But I Won't Do That

Harry stood staring at Ginny’s door for fifteen minutes, and simply could not convince himself to move. He heard voices drifting up from the kitchen, and a shriek he was sure was Hermione’s, but even his happiness that his two best friends were apparently engaged wasn’t enough to distract him from his fear.

I could leave again, he thought, his mind running in circles. I could be on a plane in an hour; I could go to Australia, there aren’t many wizards there. I could recast the Fidelius Charm and never be found again.

Bloody hell, STOP IT, you coward, you’re a Gryffindor! You faced down Voldemort! You killed a basilisk when you were twelve! You suffered through betrayal, hatred and scorn, and every Unforgivable Curse, including the Killing Curse TWICE! This should be nothing! This isn’t…this is…

Harry shivered. I’d rather face Voldemort again than knock on that door.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Harry took two cautious steps forward until he was close enough to reach the door. He raised a hand that was violently shaking, and softly rapped three times on the old oak frame.

The door swung open almost immediately. “Hermione,” Ginny growled, “for a smart witch you’re pretty fucking dense-!” but she stopped mid-scorn when she found herself face to face with Harry.

“N-n-not H-Hermione,” Harry stammered.

The look of surprise that had darted across Ginny’s face was quickly replaced with a cold, derisive one. “Four years hasn’t made you less inclined to state the obvious, I see,” she snapped. “Looks like I owe Hermione a Galleon.” She sneered at Harry’s confused look. “I bet her you wouldn’t have the guts to come near me for a week.”

Harry swallowed. “I almost didn’t,” he admitted in a meek whisper. “But I promised Luna I’d try.”

“Actually keeping a promise? How unlike you,” Ginny said. She smiled nastily at Harry’s wince, and turned away to stalk into her room. She made no move to close the door; Harry chose to take that as an invitation. Not sure he wasn’t about to be dismantled limb by limb, he stepped cautiously inside.

Ginny’s room was austere, to say the least. There was a large four-post bed (unmade), an old-looking desk and chair with a mess of parchment and quills, and a door leading to the adjoining bathroom. That was all; there were no decorations of any kind, not even the old dream catcher Harry knew Ginny used to hang over her bed. Other than matching black and dark red colorings, there wasn’t anything that marked the room as Ginny’s.

Harry’s attention was drawn back when Ginny flicked her wand over her shoulder, and the door slammed behind him. “So,” she said without turning around, her voice practically casual, “Lulu asked you to check up on me? She’s still all terrified I’ll snap any time now?”

“Er…” Harry was a bit preoccupied with the feeling he’d stepped willingly into the lion’s den. “Something like that-”

Ginny started searching through her desk, apparently at random. “I told her to drop it, but she won’t listen.”

“She’s just worried about you.”

“Of course she is. She’s too distracted to be properly afraid like the others.”

“Afraid?”

Ginny glanced over her shoulder and raised an eyebrow. “I would have thought Ron and Hermione would’ve told you everything by now,” she drawled, turning back to her search.

“Uh...all they said was that you were an Auror now…and Luna and Draco both said something about rumors…”

“Rumors, right,” Ginny answered sardonically. “The one about my killing four Death Eaters who’d already surrendered? And maybe the one about how the Wizengamot is too terrified to properly censure me, so they’ve confined me to desk duty so I don’t hurt any more prisoners?”

“Wh-what? No, Luna didn’t give details…” Harry was sweating nervously. “Those are really the rumors going around?”

“Yeah.” With a grunt of satisfaction, Ginny pulled something out from under a stack of parchment and stuffed it into her pocket before Harry could see what it was. Ginny turned, and Harry wasn’t completely surprised to see her wand pointed at him. She looked as enraged as when she’d punched him. “Rumors can be true.”

“Ginny-”

“Don’t,” Ginny snarled, storming toward him. “Don’t say a fucking word! There is nothing you can say, no way you’re talking your way out of here! There is just one thing you’re getting out of this, Harry Potter-” Ginny’s fist slammed into Harry’s gut, sending him to his knees gasping for breath. “-and that is pain.”

Ginny grabbed Harry by the hair; she hauled him upright and shoved him back against the door. A quick slashing motion with her wand and a harsh “Lacerus!” cut through Harry’s shirt and opened a gash across his bicep and chest.

“N-never thought you were the revenge type,” Harry choked out.

“What can I say? You knew me before I had my sense of honor and loyalty stolen! Before I was forced to give up my virginity, before I was betrayed by the one person I ever trusted enough to give my heart to!”

“Wh-wh-what does that mean?”

