Potions in the Moonlight

Remus closed his text book with a sigh. His eyes hurt. Even two days after the full moon his whole body felt heavy and tender, like he'd been pumped full of concrete. The teachers didn't go easy on him, even after the difficult transformations. He knew that with the NEWTs so close he had to keep working.

He pushed his finished Charms essay to one side and looked at James. The other boy was good at essays, but now he seemed distracted.

James sat staring blankly at his potions text. He hated the damn subject and was still wondering why he decided to take Advanced Potions when he could barely pass it on his OWLs.

Remus coughed.

"Do you want to see my notes?"

"No." James said simply and turned to page in his text book as if he was actually reading it.

Hiding the amusement from his voice, Remus poked the book.

"You know that's not even the right chapter?"

James snapped the book shut and glared at Remus a moment before he pulled out his charms book, the Quidditch magazine hidden inside the pages away from Remus view.

Remus sighed again. He loved James, they had been friends ever since their first year and he'd stuck by him through everything... But sometimes it felt like maintaining a relationship with him was intensely hard work.

"I'm going home next weekend... " the letter was still tucked in his pocket. "You know... they like me spending some time at home in the term time..."

"Not surprising. You always where such a Mama's boy." James said though it wasn't intended to be offensive.

Remus blinked. That stung... he didn't like being on the wrong side of James. Usually Sirius and Pete acted as a buffer against Jame's worse moods. But here, alone in the library, it hurt. He laughed bitterly.

"Evans turn you down again?"

James tossed his book down no longer caring if Remus saw the magazine. "No she didn't. I haven't asked her out again she's been avoiding me like I have a case of troll mumps or something." James said leaning forward. "Though that's not my problem."

James looked Remus straight in the eye, looking for any evidence that his friends answer might be a lie. "You're gone an awful lot lately Remus. And I don't believe it's cause of a girl anymore. Tell me Remus.... where do you go and why do you no longer want us going into the Shrieking Shack with you? What has changed?"

Remus balked. This was the conversation he had been dreading for weeks now. He had covered all possible answers in his head before, but now he froze like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming car. James had this effect on him when he got like this.

"I do James! Nothing's changed. It's just... all been so hectic with the exams and you guys keep getting slammed in detention... I just... you know..."

"Don't give me that Remus." He said. "There has been plenty of times every since Christmas break that we've been hanging out with no other plans and you suddenly scamper off like Wormtail around cats."

"I've been WORKING!" Flinching from the Librarian's rebuke. "Maybe you should try the same." Remus pushed himself away from the desk and swept his books into his bag.

James grabbed Remus arm before he could leave. "We all know even you don't work this hard Remus.... you're keeping a secret from us Remus... And whether you like it or not it is affecting our friendship. We all see it... I hope you do too."

Scowling and pulling away, Remus stormed out of the Library. He hated arguing with James like this, but he couldn't help how frustrated it made him. He was right, of course... his relationship with Severus was making him lie to his friends, but what could he do? He couldn't tell them the truth...

Wanting to calm down again he pulled out the letter from his parents. He read it a few times and smiled. Never once had his parents invited him to 'bring a friend'. Could they possibly.... no there was no way they knew about Severus. Sirius had been to his house before. Usually over the summer...

He paced the corridors, wondering where Severus could be, since he wasn't in the Library.

Why was it that he always ran to Severus when ever he was upset. He wondered. No... this wasn't because he was upset it was because he wanted to ask the boy a question... and he wanted to see him. He always wanted to see him. Remus looked down at the paper frustrated. Maybe he should just bring Sirius with him. He didn't want to just spring it on his parents. Course then again sooner would probably be better than later.

But what could he tell them? 'Mum, Dad, this is a boy from school. He's in Slytherin and occasionally when I'm a werewolf we fuck around. But don't worry... I think he likes it.'

He shook his head. A vague idea crossed his mind that he'd check all the bathrooms, but Severus was probably in his own Common Room.

Much to Remus's surprise the boy was in fact in the bathroom. Though not the one he'd expected him to be in. He sat in the girls washroom in one of the stalls reading a book as moaning Myrtle tried to hold out a conversation with him.

"Myrtle, leave him be." Remus waved her away as the ghost went off to sulk in some drain. He stood awkwardly, hovering around Severus, waiting to be acknowledged.

