The Death of a Soul

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Chapter Eleven

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Harry was still staring at his new husband and even though he had heard the last question; his mind repeated the other one.

“And? Will it come to that?”

Harry blinked his eyes several times and looked away. So it had now come to this: willingly, or … or … Harry closed his eyes tightly. He didn’t want to think about that. His husband … Severus… had to ... had to ... No. It just wasn’t possible. His eyes fell back to the tall dark-haired man who was still standing with his arms crossed. Harry opened and closed his mouth several times before finally swallowing to quench his dry throat.

“You,” Harry began, noticing Snape's lips tighten. “It was when you were a Death Eater,” he said firmly, though it was rhetorical.

Severus answered anyway. “Yes.”

“And you… you had to…”

“Yes,” came his quick response.

“Oh.” It was the only thing he could think of to say. Harry glanced over to the fireplace.

“It’s not something that I’m proud of, but it was…” He paused. “Required.”

“And now you’re required again,” Harry replied bitterly, still not meeting Snape's gaze.

Severus sighed. “It doesn’t have to be that way.”

The young wizard snapped his head back and glared. “Oh really. Some choice I have,” he scoffed. “Forced to agree to be buggered or just be forced.”

“I will not rape you!”

“You have no other choice, remember?” he hissed.

“Harry,” Severus said softly, taking a small step towards him, and instinctively, Harry took a small step back. He sighed again. “Do you not remember what I told you in your room?” he asked, looking at the ground, now suddenly nervous.

Silence.

“I told you my … preference,” Severus continued. Still no response. Onyx eyes finally looked up to narrowed green ones. “You don’t have to be the one being… buggered.”

Harry furrowed his brows skeptically.

“Do you not see?” he replied in a frustrated voice. “All you have to do is lie there. I will,” he paused. “do the rest.”

Harry continued to scowl. “That’s all?” Severus nodded. “What about this,” he said, pinching the front of his gown.

Snape frowned. “I’m afraid I cannot change that part even if I wanted to.”

“But you don’t, do you?”

“Of course I don’t,” he snapped.

A look of horror crossed over Harry’s face.

“Whatever your preconceived notion about your dreaded Potions master is…” he blurted out but then stopped short. He suddenly huffed, exasperated. “Look, I’m not going to stand here and lie to you.”

“Why stop now?” Harry retorted.

“Shut up!” Severus barked and his white face turned red with anger. “Like it or not, I find you attractive. Is that too much for your young mind to grasp?”

Harry’s eyes almost bulged out of their sockets.

Ignoring his young husband’s surprised and disgusted expression, he went on. “Now. Do you agree or do I have to be forced to do something we both don’t want?”

Harry and his body couldn’t move. This was too much information for him to handle. Snape? Wanted him? He didn’t know if he should feel flattered or just plain revolted. His mind suddenly went completely blank however, as his husband slowly approached. He found his voice at last.

“I,” Harry began, panicking. “I don’t want to be raped.”

“And I don’t want you to be either,” Severus said softly.

Harry nodded his consent and Severus gently took him by the arm and led the shaking young man back to the centre of the room. Harry kept his eyes closed and stopped where he was told, and he knew that they were only a foot apart. If that. Harry felt cold clammy hands touch his neck and heard the man breathing uncertainly, but Harry couldn’t resist hissing at the unwanted touch. Taking another unsteady breath, Snape pushed Harry’s ceremonial robe apart, exposing Harry’s tanned throat. The young wizard’s eyes shot open and watched in terror as his gown slipped down over his shoulders. Harry held his breath and turned his face away, suddenly unable to look at what was happening. His body jumped when a pair of soft lips grazed over his skin. His chest started heaving and his blood suddenly went cold.

“Please,” Harry cried softly, forgetting all about his admission or their ‘agreement’.

He jumped again when two sets of fingers lightly touched his shoulders. Snape gingerly caressed his still-clothed arms, running his hands down and back up again. The young wizard tried to jerk away, but was stopped by a gentle grip and a soothing voice.

“Harry. Try to relax,” Severus whispered. “I swear I won't hurt you.”

