Marriage Law Madness

It was the week before Albus and Minerva’s wedding. Albus had called Severus into his office, saying he had something he wanted to discuss. He wordlessly handed Severus a large gold book studded with precious stones. “Take a look.”

The book was made up of lists, each with a year at the top, the year being the year that the students on the list would turn eleven and become eligible for Hogwarts admission. The first list started with the year 780 AD, containing the list of students from the school’s very first year. He skipped forward several centuries, finding Albus in year 1851, Minerva in 1936, and finally Molly and himself in 1964 and 1972, respectively. He flipped to the last page, labeled ‘2008” There were already several names on the list, in silver. Most of the names were couples who had married recently, but there were several sets of unmarried Hogwarts students on the list. The big surprise didn’t come until he came down to the ‘L’ section and found ‘Longbottom, Baby Girl. Parents Hannah Abbott and Neville Longbottom. Expected October.’ Skimming down, he almost dropped the book. ‘Malfoy, Baby girl, Parents Draco Malfoy & Ginevra Weasley. Expected October. Oh, Merlin.”

“Keep reading, Severus.”

“Snape, Baby Girl, Parents Severus and Molly. Expected October.” He stared at the page as if he was seeing something impossible. “I brewed the contraceptive potion, I watched both of them drink it!”

“Keep going.”

“Weasley, Baby Girl, Parents Charles and Nymphadora. It would seem we have a tainted batch of contraceptive potion, as I know all of these women took the potion.\"

“It would seem so, and one that acts as a fertility potion that determines the sex. You brew the stuff, you tell me how it happened. They are all listed as coming from the same batch in Madam Pomfrey’s book.”

“There must have been a defective ingredient. Have the girls been told?”

“Yes, all the ones that are Hogwarts students. The two who are fourth years have opted for termination; some older ones who aren’t married yet are considering their options. The only unmarried women who have flat out refused the offer are your daughter and Hannah Abbott; she and Neville want to be married next week as well. As do Ginny and Draco.”

“God, I’m going to be a parent and a grandparent twice over. And I just found out I’m an uncle less than two weeks ago. Can you imagine what next Christmas is going to be like?” Severus looked a little overwhelmed. “Ginny’s only fifteen, can they legally get married now?”

The wards signaled someone was coming up the staircase, and the door opened itself to admit the Minister of Magic. “Severus, Madam Pomfrey told me I’d find you here. We need your input on a criminal matter.” He handed him that morning’s Daily Prophet.

“The man in question failed the potions and Herbology N.E.W.T.S. at Durmstrang, and has gone around attempting to prove how good he is by sabotaging magical plants. So far he’s managed to create a hair growth potion that leaves the user bald, an enlarging solution that permanently shrinks what its placed on, and a Bowdler potion which fills the air with curses than would make a Muggle sailor blush, so I’m told.”

“And a contraceptive potion that acts like a fertility potion, producing only girls. I believe we have our answer, Albus. The greenhouse mentioned in the article is the one the ingredients I use for the contraceptus potion come from. I order them in bulk, its cheaper with the amount of the stuff I brew a month...”

“How many pregnancies are we talking here, Severus?” Fudge looked both worried and elated.

“Twenty-one, but only four that will definitely go to term.”

“They all will. I forbid you to brew an abortion potion except for medical reasons. We’ll take care of the girls if their families won’t, get them counseling and arrange for adoption for those that don\'t want the baby. And for those who find themselves getting married, the ministry will cover the dowry and other expenses. But we need these children.”

“It gets worse, Cornelius. Madam Marquise, the healer at Beuxbatons, ran out and asked us if we had some spare doses as the stuff takes a week to brew. I gave her half a pint, and the doses came from that batch. I expect Madam Maxime over here yelling at me any time. We could have an international incident on our hands. Meanwhile, Severus has something to ask you.”

After Severus outlined Ginny’s wish, Fudge simply said, “Sign the permission paperwork. I have to go out to Azkaban tomorrow, I’ll take it and get Lucius’ signature. And are you forgetting, Albus, that the only way a student can fight an order from their paterfamilias is to go to a judge or the minister? You’re the head of the Wizengamot, sign the paper and I’ll countersign. The Abbotts and Longbottoms have to agree.”

The wards started beeping like crazy, and suddenly a large object flew out of the fireplace, proving to be a Beuxbatons school trunk. It was followed by a girl wearing only her undergarments and a thin blanket, who looked like she too had been thrown throught the system with force. Another trunk followed, knocking the girl to the floor. A woman of about twenty-five followed. She was no more decently dressed than the girl.

She looked at them through her tears, suddenly recognizing the men in the room. “Permission to speak, Headmaster Dumbledore, sir?” she said tremulously. At Beuxbatons no one was allowed to speak to Madam Maxime without permission, even the teachers. He nodded and she said. “My name is Tatiana Romanova DeHarfleur, I was until a few minutes ago a teacher at Beuxbatons. I was one of the ones who got the bad doses of contraceptive potion. They confirmed I am pregnant, and thus I have been dismissed from my staff position and Fraise here has been expelled. We have been sent here for you to deal with as you see fit, as our families don’t want us. Other girls are still being tested. She’s checking all the girls, since they aren’t sure who got the last dose. But pretty much all of them said they don’t want their daughters back if they are expecting.”

“DeHarfleur as in the French Minister of Magic?” Albus asked, as Fudge hurriedly got up to get his cloak for her to wrap herself in. Albus simply pointed his wand at the door leading into his bedroom. “Arms up.” One of his nightshirts flew out of the door and over her head. Another followed it and did the same to the girl.

“ Thank you, sir. Yes, he is my father, at least until he disowns me.”

“What happened to your robes, Tatiana?” Albus asked, his eyes blazing.

“Madam Maxine ripped them off, she said I was no longer a teacher of hers and would not be allowed to contaminate the name of the school.” She started to cry again.

Fudge wrapped his soft lambswool cloak around her shoulders and led her to a chair. He lifted her onto the deep, squashy cushion and put his hand on her shoulder. Leading the girl to the couch, he put his arm around her. “We’ll take good care of you here, I promise.”

Albus, meanwhile, had gone to the fireplace and thrown a handful of powder in. “OLYMPE!” The flames turned deep red instead of green, and nothing happened. ‘She’s blocked the Floo.”

“Infernal woman.” That voice, no, it couldn’t be.