Severus finished the paragraph he was reading before marking the page and closing the book.

"What are you doing here Remus?" He asked. He wasn't annoyed or mad his tone was just.... emotionless.

"Do you want to meet my parents?"

Remus was shocked by what he'd just said. He had been toying with the idea of inviting Severus, and coming clean to his parents. But only standing here, in front of the boy he adored, did it seem to make perfect sense. Of course he should take Severus home.

Severus stared at him blinking a few times as Remus' words sank in. ".... What?"

"My Ma sent me a letter asking me to come home for the weekend, because I didn't come home for Christmas and they are worried about me. And the letter said 'bring a friend'. And... you're a friend, well you're more than that, and I want them to meet you, and Dumbledore said I could bring people home after transformations because I needed the rest and I just wondered if you'd be interested in.... that...."

He blushed and put the letter back in his pocket roughly.

"Are you sure Remus?" Severus asked looking more worried than the werewolf. "I wouldn't want to ruin your weekend with your parents. They probably won't like me."

Grinning suddenly and kissing him on the forehead Remus laughed,

"They'll like you..."

"What if they don't like me for the simple fact that we're... you know..." Severus blushed a bright red at the thought of telling Remus' parents that they where..... where they dating? "Remus.... what are we?" He asked.

Remus adopted the most innocent face he could.

"What we are, Severus? I couldn't possibly begin to fathom what you mean," he laughed. "The only people I've ever brought home are James and Sirius... they know."

"That's not what I mean Remus... I mean.... what are we? Friends? Friends with benefits? what?"

Remus wanted so badly to laugh. After all these long weeks, he couldn't help but find Severus funny... 'Friends with benefits!' He swept a stray hair off Severus's face and smiled warmly.

"Try boyfriend, Sev..."

Severus looked up suddenly to meet his gaze. "I-.... but.... why?" He asked. Who would want to date the greasy git?

Before his train of thought could get out of hand Remus kissed him, trying to remind him how much he was loved.

"I love you Sev... I've told you that before... so why is 'boyfriend' such a massive leap?"

"It's just that... it's a title... it makes it... you know... official." He said looking at his hands as he picked at one of his nails.

Remus swallowed, his hands back in his pockets, his voice awkward.

"Don't you, want it to be official?" God he sounded like a girl right now.

"I just don't want you saying such a thing. Making this promise and then realizing you've made a mistake." He said not looking at him.

"I shan't take back what I've said... whatever happens in the future right now, I love you and you are my boyfriend... " Remus blushed darker, wishing he could sound more nonchalant about this. "So if we stop being together, then you'll become my ex-boyfriend... and that's that."

Severus laughed slightly. "How can you take something serious so lightly?"

Remus looked at him carefully, not sure how to phrase what he wanted to say.

"Because if I took all serious things seriously, I'd have to kill myself..."

Severus looked up at him and Remus realized that what he had said was definitely the wrong thing to say. He knew Severus had issues with the subject, but Remus had no other words to say.

"I'm sorry Severus... but it's true..."

Severus shook his head. "Don't say that." He said.

Remus didn't look away from him.

"You've got to try and pretend nothing's wrong. Because sometimes it feels like you're going to drown... so why not?"... He shook his head and smiled again, sweeping up his satchel from the tiled floor. "So serious things are dealt with lightly and the world doesn't seem so bad... You'll need a permission slip from Professor Dumbledore, I'm sure he'll understand."

Severus sighed. Remus didn't get what he was upset about. "Sure..." He said standing.

Remus waved and headed out the door, back into the hallway.

So oblivious.

----------

Remus was nervous. He was never very good at hiding his emotions. He dawdled in Dumbledore's office, wondering if Severus would even come. They hadn't spoken since the afternoon he invited him. But the Headmaster told him that Severus had indeed asked permission for the weekend and had faith that he would be here.

The twinkle in Dumbledore's eye spoke volumes.

It wasn't long before Severus showed up. He was late yes but it appeared for good reason. Seemed James and his buddies where playing tricks on him again. His hair was a bright magenta pink and his clothing a mismatch of pinks purples and baby blues. As for Severus himself his face was a bright red from embarrassment and anger.

Dumbledore's eyes smiled gently to him.

