Doubts and Desires

A/N: Thank you again everyone who has reviewed. I appreciate them so much! Sorry it took a little while to get this chapter up. I got busy and lacked motivation. I\'ve also been figuring out where to go with the story and how to get there. Plus, I have put up a new fanfic. It\'s called \'Pursuing a Flower\' and it\'s based on the Marauder\'s Era with SS/LE and JP/LE pairings in case anyone\'s interested in it. I\'m also still working on my SS/OC fanfic \'Where the Heart Is\' which has around seven chapters left before it\'s complete. LOL! It\'ll be nice to have a completed fanfic up. Anyways, thanks for reading and reviewing. I do appreciate it. On with the story!


Chapter Eleven: Realizations

Hermione heard the swish of fabric. She turned in the darkened room, unable to pinpoint from where the sound came. Something feather-light brushed against the ends of her hair. She gasped softly as she caught the sight of a shadow to her right. Turning, she saw nothing there. “Who are you?” she inquired right before she felt a hand brushing her hair away from her neck. She felt the hot breath against her ear. “I am your dreams. Your desires,” the voice stated silkily. She shivered as she felt his lips against her neck. Her head turned to see the man’s face as she smiled and whispered, “Severus.”

Suddenly, she woke up from the dream, sitting straight up in beShe She glanced around at the dark room and managed to find her wand, turning the lights on with it. No one was there. She sighed as she shook her head slowly. She was confused about these dreams she was having lately. They all included the strange man in the shadows that left her feeling quite wanton. Sadly, she had had a better time in the dreams with the man than she had had with some of the losers she had slept with over the years. She sighed again and shifted uncomfortably. She felt wet from her arousal. She shouldn’t be dreaming such things though, especially about HIM. Severus. She remembered seeing him and saying his name in the dream.

Standing up, she went to her bathroom, deciding to take a cool shower. There just had to be some left over feelings from helping him out. He didn’t need her any more though. He had gotten back to his normal self. She just needed to ignore him for a few days and get herself back to normal as well. After all, she had more important things to do than to dote on someone who would never want her.


Severus had been unable to sleep that night. Every single damn time he even attempted to sleep, Hermione had appeared in his dreams. Gods, he wanted her as the twinge in his pants reminded him rather painfully. He sighed and deciding that cold showers were just not doing it. He pulled off his pants, watching his erection spring up. He closed his eyes as he ran his thumb over the time of it. He leaned back, imagining Hermione being the one to touch him, stroke him. He spread the pre-cum over his erection and slowly began to move his hand up and down his length. “Hermione,” he moaned softly as he slowly sped up, needing the release. With his other hand, he cupped his balls. With these two motions, his orgasm took over, spurting hot cum on his hand. He reached over for his wand and cast a cleaning spell. He didn’t bother to put his pants back The The sun was rising, and he had classes to teach.

In the shower, he thought more about Hermione. He remembered in his old Death Eater days how he would have already had her now. He took what he wanted without giving another thought to it. Well, he never thought about it at that time. There were quite a few things he regretted eventually, but they lacked much importance in the present. He smirked as he thought about how he could seduce her and make her his. The diabolical side of him as well as his growing arousal told him that it would be fine. It would be fun. He did want her, after all. True, he didn’t think that she would want him, but he could test the waters out, see how she reacted to him.

He dressed quickly, hoping to see her at breakfast. Unfortunately, she didn’t come, which left him in even more of a pissed off mood than he seemed to be. It was going to be pretty hard to figure out how to seduce her, if she never came around.

He was going to lunch when he spotted her coming down the stairs. He was sure that she saw him when she suddenly caught up with McGonagall and began to talk to her. He slightly raised an eyebrow, wondering about her reaction. You’re just imagining things, he told himself as he went on into the Great Hall. He could talk to her when she entered. Waiting rather impatiently, he noticed McGonagall enter without Hermione. She didn’t come. Although he kept a calm demeanor, he was disappointed and angry.

Suddenly, he got up and left the Great Hall in search for her. He found her almost back to the Hospital Wing. He walked quietly and stopped just a little bit behind her and leaned lightly against the wall. “You are going to make yourself ill if you keep skipping meals, Hermione,” he stated in a smooth, silky voice.

She froze and slowly turned around to see him. A light blush crept upon her cheeks. “I’m not skipping meals. I’ve decided to take them in my office, instead of the Great Hall.”

He noted the blush on her cheeks and took a few steps toward her, closing the distance. His eyes locked with hers in a steady gaze. “Why, then, Hermione, would you go to the trouble to go all the way down to the Great Hall and not stay?” He began to walk around her. His fingers lightly brushed against her hair as he passed behind her and then completed the circle. “Surely it couldn’t be on my account, could it?” he inquired in the silky tone.