“YOU KNOW BLOODY WELL WHAT IT MEANS!” Ginny roared. “I loved you before, Harry! Before your stupid Charm! I would have given you everything of me, every second of my life, every breath I had! I’d have thrown myself in front of Voldemort’s curse to save you! But it wasn’t enough for you; you had to take my love and force it back on me! Every day for a year, it almost killed me, watching the love I gave you soar right over your head so you could dive into someone else’s arms! Everything I’d felt for seven years stabbing me in the chest each time I realized I’d never have you for myself! And as if that wasn’t bad enough, I knew that you knew how I felt, AND YOU DID IT ANYWAY!”

Another quick blast from Ginny’s wand slammed Harry against the door, hard. “D-didn’t know…” Harry stuttered, his head spinning. “Hermione s-said you were over me-”

“What? Over you? You don’t get over love!” Ginny shouted.

Despite Harry’s rising fear, he couldn’t stop his heart from flipping upside down. ‘You don’t get over love’? “Wh-what about now? After all this time?”

With a howl of rage, Ginny grabbed Harry by his shirt and threw him bodily at the bed. His back connected with one of the bed’s posts and he collapsed sideways onto the mattress, cringing in pain. Ginny strode forward and grabbed a handful of his hair, leaned down and screamed in his face “If you even suggest I’m still in love with you I’ll rip out your intestines and make you eat them!” She shook his head, almost yanking out Harry’s hair and causing him to yelp in pain. “Do you understand?”

“Yes!” Harry gasped.

Ginny dropped Harry’s head and glared at him, not even slightly mollified. “I’ve got a gift for you, Harry,” she whispered. “I’ve been saving it ever since Ron decided you were alive.” She reached into her pocket and drew out the object she’d dug out of her desk. “What do you think?”

It was a silver amulet dangling from a slim chain, only two inches across and as thin as parchment. Harry’s face lost all color. He started to scramble away, but before he could blink, a few deft flicks of Ginny’s wand had conjured ropes that snagged Harry’s wrists and ankles and strapped his limbs to the posts of the bed. Ginny leapt onto the bed, straddling Harry; “What’s wrong? Don’t like the color?”

“Ginny, please-”

“Please what? Give you the chance to run away again? Let you break my family’s hearts again? That’s right,” Ginny said, noting with satisfaction how stricken Harry looked. “Mum cried for weeks. She only stopped when Percy and his cronies attacked the Burrow and almost killed her! And Ron and Hermione…you use your best friends, and then fake your death without giving them the chance to say goodbye?”

“Stop,” Harry whispered, tears blurring his vision.

“I think you’ll recognize this Charm,” Ginny said calmly. “Love Charms are so much simpler with just two people.”

Harry stared gobsmacked at Ginny. “Y-you can’t be serious! You’re going to bind me to you?”

“You’re such a romantic,” Ginny said condescendingly, leaning in so her face was inches from Harry’s. “But you’ve got the general idea. After this, I’ll always be able to find you. And if you ever do run again, you better pray you remember your magic, Harry, because if I find you, I will kill you!”

Harry swallowed and shook his head slightly. “I’m not going to run.”

Ginny sat back and peered intently at Harry. “That’s right,” she said finally, “because I’m not giving you the chance.” Then she glanced down and her features twisted with disgust. “Sweet Merlin, are you sick?” she sneered, shifting her hips to grind herself against Harry’s half hard cock. “Or did you just never tell us that you like being helpless and in pain?”

Harry flushed deeply. The feeling of Ginny’s body pressed against his was bringing back all the memories of their time together, and he was, naturally, reacting. “You’re b-beautiful, Ginny,” he mumbled before he could stop himself. “I can’t help it.”

Ginny’s expression was half amused, and half something Harry couldn’t identify. “Well, maybe I can do you just one favor,” she said. A few quick waves of her wand, and Harry gasped as his clothes vanished, leaving him completely naked beneath her. Ginny slid back a bit and grasped Harry’s cock hard enough to make him groan. “I don’t suppose I have to ask if you fancy a shag before I take away your choice in the matter.”

“Oh- Merlin-” was all Harry could get out.

“Not so fast,” Ginny muttered with a cutting grin. Another quick wave of her wand, and Harry felt his cock constrict strangely.

“What was that?”

“A deterrent,” Ginny said with a laugh. “Now you don’t get to come until I do-”

“Oh…okay…”

“Three times.” Ginny chuckled at Harry’s expression. From what he remembered, Ginny was surprisingly difficult to bring to climax.

“But…I still feel everything…” Harry grimaced as Ginny squeezed him again.

“Of course you do. You’ll feel everything.” Ginny dropped down and ran her tongue slowly up Harry’s cock, making him whine. “You just can’t come.” Ginny stood up; another quick Charm left her as naked as Harry, who let slip a shocked squeak. “What?”