"Dear me, Mr Snape. Not quite school dress code I fear." He waved his wand and restored the teen's original colouring. "And I fear the Lupins are not expecting such shows of fashion independence. No... school uniform will do."

The Headmaster bustled off to find a gilt jar of floo powder leaving Remus to cast his apologetic eyes over his 'boyfriend'.

"I'm sorry... I tried to warn you, but I couldn't find you all morning..." he whispered.

"I'm sure..." Severus mumbled shaking his hair into his face to see if it had turned back to it's normal colour.

Clutching his jar of gently sparkling powder, Dumbledore made his way to the crackling fire.

"Is that all your luggage Mr Snape?" It wasn't an accusation, simply an observation.

"Yes..." He said. All he had was a backpack and Remus could tell from it's weight and shape that even that probably didn't hold much.

Gently brushing Severus's arm, Remus moved to the fire and took a clutch of powder. He turned and cast a smile to his lover, thanking Dumbledore as he settled into the grate.

"The Willows..." and Remus was gone, in a billow of green flame.

"Enjoy your stay Severus." Dumbledore said as Snape stepped towards the grate. Severus didn't say anything, just mumbled to words Remus had and was gone.

Remus knew his parents would be waiting for him as he tumbled out of the fire. They always did. His father hauled him to his feet, taking his satchel out of his grasp.

"Remus!" His Mother clutched her baby to her, kissing his cheeks and hugging him again. "We thought you were never going to show up."

"Sorry Mum. There was a bit of an accident at school." He said. "Had to wait for Sev."

"Sev?" His Mother pulled away and eyed the fire as it spewed out her second visitor.

Severus landed on the floor a little less elegantly than Remus had and toppled into him sending them both crashing to the floor.

Holding his head and laughing raucously, Remus scrambled to his feet, hauling the lanky teen with him.

"Smooth Severus... real smooth."

He blushed and awkwardly pulled Severus in front of his confused parents.

"Uhh... Mum, Dad... this is Severus."

Severus blushed at his clumsiness and smiled slightly.

Still gripping his hand, obviously sweating and self conscious, Remus gesticulated and stuttered.

"He's my... you know... he's mine... my... boyfriend..."

Remus had never blushed so hard in his entire life. This was not a conversation he ever expected to have with his parents.

Severus turned beat red not expecting Remus to tell them so soon. But it was out now so...

His parents faltered. His Father's eyes darted to to lanky Slytherin's pensive face; his Mother stuttered, was silent for a moment, and then smiled.

"It's lovely to meet you, Severus."
She was entirely genuine. And before Severus could respond, she had pulled him into a heartfelt hug.

Once she let go Severus stood shifting on his spot. He felt awkward standing there in front of Remus' parents with them staring at him knowing that he was Remus'.... boyfriend.

His Mother beamed and said something about tea before leaving the boy alone with Remus's father in the tidy living room. The man spent a few seconds taking in Severus's tie and insignia.

"Weren't there any queers in Gryffindor?"

Severus flinched and looked down at his shoes his hands in his pocket.

Remus's face went red, but he didn't look away from his Father. He moved a little closer to Severus, sensing the older boy's discomfort, and growled.

"Leave him alone, Dad. Or I'm leaving right now."

Severus shifted again and whispered to Remus. "Maybe I should go..."

Remus pulled Severus away from his Father and spoke quietly,

"No. I don't want you to go. Please..."

He tried to mask the obvious anger in his voice but it was obvious that his Father's behaviour bothered him. His parents had always been so supportive of every aspect of his life; from his lycanthropy to his troubles fitting in at school. His Father would come around... Ma would see to it.

Severus nodded a moment later but still didn't seem to happy about it.

John Lupin sighed and made his way to the hallway.

"You're sleeping in separate rooms..."

When he was gone, Remus took Severus's hand and whispered gently,

"There was always going to be some resistance... Dad's a little set in his ways. He was a Ravenclaw... you know... I think this is all a bit awkward for him. We never had, you know... the talk."

"The talk?" Severus asked gripping Remus' hand like a life line.

Remus did his best to make his grin gentle and reassuring.

"Yeah... girls, sex... the talk. That parents give you... well my talk was more along the lines of: 'Don't eat anyone'..."

"I've never had my parents tell me about anything like that..." He said. "I think my talk consisted of my dad throwing a condom at me when I was thirteen and a 'don't knock her up.'"

