Our Choices

I woke up this morning, around 5:30 or so, to my bed shaking. My first thought is that my son must have crawled into bed with me and was tossing and turning, conveniently forgetting that even I can’t shake my bed like that. I was still half asleep, what can I say? Anyway, I started shushing him and telling him that he was fine and to just go back to sleep. Then I felt a very still, warm body pressed against my side. So not him. Then I realized, Mom is going to the Base today so she must have stopped by to have a quick breakfast with me before she left. I called out, “I’m up mom, I’ll be down in a minute.” Beds still shaking. “Mom, I’m up. Stop.” Shaking still. I sit up and yell, “Mom, stop!” That’s when I realize there is no one there. You guys have to realize, I live in back-woods Indiana. Mom is from the UK, Dad is from boone-docks Kentucy. I, along with the rest of my family have never felt an earthquake before so I had no clue what was going on. My first thought after realizing there’s no one but me and my son is that there’s some kind of ‘exorcist’ shit going on, but in the same moment, I asked myself, “Really, how old are you???”
So now I’m fully awake and I finally start to take notice of everything around me. It’s not just my bed. The door to my room and the windows are rattling, as well as a few things on my night stand. Then it stops. I get up out of bed to find out what the hell just happened and I hear my front door open and close. It’s mom, coming by for breakfast. By then my senses have returned and all I can do is look at her and say, “My house just shook Mom.”
Now that I think about it, it was really neat. The last time Indiana had an earthquake was like 20 years ago and if mom is right, at the time we were overseas visiting her parents. And even if we hadn’t been, I would have only been four so I wouldn’t have remembered anyway.
The only damage I noticed was a crack in the wall near the basement door. Insurance company will be out Monday to inspect it but I’m hoping it’s nothing serious.

Even if there is, I still think it was really cool.

Anyway.

This chapter is short, sorry. It’s actually half of chapter nine but I couldn’t get it finished in time so I just cut it short. Nothing really happens but it was, give what I have to you today or wait another week. Let me know whatcha think anyway.


Chapter Nine


Draco sipped his hot soup carefully. The tension around the table was thick and he did his best not to draw attention to himself. Potter was still fuming and Draco only had himself to blame. Where he had suddenly gotten balls of steel, he didn't know but he wished he had never shown them off. He felt like an idiot. He knew Potter had a temper, he knew, so why had he said all those things? Draco was angry with himself and feeling the anger only made him angrier. He spent two years only allowed to feel pain, humiliation and gratitude for the few and far between rewards he'd earned. Now barely three weeks away from Greyback and his body suddenly thought he was allowed other emotions. He really needed to control himself. Potter may not be brutalizing him but he was still Draco's owner. He didn't care what Potter or that stupid contract said. You could own a life. He was living proof. If his life was really his own he would be allowed to come and go as he pleased. He'd be able to buy things without Potter's permission. And he definitely wouldn't have to sleep with anyone he didn't want to. Just the thought of sleeping with Potter made him nauseous. He knew there was pleasure to be had between men, he'd heard enough stories to confirm it, but the act itself seemed disgusting now. When he thought of sex he thought of the stench of unwashed bodies, rotten breath floating over his face, a sticky substance cooling on his skin. He thought of pain and blood.

Nothing Potter could do would change that.

He glanced through his lashes at the other man. Cool green met grey and he quickly dropped his eyes back to the bowl in front of him. Draco could feel the icy stare and he desperately wanted to squirm but was too afraid it might send Potter into another fit. He wished Potter would get up and get himself another bowl of soup or another butterbeer or something. Just not sit there and stare.

Draco had read the contract like Potter wanted. It had taken him hours. Of course he hadn't memorized it. He seriously doubted anyone could, but he didn't tell the other man that. When he had come to collect Draco for supper he had seemed pleased enough with the answers to his questions regarding the contract. The paperwork basically went over what Potter had already told him, just in legal terms, so he had gotten lucky. What had interested him, however, was the 'after' portion. Apparently, when he was released, Potter had a cottage in Wales that would become Draco's. As well as two thousand galleons a month. When Potter had told him the allowance was hefty he certainly hadn't expected that amount. He doubted he, or anyone for that matter, could spend that much in a month. He wasn't about to complain though.