But the young husband couldn’t relax; although he thought he was trying. Closing his eyes tighter, he nodded. He heard Severus let out what seemed to be a relieved sigh. Harry flinched when the second clasp was undone. He knew his chest was now exposed and his face turned scarlet.

Just think of something else. Just think of something else, his mind kept repeating, but nothing came to mind. Nothing.

Harry’s body cringed when he felt those lips back on his body, kissing and licking him as if he was covered in something sweet. His stomach churned at that thought. Was there something on him? Was that part of the ‘ritual’? Having your body covered in some sort of substance? Harry’s eyes opened wide but inwardly shook his head. Of course there wasn’t anything on him and that could only mean one thing now, didn’t it? Severus was tasting… him. His body. His skin. He closed his eyes again and began to tremble. This was all too surreal for him.

Harry gasped when fingers touched his stomach and slid underneath the last clasp. Instinctively, he grabbed the pair of wrists attached to them and shook his head frantically, all the while keeping his eyes tightly closed. He couldn’t look. He wouldn’t look. Feeling what was happening was one thing, but actually looking? No. So when he felt the fingers leave his gown Harry sighed loudly, and released his grip on his husband’s. But just as he did, Severus’s hands took hold of his wrists and led them to his side. Just as Snape’s fingers uncurled, Harry’s hands followed them. They both knew he was going to try to stop Severus again.

This time Harry’s arms were placed firmly by his side and pressed into his body. It was clear to Harry that he was being told not to move again. Harry’s head fell backwards and bit his lip. He knew any second now he would be standing naked and exposed to this man. His entire body tensed as the last clasp was released and the gown slid down his body and pooled at his ankles. Harry’s lips parted and started breathing faster and faster and his heart thumped hard in his chest. He sucked in large amounts of air and snapped his head to the side when those hands caressed the front of his legs.

The young Gryffindor couldn’t stop shaking. Any moment his legs were going to give out… he just knew it. Just like he knew if they did, he’d be lying on his back and his legs would be separated and … No! He’d force himself to stand, damnit. He had lived through worse times than this. He didn’t give in then and he won't give in now! And no matter how much this man was going to try and break him, he would fight back with every fiber that he possessed. So he stood up straighter and tried to convince himself that he could do this.

But even though his mind was filled with his new declaration to himself, Harry’s eyes shot open when he sensed a pair of warm lips ghost over his groin. His body tensed automatically, and he berated himself automatically as he heard himself release a pitiful sounding ‘no’. He vaguely caught phrases from Severus after that. Words like ‘relax’, ‘it’s all right’ and ‘I won't hurt you’, but none of them comforted him in his moment of utter humiliation. In fact, it only made matters worse because now a voice was added. And that voice put the image of his hated Professor Snape in his head. His body started to shake from anger, but just as quickly as it washed over him, it was replaced by another feeling. Absolute fear. Harry realised he was going to go mad from all these conflicting emotions.


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Harry’s cock was gently touched and he couldn’t help but cry out. His head flew over to the side, closing his eyes tighter. He knew this was going to happen, but nothing could’ve prepared him for such an intimate contact. Harry found himself opening and closing his fists as his prick was sucked into a hot mouth and a hand tenderly massaged his balls while the other one stroked his trembling leg. He let out another cry and reached out and grabbed Severus’s hair, begging him silently to stop. He wasn’t quite sure if he had pleaded out loud or not because all he could hear was the pounding of his heart. Soon every muscle in Harry’s body ached from his resistance and he felt himself swaying. Harry couldn’t take it anymore.

The terrified Gryffindor was just about to yank the older wizard away, but the mouth that was enclosed around his cock was now gone. He quickly removed his hands from Severus’s hair and covered his face. A small sigh came from below causing Harry to peer through his fingers. There, kneeling in front of him, was Severus who had his head lowered. He almost looked as if he was frustrated but that didn’t matter to Harry at this point. It was over. He timidly glanced down at himself, half expecting his skin to be marred with bite marks or something to that effect. But nothing was there. In fact, it his skin looked completely normal. Harry did notice one thing though. His wet cock was in front of him, hanging limp. He didn’t know if he should be happy or be shocked that his body didn’t respond.

