The Death of a Soul

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Warning: - Again! A strong STRONG warning! Nonconsensual sex within. Please heed this warning if this offends you.


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Chapter Twelve

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Harry stepped back, away from Severus’s embrace and stared. It was the first time that day where he actually looked at his husband for that long. Both were locked in their stance, uncertain of what to say next. Sensing that this would be up to him, Severus gently took hold of Harry’s arm and led him to their large bed. He felt a sharp pull and turned around. The emerald green eyes were completely enlarged and the normally tanned face paled and was shaking rapidly. The older wizard moved closer to Harry, still not releasing his light grip. He gave him a hard but at the same time soft look and nodded once. Harry continued to shake his head, eyes alternating back and forth between the bed and him.

“Harry,” Severus said quietly. “It’s almost over.”

The Gryffindor wizard jerked his arm back to his side. “You keep saying that,” he hissed, anger now renewed.

Severus sighed and glanced away before turning his attention back to Harry.

“I apologise, Harry. I didn’t realise. I suppose I was just trying to reassure you that…”

“Is this all?” Harry snapped, pointing to the bed. “And no more lies. Is this all that is left to do?”

Severus frowned at the accusation of being called a liar, and nodded sharply.

“Is this all?” Harry repeated, enunciating each word.

Again, Snape nodded, this time firmly.

“Fine,” the young man growled and stormed over to the bed and crawled up on it. “Do what you have to do and be done with it.”

Harry lied down on his back and his eyes focused on the covering above him. He could see in his peripheral vision Severus approaching, then felt the bed dip on his right from the added weight. Harry flinched when the duvet on the left side upturned and covered his chest, arms and part of his stomach. He knew only the ‘important’ piece of him was exposed. Harry didn’t know which was worse – his entire body naked or just his most private area. He thought the latter.

Severus bent over and retrieved a medium sized jar that had been placed on the bedside table. Even though he knew that Harry could see what he was holding in his hand, it didn’t tear his young husband’s eyes away from the above canopy.

“I swear I won't use it on…”

“Fine,” Harry spat.

“It will only help you to relax…”

“I said fine!”

Severus closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath. Leaning forward on his left hand, he pressed his knee into the bed and slowly swung a leg over Harry’s prone body. Harry instantly tensed up and closed his eyes tightly. He wasn’t about to watch. Relax, Harry. Just remain calm, his mind kept repeating, but he was visibly startled when he felt a cool substance touch his legs. His breath caught in his throat and for the life of him, couldn’t release it.

“Breathe, Harry,” a soothing voice said as a pair of hands rubbed the lotion up and down his legs.

“Shut up,” he replied in a hoarse whisper. “Don’t say anything. Just… Do it.”

A loud frustrated sigh came out of Severus lips and inwardly, Harry smiled. That small bit of satisfaction Harry felt was gone however, when those hands moved near his hips. He winced and took in a large gulp of air, tightening his eyes even more. Instead of crossing over his stomach, the hands descended back down his legs then slid back up smoothly.

After making a few more sweeps, Harry could tell that whatever was in the cream was working. The clenching in his muscles subsided and his legs dropped limply on the duvet, but the muscles in his upper half were still taut. Harry’s hands fisted the material below him. He flinched slightly when Severus’s hands reached his stomach. Relax, Harry, his mind cried.

Severus hadn’t lied. He stayed away from Harry’s genitals entirely, focusing instead on the surrounding skin. Within minutes, the young wizard’s stomach muscles relaxed and Harry actually breathed a sigh of relief. Severus, taking that as a sign to further his administrations, carefully lifted Harry’s member and lightly stroked it with the gentlest touch. As expected, Harry gasped and snapped his head back, digging it deep into the pillow.

Harry’s body went into an instant anxiety attack, and his mind started screaming, Nonononono!

Severus immediately sensed this and desperately wanted to give Harry words of comfort, but obeyed his young husband’s wishes and said nothing. Instead, he concentrated solely on doing anything and everything to please Harry in the only way he knew how. As they say, actions speak louder than words. It was a long time ago that Severus had partaken in the pleasures of the flesh, but he definitely hadn’t forgotten how. As a matter of fact - if memory served - he was quite proficient in this area. All he needed was a willing participant, which unfortunately, his young husband wasn’t. Severus was mistaken in his arrogant assumption that the young man would yield. Sorely mistaken.

