I, Sirius

TITLE: I, Sirius


AUTHOR: Lady Sirius

PAIRING: RL/SB

RATING: NC17

FEEDBACK: shelley_runyon@yahoo.com


DISCLAIMER: Of course all rights to Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling

- I only wish that Sirius and Remus were mine, other than in my heart!


DEDICATION: To my glorious, talented, wondrous and everlastingly sexy
inspiration - Gary Oldman - and to all those fans whose enthusiasm and kind words keep me going!




I, Sirius
Reflections of the Brightest Star

Chapter XI - Of Teacups and Dresses

When I was about six or seven - or maybe younger, it's hard to tell, when you're that age, a lot of things blend together, you know? One year bleeding into another, cause your consciousness doesn't really change that drastically, not then. At any rate, somewhere about that time in my life I remember being impressed by my cousin Narcissa into joining her for a formal tea party - sort of the way that sailors were impressed into her Majesty's navy, at one time. Do you know they call sailors limeys? In the UK, that is. Or at least they used to. Something to do with scurvy - they kept limes on the ships to keep the sailors scurvy-free, so they became limeys, and then it became somewhat of a derogatory term. I should look that up some time, the etymology, so I'll know for sure. What do you call that thing we use, Remus? Interwebs? Internets? Well, something like that. Remus is the expert, not me. I'm just the pretty face, he's the brains of this outfit. Anyway...

We were at her parents' house, visiting with Cygnus and Druella... well, the adults were visiting together, the children were doing whatever children do when forced into one another's company, which wasn't always a bad thing. Andromeda was reading a storybook to Regulus, something with teddy bears in it having a picnic - even then she had the most wonderful maternal instincts. Unlike her older sister, whom I am grateful never conceived. I'm not sure where Bella was, I half remember her and Roddy slinking out together, but I paid them no attention. Narcissa had taken my hand, and presented to me a piece of pale parchment which bore a handwritten invitation to her tea party. Not that I actually had a choice, mind you, as she took me by my other hand and led me to her play room for the big event. Narcissa's play area was very different from that of any other child's I have ever seen before or since - it was neat and tidy and very orderly, dolls and stuffed animals all arranged just so, books set in their proper place upon her book shelf, in alphabetical order - you could tell that if one came off to be read it would be returned to the exact same space or it would be immediately noticed - and nothing was scattered about, even accidentally. She even had pieces of bric a brac set out on display shelves, spotlessly maintained by the house elves no doubt, and dainty tea sets of fine china.

A table was already set up for our use, upon which sat a Delft blue china tea set, and a plate piled high with little muffins. (No, I didn't recognize china patterns at that age, but it stuck in my mind, and Remus and I have a few pieces of it lying about somewhere, I think). It was the latter which encouraged my participation, as I felt my stomach growl, and which is why I didn't complain when she pulled something over my head, saying I must dress properly for the occasion. It took me a few minutes to realize that she had just shoved me into a dress, but I shrugged it off. I was used to wearing wizard's robes, after all, and this didn't seem much different to me. Maybe frillier. But at that age it had no connotations of sissiness, which another few years would surely add to my perspective - that and the fact that we were in complete privacy and there was no one to make fun of me, so I simply accepted it.

But speaking of dresses reminds me of something that happened the summer that we left Hogwarts. By this time, not only were James and Lily an established item, but they were engaged. I don't think any of us were surprised, not really. After all, we'd born witness to their entire courtship, hadn't we? Watched the rejections, the entreaties, the sarcastic repartee which was their usual method of communication, the back and forth, the sidelong glances, the stolen looks when they thought no one was paying attention, James' frustrated tirades as he stalked back and forth in our dorm and indulged in a bit of wall punching, his continual battle with his hair in his attempts to look pleasing to her - as I said, we were there and we saw it all, and the thing that was most obvious was that no matter what they did or said to one another, it all came back to the two of them in the end - they couldn't stay away from each other. Unlike Remus and I, who never fight, nor exchange a harsh word between us. No we don't. No. Never. Seldom. Not very often...Maybe once in a while.

Remus, you're distracting me again with these asides.