Remus shuddered. He still had the box his Mum had given him. He could hear her finishing up in the kitchen, and he lent up to steal a secret kiss.

"Please Severus. This will be fine."

Severus nodded. "Sure..." He said nervously.

----------

Remus gently squeezed his lover's hand under the table. His mother passed the potatoes with a smile.

"So, Severus. How are your NEWTs going? Remus doesn't stop when he's home, work work work. It's all a bit over my head really."

"Sev's an absolute genius Mum." Remus said. "Always has his nose stuck in a book. To be honest he's been tutoring me in our study sessions."

His Mother smiled at her son's gushing. She hadn't seen her baby this excited since Professor Dumbledore told him he was going to Hogwarts. She looked to her husband, sat opposite his son and she sighed. He wasn't a conversationalist at the best of times, and he would be no good now.

"How about on you free time Severus?" She asked. "What do you enjoy doing?" Severus looked up from his food that he was just picking at.

"Um... I mostly read a lot." He said.

She laughed warmly and waved her hand to the room; every available shelf and ledge in the house was covered in hundreds and hundreds of books.

"You'll be fine in this house then. Remus could read before he could walk..."

Severus smiled a bit. "That's not surprising." He said even though he knew it was an over exaggeration.

John coughed and put his fork down.

"And your parents?" It was a simple question, but a heavily charged one.

"Sorry?" Severus asked confused by the man's question.

Remus tried to kick him under the table, but his Father ignored him.

"What do your parents do?" The table had gone quiet.

"Um... Well my Mother's a witch... My Father's a muggle. He works part time down at the docks down the street from our house. My Mother is a stay at home Mum."

There was silence for a moment, before Remus's Mother laughed gently,

"Nothing wrong with being a stay at home Mum. I'm "muggle" too, and you wouldn't believe how hard it is to understand what John's going on about some times. It's all wands and hobgoblins and Ministry nonsense..."

She hastily piled some more food on her husbands plate, while Remus smiled at her. His Mother had never made much of an effort to fit into the magical world, she did almost everything the muggle way, refusing to make use of some of the advantages a wizard family should have.

John tilted his head curiously at Severus. "Aren't you a little old for your Mum to be a stay at home Mum?" He asked. Severus paused in his food picking and looked up at him through his hair.

"Um... well... I have seven siblings." He said. "Possibly eight now..."

Remus was still nudging his Dad under the table, knowing Severus would prefer them to talk about anything else but his family. His Mother laughed weakly again.

"Gosh... I don't know how she coped... I had enough trouble with just the one... Remus never stopped."

"That and I went mad once a month..." Remus muttered to Severus.

Severus shrugged. "I guess they figured if they can't afford one then what's a couple more right?" He said looking down at his food. He had eaten maybe a quarter of it and he was already full.

"John! Was that the door. Go check please." His Mother's smile was fixed as she looked at her husband.

"Anna, I am eating."

"Door, John. Now please. It might be Louise. The boys are nearly done anyway. Remus might want to show Severus the area a little..."

John huffed and tossed his fork down before standing up and leaving the room.

"Thanks Mum." Remus said gratefully.

He kissed her on the cheek, took Severus's hand and lead him out into the back garden, through the kitchen door. The afternoon gloom had settled in and Remus sighed, his breath clouding the air as he pulled his jacket tighter. In silence they made their way to the back gate that lead out into the wooded land beyond.

"Where are we going?" Severus asked.

"For a walk..." Remus took a hand out of his pocket to take hold of Severus's frozen hand. "Mum hates tension in the house. She'll be cross with Dad for being harsh... it's not his fault, he's just old fashioned. You know..."

"To be honest I was expecting worse." Severus said.

Smiling and squeezing Severus's hand Remus laughed,

"Yeah... me too... Mum likes you. Which is good. If Mum likes you, then the house likes you. She doesn't really go along with all the House prejudice stuff..."

Severus nodded.

It was another five minutes walk before Remus felt up to speaking again.

"Are you mad at me for asking you to come?"

Severus was quiet for a few moments. "More confused on why you won't let me leave. But I'll stay if that's what you want."

Remus looked away sheepishly.

"It's just... my parents have always made my choices for me... you know where I could go, people I spoke to; school, home, everything was their decision. I just... want to show them that I have my own life, and it includes you."