He set his spoon into the now empty bowl. Even though it had been his third, he looked over to the large pot on the counter with longing. He wanted more but was eager to escape Potter's stare and hide in his bedroom. He remembered, however, just as he was about to excuse himself, that Potter had said on nights that he cooked Draco would have to clean the dishes. He gave a small inward sigh as he lifted his eyes to meet the other mans.

"Are you finished?"

Potters brows rose and he gave a short clipped nod. Draco stood and slowly began clearing the table. Once he had everything in the sink he was suddenly at a loss. Though he'd never actually cleaned dishes before, he knew the concept. Soap, sponge, and water. The trouble was, he had no clue where the soap and sponges were.

"Everything you need is in the cabinet under the sink."

Draco startled a bit. He nodded in Potter's direction and mumbled his thanks.

He bent and quickly pulled out everything he needed before starting on his task. It really didn't take all that long but to Draco it felt like an eternity. He could feel the cold gaze settled firmly on his back. As he put the last of the silverware in the drawer, he turned and wiped his hands down his thighs. They felt pruney and dry.

"Would you mind if I went to bed now?"

Harry continued to gaze at him a moment longer then shifted his eyes to the clock on the far wall.

"It's only seven." He said as he looked back to Draco.

He came close to telling the other man he was tired but held it back. He wasn't really tired and lying to Potter, no matter how insignificant it was, didn't seem like a good idea at the moment.

He stood silently, shifting from one foot to the other. It reminded him strongly of the first time he'd been in Potter's home, standing in the doorway of his office, waiting for the other man to say something. He felt small and awkward, with a touch of nervousness.

He wondered what Potter would do if he suddenly took off running for his bedroom like he wanted to. The thought sounded more and more appealing as the seconds ticked by. He knew he was a coward, wanting to run away like a frightened child but he desperately wanted to be alone. And, of course, away from the cool stare.

He was just about ready to follow through with his thoughts when Potter saved him from the, would be, humiliating escape.

The brunette sighed softly, his eyes warming slightly. "Draco, I think we need to put this afternoon behind us. We both said and did things we shouldn't have and for my part, I'm sorry."

Draco nodded quickly, relieved. He wanted nothing more than to forget the day ever happened.

"I'm sorry too." And he was, partially. He'd meant almost everything he'd said. He was just sorry he'd said it all out loud. Some things he really hadn't meant, he had just been angry and afraid but the majority of it he truly believed. Not that Potter had to know.

Potter was back to staring at him again. This time with nothing more than curiosity. Although it wasn't an angry look, it still had Draco wishing he were somewhere else. Why couldn't Potter look somewhere else?

"I noticed you didn't use your steadybar today. Are you feeling any better?"

Draco felt a small jolt of pride but controlled it. He had actually forgotten all about the steadybar after he'd seen the Daily Prophet and hadn't realized it until just before the tele-thing incident. His legs did feel a bit shaky from the amount of walking he'd done but Draco knew that was to be expected.

He gave a small smile. "I do. Loads, actually."

Potter smiled in return. "It's amazing what a good meal and a full nights sleep will do."

"And mediwizards." Draco mumbled. A happy Potter made him almost as uncomfortable as a seductive Potter. They were getting off topic and Draco still wanted to go to his room.

Potter chuckled. "Yeah, I suppose they helped a little." He smirked jokingly.

Draco cleared his throat but remained silent. He wished Potter would just let him leave already.

Potter continued, clearly not noticing Draco's uneasiness. "Well, since you're feeling better, how about we go shopping tomorrow? We really need to get you some clothes of your own and I want to look around for a new television."

Draco bit his lip, his nervousness growing. "Will it be safe?"

"Well, the Prophet made a guess that your sudden disappearance was due to a falling out between you and your father over joining Voldemorts forces. They even hinted that you had emancipated yourself from the Malfoy family and hid away in France." He chuckled and Draco couldn't be sure if it was from the stupidity of nosey journalists or from the irony of how close to the truth it really was, even if it had been two years delayed.

"I think it's safe to say you'll be fine with the general public."

"But what about Death Eaters and... the others?" Screw the general public. He was more worried about Greyback.

Potter cocked his head to the side. "I doubt that Voldemort is expecting me to prance about in Diagon Ally and muggle London with you so soon. Of course, once it gets out that we did exactly that, you'll have to lay low for a while. Only leave unless it's necessary. I don't think, though, that there will be any reason for the both of us to go back out once we get everything you need. If you need or run out of something, I can always pop over and pick it up for you."

