.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Harry still was fast asleep.

His head was lying in the exact position as when Draco had left him; a heap of crumpled and stained linen surrounded his body.

Draco cursed once more the fact that he wasn’t allowed to clear up the mess with just one casual wave of his hand.

But he had learned to make do. In no time at all he replaced the linen with fresh sheets. He had to shift Harry’s limp body around a lot to do this, but regardless of what Draco did, Harry slept on.

How vulnerable Harry looked without his glasses…

Draco knew he had to leave Harry’s bedroom. He had done everything to extinguish the dirty marks he had left. Perfect Potter looked perfect again.

Harry had saved his life tonight.

Harry would have saved anybody’s life tonight, Draco was sure. It wasn’t as if Draco was something special. He could leave. No sweat.

Without the glasses, Harry’s dark lashes appeared to be longer than usual. Draco bent a bit lower to examine the soft curve of them. His hand shot out, wanting to run over the thick eyebrows, dark as coal. What would they feel like?

Draco knew he had to leave the bedroom. Now.

No.

Draco shook his head to confirm his sudden decision.

He couldn’t leave Harry like this. No, definitely not, especially not in the cramped position Harry was lying in. And with all those clothes… Surely it would be more comfortable sleeping without a belt and trousers on? He’d get him comfortable; Draco owed Harry that much. He was responsible for the exhaustion, after all …

The loosening of the belt was no problem at all.

Why did he have to constantly think of those damn long black lashes when he tried to pull the zipper of Harry’s trousers down? Why were his hands trembling like this? He had seen so many cocks before, unzipped so many trousers. And, given Harry’s stature, there couldn’t be much to look at, anyhow.

Sneering, Draco grabbed the waistband and started to pull. But in his haste, he had seized Harry’s boxers, too.

That lovely, lovely trail…

Thick, black hairs curled up towards Harry’s navel, and down again toward his pubis, with the base of his penis only partially uncovered.

Draco had to leave, and he had to leave now, didn’t he?

He sat down heavily on the bed beside Harry.

His hipbones were protruding, shaping a perfect V on the perfect stomach toward the mass of black curls. And toward the base…

He couldn’t resist.

Cautiously watching Harry’s peaceful face, Draco unbuttoned Harry’s shirt.

He simply had to part the clothes and let his eyes wander about an almost naked Harry.

He couldn’t do it.

Disgusted, he got up and tugged Harry’s boxers up again. After having removed the trousers and socks of the sleeping young man, Draco halted once more.

What if…

It was the chance Draco had waited for.

Carefully, he lay beside Harry’s sleeping form, covering both of them with a single linen sheet. With precise caution Draco cradled Harry’s unconscious body in his arms, and positioned the black head carefully upon his chest. Draco smiled softly. At last he got a chance to grab that incredible shock of unruly black hair…

Draco’s hand slowly slid into the mass of surprisingly soft hair. Instinctively he started to fondle it, every now and then grabbing deeper, touching the warm scalp, and scratching the skin gently with his fingers.

Harry was awake.

He knew it the very instant Harry’s breathing changed.

Slowly, Draco turned his head.

Their faces were so near their noses almost touched.

“You’re all right!” Harry’s smile was shy, but happy.

Harry was watching him, searching his face. Then he stirred, turned around and stretched his muscles. So this was it. Harry would wriggle out of the intimacy of their embrace and tell him to please fuck off.

Draco wasn’t prepared at all to hear Harry’s small, desperate voice. “What did I do? What the hell did I do???”

Draco shifted at once. He propped his head up on his arm to get a better view. “You didn’t harm them. A bit, maybe.” Draco couldn’t resist smirking maliciously. Harry furrowed his brow, and Draco hid his sneer at once. “Believe me, everything’s all right.” Without thinking about it, he started to stroke Harry’s hair again. “The Granger-… Hermione took charge after we left. You can rest assured that she handled everything.”

Still Harry’s eyes implored his with despair. There was just one way to soothe him.

Draco bent down and placed a soft kiss on Harry’s forehead. “Shush…” Again Draco caressed Harry’s forehead with his lips.

“Ahhhh!”

Draco flinched. Harry’s sudden outcry had hurt his ears.

He flung his head up when Harry tossed around, beating his fist on the mattress. Unperturbed, Draco continued to stroke the mass of black hair. When the fist stopped its movement, Draco leaned in again to kiss Harry’s cheek.

He hadn’t anticipated that Harry would turn around at the same time. His heart missed a beat when soft lips grazed his. The featherlike touch was cautious and guarded and caused Draco’s stomach to turn, just like he was an innocent teenager again, experiencing his very first kiss.

Harry’s lips touched Draco’s just once, then went on shyly touching his cheek, his nose, his brow. When the mouth returned hesitantly to his lips again, Draco responded at once.

With unconcealed hunger, he let his tongue run over the slightly opened lips. Ripping open both his and Harry’s shirts, Draco pressed his bare skin against Harry’s chest. Sucking in Harry’s lower lip, Draco made sure Harry couldn’t escape. Not this time.
He immediately grabbed for Harry’s penis, but was unprepared for what he found. He had expected to close his hand on a small, limp piece of flesh.

What he held in his hand was hard, and hot, and huge.

Draco’s satisfied groan was embarrassingly loud. He hungrily parted Harry’s lips with his teeth, making sure his tongue found its way into his mouth. No escape. Not this time.

He moved his hand expertly to join the thrusts of the magnificent member. Stroking the glans with his thumb, and alternatively jerking the foreskin up and down, up and down, Draco’s tongue whirled around the helplessly reacting tongue. Sooner than he expected the penis spilled some wetness.

Draco could feel Harry’s body tightening.

“I’m …sorry,” Harry blurted out between gasps. “I … can’t … I just can’t…”

With a deep groan Harry came into Draco’s hand. Slowing down his movements, Draco made sure to rub in every bit of come onto the still erect member. The sensation of having succeeded at last made Draco almost delirious.

He was still relishing the creamy feeling of come in his hand when he heard the same words over and over again.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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