A fact he vowed to rectify.


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Thanks to the enchanted lotion that was running throughout his veins, the rest of Harry’s body was able to calm down slightly, but his thoughts and emotions were still struggling from everything that had happened to him and everything that was now happening. Having his eyes closed wasn’t helping, but if he were to open them…Harry shuddered thinking about that. So in an attempt to resist such an impulse, Harry jerked the pillow out from underneath his head and covered his face. In that instant, he took in a sharp breath when he felt himself being pulled into a moist area. A cold sensation ran through him and he silently prayed that his body’s natural instincts would take over. Such a thought terrified him even more.

His breathing was becoming as laboured as his heart and again Harry prayed that it was because of the slow administrations that he was currently receiving. He tried hard to ignore the fact of who was doing this and focused rather on the memory of someone else. Tears began to well up in Harry’s eyes remembering her - the one that he swore he would never think about again. His arms squeezed the pillow tightly.


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Harry had no idea how much time had passed, but he did know that he should be feeling something by now. Anything. With that thought flowing in his mind, he was suddenly taken back when cool air hit his wet flesh.

“Damnit!” Severus shouted as he jumped to his feet. “What the hell is the matter with you? You’re a seventeen year old, for Merlin’s sake!”

Harry threw off the pillow and blanched when he looked down at his body. Sure enough, it was lying silent between his legs. He quickly covered himself up.

“Why are you shouting at me?” Harry bit back. “How the fuck should I know?” He glared at the older man who was pacing by this time and sneered, “Maybe you’re doing something wrong.”

Severus stopped abruptly and then turned dangerously around. He crossed the room in two strides and hissed, “Don’t you ever talk about what you don’t know. Do you understand?”

Harry’s eyes quickly narrowed and pursed his lips into a thin line. Severus was looming over him and he was clearly waiting for an answer. By the little information that Harry had about his husband, it could be that Severus did have adequate experience with… that. The young wizard glanced away from the piercing dark eyes and blushed.

“Maybe… maybe I wasn’t relaxed enough,” he offered.

“If you were any more relaxed you’d be asleep!”

Severus yanked the white bathrobe off the top of the sofa, which was lying next to an identical one, and flung it on. He tied the cloth belt and stormed over to a table that was by the fireplace. A bottle of wine was conveniently there and Snape poured a goblet full and emptied it down in one gulp before pouring himself another. He walked in front of the sofa and sat down in the middle of it, now completely composed. He stared at the glowing flames, glancing once at the clock that was sitting on top of the mantle. He heard the sounds of fabric rustling and then the pads of bare feet approach.

Harry quickly slid on his robe, tied the belt and moved to the side of the sofa. Severus’s face was frozen and his lips were pressed together, opening only to take a sip of his wine. Harry studied his face trying to determine what could possibly be going on inside his husband’s head since his face betrayed no emotion. For some reason, this aggravated Harry and he crossed his arms.

“Well?”

“Well, what?” Severus replied flatly.

Harry cocked an eyebrow. “Well?” he demanded again.

“Well, what?” Severus snapped, whipping his head around to glare at him.

Harry’s face hardened. “Well? Now what the fuck is supposed to happen?”

The older wizard sighed, glanced up at the clock again and turned to look at the fire. “Nothing.”

“WHAT?” Harry screamed, clenching his fists by his sides. “What do you mean nothing?”

Severus wasn’t affected by Harry’s shouting. In fact he had expected it. “There’s nothing more we can do,” he said softly, glancing back to the clock.

Harry was now in hysterics. “What the fuck does that mean? And why the fuck do you keep looking at the fucking clock?” Severus remained quiet. “Damnit you fucking prick! Answer me!”

Snape abruptly stood and slowly approached him. “What don’t you understand, boy?” he hissed. “It’s too late to do anything else,” he said, pointing to the clock.

It read 45 minutes to twelve.

Harry began to shake uncontrollably. “You said,” he yelled, motioning wildly to the bed. “That that was all that was left to do! And now there’s more? You lying fucking bastard!”

