Wizard's Porn

Hello!



My Race for Life went great! I did the 5k (3 miles, ish) in 42 mins! And the only pain I’m in is due to a sports bra that didn’t fit, if you catch my drift (my size doesn’t exist in a sports bra, the curse of being a 28DD; and I’m also a bit tender where someone accidentally knocked into me (though, there were 2000 women there!).



There’s a 10k in Sep that men can run too, and I think my fiancé and I are going to do it together – though I’m not running that! I’ll power walk it, but not run! He’s all for running, he does that every night!



There were 6 of us who started together, though we crossed the line in dribs and drabs. And we’ve raised almost £1300 for cancer research UK (current exchange has it at USA$2600)! There were official marathon photographers there, as well as family and friends taking photos – and as soon as I’ve got them, I’ll get them on the net and post the link… though, do you want to see me dressed as a pink fairy all sweaty and tired?



Anyway… reviews:



LadyVoldemort87 Tell, you what, how about for your 21st birthday, you get MY Lucius, who’s normally chained to my bed, wearing nothing but a little sparkly party hat (and f**k all else) with YOUR name on his collar. I’ll throw in a chocolate cake and a sleeping bag. How’s that?



BUT, AS THE BIRTHDAY GIRL, YOU CAN MAKE A REQUEST, AND I WILL FAITHFULLY WRITE IT IN. Be specific with your wants, and it will be written – as long as it doesn’t mess with the overall plot.



Aaaaaaaannnnnnd…



“♫ Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday dear LadyVoldemort87,

Happy Birthday toooooooooooo yooooooooooooooooooooooou!” ♫



Many happy returns duckie! Happy 21st! Drink responsibly and have a wonderful time!



mariteri What’s in a name – I tend to find a lot of pen-names fascinating. I was going to use the meanings of my names: LightStorm, for Helen Gail, but I’d already used Utopia on another site. Some names are HP related, but some are really different and I like to know the story behind their choice.



I’m glad you think my story is a gem… is it a sparkly gem?



Yep, Lu did wax lyrical, but Snape thought he was going to die a horrible and painful death – it snapped him out of it and distracted him… or the hand job did it, one of the two… lol!



I had to love your choice of words! Lucius IS a bloody peacock, and Snape is the less-beautiful peahen. Nice words!



I don’t think of Lucius as in the closet… Harry, on the other hand… no, Lucius is surrounded by sexuality and he’s just curious. Nothing’s going to come back and bite him on the arse (no pun intended) if he experiments, and he and Narcissa aren’t really on good terms. There isn’t much he hasn’t done before. He doesn’t have anything to lose by having a play. I know where its going, but our King of Slytherin is seeing opportunities and taking them.



I don’t think my Snape likes either women or men, he’s a bit of a monk for me in this one. Lucius DID have to put a lot of effort in to get into his knickers!



A few have gone WTF with the vanilla – and that is the best adult description I’ve ever heard.



Tell you what, I’ll get you a Slytherin quidditch shirt for your B-day too, I’ll put a 21 on the back. I’ll pass a collection plate and see what else we get.



Blame corset laces on S_G! Her fault the bunny bit me!



Soooooo many of you want to know who the Father is! I’ll have to write something in – I’ll just take a pick of a Death Eater at random! It doesn’t really matter to the story, all we have to know is the little boy is here.



Kingsley isn’t stupid, but he wants to look after the country as well as his friend, they’re back to square one with a crap Minister if they vote out Kings.



Thanks for the congrats!



Megan Yep, you’ve put 2 and 2 together and got the right answer, and I’m glad you’re liking and reviewing too.



DragonFyre Hello luvvy! Nice seeing you in the neck of the woods I tend to live in!



The characters aren’t mine, I just reshape them into something I want. We’re blessed that JKR left Lucius rather 2D – you can take him in so many directions and it still be believable.



Don’t let ANYONE say you’re retarded! It’s complete and utter BOLLOCKS!



ssdawn I like plain and simple! My life’s motto is K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple and Stupid). Simple means it’s less likely to go wrong.



I’m afraid your curiosity is going to have to remain in overdrive – because you’re asking questions that will spoil the plot if I tell you. Keep reading, and all shall be revealed.



LadyBlueEyes The scenarios just suddenly pop into my head and WOW – they’re there! They become fully formed between my brain and fingers and just materialise on the screen! I read stuff back and get really excited as I polish a chapter off.



A little bit more back story to come, but it’s moving forward now.



meankitty69 You’re not really a mean kitty, are you? I bet you’re just a playful little kitten! Lol.