And suddenly, also, we noticed that we began to see less and less of Peter. Although Remus is wont to say that perhaps if we didn't have our heads shoved so far up one another's arses, we'd have noticed it while we were still at school. Which may or may not be true, but it's a moot point. Not that I can honestly say I ever saw him in the company of any of the Slytherin lot back then. Nothing quite so blatant, but you can't tell me they didn't approach him then, they must have, in light of future developments. And you can't tell me that most Death Eaters, at least the ones that went to Hogwarts, weren't members of that particularly repellent house. I can't even properly blame Snape, much as I'd like to pin that one on the greasy bastard, although I still think he's the one responsible for bringing Peter into Voldemort's fold - probably acting under Malfoy's orders, cause he is his lapdog after all - but, as Remus so kindly reminds me, I've not any proof. My response is I don't need fucking proof, I am the evidence of his treachery, and Harry the victim, and James and Lily....

Yes, yes, I know, not going off on that tangent. Not this time.

But that summer, we were two couples very much in love and living together with our respective partners and we had the world by the tail. Or so we thought. Funny how very much we didn't know. The wheels that were already set in motion, the boulder that was about to flatten us all.... But one night we decided to go out to a pub together and unwind a bit from the tensions that were building around us.....

James and Lily had chosen the place, some little muggle bar, in Soho I think it was - did you know that Soho is short for South of Houston? - and it was actually fairly packed with muggles that night. And us, of course. Lily explained that it was because they had something going on called amateur night. And that they were apparently giving trophies for the best amateurs. Amateur whats, I asked, which made Lily laugh, as she explained to me just what was happening. Remus was shaking his head at the idea of performing on a stage, in front of total strangers. Lily too - sometimes I marveled at the similarities between those two - both could be incredibly anal at times, like they had sticks shoved up their bums, you know? No, not all the time, or course. Or I'd have never given you the time of day. Hey, don't tickle me there, you'll make me..... Damn, Remus, no fair.... At any rate, after a few drinks, the stage didn't seem such a scary thing after all, and we were laughing and joking about what we would do if we were to enter. James said that he and Lily would sing together, a romantic duet that would make the tears fall from everyone's eyes. Remus, considerably loosened up, reminded me that when we were still in Hogwarts, he had introduced me to a great deal of muggle writers, among them Willie Shakespeare, and that the two of us had secretly re-enacted scenes from some of his plays. Particularly Romeo and Juliet. Particularly the balcony scene.

Does everyone not see where this is going?

I think we were all pretty much three sheets to the wind, as the saying goes, although just what that really means I can't tell you, but it sounds nautical. Maybe sheets are sails? Regardless, before I quite knew what had hit me, Remus had dragged me over to sign up for this muggle event (don't let him tell you it was my idea, of course it wasn't.... ouch!), and James and Lily had done the same. James laughed that I didn't look very much like Juliet, and of course I indignantly questioned why he assumed that I was playing the part of Juliet, why did he take it upon himself to presume that Remus would play Romeo, that Remus was the alpha in our relationship, the one to call the shots, etcetera - at which point they pretty well all told me to sod off, they knew better - and I couldn't very well keep up the argument for long as they were right of course. And I wasn't exactly dressed for the part, was I? So, then Lily pulled me aside, out of eyeshot and earshot of the muggles, and very cautiously transfigured something of hers into a dress - one of those longsleeves numbers, you know the kind, with the long train. And she glamoured me with make up, hiding my very masculine moustache - and how proud I was of that, wasn't I, Rem, when I first grew it? Used moustache wax on it for a year before he told me he didn't like the stiffness when he kissed me, at which time I discontinued its use. And so we performed the balcony scene for this contest. Or our version thereof. Hang on, I think we might still have a picture of that, don't we? One of the old albums, ah yes, that one. There we are - Romeo and Juliet. Remus looks so handsome! Lily took it while we were performing. I'm amazed I remembered the lines, as plastered as I was, but somehow I did. At least I think I did. Remus says I twisted it around and made it sound like something out of a bad porno. Whatever, we managed to snag second prize, James and Lily somehow managed to back out of it entirely, and altogether it was a very fun evening.

We had a few such, before things got too difficult, too dangerous. James and Lily. Too young, much too young.

What was I talking about before this? I must be offtrack somewhere. Oh yes, the tea party. It wasn't so much that it was a special tea party with Narcissa, but that she and I did get along at one time. I think that was the point. I'm not sure any more. I already mentioned she was my first kiss. Remus says there's still good in her, I should reach out to her, she's family after all. Maybe I will.

I wanted to talk about Hagrid next, but I don't think this is a good time. One of the babies is crying. Hush hush, Grandpa Sirius is coming. Next time. Come give me a hand, will you, Rem? Now I hear two.