Harry spun around and started storming back and forth in the room. “You haven’t told me anything about anything!” he howled, waving his arms about. “Why do you keep withholding things from me? I have the right to know what the fuck is going on, especially when it concerns me!”

Severus still said nothing. The young husband stormed back over to him and clenched his jaw.

“Now you tell me what the fuck is going on and you tell me now!”

“If we do not consummate our marriage by midnight, the bond will weaken… as well as our powers,” Severus growled.

Harry froze immediately. He blinked several times, mouth agape. The blood finally rushed back to his face and he backhanded Severus with all the strength that he possessed. The older wizard stumbled backwards, rubbing his flaming cheek.

“You…You…” Harry was so furious his mind couldn’t even think straight.

He began marching around the room again. He stopped shortly and whirled around.

“I will never forgive you for this,” Harry finally said, his voice dripping with hatred. “Never.”

“Of that I’m sure of,” Snape said flatly. He knew he had ruined everything. Especially his husband’s trust.

35 minutes to midnight.

Harry advanced quickly. “You will make a vow to me here and now that you will never keep anything from me again. Do you understand?” he said pointing at Severus’s chest.

Snape's pale face went cold, but he managed to nod.

“DO YOU UNDERSTAND?” Harry screamed, his voice causing a chill to run down Snape's spine.

“Yes,” he answered in a low voice.

“Yes, what?” Harry barked.

“Yes, I understand that I will not keep anything from you.”

“Ever.”

“Ever,” Severus whispered, his face turning crimson with shame.

“Good,” Harry said sarcastically, moving so they were nose-to-nose. “I guess you’re turning into a Death Eater tonight,” he mocked.

Severus Potter stared in horror at his young husband’s retreating back, unable to breathe. Certainly he wasn’t serious, was he? He watched Harry throw his robe across the room and crawled to the centre of the bed. He laid down on his stomach, clutching the pillow tightly with his arms. Harry turned his head away and his body became very stiff.

30 minutes.

Severus swallowed hard, finally unlocked his knees and timidly walked over to his prone spouse. He knew as well as Harry did that this was indeed their only choice.


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Severus hated the fact that it had come to this, but he knew he was the only one to blame. He alone planned this. The Life-Debt. The marriage of convenience. The unbreakable bond. Everything. He also took pride in knowing that no one could interfere. It was perfect and his reasons were absolutely justifiable. But in all his planning, he never once doubted his capability to persuade Harry. To seduce Harry. To pleasure Harry in ways the boy never knew existed.

But everything had backfired. He didn’t know who to curse more. Harry. Or himself.


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Severus didn’t have any more time to think. Minutes were dwindling away and he had to act fast. Both of their lives depended on this, but he didn’t want to hurt Harry. His whole purpose was to never hurt him, but instead… he couldn’t think of that right now. He’d think of it later and how he could possibly make it up to his young husband. But the chances were slim and he knew it.

He reached for the relaxant and climbed on the bed, settling in between Harry’s legs, which immediately tensed. He quickly rubbed the lotion all over the young Gryffindor’s body. What Severus didn’t tell Harry was that there was a tube of lubrication in the top drawer of the bedside table. He assumed he would be the only one using it. He was wrong. Again.


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Harry tried as hard as he could to lie absolutely still and concentrate on his breathing. He knew what was coming. He had managed to obtain some detailed information on the mechanics of anal intercourse. A small piece of parchment was conveniently lying on his bed one day. He suspected it was Hermione. But nothing could have prepared him for what happened next.

He felt the cool lotion being caressed into his skin, hands roaming all over his body. His muscles relaxed slightly. He drew in a sharp breath when the inside of his legs were nudged, instructing then to open. He buried his face into the pillow he was clinging to and obeyed. He could do this, he told himself. He had to. Worse than being raped was losing all of his powers.

Two thumbs pried his buttocks apart and Harry could already feel the tears forming in his eyes. He instinctively clenched his cheeks together, but the fingers still were able to wedge into the crease. A glob of substance touched Harry’s virgin entrance and a single finger circled the outside. The young wizard yelped at this intimate touch and he lifted his body to his knees. He scrambled forward to get away from this invasion. He was pulled back by his ankles.