She shivered slightly. Gods, there was no way that he could have known about her dream, right? She laughed nervously. “Of course not, Severus! What a s ide idea!”

He gave a knowing smirk. “Of course.”

She shifted, feeling his uncomfortable gaze, which was only uncomfortable because of how she could feel her underwear getting moist from her arousal. “Well. I really do have work to do.” She turned suddenly and walked off to the Hospital Wing, quite able to feel his stare on her as she walked away.

He chuckled to himself, noticing how uncomfortable she was. Perhaps this might be easier than he originally thought.

* * * * *

Hermione had not managed to stay away from him during the beginning of the week. Severus just kept showing up. Looking through her vials of potions in the stock room, she realized that she had to make some more contraceptive potion. She hadn’t liked giving out what she did have to the students who came to her, but she wasn’t so much of a bookworm to know how being a teenager was. It was better to have the students protected than pregnant. She was just hoping that she would be able to finish the potion before Severus came back from his hall duty.

She went down to the dungeons and said the new password, “Checkmate.” The door opened, and she entered, looking around Severus’ private lab. She breathed a sigh of relief. He was no where to be found. Quickly, she began to get out the ingredients and prepare them.

After a while, she added in the last potion ingredient and began to stir the potion counterclockwise. She enjoyeirriirring the potion the best part. It was simply mesmerizing. She was so involved with the potion making that she did not realize the presence behind her.

“A contraceptive potion. Who’s the lucky man?” stated the silky voice behind her.

She jumped slightly and bumped against his body. “Don’t scare me like that!” she chided him as she hadn’t moved away where she was lightly pressing against him.

He chuckled. “I thought that was one of my specialties.” He breathed in the sweet, floral scent of her hair and forced himself to take a step away from her, so she would not be able to detect his straining erection that were leaving a bulge in his pants. Luckily, he had his professor robes still on. “So, who is the man?”

She diminished the flames under the cauldron, knowing that it had to cool before she could bottle it. “It’s not for me. I donave ave anyone. You know that,” she said a little harsher than she intended. She was hard up, and it was frustrating to have the object of her affections so close and yet so far away. “What’s it to you anyways?”

He gave a slight nonchalant shrug. “Not Potter? Or Weasley?”

“Ugh! No! They are like brothers to me.” She looked at him. “If you must know, it’s for the students. I’m almost out of it, and I thought I should make some more before one of them gets pregnant.”

He was delighted to hear that she had no interest in Potter or Weasley. She didn’t really stay around any other male that he knew of. “Yes. Unfortunately, I’m normally the one who has to catch them either before, during, or after the act. It’s quite dreadful. Although the horrified looks on their faces are worth more than giving them detention.”

She laughed. “It’s nice to know that you got back your scary and evil edge.”

He raised an eyebrow. “And, pray tell, Hermione. When did I lose that edge?” He took a step toward her, tilting his heawn swn slightly to look down at her.

Her breathing increased slightly as he stepped closer. She had no where to step away from him. Meekly, she looked up and swallowed hard. Slowly, she smiled. “Well, it did seem to lessen somewhat. I guess it was always still there.”

“Always.”

“Er…I need to finish with the potion,” she stated, managing to turn around while lightly brushing against him. She felt warm tingles along her skin from where they had touched. Gods, shntednted him. He’s mean and evil, she told herself, and you want to let him have his evil ways with you too. She couldn’t stand with him being so close to her when she couldn’t touch him. “Er…do you mind?” she asked as she motioned for him to scoot.

He had been breathing in her scent, loving the heat he could feel between them. He didn’t even realize how close he was to her until she asked him to move. “Of course,” he said and moved out of the way as he watched her put the potion away in the vials. “What are you doing Saturday evening?” he asked suddenly, even surprising himself with the question.

She looked at him. “Well, nothing much, I suppose. Why?”

His boldness before for beginning to diminish as he became nervous. “Since it is another Hogsmeade weekend, I was wondering if you might like to go out to dinner at the Three Broomsticks.”

Despite her vow to stay away from him more, she smiled and quickly accepted. “Yes, I would like to goShe She laughed. “So, will we count this our first or second date?”

He smirked, remembering the quasi-date they had before. “Count it as whatever you wish to count it as.”

She picked up the box with the vials of the contraceptive potion and went toward the door. “I think it will be our second.” She grinned at him and winked and then left. She knew that technically she was breaking what she had set out for, but she honestly didn’t care. She was already looking forward to the second date.


A/N: Please review. It only takes a moment to make someone very happy.