The little boy is proving to be a big topic on the reviews! I wasn’t going to introduce him so soon, but then I realised Lucius would play with nipples, and she’d still be nursing – and thus there would be a complete lack of plot continuity!



mmm-mmm good! Yeah, that’ll do for me!



gorgeousbowneyes I’m glad you can laugh right along with me, thanks for cheering me up.



I love my slash too… though my first introduction to slash was Anita Blake FanFiction, who in their right mind would say no to Asher and Jean-Claude???! I’d PAY to see that! *dribbles*. My first smut was slash (between those two yummy vampires, to be exact), and I tend to ALWAYS write BETTER slash than Het! But I’m struggling with the HP boys, though… the next fic has plenty of M/M for me to get my teeth into!



No gay Lucius, but I do have a thing for gay Harry! A very BIG thing for gay Harry! *dribbles again*.



No more slash now – with the exception of a bit of hand holding. Sorry, this is a Het fic ducks; but the next LM/HG has a fair bit of slash in it – keep an eye out for it.



No, No DM/HP – I like to pair Harry with OMCs.



I cheered when I read that you ‘saw’ Max and Juliet – not Hermione and Lucius! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED! I’m glad I made it separate!



My views on abortion are very neutral, I think it is a woman’s decision, and nobody else can comment as they’re not in her exact shoes. I feel a child should only be brought into a world that wants it. Could I do it? Well, there’s a reason I use 2 contraceptive methods – just to be sure.



The magical society is just like so many others – they believe the crap printed in the papers – and it’s just that – crap. There is mass panic caused frequently by one idiot reporter who don’t know what they’re on about! I wanted to make the magical world far from perfect and more adult than JKRs.



Sorry to hear about your PCOS! My Godmother’s womb literally grew inside out, and she had a full hysterectomy. I’m the eldest of 18 God children. It never stopped her and her husband being ‘spare parents’.



So many want to know the Father – and I think I’ll have to put something in about it – but the sperm donor is really inconsequential! But, rest assured, it wasn’t Lucius.



Wistful-Stargazer *hands a saucer of double cream for the Cheshire cat*



Point your hubby in the direction of a really good copy of the Kama Sutra, or books written by Violet Blue – she’s a brilliant author of various sex books (notedly ‘The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio: How to Go Down on a Man and Give Him Mind-blowing Pleasure - I can recommend that one; and The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus: How to Go Down on a Woman and Give Her Exquisite Pleasure )



Lucius is in a new situation – he’s not sure, so he’s checking. Communication in sex is vital.



Managed to get mine into that zone… then I went to uni – and it all went rubbish! But we can practice lots while we get our zone back.



She’s still feeding the baby herself, but he’s no newborn. Actually, he’s nearly weaned off, but with teeth coming through, he’s feeding more for comfort than nourishment, he’s already having some solids, but bedtime is breast milk.



Talk as quick as you like! Makes me really happy to read such an upbeat review!





SlytherinPrincess Keeping it in Lucius’s perspective was actually unplanned and accidental – but it is working to my advantage… I want Hermione to be a bit more mysterious and have an air of reclusiveness.



Glad you love it!



nonentity With a Utopia fic, expect the unexpected! Lol!

Sev and Lu came a long time before Lucius experimented on stage. Maybe it was the beginning of the fantasy… I’ll let the reader decide.



I don’t think it’s Narcissa’s thing, and Draco’s running the European businesses – he’s keeping out of the way. But if they went to watch, they wouldn’t know it was Lucius.



LaBibliographe

My muse sent me a postcard, she said she’d found a friend to talk about girly things and do hair and manicures and stuff… maybe it’s your muse?



Hermione being a Mother is producing a lot of comments – and most are really shocked! I like stirring people! Lol!



Which other Roman God could she choose? Lucius certainly doesn’t fit the bill of the others! Mars seemed a good choice.



He’s not submissive, per se, but he knows she DOESN’T do Doms, so he’s backed off. But, he’s in such a new situation – and he’s being more cautious than submissive.



There is a lot of curiosity about the Father – but its anyone’s guess of about 30 Death Eaters! In the end, it won’t matter… and I’ll say no more.



Does Lucius NEED an excuse? For anything?



And it is no hardship to respond to a review – you take the time to tell me what you think, it is manners and genuine appreciation for me to answer!



Athena Malfoy Glad you approve!



A Whoa! Give me chance! Quality takes time to plan and write, and I’ve been a smidge busy. But here’s another chapter for the readers!



luvhp

Lucius is doing it because it’s a safe place to practice BDSM with other like-minded people. It’s not Narcissa’s thing, so he went elsewhere.