“No!” he sobbed. “I changed my mind!”

He could live without his magic, couldn’t he? His body slid back down and the fingers returned. As a finger pressed at his opening, Harry began pleading, muffled by the pillow. One digit gently entered inside and barely rotated before pushing past his sphincter muscle. Harry arched off the bed but a firm hand pressed into his lower back, urging him down. The strong hand stayed there, holding him in place. Another finger joined the first. Harry jerked his head back and screamed.

“Stop it!”

But his cries were ignored. He began to wail as a third one was added. Harry’s legs squeezed together, against the ones that were blocking his futile attempt to close them. His back was heaving now and he could feel sweat pouring down the sides of his squirming body. Harry started to feel light headed from his accelerated breathing.

“Calm down and slow your breathing,” a low voice whispered.

That was the last thing Harry wanted to hear was that voice, but to his amazement, the words did calm him slightly. He forced his mind to concentrate on the fact that this had to happen. That he had no choice but to accept it.

Harry yelped sharply as he felt his insides being pried open by the three fingers. He just knew he was being ripped into two and blood would be flowing any minute now. The fingers barely pulled out and slid back in without any resistance. His body was ready and he could feel himself turn green with disgust. The hand withdrew and his legs were spread further apart. The time had come.

Harry gripped the pillow so tightly that his clenched fists were starting to hurt and his head drove deeper into the pillow. He started taking deep breaths and tried to convince himself that it was almost over. But then reality hit him instantly as a large blunt object began to probe against him. Harry tried to lift himself off the bed, but a somewhat heavy body covered his whole backside. Two arms interlaced under his and their sweat mingled together.

9 minutes.

The thick erection entered his body excruciatingly slow. Harry heaved in a large gasp of air only to release it with a blood-curdling scream. Pain shot up and down his young body and he instantaneously began to thrash against this savage violation. Never in his entire life had he felt anything more agonising as this. He clawed wildly at the duvet below him, trying desperately to pull away. Throughout all of his failed attempts to flee, he continued to scream. Soon they turned into tearful sobs. It wasn’t until his body finally collapsed from sheer exhaustion that he realised the intrusion had stilled.

Harry’s face was on its side now and he was panting so loud that it pounded in his ears. He thought for a moment that he heard the words “Relax” and “Adjust” but he couldn’t be sure. He did know, however, that the thing inside him was completely inside him. Tears flowed freely now, soaking the pillow underneath him. Harry was finally able to take a deep breath and heard “That’s it” from above. A shudder went through him and began to feel ill at the knowledge that this wasn’t over yet.

4 minutes.

Harry gasped as a slow rhythm began behind him, increasing gradually. He braced himself for the worst, but incredibly the pain had subsided. Perhaps the calming lotion was doing this. That was quickly forgotten though as the slow rhythms turned into thrusts. He pleaded softly, begging this man to stop. His prayers were finally answered because a final thrust plunged in and Harry could actually feel some type of vibration from above and warmness was felt deep inside him.

Harry’s body trembled and then flinched as a pair of lips tenderly kissed his shoulder. A sudden chill covered his back by the cold air hitting his sweaty flesh. It was over. He knew it was over. The weight on his back was gone and his body was starting to shake uncontrollably. He could tell the man rolled off him and was now lying down next to him on his right side. He heard the man whisper something followed by a careful stroke on his arm.

Even though it was meant to be a comforting gesture, Harry jerked away and rolled off the bed, crashing hard on the floor, still holding the drenched pillow. He scrambled to his feet, but his shaking legs gave out and he tumbled the short distance to the ground. He picked himself up again and stumbled several times before reaching the bathroom. He had just made it to the edge of the toilet when the contents of his stomach erupted at full force. He didn’t stop even when there was nothing left to extract and Harry’s sides were beginning to hurt. Like the contents of his stomach, there was nothing left of Harry.

Severus sat on the edge of the bed, listening to the continuous dry heaving, staring into space. He wondered if he could ever look his young husband in the eye again without vomiting himself. He jumped up, grabbed his robe and ran out of the room.


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