Harry couldn’t answer. His eyes darted back and forth across Ginny’s body, taking in every scar. They seemed to be everywhere, marring her tanned, freckled skin. Harry grew even harder. “Y-you got all that in one year?”

Ginny followed his gaze, and smirked. “That’s right. Like what you see, huh?” She ran the tip of her wand across a long scar that ran across her stomach; her other hand slipped between her legs and cupped her sex. “You think scars are sexy?”

Harry nodded weakly. “Yours are.”

“Fancy shacking up with Mad-Eye, then?”

Harry wrinkled his nose. “Eurgh…I don’t fancy people old enough to be my grandfather.”

Ginny raised an eyebrow. Then she asked, almost tentatively, “But the scars really don’t bother you?”

“No,” Harry said, meeting her eyes so she could see he meant it. “You’re beautiful, Ginny.” Ginny scowled at him, but Harry decided to push his luck. “That much…I mean, are Draco and Neville like that? Is that- normal for Aurors?”

Ginny sat down abruptly. She slid back and forth along Harry’s straining cock. He could feel the wetness covering him; it felt delicious, and he whimpered with the need to come. “Neville and Draco,” Ginny growled, “have both killed and captured, but neither of them wanted the Death Eaters to suffer. Part of my bloody Gryffindor loyalty,” Ginny said, not quite sneering it. “The ones that made your life hell deserved everything they got.” Another piteous whine slipped from Harry. “Does that turn you on, Harry?” Ginny cooed softly, her words dripping with sensuality. “That we’ve killed to revenge you? Oh, Neville was avenging his parents, and Draco’s just doing his self-imposed penance, but at its heart it was you, Harry, always you.” A roll of her hips left Harry seeing stars. “You didn’t just- kill our innocence,” she gasped, her breath growing short, “you made us kill.” She leaned down until her breasts were pressing against Harry’s chest. Her blue-silver eyes burned into Harry as she began to shake. “I hope- you’re happy-” she moaned- “that you turned me into a killer-!”

Ginny bit the skin on Harry’s chest hard and howled as she came. Her body went rigid and her nails dug into Harry’s shoulders; the palm of her left hand pressed painfully against the gash she’d opened with her wand. When she resurfaced she raised her head and smiled beatifically at Harry. “Mmm, I guess I was wrong. You don’t get off on being helpless…I like having you helpless.”

Harry couldn’t decide which was worse; the ache of his penis desperate for release, or the constricting of his heart, squeezing out his breath. “I’m so sorry.”

“Not yet,” Ginny responded sharply, “but you will be. Two to go, remember?” She stood up and stepped forward until her feet were on either side of Harry’s head; he could see her soaked labia just under her reddish-brown curls. Then she knelt, and shifted until her legs were under Harry’s arms. Ginny didn’t bother saying anything; she grabbed Harry by the hair again, and pulled his head up until his lips met her opening.

It had been a long time since Harry had done this, but he remembered the brief, in-the-moment advice Hermione had given him, when he’d finally gotten his head out of his arse and decided he should reciprocate: “The clitoris, Harry! Or ‘clit’, as it’s colloquially referred to. Right…here, I’ll show you- oh MERLIN! Right there! Don’t stop!”

Within minutes, Ginny was moaning loudly. Her hand clenched harder in Harry’s hair, and she dropped her wand, twisted around and grabbed his cock with the other hand, making him wince. He wanted more than anything to caress Ginny’s body, feel her breasts in his palms, but he was still restrained. Harry sucked Ginny’s clit into his mouth and flicked his tongue rapidly, and Ginny screamed.

“B-bloody- Hell- Potter-” Ginny gasped out shakily, finally dropping Harry’s head. “Been practicing, have you?”

Harry’s mouth was a bit numb, but he answered with a shake of his head. “No.”

Ginny’s expression was loaded with irony and skepticism. She extracted herself, her legs shaking slightly, and slid down until she was laying atop his body. Harry could feel her curls tickling the head of his painfully swollen cock. “And I suppose you expect me to believe you haven’t been shagging girls and boys all over London since you left?”

“I haven’t, Ginny,” Harry answered softly. “Not once until Draco found me. And even then, I was…I really needed to believe I was still wanted back here.”

Ginny looked as though Harry had told her he’d been living in sin with Dumbledore. “You haven’t been with a single woman since the last time you and I-?”

Harry shook his head again. “I haven’t wanted to.”

“But you do now?”

A tear slipped off Harry’s lashes and crept down his cheek. “Yes.”

Ginny stared at Harry for a further moment. Then, without a word, she slid back and wiggled just so, and Harry’s cock was positioned at her entrance. “I haven’t fucked a man since then, either,” she said, and there was no trace of mockery in her voice. Pressing back, her eyes locked with Harry’s, slowly she took him completely inside. She sat up and began rocking her hips slowly; her eyes fluttered closed as she lost herself in the sensations.