Lucius might be a prick, but he can still be a gentleman; he didn’t need her money so put it away for her. It’s what’s nicknamed as a woman’s ‘running away money’ many moons ago when marriages were more often conveniences, rather than love.



Tell your hubby you won’t do his washing, cook, clean or have nookie UNTIL he remembers what else his tongue can do! Trust me – he won’t last 5 minutes!



Oh no! Your re-sit will go better! I’m glad it made you happy. Failing exams sucks. Been there, worked my arse off, still failed it and kept going.



Its not just typing dyslexia, it’s the non-typing kind too. Plus Irlan Syndrome. Doesn’t stop me reading everything that isn’t nailed down!



They probably have a pregnant sex stage – with healers on stand-by, but Hermione wasn’t on it. *Thinks* She was most likely pregnant during her visits with the therapist, though baggy clothes would hide a lot of things; not to mention first pregnancies are often late to show. The Manager recognised the face, not the situation.



Athena Malfoy better the devil you know – who’d take over from the daily prophet? Though, I did lock Rita up!! Glad you like it!



LadyBlueEyes

No, the Father of the child is unimportant, it is her circumstances that matter. The reasons, the actions, the decisions.



Pink fairy went well! thanks for asking!



Rini

I hate sheep! Sheep bullied me in school (though I had a good laugh at their expense when their lives didn’t turn out how they wanted them to).



Ah… the abortion argument, and my views are rather neutral. I feel it is a woman’s decision, and that unless you stand in her exact shoes, you can’t comment. Could I do it?... well, there’s a reason I swallow oral contraceptives and me and the other half found out I have a latex allergy and fork out a lot of money for latex free. I don’t intend on bringing a child into the world before the world is ready for him or her. And I’ll leave it at that before it gets philosophical.



Ah, someone picked up on my Media Clichés – one person writes something, and everyone jumps on the band wagon.



Oh! You Down Under! Wow! That’s readers on 3 continents!



Muffy Glad you like it!



Flowerchild Unique is my middle name! lol!



Clare1984

Nah – I dance when I see new chapters of things I want to read – don’t worry about it! Lol!

There are a lot who are commenting on her Motherhood! I’m really proud of my plot!

Oh dear, sorry you were sore after the race, I’m fine! Though, I have been doing a fair bit of training. Keep moving to get rid of the soreness, it’s the last thing you want to do, but it’s the best.



Snape_Goddess Hello, Missus!

Your review contained the worst pun in existence! LOL! That was just cringe worthy! Just give me a dark-chocolate covered Lucius and I’ll do it!



Lady_of_Clunn What ring? What does it mean? I’m baffled! Can you give me some more information, please? Connections? Eh?



I’m glad you laughed at Daisy, the interview with the porn star had me giggling too. Poor bloke.



I think JKR painted a rather pretty and nice wizarding world, I’ve made it darker, and I like to think I made it real too. The media are masters of causing panic among the sheep.



Glad you liked it!









Right… That was a HUGE A/N – but you’re all worth it! If you want to leave a message, feel free! If you don’t, don’t worry!

JUST ENJOY. A lighter chapter – in the Lupin/Black household.





Remus, suddenly finding himself as a multi-millionaire literally overnight upon the release of Harry’s biography, was able to finally purchase the property he’d had his eye on since the Marauders had been on a fifth-year summer camping holiday – with the Potter’s five star tent and one of their house elves, Ool.



They’d stayed near the ruins of a castle, complete with a dried-up moat and drawbridge. They’d trudged through the sludge and scaled the wall to find a tangle of brambles, no roof, one wall missing, towers too dangerous to climb to and the best place for a bunch of mischief-makers to play a game of hide and seek.



Whilst hiding in a garden shed, Remus had seen it – a small wood, bristling with little animals and miles away from anyone. A walk with the others (once they’d found him) was most productive, showing the castle outer wall also encased the wood.



It would be perfect when he was older, he could change and run, nobody would bet hurt, he couldn’t climb the high, smooth wall or swim the moat. The others would be able to shift with him, and they could fall asleep all curled around each other.



The last craftsmen were just re-filling the moat. They were magical ecologists, twenty-two university students and their five professors; they’d jumped at the chance to set up a miniature aquatic nature reserve in the moat. Planting it with suitable reeds and lilies, they were leaving it to Mother Nature to populate it, and would be returning every month to see how things were going. Remus and Narcissa didn’t mind, as long as they flooed first.