Severus smiled a him and looked around. They where now completely surrounded by trees the house nowhere in sight.

"C'mon... down here. I want to show you something," Remus let go of Severus's hand and slid down a steep embankment into a hollow in the trees.

Severus nearly squealed as he was pulled down the embankment.

Laughing, Remus slid to a stop and started kicking absently at an old door lodged in an overgrown mound.

"Where are we going?" Severus asked again.

Remus smirking, still kicking at the shabby door.

"We're here."

Severus raised an eyebrow at Remus.

Giving up on the door, Remus scrambled up onto the rise of the mound, watching the sun sink below the red stained trees.

"This is where they used to bring me..." he patted the twisted grass almost affectionately, indicated Severus should sit next to him. "Ministry authorised, doors silver lined... cost all the money we inherited from Nana Lupin..."

"I can imagine." He said. "It's amazing that you're parents would do this for you. Mine would have handed me over to the DRCMC."

Remus shuddered.

"My Uncle Ed told my parents they should have me destroyed... but apparently there's loads of safeguards and stuff around so I didn't go insane... Jesus, the amount of times I had Ministry officials poking about the house, asking me stupid questions, making me take medicines that I didn't want to take. All because Ma told the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures to fuck right off!"

Blushing, Remus tugged at the grass he sat on. His Parents had been what kept him going through his years before Hogwarts, and now there was more tension over his choice of partner. Madness!

Severus sat down next to Remus and looked out at the sunset not knowing what to say.

With a sigh, Remus slipped his arm around Severus's waist. He kinda liked these silences between them, it gave Remus a chance not to sound like an idiot...

"But you know what we do in the Shack... that's mad... and it's got to stop. If anything's going to bring the DRCMC crashing down on my head it's... THAT! My Mum would have absolute heart failure."

Severus looked hurt and stared down at his hands. "I understand... but I like our time.... then...." He said not knowing what else to say. He really did enjoy being beneath the large wolf, being filled by him.

"But it's still not safe..." Remus pleaded with him. He knew he had no power of stopping Severus going to the Shack, all he had was words. "The last time, when I jumped on you... Christ I could have snapped you leg in two! How can..." he shut his eyes, he couldn't say any more. He pulled Severus closer, snuggling against him as if he would never let go.

"I'm just so scared of hurting you... my nightmares are full of nothing else."

"You haven't yet and you won't." He said. "I noticed something that first night. After you.... you know.... you changed. Mooney changed. You became... protective instead of aggressive."

Remus cocked his head, still holding his lover close.

"You think he's... protective of you? Like a mate or something..."

"I don't know what he thinks of me as.... but I saw you change Remus." He said.

Shuddered, Remus scuffed his boots on the trampled grass. It was strange how much time he spent at this spot, even when he wasn't facing transformation. He'd only brought someone else here once... Sirius hadn't quite known what to make of it, Remus's 'little family prison' he'd called it... The sunset was over and the light rapidly fading.

"Please let me come with you next time..." Severus begged knowing that it was only a week away. "Please?"

Remus sighed, kissing his boyfriend's pale face.

"I suppose I can't stop you... ... we'd better head back."

"Do we have to?" He asked kissing Remus a bit harder and pushing him gently to lay on his back.

Grinning up at him Remus said,

"Really? On my 'little prison'? You are an odd little thing aren't you..."

He propped himself up to kiss the older boy, enjoying the feeling of the cold grass and his warm mouth.

Severus deepened the kiss a moment before pulling away to look down at him. "I'm not sure about that 'little' comment but I never denied being odd."

Remus cuddled against his chest to keep out the chill evening air.

"I do love you, you know..."

Severus didn't say anything as he leaned down to kiss Remus again. "Just shut up and kiss me."

((AWWWWWWW.... lol anyway HERE'S NEXT CHAPPY..... More coming soon

Pasha: Bout damn time!
Schiff: Oh who's the one complaining now!
Pasha: Yeah well maybe if you weren't so obssessing over the merchant then we'd have had it up sooner!
Schiff: It's not an obssession it's.... an.... over... liked.... thing of... merchant.... ness.....
Pasha: That doesn't even make sense!!!
Schiff: Shut up...

Anyway more to come soon!))