Harry couldn’t have closed his eyes if he’d wanted to. The look of bliss on Ginny’s face and the sore, bordering-on-agony torture his cock was enduring was almost killing him. Seeing Ginny’s small, firm breasts bouncing slightly made him pull against the ropes and groan in frustration. “Ginny-” Ginny’s eyes opened and she looked at Harry as though surprised he was there. “Ginny, let me touch you, please!”

Ginny responded by bracing herself and raising up almost completely off Harry’s cock. Then she slammed back down with a growl and Harry shouted “SHITE! ”

A few more times, and Harry was crying and begging, his wrists rubbed raw from straining against the ropes. Ginny stared down at him with a strange expression; finally she reached over to where she’d dropped her wand, and with a quick flick Harry’s arms and legs were free. Harry didn’t hesitate; he began thrusting up to meet Ginny, and she cried out. Harry’s hand cupped Ginny’s breasts, his thumbs flicking over her hard nipples. Their bodies slammed together, and they both cursed and howled and begged…

Ginny’s third orgasm hit her with a jolt and a squeal, and suddenly the Charm holding Harry back vanished. One more thrust and he was coming inside her, screaming his throat raw, crying out “IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou…”

Boneless. Harry felt boneless, like Lockhart had cast another errant spell and stripped Harry of his entire skeleton. He lay completely still, his eyes closed, relishing the feeling of Ginny’s panting body still straddling him, his hands resting on her sweaty thighs. He’d never felt so drained, physically and emotionally.

“Harry!” Harry’s eyes shot open, and he focused on Ginny. Her chest was still heaving from exertion, but her expression was furious, and her hand was clenching her wand so tightly the knuckles were white. “Did you mean to say that?” she snapped out tightly.

“S-say what?”

“You said – shouted – that you love me!” Ginny barked.

Harry shivered, suddenly afraid he was going to die after all. “I- I didn’t mean to blurt it out like that,” he said quickly, knowing he might never get the chance to tell Ginny again. “But I meant it. I love you, Ginny, or I’m in love with you, I have been since long before I left. I know you don’t want to hear it, but…” Harry trailed off as Ginny continued to look murderous. He glanced down to where their bodies met, and licked his lips. Distractedly, he wondered vaguely how Ginny’s small body had managed to take such a powerful orgasm inside of her…

Harry gasped. “Oh- Ginny!”

“What?”

“You didn’t use an anti-pregnancy Charm!”

“I know.”

Harry gaped at Ginny, but she swallowed and averted her eyes. “Was that another way to bind me to you?” No answer. “Ginny, what if you get pregnant?”

“I don’t care,” Ginny said softly. “If it’s yours, I don’t care.”

Harry couldn’t believe she’d said that. If it’s yours… “You- Ginny, do you still love me?” Ginny was silent, but she bit her lip until it bled, and Harry had his answer. “I- I can’t believe it,” he muttered, feeling both elated and helpless. What could he do? Ginny loved him, and he loved her, but how could she ever trust him? How could she ever know he was…? “Ginny, cast the Charm.”

Ginny’s head snapped around and she stared wide-eyed at Harry. “What?”

“Cast it, Ginny. Please. I don’t want to leave you, ever again, and if I did, I’d deserve to die. I deserve it now. I need you to know I mean what I’m saying; I want you to cast the charm.”

“There is no charm, Harry,” Ginny whispered. “It’s just a bauble I picked up. I j-just wanted to scare you into staying.” Her face twisted up and suddenly Ginny was shaking with sobs. “B-because if you l-left again, I d-don’t think I could bear it!” she wailed. She collapsed against Harry’s chest, bawling like a child. “P-please, Harry,” she begged through her tears, “please don’t l-leave me again!”

“No, Ginny,” Harry tried to convince her, “I’m not going to. I only left because I thought none of you would ever want to see me again. Now that I know how you f-feel…” he swallowed his own tears. “I’ll stay with you forever, Ginny, if you really want me; I swear it. I don’t know I’ve got much to offer anymore…but anything that’s left of me is yours.”

Ginny grabbed Harry and kissed him, the first time they’d kissed that night, the first time they’d kissed in four years. It was hungry and fierce, searching for assurance, and Harry thought he could taste all of Ginny’s insecurities and fears on her salty lips. “You r-really mean it?” Ginny asked wetly, clutching at Harry fervently, burying her face in his neck. “Please, tell me you mean it, Harry- tell me it’s real…”

“I meant it, Ginny. I love you. I do, I love you. And I always will.” And he said it over and over until they both drifted off to sleep.

FINITE INCANTATEM