One professor, a Japanese Wizard named Kohaku Itsuki, was a koi enthusiast and upon Remus’s small queries about perhaps putting in an oriental-style garden, complete with pond, the professor’s face had lit up. Itsuki had arrived the weekend after with a few Magical Marine Biologists to dig the pond and get it set up. Neville had been let loose on the planting of the oriental garden. Remus hadn’t had to lift a finger in that patch of the grounds! He was going to have to employ a gardener, but there was an aging former Hogwarts Herbology Professor who he was fond of, who would like a chance to be head gardener, with his four-year-old Great Grandson for company.



“How things change.” Remus mused, watching as the magical builders left through the draw bridge with a wave, after they’d re-built the ruins. The fifteen builders and nine repair wizards had been brilliant over the past three months; though they’d gone through three-hundred-and-twenty tea bags!



“Hmm? What’s wrong?” Said a muffled voice pressing between his shoulder blades as pale arms wrapped around his chest, short (non-manicured) nails toyed with his shirt buttons.



“Do you remember when I first told you about this property?” he said, turning in her arms to face her, biting his lip so he didn’t laugh. Narcissa, the former never-a-hair-out-of-place-Lady-Malfoy; had her hair falling out of a sloppy plait, wearing his shirt, a pair if muggle jeans, luminous pink flip flops and covered in large splats of various different colours of paint – especially the lines of pale blue where she’d obviously pushed her hair out of her eyes.



“Yes… and why are you laughing at me?” she said, raising a paint-streaked eyebrow.



“Have you looked in a mirror recently? Remus said, a beaming marauder grin on his face.



“Yes. I know. I opened the tin and it went splat! I was thinking it was a nice colour for the study, nice and calm…” she said, reaching up for a gentle kiss.



“Doesn’t make good makeup, warpaint perhaps.” Remus chuckled, dodging a mock slap, “Yeah, nice colour, along with the other five we painted in big blocks all over the walls because we couldn’t decide!”



“You could have each wall in different colours, and the ceiling in the fifth; whatever you like for your little writing hide away.” She said, snuggling into his embrace as he wrapped muscled arms around her and rested his cheek on her paint-splattered hair.



“Hmm… what was I on about before?” he asked, forgetful.



“Erm…” Narcissa said, taking one look at her beau’s cheek and giggling.



“Have I joined the ranks of the blue-painted warriors?” he said, realising the scent of paint was closer than before.



“No – you just joined the ranks of the grab-a-brush-and-start-painting brigade!” she chuckled, pulling a new paintbrush out of her back pocket and slapped it into his hand, she wriggled out of his cuddle and scampered back to the little castle, the wolf hot on her heals as he followed her into their bare bedroom.



* * * * *



“Severus, the moon isn’t until next week, why are you bringing the Wolfsbane now?” Lucius asked, eyeing the freshly-planted, part bare flowerbeds and the small castle.



“I do have a life, much as it pains me to admit it.” Severus grumbled, but noticing the little patch of a flower he might just have to discretely dig up and run off with. Opium poppies weren’t easy to grow in magical soils – and Lupin had got nine in flower.



“Eyes off the opium, Sev, Cissa will rip you limb from limb if you dig up her flowers.” Lucius chuckled, impressed with the property; it was nowhere near the size of Malfoy Manor – but it easily had ten bedrooms.



“Do you think she’d notice?” Severus said, seriously contemplating digging three up; they were useful in many medicinal potions, mainly for the high-strength pain potions that took away the pain of crucio-caused muscle spasms; even after two years, Severus still had problems with damaged nerves and electrical signatures going to the wrong place.



“Oh yes, she’d notice – but if you asked nicely she might let you come and pick one or two for your potion…” Lucius went into a whisper, “…She might ask you to brew her some… she went through a lot.”



“I don’t like asking nicely.” Severus said in sarcasm, hoping it would snap Lucius out of his melancholy.



“Noooooooo! Remus! Noooooo!” came a shriek from an open upstairs window; Lucius was moments away from running to her rescue before a beautiful female laugh followed the shriek. “Remus! Give up!”



“No, you started it! You covered me in paint – all I’m doing is retaliating!” laughed the wolf.



“It was an a-a-a-a-accident!” she giggled, “That tickles! S-s-s-stop it!” she cried.



“Riiiiiiight, little-miss-Slytherin, so me ending up with a swipe of paint down my back, and over my arse was an accident?” Remus laughed.



“Says the Marauder who’s trying to paint me on a bra!”



“Makes you sick, doesn’t it?” Severus muttered as he walked through the door that an elf opened.



“Yeah, sick with jealousy.” Lucius muttered, she’d never laughed like that for him.



* * * * *



The couple had changed into new shirts, both Remus’s old rags.