His eyes fell onto the dark haired man again and watched him as he pulled himself to his feet. Harry’s head slightly jerked back when Severus’s hand reached out and cupped his face. His thumb grazed Harry’s cheek and wiped away a fallen tear. The young wizard batted his eyes and it occurred to him that he was crying. He was crying? Harry kept his eyes focalised on his husband’s thumb as it was raised to the older wizard’s lips and slid into his mouth. Was Severus savouring it? Harry’s stomach tightened and suddenly felt ill. But then his anger took over.

“Well? Are you done pawing me yet?” he hissed.

Severus’s soft expression turned hard and glared at Harry through his narrowed onyx eyes. He took a small step back and cleared his throat. That meant one thing. It was Harry’s turn. Harry’s blood ran cold again. His eyes pleaded with Snape for a fraction of a second but another rush of anger went through him. He just wanted this over with and he wasn’t going to waste any more time than he had to. Instantly, Harry grabbed the first clasp and forcefully tried to unlatch it, but it wouldn’t open. Harry scoffed and pulled on it again.

“Why won't it open?” he snapped.

“Because you’re trying to force it,” Severus said flatly.

Before thinking about what that meant, Harry spat, “So?”

He heard the older wizard growl in his throat and saw his lips press into a thin line. Severus stared at him and arched an eyebrow.

“Do you not understand what ‘force’ means?”

“Of course I do!” Harry quickly said. Then he smirked, “Don’t you?”

Snape took one step to him, closing the small space that separated them. He loomed over Harry but the young husband wasn’t about to be intimidated. His emerald eyes locked with the dark ones until Severus backed away without one word being spoken. He nodded once causing the Gryffindor to scrunch his face in confusion. Obviously Snape was biting his tongue. Now there was only one thing left for Harry to do. Undress his husband.


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Harry took a deep breath, gathered all of his courage, and slowly lifted his hands up to the clasp. This time it opened. Part of him was relieved that it opened this easy and the other part of him was repelled because now there was no turning back. He gingerly parted the top of gown, trying desperately not to touch the skin beneath. He pulled it over Severus’s shoulders then reached for the other clasp. It wouldn’t unlatch. Harry dropped his arms by his sides in defeat but two gentle hands guided them back up and pressed Harry’s hands against the man’s chest.

Harry gasped and looked up at Severus, hoping silently that this wasn’t the next move. But the older wizard had his eyes closed and his lips were parted. Yes, it was indeed what Harry had to do. The young man closed his eyes, as well because he did not want to watch. He tried to remember what Severus had done to him and wondered if he had to do the same. He shuddered at the thought of kissing his skin. His fingers felt along the planes of Severus’s chest and quickly removed them when he heard the older wizard suck in a sharp breath of air. Surely this wasn’t hurting him was it? But the soft expression on the man’s face clearly told Harry that he was enjoying it! His face paled.

Harry touched Severus’s chest again, swallowing his pride and justifying his actions as just part of the requirement that he was forced to do. He made a couple more sweeps before attempting to open the second clasp again. Apparently it was enough. The gown immediately slid down Severus’s arms, revealing that the man in front of him kept a fit and firm body. This was something that Harry didn’t really want to know, but it was too late. Pursing his lips tight, he began running his fingers along the equally toned arms then crossed back over to Snape's front.

Harry wondered just how long he needed to do this. He took a chance and fumbled with the last clasp and shockingly enough, it unlocked. The gown fell to the floor and there stood Severus completely naked. Harry turned his head away and once again his arms dropped to his sides, refusing to continue. The young husband almost jumped out of his skin when two strong hands rested on his shoulders and pressed down firmly until Harry’s legs gave way and he dropped to his knees. His heart seemed to skip a beat and panic filled his body.

“No no no no,” Harry implored, shaking his head.

Harry’s hands immediately thrusted in between his legs and his head bent down, chin pressing deeply into his chest. As the reality set in, a wave of nausea went through him. He jerked violently as a gentle hand loosely took hold of one of Harry’s arms. He twisted his arm free, fell backwards and tried to jump up to scurry away. Instantly, he came crashing back down, landing on the side of his hip. Harry lifted his head up to Snape.

“Stop it!” he screamed. “I can't do this! I won't do it, so let me up now!”

Severus looked down at him and sighed. “I’m not doing this, Harry.”