He really didn't want to leave the house. The thought of willingly walking through crowds of strangers made him shudder. He wanted to tell Potter that no matter what he thought, it wasn't safe.

Instead he said, "Alright."

~~~~~~~~~~

Draco woke the next morning with a slight headache. More than likely due to the lack of sleep the night before. When he'd been released from Potters presence he'd scrambled to his room and sat in bed for hours. He had no longer been worried about the happenings of the day. Instead, his worry focused on the impending doom disguised as a shopping trip.

He really, really, didn't want to leave the safe confines of Potter's home. Why couldn't the other man just take his measurements and pick it all up himself? It would make everything run smoother in Draco's opinion.

He sighed when he spotted the neatly folded outfit on the end of the bed. As he pulled on the clothes he wondered when Potter had brought them. They hadn't been there when he went to bed so he must have come while Draco was sleeping. The thought of Potter in the same room with him while he was sleeping made him uncomfortable. The other man seeing him in his most vulnerable moment made him feel almost violated.

Draco snorted. That was such a stupid feeling. He'd been violated before and Potter watching him while he slept was most certainly not a violation. He honestly couldn't understand what his mind and body were doing. Everything was topsy-turvy. One minute he was fine, he knew how to act and what to feel. The next he was a raving lunatic, snapping at Potter and allowing his new-found emotions run wild. He was just as bad as Potter. The only difference was that Potter was allowed to do and say and feel whatever he wanted. Draco wasn't.

The clothes barely fit. The grey trousers were the perfect length but they sagged around Draco's waist causing him to keep one hand clasped on the upper hem to keep them up. The soft cotton sweater looked like a sheet draped over his shoulders. It hung off of him, clearly showing his prominent collar bone. Draco knew he had lost weight but he doubted he could have lost that much. Potter was tall and bulky due to obvious physical training, where as Draco was equally tall but willowy, thanks to his mother. Though he was thinner now, he had always had the physic of a true pureblood. There was no need for heavy muscles, they settled matters through lawyers and wands. A pureblood was to be graceful and elegant, and added bulk just made you look like an oaf.

He had to admit, however, bulky or not, Potter did have a gracefulness about him at times. Even when he slouched in his overly stuffed chair in the sitting room he had an air that made Draco feel as if he were in an aristocratic household.

He blinked away his thoughts as a soft knock sounded on his door. Before he could call out, Potter opened it and stuck his head in.

He gave Draco a bright smile and said, "Good, you're awake."

He opened the door fully and looked Draco over. "I had hoped those would fit you." He gestured to Draco's outfit. "I can shrink the shirt a bit but I'll have to get a belt for the trousers."

Draco opted not to say anything in return and Potter must have spotted Draco's uneasiness because his smile softened.

"Everything will be fine, you know. I wouldn't take you out if I didn't think so."

Draco grimaced. "I don't see why you can't just take my measurements and send them to a tailor. It would be a lot safer."

"We're not just going out for clothes, Draco. You need other things, too. Besides, I thought you might like to look around for stuff to decorate with. He waved his hand around the room. "Add your own personal touch in here."

Draco looked around his room. He liked they way it was set up and told Potter this, aware that he sounded whiney.

Potter laughed. "You're not getting out of this. It will be good for you, in the long run. You'll have fun too. We're going to a Muggle shopping center to pick up a new telly. I bet you'll like the stuff they have there."

Five minutes later Draco and Potter stood in the front foyer. His sweater was now a slightly better fit and the slacks were snug around his waist.

Potter pulled a phial from his pocket and held it out to Draco. "Calming Draught. You look like you need it."

Draco took it and drank slowly, hoping to stall the inevitable. "Thank you." He paused and bit his lip. His head was pounding and he hesitantly asked, "Would you have something for a headache too?"

Potter flashed him a smile. "Of course." He left Draco and a moment later he was back with another phial. He handed it to Draco.

He once again sipped slowly. When he was finished Potter took the two empty containers and set them aside.

"Well then, lets head out." He said as he took hold of Draco's arm. "I'd use the floo but I would rather us not get separated. Hold on."

**********
Review please!