“I’d offer you a chocolate biscuit – but we ate them with afternoon tea.” Narcissa said, handing Severus, Lucius and Remus mugs of tea that didn’t match. They hadn’t got around to choosing crockery yet; paint and wallpapers were causing enough mayhem – in the form of little patches of paint, or wallpaper.



“What about those oaty ones?” Remus said, scratching where the paint was flaking on his neck.



“We ate them in bed this morning – or, more accurately, we ate what was left for breakfast in bed, after your midnight snack depleted the supply.” Narcissa giggled, yawning.



“Tired, love?” Remus asked, pulling her onto his lap, where he sat on a chair that didn’t match the sofa – they hadn’t got their new furniture, but it was all on order and paid for.



“Yeah, fighting a werewolf for the quilt at three this morning wore me out!” she complained, resting her head on his shoulder and sighing.



Lucius’s eyes went wide, shocked to hear they were sharing a bed before… well, Lucius presumed they’d be getting married.



“Use silver thread in the quilting – a nice char grilled werewolf.” Severus supplied, ever helpful, he’d had a bad night with spasms – he wasn’t going to be nice today.



“No! I’d have to sleep in pyjamas then!” Remus said, blushing when he realised he’d just owned up to sleeping in the altogether.



“So, what room are we in?” Lucius asked, trying to change the subject.



“Oriental Lounge – it overlooks the new oriental garden and the pond. Its going to be…” Narcissa said looking around the room at the torn strips of wallpaper and stripes of paint. “…erm… what did we decide on?”



“Weren’t we going for the parchment coloured wallpaper and then going to the gallery to get artwork for the walls? The screen over the big window and the fans above the door?” Remus asked, not quite sure, to be honest.



“Something like that, with low furniture. I can’t remember now. But the bedroom is definite – nice, simple, pale blue walls with a dark blue border; dark blue ceiling and bedding. We’re getting the fireplace re-done.” Narcissa said, beaming.



“Is that in Vogue?” Lucius asked.



“Don’t be silly! Vogue’s gone a bit Versailles this year – looks ridiculous! We want something to our own design, fashion be damned!” Narcissa looked puzzled for a moment before speaking again, “Well, as far as fashion goes, I’m not sure I like these Jean things – though men wear them too – so shouldn’t they be called John for men? Jean is a male form of John, from the French.”



“No, love, its jeans – male or female.” Remus said, trying not to laugh. “And you quite like mine.”



“Well, they feel awful strange! But it’s easier than a skirt or dress for painting. I have a pair of Dung Maries – though I’m not sure why they’re called that.” The pureblood woman looked confused. “Well, they erm… well you have a rather nice… erm… in them.”



“I’ve never worn a pair.” Lucius said, minding his lip on the chipped mug.



“Fancy that! I’ve done something Lucius hasn’t – other than use my brain.” Severus said, dryly, wincing as pain shot down his left leg.



“Sevvie…”



“‘Cissa, call me that again and don’t expect to live.” He hissed.



“Severus – you can have three of the nine. There are another twelve propagating in the greenhouse.” She said, smiling sadly.



“Don’t bother.” Remus said, slapping Narcissa’s rump (and earning an undignified squeak for it) to get her to move from his lap before going to his multicoloured study. He returned with a vial. “Here – its werewolf-metabolism strength, no opium poppies, so no addiction to it. You’ll need to work out a dilution.”



Severus uncapped the vial and sniffed cautiously. “This is complex, who’s your brewer?”



“Hermione, Hermione Granger. She brews in her spare time.” Remus said, “I’ll owl and ask the recipe if you want, its one of her own device.”



“Oh? She’d have made a good potions mistress, such a shame a mind wasted.” Severus said, a little happier now he had possible pain relief that wouldn’t take three days to brew.



* * * * *



Lucius hugged Narcissa as they left the new front door to the small castle, kissing both her cheeks.



“I had brought you a housewarming gift – but I’ll wait until you’re in less kayos to deliver it.”



“You didn’t have to!” she insisted, leaning back into Remus’s chest as he hugged her from behind.



“I did. It is what friends do.” He replied. Shaking Lupin’s hand before apparating back to an empty Malfoy Manor – Snape was long gone as he was in need of the potion’s relief.



Arriving in his study, Lucius poured a small glass of firewhiskey, silently toasting to the obvious happiness of the couple.



‘It will likely be a Summer wedding,’ he thought as he sipped the alcohol, smiling at his ex-wife’s happiness.



Draco’s reply to their letters, regarding the separation, had been brief:

“It’s about bloody time! I’ll be back in England in three weeks. was all it said.