The young wizard opened his mouth to argue but the look on the man’s face said it all. He wasn’t stopping Harry. It was the stupid ‘ritual’. Harry collapsed on the floor, curling himself into a foetal position. His mind raced in confusion of all the strong and conflicting emotions running through him all at once. Anger. Humiliation. Embarrassment. Panic. But most of all… Defeat.

“Please,” he said in a tiny voice that even he didn’t recognise as his own. “I can't… I just can't.”

Severus knelt down and lightly stroked his hair. “Harry,” he breathed softly. “I promise it will soon be over.”

Harry raised his head enough to meet his gaze. “Why do you care?” the young husband whispered. “This is what you want. You don’t care what I want,” he said flatly and his head fell to the floor again.

Snape roughly yanked him to his knees causing Harry to gasp. “How dare you,” he hissed. “You have no idea what I want,” he said sharply.

“Then why don’t you tell me?” Harry snapped, lifting his head higher.

Severus held his breath for a few seconds, then exhaled slowly and spoke in a softer tone. “Please, Harry. Don’t fight this. Please.”

The young Gryffindor blinked several times. Snape was pleading? With him? The world has gone mad. Harry tried to clear his head and get a firm grip on his emotions just so he would be able to get through all of this as sane as possible.

Harry rested his bum on his heels and placed his hands on his thighs. He sighed softly.

“What more do I have to?” he whispered.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room before Severus answered.

“You must finish exploring.” Harry cringed slightly but nodded. The older wizard continued. “With your hands… and your eyes.”

Harry gulped and nodded again. He pushed himself to a tall kneeling position and turned his body to face his husband. He took a couple of breaths then gingerly touched the front of Snape's thighs. A tremor was felt under Harry’s hands and he knew if he looked up right now, he would see Severus with his eyes closed and his lips parted. Again. In one smooth movement, Harry’s palms ran up to the indentation of Severus’s hips then inward to his stomach. His eyes were focused on his hands alone, but as they came together, he could no longer ignore the large piece of flesh that was now only inches from his face.

Harry turned his face briefly, then willed himself to look. It was only a penis, wasn’t it? He’d seen many in his years at Hogwarts. The shower room, his dorm room…but none of those times were as intimate as this. Harry chuckled to himself that he should’ve taken Seamus up on his ‘offer’ last year. That would’ve given Harry some idea of what to expect. The other Gryffindor boy explained that he wasn’t gay, that he was just curious and wanted to experiment with Harry. Harry refused as politely as he could and told the other boy that he was indeed flattered but he had no interest in men whatsoever. Funny how life works.


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Harry’s head backed up just enough for him to focus properly. His face burned from embarrassment as his eyes rested on the thick erection before him. From his stance, it was huge and panic overrode his senses again at the thought of him having to... having to … Harry quickly shook that image from his mind, but his heart wasn’t listening. It began to beat hard in his chest as each second ticked by. Hands now shaking, Harry removed them from Severus’s stomach and held them out, fingers splayed, ready to take hold of…it. He closed his eyes and curled his fingers, digit by digit around the base. A loud gasp came from above causing Harry to snap open his eyes.

The young husband watched as the toned abs descended inwardly and the muscles tightened. He wondered if he was holding it too tight. He instinctively glanced up to find out. Severus did in fact have his eyes closed, but the expression on his face was not from pain. Harry fought the urge to vomit and quickly looked down. He vaguely remembered what Snape had done to him, so he removed one of his hands and cradled the hanging sac carefully. A shaky breath escaped Severus’s lips and again Harry shut his eyes.

“Please,” Harry whispered. “I can't…I ...can’t… please.”

Harry flinched when a pair of hands took hold of his wrists and pulled them away. Harry let out a loud sigh. The strong hands didn’t leave straight away but rather tugged at them, indicating that he was free to stand. Harry rose awkwardly to his feet and turned his head, unable to meet Snape's eyes. The Gryffindor flinched again as those same hands moved to his back, nudging him forward. Harry obeyed.

“Shh. This part is over,” Severus whispered.

Harry’s head was resting in the nook of his neck and nodded slowly. But suddenly, Harry snapped his eyes open. Two words echoed in his mind.

“This part.”


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